By:
In: Domestic discipline, Spanking
heart paddle on lion's butt

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the disciplinary relationship that Mrs. Lion and I have. I’ve gone through periods of fiercely defending that it is based on a real need to give my wife a strong voice in our marriage. At other times, I’ve acknowledged that there is a sexual turn-on when I think of her spanking me. There’s been a relationship between my general interest in sex and the frequency of  my spankings.

All of the above is true. Long before Mrs. Lion started using spanking as a punishment, she spanked me in BDSM scenes. Various partners have been spanking me for a very long time. All of those earlier spankings were in the context of scenes. This raises the question of exactly how spanking fits into our lives.

I’m pretty sure that Mrs. Lion would be just as happy if she didn’t need to spank me. She’s always said she doesn’t get any pleasure from beating my butt. She also says that she doesn’t mind doing it. She doesn’t like to be in charge. She prefers that I make most of the decisions. She also hated that I didn’t initiate sex. I’m OK with decision-making, but I have a real issue with initiating.

It’s clear that Mrs. Lion never wanted to wear the pants in the lions’ den, and she doesn’t. Nevertheless, I feel a strong need for her control. As I reflect on the subject, we could have gone about meeting this need in two ways. The first would be regular BDSM sessions with me bottoming. The other was what we ended up doing, establishing domestic discipline.

I’m not sure we made the best choice, but it’s way too late to change. Make no mistake, regardless of the sexual origins, we have a real disciplinary marriage. I think that Mrs. Lion still struggles with her role, but she soldiers on and is working on improving it.

It’s important for me to acknowledge that she is doing all this because it’s something I need. It isn’t about her. She doesn’t need to take on this role. I suspect that the same is true of other disciplinary wives. I also imagine that trouble occurs when the disciplined husband loses sight of this important fact. I believe that’s the reason Mrs. Lion has big trouble punishing me for upsetting her. That moves her role closer to her inner self. When she punishes me for not doing a chore, it’s a simple gotcha. I forget, I get spanked.

The problem with maintaining domestic discipline on the concrete rules level is that I tend to learn and stop breaking rules. A relatively new rule is the resumption of morning emails from me to Mrs. Lion. I forgot yesterday. Mrs. Lion caught me, and I was sentenced to a punishment spanking. It’s what she does. It’s what I asked her to do. I’ll probably forget a few more times. Based on our prior experience, I’ll forget less and less. Those spankings really work.

Mrs. Lion will need to find new things to catch me doing. It should be fairly easy if she decides to count the times I annoy her. She’s learned to snarl when I do. That’s a big step. It probably meets her need to let me know when I’m on thin ice. I sometimes don’t notice the growl. It’s a male thing, I guess. I don’t think it matters that much to her.

I’m fine with that. However, I think that given my need for control and spanking, she’s missing easy opportunities to catch me and punish me. Given my history, she’s also missing chances to change my behavior for the better. I don’t think it’s fair for me to say that she should spank me because it gives her a bigger megaphone in our marriage. I don’t think she wants one. I think that it is just another way to play her role. She isn’t punishing me to force me to take her more seriously. She’s punishing me because it’s part of a process I asked her to adopt. She isn’t turning into a strict disciplinarian. She’s just playing the game with a little more attention to detail.

By:
In: Punishment, Rules, Spanking
hairbrush paddle on lion's ass

Since I moved the gardens into the pantry, Lion was concerned I’ll forget about them. I haven’t really been taking good care of them lately anyway. Today, I made it a point to check on the water level during lunch. Ironically, it was Lion who forgot something important.

Admittedly, I didn’t think of it until it was after noon, but it’s not really my job to remember. Just to be sure, I checked for his daily email. It wasn’t there. A few moments before this, he tried on a new bathing suit and was happy with the way it fit his butt. I told him his butt would be getting some attention later. He said he meant to send an email. Yeah, well I meant to pick the winning numbers in the last huge lottery, but neither one happened.

Restarting our email tradition was his idea. He even made me a new email address so his wouldn’t get lost in the vacuum that is my regular email. He remembered to set the coffee up. He remembered to give the dog her treat. To be fair, he can’t really forget that. She does a very good job reminding him. I’ll have to make sure I do a very good job of spanking him.

He also wants to try the boner juice again. It seemed to work well last time. I think the biggest difference is there was almost no pain. With the Trimix and Quadmix, he feels various degrees of pain. I don’t know if it’s from the different drugs or how they make the blood rush in, but it doesn’t seem to happen with the solo drug. If we can get one of the injections to work consistently, we can focus all of our attention on orgasms. I know he wants them, and I want my cream filling.

[Lion — Well, the solo drug, Edex (alprostadil), isn’t totally painless, but it is more comfortable to take. It didn’t produce a full erection with our first test but it looks promising. Tonight, we’ll try a larger dose. Initially, it appeared that this drug would cost too much, but it turns out that my insurance covers it, and it may end up being slightly less expensive than Trimix. I wonder if I do the Edex before or after I’m spanked.]

By:
In: Letters

In my last post, “Do I Really Look Like “Dear Abby?”, I said that I don’t answer specific  questions about male chastity devices and FLR. I didn’t say that the answers to almost all of them are right here. Here is a recent email from someone who says she is a woman with a boyfriend who wants male chastity.

“I have recently been asked to be a KH of a man who lives 3 hours away. This is all new to me and I am trying to learn as much as possible. He has been doing male chastity on his own for awhile and has said we will take it slow. But I am not sure how to do this long distance? If we were together or lived near each other I would know what to do.

Can you please give me any advice on how to proceed? I have started teasing him about wearing his key (I bought a symbolic key) when I have sex. Or sending him a picture of this key around my neck. I told him I will only wear it when he is caged. That all seems to excite him. Any other ideas? There is not much I have found about this. Or I just have not stumbled across it yet.

Thanks so much! Your journal has been helpful. And fun!!
—Jodi”

Gee, we never talk about that here, do we? There is an entire section on the top menu addressing this question. Did this reader actually look at this website? Did h/she take the time to read the section, “How to cage your man?” Of course not. How much time would you put in to send a personal note to Jodi?

OK, how about this one?

 
 
I must have forgotten to address that subject too. Both of us have written hundreds of posts on this subject.

Sometimes the questions go a bit off-topic.

 

Thanks.”

That’s not a bad question. It was a little surprising. Well, we have Hulu, Paramount+, Peacock, Discovery+, Disney+, ESPN, Max, Met Opera (a gift from Mrs. Lion). It’s a fair question. We subscribe to the Hulu live service so we get network shows and NY Giants games. I like to answer reasonable questions here in the blog.

I also get some mail that makes me feel very good. It’s letters like this that help me believe that blogging is worthwhile.

“Thank you for your detailed explanations with ED. I just had a radical prostatectomy a few weeks ago and now have ED. Sharing your research, experiences and results will help others like me.

Thanks”

That email made me feel very good. It also let me know that I’m not alone. I value that he took the time to let me know that my words actually reached him. Thank you!

I’m not sure how our readers think of us. I’m pretty sure that about half don’t think of us at all. These are the people who come from search engines looking for answers to specific questions. They are also the ones who I think are most likely to send questions demanding answers. I like to believe that the other half of our readers have become friends who enjoy following our lives. This group doesn’t write very often.

I suppose that makes sense. The pattern on the Web is read-and-leave. That’s it. We are a sort of newsletter that some people enjoy. That’s fine, of course. I never expected tons of responses. What we write isn’t the sort of stuff that draws many comments. I love the ones we get. It occurred to me that  Mrs. Lion and I aren’t quite real to our readers. We are like characters on TV. We exist within the limited confines of our blog.

When I miss a day or two of posting, readers either don’t notice or don’t care. There are other things to read. Of course, that’s fine. I don’t mind. Well, maybe I mind a little. Living in the Male Chastity Journal universe is a little lonely sometimes. If it weren’t for our reader statistic software, I might even think I was just talking to myself (and Mrs. Lion). The stats are good, and I’m glad.

I’m also grateful. It feels good to know that we may be helping some people have more fun in bed (and elsewhere). Keep those emails coming.

out for the count yesterday

I spent most of Monday in the bathroom. I won’t gross you out with the details, but let’s just say I hadn’t visited it in a week, and then on Monday, there was a lot of pain and difficulty. Anyway, by dinnertime the matter was finally resolved, and the pain was mostly gone. I didn’t get into my office at all. I didn’t even look at my email. I suppose that I should expect problems like this when we are dieting and Mrs. Lion doesn’t make many high-fiber stuff like salads. Those Lean Cuisine meals aren’t the best for tummy health.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

The lion wasn’t feeling well yesterday. He spent the day in bed, watching movies and reruns. He kept apologizing about being a lump. It doesn’t bother me if he lounges around all day. I care if he’s sick. I want to make him better. I did, however, make a misstep on Sunday. I got an ad on Facebook for a cremation service. We see these commercials on TV for life insurance, talking about how expensive funerals are. I’ve always wondered how much it costs for cremation. It turns out to be very reasonable. Thinking Lion might like to know, I mentioned it. Now, since he wasn’t feeling well, he thinks I’m planning for his demise.

Well, I was, sort of. I mean, eventually, one of us is going to kick the bucket. He often thinks he has one foot in the grave anyway. Couple that with being sick, and he was sure I was going to dump him in a garbage bag and put him out with the trash last night. Anyway, I thought it was good information for both of us to have. I wasn’t plotting. I want him around for a long time.

There hasn’t been much going on around here. I was “cleaning” the room we use as a pantry so I could move the gardens in there. It frees up space in our living room, even though we’ll probably never use it. I got the gardens moved, but now the pantry is a disaster area. We gained a living room and lost access to most things in the pantry. Lion keeps reminding me he’s getting furry. Good luck even finding the massage table. My sister is visiting this coming weekend. After that, I can excavate the pantry.

We’ve been eating diet meals from Lean Cuisine and Healthy Choice since we canceled Nutrisystem. There seems to be more variety, but I’m sure they’ll get boring pretty soon too. What we need to do is concentrate on portion control. I’ve already been doing that with breakfast. Two Eggo waffles are about the same as Nutrisystem waffles, and they taste better. Of course, it’s easy to read a box and figure out serving size and calories. How many calories are in one hamburger? What’s the serving size? What about homemade chili or stew? We can’t eat diet stuff forever. I guess we could, but I don’t want to.