Orgasm control is a game. A male chastity device raises the stakes. For the man, the object of the game is to get an orgasm. The rules are simple: he can’t ejaculate until she lets him. The game isn’t interesting unless he wants to come. The more desperate he is, the more fun both players have. It’s that simple.

The reason a chastity device adds to the fun is that when he wears it he knows that he can’t decide to end the game himself. The male chastity device locked on his penis prevents him from masturbating and even getting an erection. His only outlet is to convince his keyholder to unlock his penis and give him an orgasm.

With or without the device the game is enhanced when his partner stimulates him until he thinks he will ejaculate and then stops just when he is ready to come. She can repeat this several times and then lock him up in his male chastity device. If he appeared indifferent to sex when she started this tease, by the time she is done he is panting and wanting release.

This goes on until she decides to let him ejaculate. She may have made him wait a few days, a week, or more. Most commonly a man playing this game has to wait between 10 days and two weeks. There seems to be some agreement among keyholders that ten days is a perfectly reasonable frequency for male orgasms. Mrs. Lion keeps me waiting about that long.

Despite the fantasies he may have recited as gospel, that’s the bare bones of the game. There are variations that can make it more exciting. Almost all men become more desperate to ejaculate the longer they are forced to wait. If they aren’t regularly teased, they will lose interest after a while. If their hormones are kept flowing by non-orgasmic sexual activity, their desire to come will grow and grow.

The entertainment value of the game comes from this desperation. What will he do to “earn” ejaculation? You can play Let’s Make An Orgasm Deal to find out. Just like the TV show “Let’s Make A Deal” he can be offered choices. To keep things interesting, the “prizes” he might earn aren’t necessarily ejaculation. They may just be steps leading to the Big Deal of an orgasm. He isn’t eligible to even try for the Big Deal unless he completes all the other activities.

The typical male chastity fantasy has him trading sexual favors for release. He might have to give his keyholder a certain number of orgasms before he can get off. I don’t think that makes sense as part of our game. He must be keeping you sexually satisfied because you are partners. The game isn’t played at all unless he does.

His “deals” could be activities to expand his sexual horizons. Anal play comes to mind. Most guys aren’t interested in being anally penetrated. Yet this can turn out to be a safe, erotic activity for him. Why not “train” him to enjoy it, or at least welcome it? Like the TV show, he can get a choice. He can choose a spanking or penetration with a dildo. He could get this choice several times a week. He can also choose neither. If he declines both, he won’t get release for at least another three days. That’s not to say he will get release sooner if he agrees or he will get release in three days. It just means he won’t get to ejaculate until some time after the three-day additional wait.

If he has already been waiting a week or so, he probably won’t want a guarantee he will have to wait that much longer. The additional wait could be a week instead of three days. His keyholder decides. If he refuses again, another week is added. He’s in control.

You get the idea. Let’s Make An Orgasm Deal always lets him decide what will happen. The longer it has been since his last orgasm, the more interesting the game becomes. There are endless variations on this. The idea is to remember to have fun.

When it comes to sex, I think that men and women are very different in the way we perceive it. I imagine a big part of it is the physical difference between males and females. We males have dangly bits that are not only easily accessible, but also provide visual confirmation of our sexual interest.

Of course, women can easily stimulate themselves, but unlike men, there are only subtle external signs of their sexual interest. To conform to female anatomy, their sex toys are generally designed to penetrate. Vibrators seem to be nearly universally orgasmic for women. More importantly, the female arousal curve is a nearly-straight line that extends from no arousal to orgasm. This makes masturbation and the use of toys a lot easier.

We, males, get aroused easily enough, but then we plateau staying excited, but not ready to ejaculate. When we are ready to squirt, we go from the plateau to over the top in less than five seconds. After we ejaculate the head of the penis can become painfully sensitive. You can see the challenge for toys in this.

Male sex toys are almost all aimed at producing orgasms without the need for direct manual stimulation. Most are vibrators. A few simulate the up-down motion of oral or vaginal sex. I’m not too fond of any of these. The Magic Wand vibrator in Mrs. Lion’s hand is usually a lot of fun and can get me to ejaculate. Other than that, we haven’t had a lot of success.

All this time I’ve overlooked the most exciting and universally successful toy we own. It turns out that the male chastity device creates the most exciting sexual game I’ve ever played. Almost everything you read about these penis prisons focuses on how they can deprive a male of sexual pleasure until his partner wants to take mercy on him.

Wait a minute — his partner decides when he gets sexual fun?

Sounds like a game to me. Consider this: Your partner locks your penis into a male chastity device on Friday night. You’re horny and would really like sex with her. She smiles and says it will be more fun if you wait. Really? It took a long time to lock you into the device because you kept getting hard. If you complain to your wife about being horny and in need of relief, she can remind you how hard you got when she was locking you up. You must have been enjoying the experience.

It’s true that you and she could think of this as a form of sexual control. That’s how it works for Mrs. Lion and I. But that isn’t the entire story. Consider this:

I’ll bet that your wife decides when you get sex. If you try to initiate and she isn’t in the mood, sex is out. Right? You could skulk off and masturbate, but that isn’t very much fun. If you are playing with the male chastity device, you can ask her to unlock you. If she refuses, she isn’t in the mood just then. You can complain that you’re horny, but it’s unlikely to get you sex. It will probably amuse her.

Chances are very good that your penis will be trying to get hard inside your male chastity device; frustrating but fun for both of you. When she decides to unlock you, if you’re like me,  your penis will go right to attention. She will love that. Now the sex can begin.

If she locks you back up after she is done, it starts all over again. You will find yourself getting horny almost at once. We want what we can’t have. When she isn’t in the mood, it will be fun because you both understand that no matter what you do, you will have to wait. Fun!

Note that there isn’t a drop of BDSM in this. You aren’t being made to wait any longer than you would without the device. The difference is the hardware that turns out to be a great male sex toy guaranteed to keep you horny and happy.

Show this post to your partner. She may find this game interesting.

jail bird chastity device
It may not look like a wedding ring, but it turns out that this is a very important symbol of our devotion as well as our chastity power exchange.

Now that we’ve been practicing male chastity for six years, I think I have a pretty good handle on what it is, and more importantly, what it isn’t. In the beginning I was very turned on by the idea of wearing a male chastity device. I love bondage and the chastity device is certainly a very intimate form of bondage. I think this is true of most guys. In the beginning we get obsessed with getting the right chastity device. We read everything we can find about the hardware. We may even buy a device or two from Amazon or We want something cool to lock around our cocks.

We also think about what it will be like to lose control of our orgasms. Once locked in that device, there is no chance of any sexual activity. The sexual activity this controls most often is masturbation. I don’t know of any guys who wear one to prevent having sex with other women. From its inception in Victorian times to the present, the male chastity device’s main purpose is to prevent masturbation.

I find that idea very hot. I’ve never been much of a secret masturbator, though I did jerk off once or twice a week when Mrs. Lion stopped wanting sex. When I got a device that fit, I asked Mrs. Lion if she would lock me into it. She agreed. She asked me a few questions about masturbation. She was very surprised to learn that I jerked off a couple of times a week. I was amazed that this bothered her. It turns out that she had no idea I was doing it and felt it was a betrayal. My first rule was that I was never to masturbate again.

That’s how we started. I think this is pretty typical. A short time later we drafted a chastity contract that spelled out our expectations. It specified that Mrs. Lion had total control over any sex I might get. It specified that she would unlock me and masturbate me to the edge of orgasm at least once every other day. She would be the only one who decides when I go further and get to ejaculate. It was a simple agreement. It said that after six months we would reevaluate and decide if we want to continue.

Mrs. Lion was sure that by six months I would want this over and done with. Within a few weeks of starting, we both surprised ourselves by realizing that we liked this arrangement. I was getting regular sexual stimulation and Mrs. Lion enjoyed having control of my sexual pleasure as well as deciding when I would get to ejaculate. It turned out that we both really enjoyed this power exchange.

shortest jail bird on lion's penisWe are still doing it. It’s changed very little. The only noticeable difference is that I’m not always locked in a chastity device. Mrs. Lion is indifferent right now as to whether or not I wear one. It doesn’t matter in terms of our male chastity power exchange. With or without a device locked on my penis, I never masturbate. It’s almost as if I’ve forgotten how. The only sex I receive comes from Mrs. Lion. She allows me to get hard if I want and I can use my hand to do it. But I’m not allowed to get close to the edge of orgasm. I never have. Male chastity for us is a way of life.

It doesn’t feel odd that I have lost control of my sexual pleasure. It feels natural and comfortable. I haven’t masturbated in six years. Unlike some guys, Mrs. Lion does not allow me to do it myself even under her supervision. She wisely believes that if she allows me to do it any time, I will be likely to try it on my own. So my paws remain away from “her weenie”.

If you are new to this, or your man has asked you to lock him in a chastity device, there are a couple of important points that our experience might illustrate. The first is that the only thing that male chastity is about is controlling the male’s sexual pleasure. That’s it. A chastity device is a very good idea in the beginning; by that I mean at least a year or two. It takes that long to get fully conditioned. I’m completely trained in terms of the sexual use of my penis. It belongs 100% to my lioness. Three years of continuously wearing a chastity device trained me very well. I know that if I’m even tempted to get myself off, Mrs. Lion will lock me back up immediately. Being wild, as we call it, is a privilege.

I think that writing an informal contract is an important beginning step with male chastity. Its value isn’t so much that it “legally” binds you as much as it defines the boundaries of this new, hot activity. Even if you plan to do it just for a weekend or a week, the contract adds a lot of heat to an already hot idea.

A chastity contract isn’t a good document that requires a form or some other complex set of instructions. It only has to cover a few important points:

1. How long the agreement is in force.

2. How often the device come off for cleaning and teasing.

3. How long (this is optional but important for some people in the beginning) is the maximum amount of time he has to wait between ejaculations. Another way to look at this is what is the minimum amount of time he has to wait. For example, it could say that he will not even have a chance at ejaculation until at least seven days has passed. This is useful and very exciting.

That’s it. I don’t suggest any other complications are required. Male chastity is a very simple game. A lot of guys try to complicate it with all sorts of rules and penalties. You may want to add stuff later, but in the beginning this is really as far as you should go.

I don’t often say “should”. I really hate when bloggers make pronouncements about what you should or should not do. The only reason I’m saying that now is that the very simple act of locking up a man’s penis and then controlling his sexual pleasure is very powerful. A lot of guys don’t realize just how difficult this can be. Also, perhaps more importantly, most women start out with absolutely no idea what this is about or why their man wants them to do it. It will take time for both partners to develop patterns that support male chastity. It’s taken Mrs. Lion and I years to fully integrate this into our marriage.

Now it is so deeply embedded in our relationship that I don’t think either of us would have any real idea how to stop. I can’t imagine having any kind of sex without Mrs. Lion’s explicit permission. In fact, I can’t imagine having any sort of sex without Mrs. Lion producing my pleasure. She has become my sole source of sexual gratification. I can’t do it myself anymore. She and she alone provides me with orgasms. That’s powerful stuff. It doesn’t seem that way when you start because it’s also very hot. Trust me, at some point the idea that sex is now no longer in your own hands sinks in. When it does, you may want to get out.

Obviously, when I realized it, I was happy. I’m still happy. I have never regretted giving Mrs. Lion power. She wields it with love and not a little mischievousness. She has fun with it and so do I. I hope you do too.

urethra poking out of a male chastity device
When everything is lined up; my urethra peaks out of the center opening. Peeing is not a problem then. Should it slip down a bit, there will be a messy spray.
(click image to view larger)

Mrs. Lion seemed surprised when she read about my decision to order a Cherry Keeper 3D printed chastity device. After all, I do have a large collection of these items. So far, the only one I wear regularly is the Jail Bird. Part of the reason I do is that it’s out and available when it isn’t on me. The main reason is that it fits perfectly and is very comfortable. I suspect that Mrs. Lion also likes the steel better than white nylon.

The Jail Bird is an old friend. I’ve been wearing it since 2014. It’s gone through several modifications, primarily cage shortening, to improve the fit. It’s very unlikely that any off-the-shelf product can fit as well. Having said that, there is one issue with the Jail Bird that I wish could be fixed: the alignment of my urethra in the cage.

Each time I’ve had the cage shortened I expected the firmer contact with the front bars would keep my urethra centered and unobstructed. Now that the cage length is down to just 1 inch, the shortest Jail Bird can be made, my urethra still wanders a little bit. All it takes is for it to move slightly behind one of the bars to produce an unfortunate, messy spray of urine.

It may turn out that short of a urethral tube, no device will provide continuous, trouble-free alignment for the urethra. A partial solution is to sit when peeing. That way, messy spray is contained inside the toilet. Of course, if the alignment is off my balls get an unwelcome urine shower. My solution is to keep a Q-tip handy at all times. I can use it to realign the head of my penis so that spray is eliminated.

I really want a trouble-free device. Our collective experience with very short cages suggests there may be an opportunity to build devices that effectively hold the penis head position and, of course, provide protection from sexual arousal. The market dictates what’s important when designing and building male chastity devices. Until the last few years, there’s been very little feedback to the makers.

Thanks to blogs and forums, it’s possible for people who will design and make male chastity devices to keep their fingers on the pulse of the market. Discussion of security is more and more infrequent. Guys are maturing and recognize that they are wearing these devices because they asked to. That means, one of the major considerations in chastity device design: security is very low priority. With our discovery that cage length can be very short without compromising comfort, another formerly important fit issue has fallen by the wayside.

As my one-inch Jail Bird illustrates, the cage itself only has to contain the head of the penis. The flaccid body comfortably collapses upon itself and lives behind the cage and in front of the base ring. That means we can get a design that fits the head like a glove and has a mechanical mechanism, like the headlock in the Cherry Keeper, that doesn’t allow the head to pull back at any time. This fit should guarantee there won’t be any more migration causing those unpleasant sprays.

The Nub is a good example of a device that’s on the right track. Its 1 inch tube tightly holds the penis head and the urethra pokes through the single front opening. In my experiments wearing it, I find that the urethra can at times wander away from its position. Getting it back in position can be problematic.

I have an idea. What if the very front of the cage has a short funnel-like structure. If the head can be held firmly in place inside the cage, the short funnel can encourage the urethra to remain centered. The walls of this sloping shape can form a sort of seal between the head of the penis and the opening. This will assure proper alignment. I’m not suggesting that the funnel taper to a small opening. It doesn’t have to. It just needs to provide a little extra encouragement to keep the urethra where it belongs.

Once you stop worrying about security and somehow encasing the entire penis in a cage, you can think about the issues that make long-term chastity device wear more practical. I think it’s worth a try.