Lion asked me how his spanking felt to me last night. Weird question. The better question is how it felt to him. It was his butt that got whomped. I guess he was looking for me to say it felt great to whomp him . Or maybe it felt like I’d finally hit my stride. It didn’t feel any different. I thought I was hitting harder, but it’s difficult to tell. Sorry I can’t give a more definitive answer. I always feel like I’m letting him down when I can’t say, “All of the tension has left my body. I feel one with god.” Or words to that effect. [Lion — She hit a lot harder. It hurts to sit down now, a day later]

During the spanking, however, I can tell him I hope he’s learning his lesson or that he’s gotten blood on my paddle or, in response to his yelps, that it’s supposed to hurt. That’s the whole me versus Mrs. Lion thing. I know he wants me to get to a point where I can punish him for important things. It just feels like a lot of pressure added to the every day pressures I already have. This morning Lion fell again and complained about all the boxes in his way as he navigates the house. I can only do what I can do. I think we both need to stop ordering things from Amazon. I get one set of boxes out the door and more come in the next day. I’ll never get unpacked at this rate.

The other day, Lion mentioned not having any fun for the month of October. He’s “only” had orgasms. It’s Unlocktober. He was supposed to get orgasms. Does he want both? See the last part of the paragraph above.

Lion also remembered our football game from last year. He gets a certain amount of swats when there’s a score and a certain amount if our team fumbles or is intercepted. I forgot all about it. It was a good game. The problem is that our team sucks again this year and rather than pay too much attention to them, I think I should be unpacking. Think about it. It’s three hours of wasted time (especially watching our team) that could be spent more productively. [Lion — I agree, but we end up watching anyway.]

It may seem like I’m trying to get out of doing things for Lion, but if you saw our house, you’d understand.  Yes, Lion should be a priority, and he is. But unpacking has to be a priority too otherwise it will never get done. I’ve got to make the house safer for Lion.

It’s another one of my harebrained ideas. I reasoned that if Mrs. Lion is having difficulty punishing me for doing things that upset her, and I am having difficulty initiating sex, then we have a perfect opportunity to use our disciplinary relationship to help us. Simply put, we would agree on a number of days a week I would attempt to initiate sex with Mrs. Lion. We should probably pick specific days for this; more about that later. On those days, I would attempt to initiate sex with Mrs. Lion. If she is receptive, I go on to provide her with an orgasm of her choice. I am not guaranteed one for myself. If I failed to attempt to initiate sex, it’s a spankable offense.

That’s the outline of my proposal. I realize that this isn’t very romantic. I don’t think it can be in the beginning. I’ve had a lifelong problem taking the sexual lead. Even in my most dominant days, I’ve just haven’t been able to bring myself to initiate sex. Ironically, I’ve always had a lot of sex. Either out of frustration or their actual natures, women I’ve been involved with has had no problem taking the lead in getting me started. It’s that first move that I have trouble with. Once things get started, I don’t have any trouble at all.

Mrs. Lion isn’t aggressive. As we’ve learned, she would rather give up sex then take the lead. Ironically, she has no trouble initiating sexual activities that are just for me. This is part of a larger pattern. It’s very difficult for her to mention anything that bothers her. She is much more likely to just stay quiet. If something I do is particularly bothersome, she ignores me. I have to probe to find out what’s wrong. One of the main goals of our disciplinary relationship is for Mrs. Lion to express her displeasure with her paddle, rather than withdrawing. As a first step, she resolved to growl or snarl rather than withdraw. Then, she was going to accompany her growl with a concrete and painful punishment for me.

We resolve to do this at least a year ago. We repeated the resolution regularly since then. Mrs. Lion hasn’t been able to make that change. That’s when I got the bright idea to try to fix two important problems. It came to me after I provided Mrs. Lion with an orgasm via oral sex. She enjoyed it and expressed interest in having more. So it isn’t that she doesn’t like sex; she doesn’t want to initiate sex for herself. This is something we’ve known about for a long time and never managed to fix.

In fact, I suggested enforced male chastity as a way of surrendering my role as initiator. After all, I reasoned, if Mrs. Lion has the key that unlocks my penis, she would then also be able to decide when and if we had sex. It didn’t work out that way. Yes, she controlled sex: sex for me. She said she had no interest in sex for herself. Even sex for me required a conscious plan. Mrs. Lion promised to provide me with sexual stimulation at least once every other day. For most of the last six years she’s done exactly that. However, in the last couple of months I’ve only gotten sexual attention when she planned to give me an orgasm.

Okay, my original plan to lock up my penis as a way of getting Mrs. Lion to initiate sex was a complete bust. My enforced male chastity turned out to be something we both like and intend to keep on doing forever. The original problem still remains unsolved. Maybe the solution is at hand.

I’m suggesting that Mrs. Lion make a rule that I have to initiate, or at least attempt to initiate sex that results in her having an orgasm at least three times a week. Perhaps we should add initiating sex to activities on our designated punishment days (Monday, Thursday, and Saturday). If on any one of these days she isn’t in the mood for sex, she can tell me and that’s that. If I fail to make a serious effort at initiating sex for her, I’m punished.

In the beginning, I’m sure that my efforts will be a little clumsy. I think it might come down to me asking her she would like me to get close. If she says yes, I can begin trying to arouse her. There are two specific sexual activities that work very well for her and don’t necessarily involve giving me an orgasm. The first is obvious: giving her oral sex. She loves it and I love doing it. The second is what we call “Lion Riding”. This is when she mounts me in the cowgirl position. This position is the best one for giving her an orgasm during intercourse. It also is very unlikely to stimulate me enough to ejaculate. When she wants me to come inside her, she mounts me in reverse cowgirl. In this position she faces my feet and my penis is extremely well stimulated and I’m guaranteed to have an orgasm quite easily.

Since this is not about my orgasms, I would expect that I will be doing oral most of the time. Hopefully, we can get back to the old pattern where I get ridden for a while and then Mrs. Lion moves over my face for oral attention. I am okay with anything she would like. I’m hoping that she will let me know what she wants on any given evening.

In the beginning, I imagine we will discuss the evening’s entertainment in emails during the day. At least I hope that will be what we do. It will be difficult for me to begin with spontaneous initiation. I think after a while, at her discretion, she could have me spontaneously initiate and refuse to plan in advance.

This is all independent of my sexual stimulation. I want to be sure she knows that her sex nights don’t have to include sexual activities for me. In fact, it may be a good idea to give me sexual fun on nights that aren’t for her. Again, this is a bit artificial. However, I think it’s important that she and I both understand that reciprocation is not part of this process. In fact, in the near future I expect to be back in a chastity device which should stay on unless Mrs. Lion desires to ride me. Writing me absolutely doesn’t imply I get an orgasm. It’s for her. If, on my night, she wants to give me an orgasm by penetration, she can mount me reverse cowgirl to allow me to come inside her.

The key to all this is that we are doing essentially the same thing we did when we began our female led relationship. Mrs. Lion made rules that were very easy to observe and had no serious emotional consequences. The rule she selected were likely to be broken quite frequently. That meant that we both got experience with punishing me. These rules remain in effect and I still break them now and then. They are: I must wait for her to begin eating before I can start and I’m not allowed to spill food on my shirt. Some of the meals we eat make it very difficult for me not to break the second rule. A third rule was added that I had to remind Mrs. Lion when it was punishment day. Most recently, I forgot to remind her on Saturday that it was punishment day. I’m now halfway through four days of spanking. I can promise you I won’t forget to remind her anytime soon.

Anyway, I’m suggesting that a way of getting Mrs. Lion into the framework of observing and punishing things that actually bother her, is to make missing sexual initiation day a spankable offense. Like the punishment day reminding rule, she can set a deadline for initiation. I have to remind her it’s punishment day before 8:30 PM on that date. She can set a similar deadline for sexual initiation.

I absolutely understand that this is a very artificial concept. However, we’ve proven that it’s effective for us to do things like this. My hope is that Jan getting Mrs. Lion back into the habit of having regular orgasms, it also gets her into the habit of observing and punishing things I do that bother her. The one thing that prevents our disciplinary relationship from becoming a full domestic discipline marriage is that I’m punished for relatively trivial things. Most couples that practice domestic discipline have more serious offenses to handle.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t continue with the current rules. I think that we will have those forever. What I am saying is that we now start adding more meaningful offenses to the list of reasons I get spanked. I’m suggesting that the first be forgetting to initiate sex.

You may notice that I didn’t suggest that Mrs. Lion attach my sexual activities to my requirement to initiate sex for her. She’s made it very clear that my program of enforced chastity and orgasm control remain independent of anything else we do inside our disciplinary relationship. Even if I forget or fail to initiate, I expect she will still edge me or give me orgasms as she wishes.

I’m not even sure that we will ever integrate my sexual pleasure with hers. I don’t think it makes a lot of sense to do that. I should focus on giving her pleasure when I initiate sex. Sexual pleasure for me is beside the point. Similarly, when it’s my time for sexual stimulation, Mrs. Lion’s focus will be on me, not her. I think this will work very well for us, at least for the near future.

lion's spanked butt
Lion asks me how red I made his butt. I tell him that I don’t have a standard. However, this is a color I’ve produced in the past. Maybe we should print this picture as a comparison so that I can achieve consistent redness every time I spank him.

I went back to using the camper paddle last night. It drew some blood but I think that’s only because the other paddle opened the skin the night before. There’s really no way to avoid those areas with daily spanking. Lion said I should avoid bruised areas too. Again, I’m not sure how that will work. His butt is not that big. [Lion — It’s not an absolute safety rule to avoid bruises, but it’s a good idea.]

I’ve been varying things a bit. I’m not sure how it’s working because Lion said I’ll know when I’m hitting too hard because he’ll try to get away. Sometimes I do a flurry of hard swats. Sometimes I do a flurry of lighter swats. Then I do harder swats with time between them. He says I shouldn’t wait so long between swats. I figured I was making him think about each hard swat when I did them slowly. I guess not. Or maybe I need to do super hard swats with time between them so he can think about them. [Lion — Uh huh.]

Ultimately, it’s my decision how hard or soft to hit, how fast or slow to go, and how many swats he winds up getting. I haven’t been counting. I go until I think he’s gotten the message. How do I know? It’s all guesswork. I really have no idea how sore his butt is or what’s going on in his mind. He could be thinking he’s gotten the message by the second barrage of swats and he just wishes I’d stop so he can nurse his wounds. In reality, he’s probably thinking I should hit harder and keep going until I can’t raise my arm any more. [Lion — Nuh Uh]

The other day, we were talking about pain. I said I wish I knew how much pain he was in from his shoulder. He wondered why. People feel pain differently and I wonder if his pain on a scale of one to ten is a six would feel more like eight or four to me. I live with chronic pain so I assume I feel acute pain differently. I have no basis in fact for that. The other thing is that I’m used to “playing through the pain”. I played soccer and quite frequently I’d feel an injury some time after the actual injury occurred. I always chalked that up to adrenaline. But I wonder if it’s the same with chronic pain versus acute pain.

At any rate, Lion said it wouldn’t be a good idea to use that ability to feel the pain of a spanking. I hadn’t thought of it, but I do wonder why. If I know that his six is my eight, then I might know when he was approaching his limit. I guess it wouldn’t be fair, for one. I could push him more than he wants to be pushed. Or I could stop sooner than he wants me to. Regardless, I was just interested in general pain, not punishment pain. [Lion — I don’t want to control how much I am pushed or when Mrs. Lion stops. That’s up to her.]

spanking spoon paddle on lion's butt
The spoon-shaped paddle that Mrs. Lion used on Monday night.

Mrs. Lion likes to experiment. No, she doesn’t design elaborate ways to torture me, but she does like trying new things. On Monday night I got my first of four spankings sentenced because I forgot Saturday was punishment day. Instead of using the paddle she retrieved from our camper, she used the spoon -shaped paddle that has been one of her favorites.

Until she started using the camper paddle (a very vicious long-handled device modeled after a punishment paddle from colonial times), I thought the spoon-shaped paddle was the most painful in her collection. I was wrong.

The spoon-shaped paddle certainly hurt a lot. But it wasn’t as painful as the camper paddle. The spoon drew blood. However, I am not feeling any residual pain from bruises. Of course, there is no way to scientifically analyze whether or not the application of these paddles were equal. The results they got were very different.

I don’t think that we noticed these differences in the past because the intensity of my spankings wasn’t high enough to evoke comparable results.

hanson ferule paddle
This is the Hanson ferule paddle in bloodwood. Mrs. Lion calls this the “camper paddle”.
(Click image to view larger)

I imagine that Mrs. Lion will probably go back to the camper paddle. Actually, I think there are two of them in our collection. I believe we got one a couple of years ago and I had one from my earlier days when I was a top. That means she can have one of this model in the camper and another here at home.

From my reading I’ve learned that many disciplined husbands are given input as to the tools that are used to spank them. One I know of finds hairbrush spankings more meaningful and has managed to build a collection of them over the years. I guess I am more of a paddle man. I seem to acquire paddles on a regular basis.

Now that we are in a much more disciplinary phase where the spankings are intended to make a strong point, it makes sense for Mrs. Lion to use the most effective tools. There is no question that her camper paddle is the best to date. I think she might consider making that her exclusive tool for some time.

I have to admit that my camper paddle spanking has changed my view of punishment. I felt the results of that spanking for two days after I received it. While I was being spanked I genuinely regretted getting myself in this position. On Monday night I was definitely not in the mood for another spanking. The spoon-shaped paddle really hurt. I couldn’t wait until Mrs. Lion finished.

Her approach on Monday varied significantly from her usual. She made sure that she spread my cheeks and applied strong swats into the tender flesh she revealed. She also paid attention to my thighs. She was careful to make sure that I felt my punishment over every inch of my bottom. The spanking with the camper paddle wasn’t as thorough but it was certainly more painful.

I have mixed feelings about drawing blood. It’s fairly common I understand. I’m not sure why the spoon-shaped paddle drew so much blood and the camper paddle drew none. It wasn’t that the camper paddle was used more gently. I think it may have to do with the fact that the spoon-shaped paddle is heavier. I would think that the heavier paddle would bruise me more than the camper paddle. It absolutely didn’t. The camper paddle, even though it didn’t draw any blood, was much more painful during and after the spanking.

I’ve been on the other end of the paddle for decades. Mrs. Lion has been spanking me for at least 10 years. We never observed any of these issues in the past. I think that we are finally in the realm of a true disciplinary spanking. I don’t think Mrs. Lion is being unnecessarily cruel. I think she is finally reaching the point that she can send me a real disciplinary message.

Obviously, this isn’t important in the context of our relatively trivial rules. I’ve been successfully trained with the less intense spankings. But lioness 3.0 is in residence and she has promised to use discipline as a way of correcting me when I interrupt her or do other things that are thoughtless and hurtful. This is the goal of adopting our Female Led Relationship with Discipline.

It’s been a long, difficult road. We’ve both had to overcome inbred patterns of behavior. To some extent we are still struggling with those things. However, Mrs. Lion is close to the point of observing and then spanking me when I do things that upset her. Once she begins doing that, I think there will be a lot of positive change.

Those offenses are the reason she needed to learn to produce true disciplinary spankings. I think that she is well on her way to doing that. We also have established the multi-spanking discipline program.

This program has Mrs. Lion sentencing me to multiple spankings depending on the offense I’ve committed. We are doing this so that all spankings are the same. The spanking for a trivial offense is just as intense as one for a serious one. However, a serious offense will earn me a larger sentence of spankings. The spankings are administered each day until I’ve completed my sentence.

Currently, I’m sentenced to four spankings when I forgot punishment day. The reason I’m getting so many is that I’ve been consistently forgetting this. Our theory is that if being punished for an offense doesn’t stop me committing it, obviously I need a stronger punishment to get the message across. I believe this works well for us.

I know exactly what to expect. I know that each spanking will be a full-intensity disciplinary spanking. There are no more mild spankings in the Lions den. I’m learning painfully that I have to be much more careful about obeying my rules and my lioness.

This “lion system” of discipline is very effective. It works for Mrs. Lion because she doesn’t have to worry about modulating my punishments based on seriousness. She uses sentence length to express the degree of her displeasure. Believe me, by the third night of daily spanking I am very repentant for my sin.

I don’t know if this would work for anyone else. It seems to be doing the trick for us. Right now, our biggest challenge is getting Mrs. Lion to observe and punish things I do that upset her. I think she is so concerned about being fair that she disregards things I do because she may not have warned me or because she’s not sure she deserves to spank me because I’d said something to her. I’m sure this will get worked out soon.

Maybe we have to approach this the way we approached behavioral punishments in the beginning. Mrs. Lion established some simple, easy-to-break rules. To this day they represent all of the punishments I receive. Perhaps she needs to do the same thing with some of the negative behaviors I display. Perhaps she should choose relatively trivial things I do want a regular basis. She could make those rules and observe and punish offenses.

This is all just behavioral modification. It’s a training process for her as well as for me. I look forward to her making this next step. I think it will make her happier in the long run as well as training me to be a better lion.