How To Cage Your Man » Sex And Enforced Chastity

Almost everything blogged about male chastity discusses sex. It makes sense, since there are few interesting things to talk about when locked up with no stimulation. However, if you go by the various blogs and forums, caged males are getting a lot more sex than guys who are not into chastity. That might actually be true.

Be that as it may, the entire point of being caged is the transfer of sexual control to the keyholder. In many cases, the caged male ends up waiting for orgasms longer than he would if he could take things into his own hands. When I began my lockup, one of the things that surprised Mrs. Lion was that I had regularly masturbated throughout our marriage. Her libido has always been lower than mine and I “filled in” between opportunities to orgasm with her. Of course, now that I am caged, I can’t masturbate at all.

That brings me to the first sexual issue that a couple entering in a enforced male chastity experience has to confront. What is the appropriate amount of orgasms the caged male should get? This question is where the rubber meets the road between the male chastity fantasies, and the cold reality of long-term lockup.

Frequency: making him wait is power
Most male chastity fantasies imagine few if any orgasms. The male is locked up and must spend the rest of his life sexually satisfying the keyholder while he never ejaculates again. Few males actually live out this fantasy. I certainly don’t and never want to!

Let’s go to the other extreme: daily orgasms. When we first started, Mrs. Lion reasoned that if she owned my penis and controlled my orgasms, then she could make me come every day. So, she tried that. One problem for me was that at my age I really don’t want a daily orgasm. Another was that my lockup was pointless. She was giving me more orgasms than I wanted so if she left me wild (out of my cage) there was absolutely no chance I would want to do anything sexual without her. She exercised her power by giving me more sex than I wanted.

I had to accept her reasoning. I did surrender sexual control to her. It’s her choice to decide what that means. The fact that it didn’t conform to my personal chastity fantasy had nothing to do with her power over me. I did manage to convince her that perhaps making me wait would be more in line with what I had in mind when we started. She agreed.

If you are new to enforced chastity, chances are very good that you are wondering how to use your lockup to best advantage. So the first point is that as keyholder, you want to instill in your caged male that if and when he orgasms is completely up to you. You also want him to understand that if you are not happy with him, he will not orgasm. To send this message, you have to make him want sex so badly that he will do anything to get you to make him come. For some men, particularly young ones, this can take a week (never less!). For older men, the wait may need to be two, three, or even four weeks. Whatever time it takes to make him desperate for release, that is how long he should have to wait. You will be surprised how many positive attitude changes these waits will produce.

Some males insist that after they orgasm, they revert to their former, inconsiderate selves. That is possible, but definitely curable. The obvious cure that he will almost certainly suggest, is to never let him come again. Oh boy! There’s that fantasy again. More practically, if after he comes, his behavior changes for the worse, just add at least a week to his wait. He won’t think it is a big deal if he had come recently. That’s ok. Just smile when he comments. As time goes by, he will begin to realize what a big deal it really is.

Remember, in terms of your power as keyholder, time is on your side. It may take a year to get it through his head, but your male will learn that he really needs sex and anything he does to make you extend his waits is just not worth the bad behavior.

Non-orgasmic activities
Many males believe that they will always be horny. If you lock them up and ignore them, they think that their desire to get off will continue to grow. This is true up to a point, but the fact is that if a man or woman is not sexually stimulated, over time the desire for sex will diminish and eventually disappear.  That’s why regular, non orgasmic sexual activities are needed to keep him wanting.

It may seem cruel, but a key component of enforced chastity is to keep your caged male in a continuous state of heat. Every day without an orgasm should feel like it is lasting forever and he should grow more and more desperate for release. That, after all, is the real core of all those chastity fantasies. The way to do this is through regular non-orgasmic teasing.

Most keyholders become expert cock teases. They learn how to bring their males within millimeters of an orgasm and then stopping. This is a technique every new keyholder must develop. The most common, and easiest way, is by masturbating him. The setup for this is up to you. Some keyholders restrain the male’s hands during this activity. Most don’t. Males have to exercise self control.

Ok, you have him naked and on his back. Remove his cage. While its off, check for chafing or irritation. If you find any, consider leaving him unlocked until it heals. Once uncaged, masturbate him. Watch him carefully. If you want, tell him to let you know when he is close. You can tell him that if he has an “accident” he will stay locked with no teasing for a month. Get him to help you, but don’t necessarily believe him in the beginning.

Tease him any way you want. The objective is to get him close to orgasm without letting him get release. Getting him very aroused is just as good as bringing him right to the edge. While he may think it is for his fun, your real objective is to keep those hormones flowing and reminding his body of what it is missing. You can do this over and over as many times as you want. If you keep it up long enough, he will actually lose the ability to come for a while. Just remember, no orgasms until his release date!

When you are done, lock him up again, pat his butt and send him on his way. Or, if you like, lock him up and have him lick or finger you to as many orgasms as you like. Just be sure to lock him up first. He could be humping the bed to orgasm while he licks you.

Ruined Orgasms
A ruined orgasm is when you stimulate your male just over the edge and stop. You will see him react strongly but appear not to orgasm. However, within ten seconds you will see semen dripping out of his penis. You have triggered his orgasmic physical reaction but haven’t given his body enough stimulation to complete all of the steps needed for a full male orgasm. The semen dripping out is caused by the fact that ejaculation was signaled, but you stopped before the stimulation needed to get his PC muscle to squirt it out was triggered.

A lot of males will insist this is not really an orgasm and they are as horny after having one as they were before it happened. Mentally this may be true, but physically it isn’t. One of the key contributors to feeling horny for males is the need to ejaculate. Physically and psychologically, ejaculation is the objective of orgasm. Mrs. Lion has given me quite a few ruined orgasms. They do not feel very good. I don’t like the sensation at all. But I can also feel that they do “reset” some of the urgency I was feeling before I ejaculated. This is true of all males. Some may insist it isn’t true, but physiologically it is.

There is a place for ruined orgasms. If you want to assert your power very graphically, instead of a full orgasm on his next release date, give him a ruined one, then lock him up again for his waiting period. This is massively frustrating for the male. He will hate it. But it will remind him that he is completely dependent on you for sex of any kind; even ruined orgasms.

I’ve been asked how to give a male a ruined orgasm. It’s not difficult. Start by masturbating him until he gets very excited and appears that he is close to coming. Stop. Wait a full ten seconds. If no semen appears, masturbate him again until he seems ready to come. Wait ten seconds. Repeat and add a few strokes. The ten second wait assures that if he does start to orgasm, you won’t accidentally give him a full orgasm. Even if he wasn’t ready to come, starting again only ten seconds later will drive him closer and closer. If at any point he seems to be coming. Stop stimulation immediately and wait. If semen drips out, you are done. It’s that simple.

Based on my experience, I suggest you reserve ruined orgasms as substitutes for full ones. Don’t use them in place of teasing. No semen should be produced until you decide he has waited long enough. Here is a video that demonstrates how to give a ruined orgasm.

Sex for the keyholder
As keyholder, all this male sex and teasing may make you horny. One of the best benefits of having a caged male is his interest in providing you with lots of orgasms. His wish to do this is driven by two powerful forces: One is his desire to convince you to get him off. In his mind, giving you an orgasm might put you in the mood to give him one. The other reason is more subtle; giving you orgasms is sex and even though he doesn’t get to come, he can still experience the pleasure of giving you orgasms.

Regardless of his state of waiting, feel free to have him provide you with sexual attention whenever you want. But, don’t let him push you into getting more attention than you desire. A lot of males will try to deal with their frustration by convincing their keyholders to orgasm frequently. Take sex from him when you want, not when he wants.

One tricky subject is intercourse. Up to now the only male stimulation we have talked about is using your hand to masturbate him. There is a good reason for this: Any other form of stimulation is very difficult to control and will likely result in an unplanned “accident” for him. So in the beginning, any non-orgasmic sex for him should probably be restricted to your hand.

Some keyholders train their males to hold back orgasms. They do this by having their males penetrate them and provide only the keyholder with an orgasm. This is tough for males to do. All of us have been conditioned to come when we are ready. If you want to train him not to come, you will have to add punishment to your chastity activities. He has to know that an “accident” will result in punishment. Many keyholders spank males immediately after they have an accident. This is no play spanking. A hairbrush or paddle is used to provide a very painful lesson each time he comes without permission. Since his accident removed his interest in sex for a while, the spanking will be pure punishment with no sexual overtones.

If you are inclined to do this training, you can help your male learn with some teaching aids. One good one is the use of condoms. A couple of condoms will reduce his sensitivity and make it easier for him to control himself. Another good one is desensitizing cream. These creams like Oragel contain Novocaine or other anesthetics that actually numb the penis and eliminate any pleasurable sensation from intercourse. If you do use a numbing product on him, wait at least ten minutes after applying it before you let him inside you.  It takes at least that long for the anesthetic to take full effect Also, put a condom on him or the cream left on his penis will put your vagina to sleep. There is nothing wrong with training aids to help him learn to use his penis for your pleasure, not his. By the way, if you numb him too much he will lose his erection and be unable to get one again until the anesthetic wears off.

The main point of enforced chastity is to transfer control of the caged male’s sexual pleasure from him to his keyholder. It is a power exchange. As keyholder you need to maintain his sexual desire throughout his waiting time. He has to be desperate for release in order for him to truly feel sexually controlled. To keep him that way, you will need to stimulate him on a regular basis without providing him the opportunity to orgasm or ejaculate.

An ultimate expression of your power is to replace his scheduled orgasm with a ruined one. This is very frustrating to the male and will imprint strongly that you, in fact, own his pleasure. Since ruined orgasms do reset his physical need for orgasm, if not his mental one, they should not be intentionally given before his scheduled release date.

Sex for you is independent of his pleasure. You should use him to give you orgasms whenever you desire them. If you want intercourse without him ejaculating, you will have to train him to hold back. This can be done through punishment for accidents and with training aids: multiple condoms and/or numbing cream.

Your male has asked you to control his ability to get sexual pleasure. It’s up to you to assert that control and have fun in the process!


  1. Author

    Best article I have read in a long time very well put.

  2. Author

    Speaking as a senior couple who have been married 40 plus years and I have been locked up since 1997 that is 17 years and I don’t regret it at all!
    #1 the fact that I can’t masturbate or have any relief/release/orgasm without her key has set my “T” level ( according to my last physical) in a range that is typical or a man in the late 30 to early 40s. and that definitely perks my interest in her.
    #2 I have to deal with a neurological problem with my heart rhythm so the pharmaceutical treatments that are out there ( i.e Viagra, Levitra, Cealis) might be lethal to me.
    I am no longer embarrassed about her controlling my sex it is done to benefit us as a couple i have decent erections and great orgasms with a large amount of semen released and that beats the shit out of “taking matters in my own hands”.
    She teases and has some very sexy household wear but more than that at age 70 plus I have come to enjoy the “horny 20 year old feeling”.
    Of course I do tease and stimulate her with my hands and my tongue because I like to leave her all teased up too!
    Enforced male chastity if worked by cooperative arrangement of both the man and woman can be a great benefit to a relationship we are lovers not an old couple who have become “roommates” in a stale relationship.
    By the way I recently develioped a folding funnel-likr device that makes it easy for me to pee at any urinal.
    In short enforced is a benefit to both parties and

  3. Author

    Out of interest, after a tease and deny session, what’s the best way to get the cock back in to the cage, as at this point I’d assume it’s rock hard and any more contact will just make it worse

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