Click image to purchase a similar product. Socks are something you buy for yourself. So, I ordered a similar sock (open head) for myself.

Sex is sometimes difficult for me. It’s a combination of my biological issues and Mrs. Lion’s lack of sexual interest. She tries to give me a good time. Most of the time, she succeeds. I don’t think she realizes that I can tell when her heart isn’t in it. Why should it be? Sex is transactional. It isn’t simple “I’ll do this for you if you do that for me.” It’s a complex dance that involves emotional and physical affection, with the cherry on top being the orgasm.

Very often, the arousal preceding orgasm is the most gratifying part of sex. When both partners are aroused, the excitement builds into a crescendo of orgasmic sex. In a male chastity game, the arousal is usually separated by time. The building excitement for the man is the denial-with-teasing. It’s a fun kind of frustration that prolongs arousal over days, weeks, even months. His partner gets sexual attention when she desires. His frustration pleasantly increases when he brings her to orgasm after orgasm while he is helpless to ejaculate.

For people who enjoy it, like me, this is very hot. Our challenge is that I’m the only one who wants sexual activity. Mrs. Lion isn’t interested. She works hard to provide me with sex. I appreciate her efforts. There is a problem with this. Sex for me occurs after we get into bed. At some point after her shower, she will snuggle and tease me. That’s not the problem. This is episodic. It is a single event that happens every few days. There is nothing in between.

If both of us wanted sex, there would be sexual touching, kissing, and even fucking at odd times. Sex would be integrated into our lives. Now, it is an event, a chore, that Mrs. Lion performs when she thinks I want sex. She makes me wait for an orgasm, and most of the sex sessions end in me being aroused and unsatisfied. That little window between 9 and 9:15 is when I’m aroused.

I can’t complain. It’s fun, and I look forward to it. But it isn’t sex in the fuller sense of the word. Sex is a way of showing love. I don’t think it is a service delivered after dinner, and the chores are done. If Mrs. Lion enjoyed arousal, there would be many times when we are together when we would turn one another on. It’s a fun way to show affection.

We rarely kiss or hug. Mrs. Lion only touches my penis during those sessions. It isn’t that we don’t love one another. We do. We love each other more than anything in the world.  Affection and arousal have faded away. I miss the kissing and touching. One reason it’s hard for me to reliably get aroused during my sex sessions is the isolation I feel. I’m naked almost always, yet Mrs. Lion never touches my cock unless it is a sex session.

It makes me feel that sex is a chore for her. She used to love getting me hard. We used to kiss all the time sexually. Sex was something we shared. We loved it. It was an important way that we connected. It’s true that I can’t get hard in an instant. But I can respond to attention. I’m sad that I can’t make Mrs. Lion wet at odd times during the day. I’m sadder that even though she provides me with sexual service, it feels more like a service than a joy.

I still respond and will eventually ejaculate. I no longer anticipate those moments. I’m happy that she cares enough, and I would get grumpy if she ignored me. It just isn’t the same. In a way, it’s a little like getting socks for your birthday. You need them, and they feel great to wear, but they aren’t exciting. I think that’s why it’s hard for me to get very aroused and reach the edge. Teasing is much more fun if it is stretched out over hours instead of a few minutes.

This might be too much to ask. I always had trouble initiating sex. Now that I’m in a situation where initiation is out of place, I have to rely on Mrs. Lion to initiate stimulating me. She has always had trouble with this. It’s a perfect storm. I have no idea how to fix this. I think we need to work this out.

Mrs. Lion’s spanking has evolved. My bottom on the left was after a 2020 spanking. The right is one this year.

I know that some of our readers think that our disciplinary relationship is cruel and that Mrs. Lion’s spankings are too severe. It might appear that way to someone who started reading our blog in the recent past. That’s the trouble with an online journal. I think it might be helpful to provide a little history about how we started practicing domestic discipline.

The genesis was shortly after I met Mrs. Lion. I told her that I like BDSM in general and spanking in particular. She reluctantly agreed to give it a try. Mrs. Lion is amazing about being willing to try new things. My first spanking was a short series of little taps that I barely felt. Over the years, she learned to give me a spanking that made me yelp. She did this in the context of a BDSM scene. It was very hot.

A few years ago, I suggested that Mrs. Lion could spank me for breaking the rules. After some thought, she gave me a few simple rules that I was sure to break frequently. The idea was for us to get practice with rules and punishments. We’ve kept it up. Over the years, she’s experimented with spanking techniques and tools. We’ve both learned that for a spanking to be effective, it has to be severe and last for at least ten minutes. The DWC suggests ten minutes for the first offense and five minutes added on for additional offenses. Mrs. Lion has adopted this system. She spanks me well past when the timer goes off.

The spanking leaves marks on me that last for several days. I’ve published pictures that Mrs. Lion took right after spanking me. These images have drawn some strong negative comments that accuse her of abusing me. I’m not abused. I’m disciplined. No, that isn’t splitting hairs. I consent to be punished by my lioness. I recognize that I don’t like or want to be punished, but the results improve our marriage. Mrs. Lion has never injured me. Spanking is a safe way of inflicting meaningful pain. That’s why it is the world’s most popular punishment.

I decided to write this post because the spanking I received on Wednesday night created a question from Mrs. Lion. She had just yelled at the dog and put her in her crate. Her swats were harder than usual. At one point, I was close to my safeword. I told her that she was hitting too hard. She backed off a little and then when back to the original intensity. It was a fifteen-minute spanking, and I hated every second of it. She stopped just a minute short of the full fifteen.

I was fine after the spanking. When the adrenaline wore off, my bottom hurt. Yes, it was supposed to. I felt it when I lay on my side to go to sleep. In an email on Thursday, she wrote, “Do you really think I was hitting too hard last night?”

I thought about that for a while. I wrote back, “Well, it was hard to take. Perhaps a little more warmup or practice?”

On further reflection, I realized that it wasn’t too hard at all. It was supposed to be hard to take. Mrs. Lion just pushed my limit a little. She should hit me that hard with less warmup. She was right. Wednesday night was a true punishment spanking. I reacted the way I should. I’m not supposed to decide how hard she should hit. She did exactly the right thing. I imagine that future spankings will be equally unpleasant. After all, I’m not supposed to like them.

I can’t believe it! I did it again. I should say that I didn’t do it again. I forgot to set up the coffee pot for yesterday’s breakfast. It’s a small thing, but it earns me a big spanking when I fail to do it. This is the one offense guaranteed to earn a spanking. Mrs. Lion is consistent when it comes to beating me for not setting up the coffee pot. I have a fifteen-minute spanking coming (ten minutes “just because” and five extra minutes for the coffee pot). That’s not entirely accurate. I will be spanked for a minimum of fifteen minutes. Usually, my spankings go into long overtime.

Before we started DD or male chastity, I read a lot of blogs about the subject of male discipline. The more credible ones agreed that men tend to “learn” and correct bad behavior for about a month before they need “reminding.” I was skeptical of this idea. It seemed to me that I would learn my lesson and not repeat the bad behavior. How hard could that be? It turns out I am no better than the men written about in those blogs. It’s been about four weeks since I forgot to set up the coffee pot. I suppose I should try to keep track and see how long it is before I need “reminding” again.

Mrs. Lion seems perfectly happy offering me her helpful spankings in this case. As she said many times, she has no real trouble spanking me. Yet, I can count on one hand the number of spankings I’ve received for annoying her. I know that I annoy her far more often than I forget to make coffee. We’ve discussed this many times. Mrs. Lion doesn’t have much insight to offer on why my bottom remains pristine after I piss her off. It’s not that I’m looking for more spanking. I’m looking for consistent help with my communication style.

This is a big deal to me because I have learned that when a consistent spanking follows an offense, my need to avoid repeating it becomes a high priority. When Mrs. Lion excuses the behavior, I do note that I should do better, but there is no sense of urgency. It’s a little embarrassing to admit that an admonition accompanied by a spanking is far more memorable than a verbal growl.

Zero-tolerance truly works for me. I have a strong desire to do the right thing for my lioness. I wish I could explain why I need a bruised bottom to reinforce this desire. Based on my behavior, I clearly do. Mrs. Lion has a problem enforcing these more subjective requirements. Based on our experiences, I think it’s important for her to “just do it.” As we learned when we first began operating spanking to our relationship, we both need practice to succeed. I recognize that I will get a sore bottom much more often if we do. I think it’s worth it—the concept of “just because” spanking needs to be extended into more areas of our lives.

Julie suggested spanking me when I have strongly pleasurable experiences that might distract me from remembering who is in charge. Which experiences need these reminders spankings have to be determined. Mrs. Lion and I agree that accidental orgasms deserve recognition with her paddle. We also agree that failure to reach the edge is also a spankable offense. I’m sure more reasons will come up over time.

Meanwhile, I managed to earn at least 10 minutes of paddling. You can be sure that I won’t forget the coffee pot for a while. I hope it will be a long while.

Lion's tied balls
One of Mrs. Lion’s favorites. She loves to tie my balls tightly and separated.

Six days since my last orgasm isn’t a very long time. It is when I begin seriously missing sex. In the past, at around the one-week mark I am fairly easy to edge. Then, for no apparent reason, I have trouble getting close after ten days. If Mrs. Lion follows through with our new policy of spanking me when I can’t get to the edge, I’m in for a sore bottom pretty soon.

No doubt about it, I’m horny. The lion weather is very tropical today. I’m writing this post on my laptop (on the bed) because my office is still off limits. Stanley Steemer came back for a second (free) try at getting the dog pee smell out of the carpet. I hope it worked. Mrs. Lion will vacuum when she comes home from work. I hope the smell will be gone.

Our doggy adventures continue. After I booted the laptop, she jumped up and stole my mouse.Being a good retriever, she brought it back–after she killed it. I don’t do well with touch pads. It’s an adventure. We are both getting very frustrated with our puppy. It’s a good thing that she’s so cute.

I just realized that today is TIESday. I wonder if I will be spread-eagle on the bed. If I am tied face up, I’m pretty sure that Mrs. Lion will want to torture my balls. My cock and balls are her favorite torture targets. I’m sure there will be a picture for you if she decides to do it.

Perhaps Mrs. Lion will work on my ability to reach the edge with her hand. Her oil massage after she waxed me, was very exciting.It didn’t last very long, but was truly excellent while it lasted. Don’t get me wrong. I’m perfectly happy with oral attention. Mrs. Lion is magical with her mouth. I can’t wait to feel it again!