As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday, she finally gave me the spanking I was owed. She did an excellent job reporting it. I didn’t end up with any bruises. It was painful and unpleasant. I know, I know, that’s the idea. I got the message loud and clear. Mrs. Lion got a comment to an earlier post from Lisa Stone,

“Everything revolves around Lion’s ass in one way or another.

That sounds odd at first glance, but it’s essentially true. Our activities used to center around my penis. It was all about orgasm denial, male chastity hardware, and CBT. Over time the focus seems to have moved to my ass. It is the principal conduit for Mrs. Lion to express her displeasure. BDSM activities involve anal training. I suppose that in terms of time spent on my body, the penis still wins out.  In terms of intensity, my ass is clearly the winner.

Without planning it, we have a sort of heads-you-win-tails-you-lose process. It’s fun and games when I am on my back and discomfort and retribution when my ass is in the air. I don’t think we ever considered this before; at least I haven’t. It’s actually very sensible. There’s one inconsistency: Mrs. Lion will sexually stimulate me on nights that I am spanked. I get both the ass pain and the penis fun on the same nights. As Mrs. Lion wrote, I have a bit of trouble processing the punishment and getting ready for sex. She’s right. I think it might be better to restrict activities to one side of me or the other, at least when punishment is involved.

Speaking of punishment, I know many people don’t understand why either of us would want domestic discipline. Even though I wanted it, and we did it, I hesitated using that label. I called it Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). It was a way of avoiding the harsher sounding label of domestic discipline. I finally realized that it was silly to avoid it.

Mrs. Lion still struggles with punishing me for more than a few minimal rules she set up for me a long time ago. I’m not saying I don’t deserve to be punished if I forget a chore. I do. There are almost certainly other, more serious offenses that go unpunished. She hesitates to include them.

For my part, I’ve come to see her willingness to discipline me as a sign of her love. Maybe our reader put her finger on a more profound truth than she imagined. Maybe my ass is a very significant conduit for feeling Mrs. Lion’s love.

lion's paddle

We had a quiet Sunday. I did more writing. I’m working on my second book in the Les Peters series. Click here for a free preview of the first one, Fan Mail. If you’ve read it, please leave a review on Amazon. Anyway, Mrs. Lion didn’t spank me. I know it’s coming when she gets around to it. I know why I’m getting it. Believe me. I’ve been very careful to get the coffeepot set up before morning. In a way, the threat of a spanking made me more careful. However, if Mrs. Lion doesn’t eventually punish me, I could lose some fear of retribution.

In all of the time we have had a disciplinary relationship, I haven’t purposely broken a rule to get spanked. That’s cheating as far as I’m concerned. Within the last few months, I haven’t earned more than a handful of spankings. That’s good news in the sense that Mrs. Lion is satisfied with my behavior. It’s bad news because a certain amount of spanking is sexually good for me. It’s probably good for me in other ways as well.

I think it’s interesting that Mrs. Lion and I write very differently about discipline. You would expect us to have different perspectives. We agree that it is necessary and that spanking is the preferred method of administering it. Beyond that, we seem to be on different planets. If we had our own blog and didn’t reveal our connection, I doubt you would realize that we are together.

I see punishment as a necessary part of our marriage. It’s a physical connection that empowers Mrs. Lion and helps me improve. I also find it sexually arousing to think about being spanked. Mrs. Lion writes about spanking as something she does because I want it. I don’t remember her saying that it has value beyond being something I want.

She is reluctant to discuss this subject in any depth. She shares descriptions of what she does and what I did to earn it.  Likely, it isn’t particularly important to her. It doesn’t have to be. It is important to me. It could be that punishing me isn’t of great value to her, and that’s why we have no new rules. There’s nothing I can do about that. Based on our experience, more disciplinary activity would be good for us both.

It’s Sunday afternoon. Yesterday (Saturday), Mrs. Lion put my new treadmill together. It was a difficult job that took her over an hour. I need the treadmill to keep my legs in shape. By evening, she was not feeling able to punish me. I’m still owed a spanking for not setting up the coffee pot and for pissing her off. Because she delays punishing me doesn’t mean that my spanking will be any milder. If anything, it will be more severe since she is waiting until she feels ready to do a good job.

This delay is one way that real life intrudes. Ideally, I would be punished as soon as I commit an offense. However, the fact that my spanking is delayed has little effect on its value. If Mrs. Lion forgets to punish me, it will send the message that I can get away with infractions now and then. We have learned that consistency is critical. A delayed spanking works because I knew from the moment Mrs. Lion told me that I was in trouble that I would get a sore bottom. I didn’t need it to happen then and there. I knew what was coming when Mrs. Lion decided to get around to it. That knowledge is almost as powerful as being spanked on the spot.

In rare cases, I may commit two offenses before being punished for the first. This happened last week. I forgot to set up the coffeepot, and I annoyed her. She told me I would get one spanking. I don’t remember why, but she decided that was the way she wanted to handle it. Over the years, we’ve written and discussed dealing with multiple offenses. One idea was to make the spanking more severe. That never worked. The other idea that I had was to do the punishments on successive days.  A spanking on Sunday for the coffeepot and one on Monday for annoying my lioness. She hasn’t taken a position on this. My vote, which doesn’t count, is successive days.

I’ve learned that from an educational perspective, I get the point best when things are simple. A one-offense-one-spanking system is most logical to me. Mrs. Lion hasn’t decided whether she likes this idea. In the meantime, I’m owed a spanking, which she promised to give me today. Whether I get another tomorrow is up to her.

We started this blog several weeks after Mrs. Lion agreed to lock my penis in a chastity device. That was just about seven years ago. Our blogiversary is on February 7. A lot of similar blogs started at this time of  year. It has to be more than a coincidence. Maybe the cold winter weather has something to do with it–indoor sport, you know. I was very lucky. Mrs. Lion agreed to play.

Other guys aren’t this lucky. Some don’t have partners and still want to experience being made to wait for a chance to ejaculate. Other, married guys may not feel able to ask their partners to play. When we started out, the Web was filled with suggested ways to ask a wife to lock up her husband. I’m sure you can search out these form letters and scripts. I think most of us tend to over complicate things and that’s what causes problems with partners.

I doubt that any man wakes up one morning and decides, “I want my wife to lock me in a male chastity device.” Nope, it doesn’t happen that way. Lots of reading and fantasizing lead up to asking her to do it. That’s normal and fine. Male chastity fantasies are hot to the men who enjoy them. They are very unlikely to turn on a woman. Let’s look at it from her side.

How to ask your partner to lock your cock

First thing, male chastity is a game. It isn’t a lifestyle or religion. It’s a sexual game. This is a key point. If you have any chance at all of convincing your partner to lock your cock, you need to be very clear about exactly what she is expected to do. I know, the fantasies have her portrayed as a cruel mistress who will keep you locked and horny. She will make you do housework and wear panties. She expects you to give her endless oral orgasms as a way to convince her to unlock  you and jerk  you off.

Those are hot fantasies. They don’t work in real life, at least when  you start out. In order to play the male chastity game with you, she has to love you enough to go to the extra trouble the game requires. That means she isn’t a man-hating bitch who wants to see you suffer. Any suggestion that is how you want her to act will almost certainly doom your efforts.

If you suggest that she will get more orgasms if she locks you up, she may well feel hurt and insulted. You are her partner. It’s  your pleasure to give her orgasms. You don’t need to be blackmailed into getting her off, right? If you do, Male chastity is the last thing you need.

Instead, have a much easier conversation with her. Don’t write an email or letter. Talk with her face to face. The first thing to say is that you discovered something that turns you on. She will probably want to know what it is. Tell her it is a sort of game where she decides when you get an orgasm. That may puzzle her. Tell her that it’s very hot for  you to be teased and not be allowed to come. You love the idea of being kept horny for days (Yes, days, not months!).

That sounds pretty harmless to most women. You can also tell her about male chastity devices that assure you won’t jerk off when she isn’t around. When I said that to Mrs. Lion, she was surprised I masturbated. She told me that she didn’t want me to do that. I was amazed she didn’t know I did it and since I was telling her I wanted her to control my orgasms, I could hardly argue with being prohibited from jerking off.

She seemed a little amused about locking me in a male chastity device, and agreed to do it. Later, I learned that she figured I would want out after a short time. Before putting the male chastity device on me, she told me to jerk off one last time. She said she wanted to watch and learn how I do it. I did and then she locked me up.

In the beginning that was pretty much all. She did agree to unlock me and tease me at least every other day. She experimented with different times between orgasms. At first, she jerked me off every day. That was too much for me. Then, she tried different times. She still varies my wait times. We tried other things too. I’ll write about them in a future post.

The key to getting yourself locked into a male chastity device is to make the process as easy as possible for your partner. All  you really need her to do is to keep the key and unlock you now and then for a chance to ejaculate.  Easy peasy!