Back in March 2021, I wrote “True Orgasm Control” about my self-discovery that orgasm control (male chastity) isn’t about making the male horny and frustrating him. It’s about giving someone else the ability to decide when he gets to orgasm. Most of the guys who want to be locked in a chastity device or get orgasm control without the hardware assume it’s about having to suffer through long periods of abstinence before finally getting release.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. With or without hardware, the game is about control, not sex. Yes, from my perspective, it’s all about sex. That doesn’t mean it is. Sex is the instrument of control. Since most of us consider sexual release to be a private activity that we like to do when we are horny, we are challenged when our partner takes control.

This came to mind when one of my Twitter followers happened to read the True Orgasm Control post and wanted to inform me that she saw a difference between male chastity and orgasm control. I  disagreed because trying to split pubic hairs about terminology is an Internet disease. To illustrate her point, she linked to a story (“Control“). It’s a bit of porn fiction about a newcomer to orgasm control being told to jerk off in a restaurant men’s room. The point, I assume, was that orgasm control has less to do with restricting orgasms than it does with controlling when and where the male has one.

I agree. Mrs. Lion has never been particularly concerned with how long I had to wait between orgasms. She makes me come when she feels the time is right. She has never changed locations. I always get off in our bedroom or on our massage tables. I don’t get to decide when. She is sometimes too much a creature of habit. Other than when she waxes me, I can’t remember the last time anything sexual happened before dinner.

Male chastity doesn’t require hardware. I learned that long-term male chastity device wearing trained me not to jerk off. I’ve been conditioned away from that behavior. It isn’t because I will get punished if I masturbate. I no longer see it as a sexual outlet for me. I haven’t masturbated in nine years. Mrs. Lion is my only source of release.

Because this has been going on for so many years, neither of us considers this arrangement unusual. It’s the way things are. I’m happy with it and I will continue to have my orgasms when and where my lioness wants.

I like happy endings–both kinds. I’m a sucker for romcoms. What can I say? It’s just the way I’m wired. You might wonder what I consider a non-movie happy ending. Obviously, an orgasm is one kind. Another is a teasing session that ends in edging. Sometimes I prefer the orgasm variety. Often, edging is more fun. I like activity; sexual activity.

If you are a new reader, you may think that sounds very selfish of me. I didn’t mention happy endings for my lioness. She isn’t interested in them. That’s too bad because I love giving them to her. Back in the day, we had a lot of fun. I miss those times. Maybe that’s why sex isn’t as easy to get excited about. I love it when Mrs. Lion arouses me. I always start off feeling guilty that I’m being selfish.

Sex is like eating. If you aren’t hungry, it isn’t much fun. Eating to stay alive isn’t the same as savoring new dishes. After enough time with no sex goes by, I get hungry. I suppose that is when I would jerk off. I can’t do that. So I get frustrated and then lose interest. It’s usually pretty easy to get me interested again once Mrs. Lion gets my attention. That isn’t always easy.

More often than not, thinking about sex makes me sad. It’s like looking into the window of a good restaurant without having enough money to eat there. I don’t want to be unfair in the way I’m talking about this. I think Mrs. Lion assumes that because I’m the one who wants sex, I’m going to be responsive right away. She doesn’t seem to understand why I don’t want to ask her to do something for me.

It’s hard enough to accept when she initiates. I know that there is nothing in it for her. I’m not selfish by nature. If she could find a way to enjoy doing BDSM or sexual things to me, I would feel a lot better. Even pretending to have a good time would work. I absolutely hate to be a chore. That’s why more often than not if Mrs. Lion asks if I want to play, I say no.

In the late 1800s, male chastity devices were invented and put into use. At that time, it was believed that masturbation caused feeble-mindedness and insanity. Male asylum inmates were locked into these devices. Many parents also put their teenage boys in them as well. The intention was always to prevent male masturbation. Very few females masturbated.

Modern male chastity is initiated by men as a kind of sex game. Yes, I know that many guys like to imagine it is a form of involuntary submission. It isn’t. We consent to be locked into a chastity device. From the male perspective, male chastity is a way to delay sexual release. It’s exciting to be forced to wait for orgasms. Many women don’t understand this fascination. We males have always enjoyed orgasms on demand. Masturbation is an accepted male activity.

That’s why the idea of controlled release is so exciting. After decades of jerking off anytime we want, we find ourselves locked into a device that won’t even let us get hard. This can be intensely exciting. If our partners play along and tease us, being locked up becomes even more exciting. We are strongly incented to keep up the game.

All this is innocent fun. Right? Well, yes up to a point. While our male minds are focused on our next release, we are also changing. This change takes time, maybe a couple of years. But if we are kept locked in a male chastity device full time, except when our partners want to tease us or let us ejaculate, we will “forget” how to masturbate.

That’s what happened to me. Mrs. Lion kept me locked in my male chastity device full-time. She unlocked me every day or two for some teasing or an orgasm. Usually, she would jerk me off. I was never allowed to do it myself. When the session was done, the male chastity device was locked on again. After a while, this became routine. It was just the way things were with us.

Occasionally, she let me run around wild. That is, with no device locked on my penis. I loved how it felt but never tried to jerk off. I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but at some point, I stopped wanting to jerk off. I’m wild most of the time now. It doesn’t matter. I lost interest in masturbating. I sometimes play with my penis and make it hard. That’s as far as I go. It isn’t because I’ll be spanked if I jerk off. It’s because I just don’t want to do it. When we first started playing with male chastity, this never occurred to either of us. Since Mrs. Lion hates the idea of me masturbating, the change is very welcome.

Mrs. Lion is busy looking for new work. I’m writing away. Our farm is still a little disappointing. So far, our strawberries don’t seem too happy. A couple of weeks ago, we changed what we feed them. It’s hard to tell, but I don’t know that we are having a lot of success. Mrs. Lion and I are always in unexplored territory. We had to discover how to manage domestic discipline. We both came from spanking-free childhoods. It took a long time to get it right.

We did a lot better with male chastity. After a few months of adjustment, Mrs. Lion has been in full control of my orgasms for almost nine years. I haven’t masturbated for that entire time. I doubt I ever will again. I hope we will do as well with our crops as we have done with discipline and sex.

There’s a real benefit to making these changes. The biggest is that the two primary causes of marital conflict have been resolved by agreement. Sex is never a cause for anger or resentment. Even when Mrs. Lion lost interest in sex for herself, our orgasm control (for me) habit carries us through without conflict. I’m sure there are times that she may regret training me not to masturbate. All in all, we have fun.

Our domestic discipline prevents any buildup of resentment. I know that this practice is the most controversial. It requires a lot of trust and love. My lioness isn’t a cruel dominatrix who delights in making me suffer. She spanks me when I break an explicit rule or get on her nerves. Otherwise, I’m free to be king of the jungle. I just have to watch my step. It’s our form of checks and balances. It works. We have a happy marriage.