The other night I was thinking back to when I first met my lioness. From the very start, I felt that she was special. No, it wasn’t that we had anal sex on the first date, though that was wonderful. Something else was there that touched me deep inside. It took me a while to realize just what it was.

Before I met Mrs. Lion I was in a nearly decade-long relationship with a woman who saw herself as a slave. She needed to feel that she was owned. That sort of thing is fun as a BDSM scene, but gets very difficult when it becomes a lifestyle. I wasn’t obsessed with the need to own a woman, but she was cute and sweet. I learned to love her.

Because she needed to feel possessed so strongly, she referred to any property we had as “Yours.” It was your dog, your house, etc. I accepted it as part of the way she was wired. I won’t go into detail about the rest of the arrangement. I will say that we worked out a way to sustain the relationship for almost ten years.

When we broke up, I searched for some sexy fun. I went to an online dating site. That’s where I found Mrs. Lion. Yes, I found my lioness on the Internet. Her picture was a closeup of her face. She was smiling. It was a wonderful smile, and as soon as I saw it, I knew that I had to try to meet her. Luckily, she didn’t live a million miles away. She lived about an hour and a half from my house. We met halfway at a motel. The rest is history.

Right from the start, after we finished fucking, I felt she was different. It wasn’t just her smile. When she spoke to me, she always used the first person plural. Everything was “we” and “us.” There was no “yours” and “mine.” I don’t think she was consciously aware of it, but even though we had spent less than an hour together, she referred to us as a unit.

I don’t know if, way back then, she felt a strong connection, but her language certainly signaled one. Those two small pronouns, “us” and “we,” moved me. They did. At first, it felt a little scary. Was I being trapped? By the time I got home from our first meeting, I felt the effects of her inclusion warming my heart. Her words didn’t trap me; they shared with me.

We had sex. We made plans. We shared our feelings and our bodies. That pronoun proved we were starting to share our lives. How many first dates are full of so much inclusion? She didn’t just give me her body. She shared much more. I wonder if she realizes how profoundly she affected me that day in August twenty years ago.

If you read Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday (“Trading Up For a Full Punishment“), you learned that Mrs. Lion caught me interrupting her when she was talking about lunch. That means instead of my rather-mild five-minute punishment day spanking, I’ll be getting a full ten minutes of punishment (No, my tenses aren’t confused. I’m writing this on Thursday afternoon.). This will be my first in a month. For the record, just because I’m writing about it doesn’t mean I’m happy to be getting punished. I’m not.

I have no way to know how many men are spanked by their wives. The only information I get is by reading blogs and forums. The guys who write and comment on them seem to get pleasure from endlessly discussing their behavior and how it motivated their wives to spank them. Many discussions center around things like other people witnessing their spankings, finding out that they get spanked, etc.

They almost never refer to being punished, only spanked. Every so often a guy will complain that his wife could use other forms of punishment. Those discussions are rare. Mrs. Lion always refers to punishing me. She will say that she will spank me as my punishment.

It seems that from the perspective of the guys writing about being spanked, the key is the humiliation of submitting to the spanking. Not the actual paddling. That suggests the sexual component to domestic discipline is stronger than most of us want to admit.

Our partners may already know about the strong sexual connection. I know that Mrs. Lion understands it. Some may believe that they are actually rewarding us with a spanking if it provides sexual arousal. Based on my experience and what I’ve read, the sexual component is irrelevant to the disciplinary benefits a spanking provides.

I haven’t found a single husband in domestic discipline who doesn’t get turned on by the idea of being spanked. It’s this sexual need that drives us to ask our wives to spank us. When Mrs. Lion began punishing me, I had an erection when she started. I don’t anymore, but I still find thinking about being spanked arousing. As one woman wrote, the arousal makes her husband meekly get into position for a spanking. It’s the bait that draws us into the trap.

Once our wives learn that they aren’t spanking us to please us, the beatings become a lot more painful. Ironically, the fantasy is to have a wife who mercilessly spanks for any infraction. Once our wives make that fantasy come to life, it’s too late to back down. When Mrs. Lion punishes me, she wants it to hurt. If she straps me down, I know that she isn’t going to worry about me rearing up. I’m going to feel her wrath for at least two days after she’s beaten me.

What’s weird is that I like that idea. Sitting at my desk about an hour away from that beating, the thought turns me on. When I’m riding the spanking bench, I’m not going to feel so good about it. It’s a complex set of emotions. A smart wife understands how to use this to help her husband improve.

A strict wife can’t cure serious behavioral problems. Drinking and drugs can’t be spanked away. Less serious behavioral issues respond surprisingly well to the application of a paddle. When we started, neither of us had any serious belief that I would make real changes as a result of Mrs. Lion spanking me. We were wrong. It didn’t matter that I found the idea of spanking arousing. It had nothing to do with whether or not I was hard when she started. I can honestly say that without any conscious effort on my part, I learned to avoid doing the things that earned me a spanking.

I’m still surprised by this. If Mrs. Lion consistently punishes me for something, I will change. The changes are happening below my consciousness. I can’t explain it. I change. OK, the change isn’t usually permanent. I will slip once in a while. If Mrs. Lion spanks me every time I do, the change becomes more permanent. It seems crazy, but domestic discipline works.

Think I’ll learn not to interrupt Mrs. Lion?

I had a lot of fun on Tuesday. Mrs.Lion spanked me for five minutes. She was gentle, so it felt more like a play spanking. That was followed by a nice handjob. Mrs. Lion used light mineral oil to lube me up. It was big fun.  It feels like it’s been a long time since we’ve been spontaneous in our touching and snuggling. I blame our bed(s) for this. When we had a regular king-sized bed, it was very easy to touch in one way or another without any fuss or bother. Our current split-king–two xl singles next to one another–puts a kind of valley between us and makes it hard for us to congregate in the middle of the bed.

As you can see in the image, there is a gap between the mattresses. Even if we adjust them so they are at the same angle, it’s difficult to snuggle. We like the ability to adjust the beds. I generally stay up later than Mrs. Lion and keep my bed up so I can watch TV while she flattens hers to go to sleep. This wouldn’t be possible on a single mattress.

There are products that claim to “fill” the gap. I’m not sure that’s the answer. We have separate bottom sheets and a king-sized top sheet and comforter. Assuming there is a way to update the bed, it will cost a lot. Sleep Number mattresses are in the $2,000 range. Unless I sell a book, we probably can’t afford to do it, even if it is possible.

There’s another issue that has nothing to do with the bed. I watch TV and Mrs. Lion spends her entire evening with her head in her iPad. It’s impossible to snuggle while on Facebook or playing a game. Granted, the TV shows don’t require full attention, but being present with me isn’t possible as long as the iPad is king. This has been going on a very long time. Mrs. Lion is addicted to Facebook and iPad games. It may not seem like a problem, but the screen is a major distraction. By definition, it’s solitary. TV may be sort of mind-numbing, but it is a shared experience.

It would be unfair for me to demand that she abandon her Facebook habit. Maybe she can limit her screen time, so she is available for at least part of the evening. I don’t think she realizes what a barrier that iPad is. I hope we can work out a better way to be together.

Time got away from us last night. I had a 2 PM doctor’s appointment, and we got home at 3:30. Mrs. Lion didn’t have to work but had some household stuff to do. She wasn’t ready to do anything sexual until much later in the evening. By then, I was falling asleep. I seem to snooze about an hour after dinner. She played with my penis under the covers, and I fell asleep while she was doing it. Oh well. She plans to deliver my Monday Punishment Day spanking today (Tuesday). I’m not sure if she has any plans for sex.

I’m hoping that we can talk more about plans and posts. When I ask if Mrs. Lion has read my post, she’ll just say yes or no. If she’s read it, she doesn’t want to discuss what I wrote. The best I can get if I probe is, “I’ll try.”

That’s not too useful since it doesn’t outline what she wants to try. In the old days, when she worked away from home, we would have discussions via email. Now that she’s only a few feet away, the conversations have stopped. I think this is hurting us. From my side, there is no anticipation, no warmup for the actual events. I miss that a lot.

techy blog stuff

Most bloggers use turnkey services to create and maintain their sites. WordPress.com and Blogger.com are the two largest providers. They offer free and paid blog services. They are good starting points. Blogger is owned by Google and a few years ago, threatened to close any sexually-oriented sites. They changed their minds before doing it. WordPress.com shuts down many sexually-oriented blogs. When I used WordPress.com, they didn’t shut me down, but the cost of running my site on their servers was very expensive.

Over time, I moved to several service providers. As I got used to the technology, I was comfortable taking on the system admin role that many turnkey providers offer. A couple of years ago, I decided to host my site on a virtual computer in the cloud.

AWS is Amazon’s cloud service. It is the friendliest and least expensive cloud solution for blogging. They offer a service called Lightsail. It’s a very simple (and cheap) virtual server. When your buy it, you can select WordPress and the cloud creates your server with WordPress and other necessary programs installed and running. You need to learn a little about running a Linux server. Amazon provides excellent step-by-step instructions on how to do everything you need.

Amazon does not provide the sort of tech support needed to manage your blog. Fortunately, some Google searches will yield easy-to-understand instructions on how to do anything you want. It was scary at first, but I managed to get pretty good at it.

Once I had a smooth-running blog, I looked for ways to optimize things. I love to tinker. One thing I actually needed to do was find a way to manage traffic. My cloud server is monitored for CPU usage. If it uses too much, the server will be slowed to a horrible crawl. Heavy visitor traffic can cause that.

Amazon provides a free solution for people like me. It’s called Cloudfront. It’s a content delivery network. It has servers all over the world. When a user requests a page, the request goes to Cloudfront instead of my server. If Cloudfront has retrieved the page before, it serves it without bothering my server. That means I don’t need to pay for a bigger cloud server if a lot of people come to our site. It also speeds up delivery of our pages. That’s important. Every page reaches our readers in two seconds or less.

Cloudfront is free for the first Terabyte of data it sends to users. That’s 1,000 Gigabytes. We are in no danger of needing that much service. Cloudfront also adds security to our website.

The biggest problem that I’ve had over the years when moving this site is loss of images. The software I use to migrate the site never gets all of the images moved. I hate that. You will find missing images from some of our older posts. I decided that I needed a better way to manage our media files. I just added a plugin (offload media) that moves my image files to Amazon S3 storage which is a separate file system. I set it up so that Cloudfront serves the images. If you see the URL of our media, it is media.malechastityjournal.com. Doing this was complicated and took me days of work and emails to the plugin’s support team. If you want to try it, I can offer a few tips. Beware! This takes quite a bit of technical expertise.

We’ve done other things to make our site more efficient. At this point, we can handle a lot more traffic without upgrading. A lot of people forget that websites are complex computer programs. A lot of progress has been made to hide the technology from users, but the price of hiding it is the loss of design freedom and optimizing the experience for users. I enjoy finding ways to improve our website.

a chastity story from OpenGPT

I gave openGPT a try. Here is a chastity story it wrote with only a couple of suggestions from me.Wow!

Judy was a loving wife, but her husband’s infidelity had been tearing her apart for months. She couldn’t understand how he could cheat on her, and she didn’t know what to do to stop him.

One day, while her husband was at work, Judy decided to take matters into her own hands. She began to investigate her husband’s behavior, looking for clues as to why he might be cheating.

She looked through his phone, checked his emails, and even followed him when he said he was going to work. But no matter what she did, she couldn’t find any evidence of his infidelity.

Feeling defeated, Judy decided to confront her husband. She waited until he came home from work and sat him down for a talk.

“I know you’ve been cheating on me,” she said, her voice trembling.

Her husband’s face turned pale. “What are you talking about?” he stammered.

“I’ve been following you, checking your emails, and looking through your phone. I can’t find any evidence, but I know you’re cheating on me.”

Her husband sighed and looked down at his feet. “I’m sorry, Judy. You’re right. I have been cheating on you. But I promise, it’s over now. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it right.”

Judy was determined to stop her husband’s infidelity once and for all. As she sat across from him at the table, she offered him an ultimatum: “I can’t continue to live like this, not knowing if you’re cheating on me or not. I want you to wear a male chastity device. It’s a device that physically prevents you from engaging in sexual activity without my permission. If you don’t agree to wear it, I will have to leave you.”

Her husband was taken aback by her proposal. He didn’t know how to react. He tried to argue with her, but Judy was firm in her decision. She had reached her breaking point and couldn’t continue living in uncertainty and pain.

Judy’s husband was hesitant about the idea of wearing a male chastity device. He felt it was too restrictive and would limit his freedom. However, he was willing to consider it if Judy was willing to compromise. He proposed that if he were to wear the device, she would have to agree to unlock him once a week for them to have consensual sexual intercourse.

Judy was taken aback by his proposal, she didn’t want to compromise on her ultimatum, but she also didn’t want to lose him. She thought about it for a moment and realized that a once a week release could be a good compromise. It would give her peace of mind knowing that he couldn’t cheat on her, while also allowing them to maintain a healthy sexual relationship.

With this compromise in mind, they both agreed to the arrangement and went ahead to purchase the device. Her husband wore the device as promised, and Judy unlocked him once a week for their sexual encounter

Finally, he reluctantly agreed to wear the device, with the condition that they would both seek counseling and work on rebuilding their relationship.

Judy agreed and they both went to counseling together. It was a difficult process, but it helped them both understand the root causes of his infidelity and how to prevent it from happening again.

Over time, they were able to rebuild their trust and their relationship became stronger than ever. The device served as a constant reminder of their commitment to each other, and it helped them both stay faithful.