Lion is, again, laying in the supplies for the new antenna. Obviously, it would have been better to have done it right the first time, but live and learn. We rarely do anything right the first time. Look how long it took us to figure out punishment spankings. And some people think we’re still doing it wrong.

Speaking of punishment, it’s been a long time since I’ve swatted Lion’s butt. It’s not that he hasn’t done anything wrong. I’m sure he has. I just haven’t enforced the rules. I’ve been stressed lately between work and needing to do everything around here. If I weren’t so stressed, it might not be such a big deal to do Lion’s ham radio license. I just feel like I have a finite amount of things I can care about, and that’s not one of them.

On the plus side, Lion got his haircut, I vacuumed, all but one load of laundry made it out of the dryer and got folded, and I grilled some brats for a holiday cheat dinner. Today, I’m achy and I think the potato chips and possibly the bread are to blame. But it was nice to have “real” food.

In a few minutes, we’re heading out for a doctor’s appointment for Lion, and then we’re off to get another vial of boner juice. It’s new and improved boner juice. It’s Quadmix, which, if you can decipher Latin, means there are four drugs instead of three. We’ll give it a try when we get home. My fingers are crossed that Mr. Weenie will remain at attention long enough to have some fun. I think Lion is due for another orgasm.

It amazes me that so much medical research has been done about boners. Since I’ve been trying to restore my penis to its former glory, I’ve discovered that medical science is on my side. It turns out that my Trimix injections are just the tip of an erection iceberg. I’ve been gradually increasing my dose from .10 ml to 4.5. I haven’t had any improvement in quality since my .30 try. It turns out that there are more powerful versions of Trimix that may inflate my stubborn penis. If that doesn’t work, there are other drugs to try.

I’m grateful for the huge amount of research that has produced this sexual miracle, but I’m also surprised that similar science isn’t available to women. It’s true that there are two drugs available that are supposed to improve the female libido. They are Flibanserin and Bremelanotide. These drugs aren’t approved for post-menopausal women. I wonder if Mrs. Lion’s doctor would let her try one of them. Beyond them, the usual advice is to seek counseling or try hormone therapy.

In fairness, the male problem the drugs solve has nothing to do with libido. All they do is provide mechanical help to get an erection. Sexual arousal isn’t needed. Once the penis is hard, the man can have sex whether he is aroused or not. The opposite is true of a woman. She can have sex whether or not she is aroused. The drugs for her are designed to help her enjoy it. There are no drugs to help a man have an orgasm.

Maybe women are getting the better deal. Also, it has to be much more difficult to develop a drug to get someone aroused than it is to find a way to inflate a limp penis. I know that feminists complain that more research is devoted to getting men hard than to getting women hot. They claim it is because the majority of drug companies and research scientists are men. I think they are wrong. For one thing, the boner-producing science has been the result of unexpected consequences to other research. Viagra was originally a heart medicine. Its fun property was an accident. The penis injections were developed through hormone experiments. That’s not the point.

Erections are necessary to extract semen and sperm reliably. Despite the nonsense you read online, prostate milking does not produce sperm-containing semen. The only non-sexual method is pretty violent. An electrode is inserted in the anus, and a substantial current is applied. This will cause ejaculation. It’s so painful that general anesthesia is required. Muscles contract in a seizure-like way. The current needed can heat the electrode and burn the man. This treatment is used with paralyzed men who want to have children. Sperm can sometimes be collected from the testes via surgery.

Sexual medicine is a fairly new specialty. The urologist I’ve been seeing is such a specialist. I’m encouraged to learn that there are many other ways to help me get hard again.

Sometimes, when I lust for a long weekend, I think about all the nothing I want to do. That never works out. I’m always mowing the lawn or doing other chores. This weekend, I had a few things I wanted to do. I’m tired of mowing around the rocks in various locations in the front yard. I think our landlord is trying to keep people from parking on the lawn. What they’ve turned into are trip hazards. Originally, I wanted to widen the front sidewalk so Lion had more room. He said it would be better just to remove the rocks along the edge. I wanted/needed to do the weed-whacking. I was also going to clean up more around here. I got none of this done.

On Saturday, after we got done messing around with the ham radio antenna and I deemed it too late to start installing it, I said I was going to take down the weather station to move it so it was easier to reach. Lion said I shouldn’t get myself too tired, so I couldn’t do the antenna. Hmmm. Since the antenna wasn’t on my list of things to do, I told him maybe I shouldn’t get myself too tired doing the antenna that I couldn’t do the things I wanted to do.

The four-foot antenna I installed is not sufficient. We’re in a valley. I don’t know how long the antenna needs to be to get out of the valley, but another is on order, as is a better antenna mount for the chimney. I’m so psychic I see another trip up on the roof in my future. If that doesn’t work, I think we need one of those towers that hold the high-tension power lines. (I can’t install that.)

On the to-do list today (Lion’s list) was to fold the laundry that has been lounging in the laundry baskets for far too long, feed the gardens, and do some other stuff I can’t even remember now. The laundry is folded. The next loads are in the washer and dryer. The gardens are about to be fed. I still have to vacuum. It wasn’t on his list specifically, but when he mentions his stuffy nose a lot, it needs to be done. I still have to give him a haircut. The same as vacuuming. I did mow the dog’s lawn, which wasn’t on any list but needed to be done.

I think I only have the day off for the 4th of July since it falls on a Tuesday. That means my next three-day weekend is Labor Day. I’ll start making a list of things I want to get done that I won’t. [Lion — Take a vacation day on the third of July and have a five-day weekend!]

Over twenty years ago, my ex and I built an addition on our house. One of my rules was that I didn’t get on anything higher than an eight-foot step ladder. That didn’t last long. Soon I was on the twelve-foot step ladder. My new rule was that I didn’t get on the roof. That rule lasted until we built another addition which was two stories. Suddenly, one-story didn’t seem high anymore. However, I stuck to my guns about the two-story roof.

I worked at Target for five years. I started in the backroom, running up ladders that were at least 15 feet tall. I even got brave enough to do stupid things like lean way over the edge. It had to be done to get the merchandise. It’s not that I was no longer afraid of heights. I just felt confident that I wasn’t going to plunge to my death.

When Lion wanted an antenna mounted for his ham radio, I figured it wouldn’t be a problem. It’s a one-story house. I got this. I’m up and down ladders replacing batteries for our Ring cameras. It’s no big deal to get on the roof. Well, it turns out it is a big deal. I already knew the transition from ladder to roof would be hard. I forgot just how hard. I also forgot that it had been over twenty years since I’d been on a roof.

Once I got the ladder in a good place, I was able to get my butt on the roof. I was not able to get far enough up the roof to stand. I kept sliding on those stupid little gravel bits on the asphalt roof. I told Lion I couldn’t do it. He called the handyman who said it would be a few weeks before he could make it. Guess who had to figure out how to get up on the roof. I put on my big girl panties and made it up. I got on both feet. Once I got that far, I knew I’d be okay.

I mounted the antenna bracket to the chimney, and we were all set for the antenna. But first, a water break. The sun had come out and I forgot how hot asphalt roofs can be. Again, I made it up onto the roof, pulled the antenna and mounting pole up, and I was ready for round two. Now the antenna is set up, with possible tweaks needed to tighten the brackets better. I got them as tight as I could. Maybe the handyman can do it better when he has a chance. For now, the cable is in the house and Lion is doing whatever Lion is doing to find signals.

I’m achy and I have road rash on my elbow from said stupid little gravel bits on the roof, but Lion is happily playing with his new toy.