May 2023

Lion is, again, laying in the supplies for the new antenna. Obviously, it would have been better to have done it right the first time, but live and learn. We rarely do anything right the first time. Look how long it took us to figure out punishment spankings. And some people think we’re still doing it wrong.

Speaking of punishment, it’s been a long time since I’ve swatted Lion’s butt. It’s not that he hasn’t done anything wrong. I’m sure he has. I just haven’t enforced the rules. I’ve been stressed lately between work and needing to do everything around here. If I weren’t so stressed, it might not be such a big deal to do Lion’s ham radio license. I just feel like I have a finite amount of things I can care about, and that’s not one of them.

On the plus side, Lion got his haircut, I vacuumed, all but one load of laundry made it out of the dryer and got folded, and I grilled some brats for a holiday cheat dinner. Today, I’m achy and I think the potato chips and possibly the bread are to blame. But it was nice to have “real” food.

In a few minutes, we’re heading out for a doctor’s appointment for Lion, and then we’re off to get another vial of boner juice. It’s new and improved boner juice. It’s Quadmix, which, if you can decipher Latin, means there are four drugs instead of three. We’ll give it a try when we get home. My fingers are crossed that Mr. Weenie will remain at attention long enough to have some fun. I think Lion is due for another orgasm.

Sometimes, when I lust for a long weekend, I think about all the nothing I want to do. That never works out. I’m always mowing the lawn or doing other chores. This weekend, I had a few things I wanted to do. I’m tired of mowing around the rocks in various locations in the front yard. I think our landlord is trying to keep people from parking on the lawn. What they’ve turned into are trip hazards. Originally, I wanted to widen the front sidewalk so Lion had more room. He said it would be better just to remove the rocks along the edge. I wanted/needed to do the weed-whacking. I was also going to clean up more around here. I got none of this done.

On Saturday, after we got done messing around with the ham radio antenna and I deemed it too late to start installing it, I said I was going to take down the weather station to move it so it was easier to reach. Lion said I shouldn’t get myself too tired, so I couldn’t do the antenna. Hmmm. Since the antenna wasn’t on my list of things to do, I told him maybe I shouldn’t get myself too tired doing the antenna that I couldn’t do the things I wanted to do.

The four-foot antenna I installed is not sufficient. We’re in a valley. I don’t know how long the antenna needs to be to get out of the valley, but another is on order, as is a better antenna mount for the chimney. I’m so psychic I see another trip up on the roof in my future. If that doesn’t work, I think we need one of those towers that hold the high-tension power lines. (I can’t install that.)

On the to-do list today (Lion’s list) was to fold the laundry that has been lounging in the laundry baskets for far too long, feed the gardens, and do some other stuff I can’t even remember now. The laundry is folded. The next loads are in the washer and dryer. The gardens are about to be fed. I still have to vacuum. It wasn’t on his list specifically, but when he mentions his stuffy nose a lot, it needs to be done. I still have to give him a haircut. The same as vacuuming. I did mow the dog’s lawn, which wasn’t on any list but needed to be done.

I think I only have the day off for the 4th of July since it falls on a Tuesday. That means my next three-day weekend is Labor Day. I’ll start making a list of things I want to get done that I won’t. [Lion — Take a vacation day on the third of July and have a five-day weekend!]

Over twenty years ago, my ex and I built an addition on our house. One of my rules was that I didn’t get on anything higher than an eight-foot step ladder. That didn’t last long. Soon I was on the twelve-foot step ladder. My new rule was that I didn’t get on the roof. That rule lasted until we built another addition which was two stories. Suddenly, one-story didn’t seem high anymore. However, I stuck to my guns about the two-story roof.

I worked at Target for five years. I started in the backroom, running up ladders that were at least 15 feet tall. I even got brave enough to do stupid things like lean way over the edge. It had to be done to get the merchandise. It’s not that I was no longer afraid of heights. I just felt confident that I wasn’t going to plunge to my death.

When Lion wanted an antenna mounted for his ham radio, I figured it wouldn’t be a problem. It’s a one-story house. I got this. I’m up and down ladders replacing batteries for our Ring cameras. It’s no big deal to get on the roof. Well, it turns out it is a big deal. I already knew the transition from ladder to roof would be hard. I forgot just how hard. I also forgot that it had been over twenty years since I’d been on a roof.

Once I got the ladder in a good place, I was able to get my butt on the roof. I was not able to get far enough up the roof to stand. I kept sliding on those stupid little gravel bits on the asphalt roof. I told Lion I couldn’t do it. He called the handyman who said it would be a few weeks before he could make it. Guess who had to figure out how to get up on the roof. I put on my big girl panties and made it up. I got on both feet. Once I got that far, I knew I’d be okay.

I mounted the antenna bracket to the chimney, and we were all set for the antenna. But first, a water break. The sun had come out and I forgot how hot asphalt roofs can be. Again, I made it up onto the roof, pulled the antenna and mounting pole up, and I was ready for round two. Now the antenna is set up, with possible tweaks needed to tighten the brackets better. I got them as tight as I could. Maybe the handyman can do it better when he has a chance. For now, the cable is in the house and Lion is doing whatever Lion is doing to find signals.

I’m achy and I have road rash on my elbow from said stupid little gravel bits on the roof, but Lion is happily playing with his new toy.