Mrs. Lion read the post I wrote yesterday, “Sex For Us May Have Nothing To Do With Orgasms.” She said, “I wouldn’t make you have sex if you didn’t want it.” Good point. Case closed. In my warped mind, it seemed that the orgasm would be fun regardless of sexual interest. I was being insensitive and selfish.

The simple fact is that I’m very lucky Mrs. Lion is willing to get me off. I’m sure she would be happier if I stopped wanting release. Maybe that’s the considerate thing to do. She does so much for me, and I’m sure that if we took sex off the table, it might make her life easier.

Male chastity and domestic discipline were both my ideas. It’s work for her to keep them alive. Looking back over the last ten years of our posts, much of my time was spent justifying my need for them. I visited other DD and male chastity blogs to see how other guys talked about their lives. Most of them dwell on discussions about justifying their need for the practices.

It may be that this focus repels female readers. Maybe if we took a more realistic approach to what we want, we would get a better response from women. I don’t want to generalize my thoughts to all guys. I want to talk about a realistic view of my situation.

Male chastity and domestic discipline are games I asked Mrs. Lion to play. Male chastity is a very hot sex game. I find it very arousing to know that I can’t ejaculate whenever I want. It’s super hot to me that my wife has total control of when or if I can orgasm. It is fun for me. Wearing a male chastity device is a huge turn-on because it is a 24/7 reminder that my penis is controlled by Mrs. Lion. There was nothing in it for her beyond the enjoyment of giving me so much pleasure.

Domestic discipline is a subject that evokes strong feelings in many guys who practice it. They vociferously assert that their disciplinary marriages benefit greatly because their wives can spank them. That may be true for them, but not for us. It’s true that I’m punished for breaking the rules that Mrs. Lion makes. These rules pertain to things I should do, like setting up the coffee pot for the next morning or sending a daily email.

Yes, those are things that make our lives run more smoothly, but failing to do them doesn’t threaten my safety or Mrs. Lion’s happiness. No one in his right mind would agree that a ten-minute beating with a wooden paddle is the appropriate response for failing to set up the coffee pot. I’ve yet to learn of a wife who proposed spanking her husband as a way to rescue her marriage.

There’s no disputing that domestic discipline has helped me change. The changes are small with little emotional value. That doesn’t mean they’re unimportant. I recognize that by doing my chores and thinking twice before saying something annoying, I’m helping our relationship. Punishing me has helped me make those changes. Mrs. Lion could have helped me change in less drastic ways.

The obvious truth is that I have a sexual connection to being spanked. No, I don’t get aroused when my bottom is paddled. I hate it when Mrs. Lion spanks me. After the pain subsides, I find it arousing to think and write about being spanked. I don’t know why I feel this way; I just do. Domestic discipline is a useful framework for this need and the “catch and spank” game we play.

I suspect that many people believe that calling something a game trivializes it. I disagree. War is a game. It has winners and losers. Games can be deadly serious. Games can also be useful. Male chastity trained me not to masturbate. The last time I jerked off was in 2013. Mrs. Lion’s strict orgasm control conditioned me away from self-gratification. It worked. And it is a game.

The same is true of domestic discipline. It’s a game with consequences for me. That’s what I wanted. I asked Mrs. Lion to make and enforce rules. She agreed. It was my idea and she agreed to play. It turns out that she likes catching me breaking a rule. It’s a sort of cat-and-mouse game for her. She gets nothing out of spanking me. To her, it’s just something that goes with the game. Over time she’s learned to spank me without feeling guilty for hurting me.

The bottom line is that Mrs. Lion benefits from all the work these games create simply because playing them makes me happier. She loves me and wants me to be happy. I’m incredibly lucky she feels this way.

Today is a weird day. Lion didn’t sleep well last night, so he slept late this morning. He ate breakfast with me but then zonked out until somewhere around 11. His morning email was three minutes late. By rights, I should punish him. I guess it depends on how lenient I want to be. I thought it was Wednesday, so technically, he’s a day early. It also took me until 3 pm to realize his email was late. Two flags on the play. Offsetting penalties. Replay first down. His buns are safe.

Maybe because I thought it was Wednesday, I was thinking it’s time for another boner shot. Last time it was about a week between them. Generally, he gets an orgasm every four to ten days. Of course, there have been times he’s waited longer. Until we got the boner juice, his wait was longer. Surgeries and illness have played a role.

Yes, I said he should let me know when he was looking for love. That doesn’t necessarily mean I can’t decide for him. What if he’s just starting to feel horny, but he doesn’t want to bother me until he’s full on blue balled? What if he’s been horny for a few days, but he’s been having trouble sleeping and he’s been too tired to ask for sex? Some oral sex might wake him right up. I also want to shake things up sometimes so he doesn’t feel bad asking for it. I’m not heartless.

In his (late) email, he said he doesn’t know if he’s horny. Fair enough. Maybe what he needs is some snuggle time under the covers with a drive by from my wandering hands. Even if that doesn’t pique his interest, at least we’re close. We might both fall asleep like we did last week, and that would be perfectly fine.

Lion in pink lace thong

Our little corner of the kink community seems quieter than usual. I suppose the Thanksgiving holiday and preparations for Christmas divert attention away from blogging. Ironically, more people than ever are visiting The Journal. I’m grateful for the attention.

Mrs. Lion decided to put me in a pink lace thong today. It has an ample pouch in the front that makes me think this must be designed for a male. It’s not uncomfortable. I think I look silly wearing it. I know that’s the idea. Mrs. Lion is clearly into this. I don’t know exactly why. It might be that she is doing it because it reinforces my feeling of belonging to her. I don’t think she gets any particular pleasure out of it. If I’m wrong, she’ll let us know in a post.

Even though she has dialed up her assertions of ownership, she writes about my difficulty initiating sex in a way that strongly suggests that she wants me to be sexually assertive. Here’s something she wrote in a recent post, “No Fun So Far”:

“I know he has trouble initiating and then he thinks he’s becoming a chore. It’s really more of a problem when he says, “I guess no Edex tonight” after we’ve been hanging out for a while. Yes, I was probably on my iPad but that doesn’t stop him from telling me he’s hungry. Can he say, “I’m horny” instead of hungry?”

This feels a bit odd. If Mrs. Lion wanted me to initiate sex with her I would understand her comment. But she doesn’t. She wants me to tell her when I want sex for myself. It got me thinking. She’s right. I should let her know how I’m feeling. Simply saying that I’m horny isn’t demanding sex. It’s just a weather report. I used to give her those in the past when locked in a male chastity device. I would often include “Lion Weather” in my daily emails to her.

When I was horny, the lion weather would be “Tropical,” or “Steamy.” If I wasn’t horny at the time, I would usually omit the weather. I suppose I could resume these reports. I was concerned that I was calling the shots if I announced my interest in sex. I get it. I’m not.

This brings up another topic that my lioness doesn’t seem to want to address: sex for her. It’s been over five years since we’ve had coitus. She’s mentioned it in posts a bunch of times, but nothing has happened in real life. Is this due to my failure to initiate? We’ve both lost a lot of weight. Lion riding, or maybe lioness riding would be easier. I know that even if I can’t give her an orgasm by her riding me, I can certainly provide one with my tongue. In the past she always came when riding cowgirl. Reverse cowgirl, which gets me off, doesn’t stimulate her enough. I would dearly love a cowgirl ride. When she has had her orgasms, she can turn around and give me mine.

This may seem simple and obvious, but it isn’t. While Mrs. Lion can have orgasms, she says that she doesn’t want them. I don’t think she considers an orgasm the same as a visit to the dentist, but she isn’t motivated to have them. I wonder what would happen if she resumed having them anyway, with me initiating. Would that be fun for her?

She may be willing to try. I’m not sure how I’ll do initiating. It will be an act of will for me to try. On the other hand, having sex would be an act of will for her. It would be easier to maintain the status quo. We’re comfortable with my weekly blow jobs. We tend to do what’s comfortable up to a point.

I’m sure it isn’t all that comfortable and normal for Mrs. Lion to give me panties to wear. It’s not normal for me to spend my days in thongs. This change in our routine is a good sign. Maybe the next step is to resume fucking. I will need help learning to initiate. Mrs. Lion can do that quite easily. She can simply make a rule that I must initiate at least once weekly. If I haven’t done it by Sunday morning, I get punished. This works for me. After a couple of ten-minute paddle visits, I generally get the point.

Since Mrs. Lion is indifferent to her own sexual pleasure, responding to my probably-feeble attempts to initiate can be the same sort of behavior that she exhibits when she puts me in panties. It’s helpful to me, and reinforces a behavior that she has always wanted. The objective isn’t so much to restore her libido as it is to give us both some intimacy that we miss.

Sex doesn’t have to be libido-driven. It can also well up from a desire for intimacy and expression of love. Maybe for us it isn’t about orgasms at all. It may be more about connecting as mates and sharing that special intimacy we’ve always reserved for each other. The goal doesn’t have to be orgasms at all. It can just be feeling that special connection. We’re not making babies. We’re making love.

Mrs. Lion slept in on Sunday morning. I decided to get up and use the time to write this post. Yesterday afternoon, we used the Edex and Mrs. Lion gave me oral sex. She commented that some hair had grown back above my penis and tickled her nose. She wondered if we should try the pulsed light hair removal system I got some time ago. I agreed, and we will try it in limited areas. It burns too much to use on my balls.

That got me thinking about male grooming. When my partner shaved me over twenty-five years ago, the practice was uncommon for men. I decided to see how things have changed. Good old Google turned up a Journal of Men’s Health1 study on that very subject. It turns out that a little over half of American men remove all or some pubic hair. The study goes into detail about exactly how many remove particular regions of hair and demographic data. It’s clear that I’m far from alone.

According to the study, there is an increase in genital injuries and sexually transmitted diseases in men who groom pubic hair. It isn’t very high, but it occurs. I suspect that shaving is responsible for most. It makes sense to take care when grooming down there. Women weren’t included in the study. Other research has shown that a majority of women do some pubic styling.

From my perspective, loss of my pubic hair has proven very positive. I like how the smooth skin looks and feels. It’s easier to stay clean and odor free. Removing pubic hair is a no-brainer when using a male chastity device. Hair gets caught and pulls painfully. It also gets in the way when putting on the device.

One of the main reasons that men gave for pubic grooming was to facilitate oral sex. Mrs. Lion is far from the only woman who prefers to avoid nose tickles when sucking cock. The prevalence of shaved male pubes in porn was also cited as a reason for male pubic grooming.

So, if I were in a locker room, I wouldn’t be the only hairless guy. I stopped worrying about that years ago. I am a happy advocate of hairless male genitals.

1 Gaither, T. W., Awad, M. A., Osterberg, E. C., Rowen, T. S., Shindel, A. W., & Breyer, B. N. (2017). Prevalence and Motivation: Pubic Hair Grooming Among Men in the United States. American Journal of Men’s Health, 11(3), 620-640.