I’ve yet to run into a man who simply wanted to be caged. There is always more to it. In most cases, ironically, the caged male is looking for sexual attention and control. This obvious contradiction actually has its own form of somewhat twisted logic. By locking your male’s penis in a cage, you effectively control his ability to get sexual pleasure. That also means he is surrendering that control. The fantasies generally focus on the locked male’s long wait to finally ejaculate. In many fantasies he never gets that chance.

Do you believe that your caged male expects that he will never get sexual attention again? Fat chance! enforced chastity is most certainly not about abstinence. The Internet is full of male chastity fantasies that prove this point.

Now that you have him locked up, it’s time to consider exactly what happens next. As mentioned in How To Cage Your Man, how things go is up to you. Your male will have a lot of ideas of his own. Most of them probably center around frequent tease and deny sessions as well as other activities with a distinctly sexual flavor.

Of course, you can choose to play the part he cast for you in this drama, or you can create your own scenarios. The key is to understand what is driving his need for you to own his penis. There are a few possibilities:

  • He wants you to take the sexual initiative and by having you cage his penis, you have to decide what sex he will have. After all, you have control. This is a fairly common motivation for initiating chastity in a relationship. However, it is probably covering up the more fundamental reasons he wants this.
  • He wants you to take control of more than his penis. This is almost always the underlying motive for enforced chastity play. However, it isn’t always the case.
  • He has serious concerns about your sexual trust of him. This can be due to a prior indiscretion or his feeling of temptation by females around him. It can also be a need to be punished for some real or imagined sin. From your perspective as his keyholder, it’s just good to know that he may be motivated by guilt. It probably shouldn’t affect how you play.

Tease and Deny

Even though he is locked up and safely out of reach, you don’t want him to forget about needing an orgasm, do you? I didn’t think so. The best way to make sure that every day he has to wait is more and more frustrating is to regularly tease him but not allow him to orgasm. This is very easy to do and only takes ten or fifteen minutes to perform. The keyholder remains loving and encouraging yet provides maximum stimulation to the edge of orgasm. Her dialogue plays into the male’s need to orgasm and encourages him to get more and more aroused. I think this is an excellent example of how a keyholder can exercise sexual control without turning into a dominatrix. No matter what style of enforced male chastity you choose, tease and deny should be a regular part of your activities. It serves two important purposes: It keeps the male’s sexual interest very high, and it provides him with loving, sexual attention without allowing him orgasm. I know that I really need that attention so that my enforced chastity doesn’t just feel like neglect. This video illustrates an excellent enforced chastity tease and deny session.

Crime and Punishment

Now that he is locked up and you have the key, it’s time to consider how you will exercise your new power. His fantasy is that this is the opportunity you have been waiting for. In his mind, he is sure that once you lock up his penis you will begin making his fantasies come true.

Regardless of his fantasies, there are a few things you need to consider from the outset:

  • Does he get to orgasm? If so, how will you decide when and how?
  • Are you going to create and enforce rules that extend past his penis?
  • Rewards and punishment for being a good boy or breaking a rule.

I know that if Mrs. Lion considered my lockup to be the last sex I will ever have, I would be pretty upset. I would also be upset if she unlocked me and got me off every time I wanted it. My hope is that she will somehow strike the right balance between nothing and too much. This is not a balance that I consider right for me, it’s one that she decides is what I “need”.

If you’re like her, you almost certainly have no idea what that might be. Since we are in the beginning of our enforced chastity activities, she has been taking cues from me. When I get really horny, I do let her know in many unsubtle ways (lions are like that).  The first three weeks she took the cue and gave me release.

Because I have considerable experience in the world of power exchange, I realized that if we continued this way, she would never feel any real control and I would never really surrender. I’m pretty sure that she would be ok with that status quo, but I wouldn’t. On the other hand, those first weeks with me essentially controlling release gave us both experience with my caged cock and let it settle into our daily lives.

So if his release is up to you, how do you decide what he gets? I’m sure he has ideas. I do. But that isn’t the point. This has to be something  you own. My suggestion is to start out with a 7 day lockup. You will almost certainly have to take him out to check for sore spots and maybe clean him during the week, but no sex. Most men can live through a dry week. After you snap the lock closed, you can tell him when he will have his next orgasm if he is a good boy. He’ll love it.

The next step is to give him some assignments. Remember, that he really wants more than orgasm control. He wants control. What you have him do is up to you. You can require him to perform oral sex on you every night, take out the garbage, do the laundry. Use your imagination. Don’t make it too heavy a load. This is new for both of you. Requiring him to satisfy you sexually is a very good start. He will learn that just because he can’t come, doesn’t mean you have any intention of limiting your fun.

What if he “forgets” a chore, doesn’t give you the quality oral sex you want? There are two approaches to this: you can delay his release, and you can punish him. Doing both is probably the best way to handle this. First of all, remember there are two kinds of infractions: the rule that is disobeyed, and the real breach of the chastity agreement. Chronic rule breaking falls into the second group.

For infractions that need your correction, release delays, spanking or other punishments are in order. For the more serious crimes, ending the chastity activities, withholding sexual contact with you, loss of privileges like access to TV, video games, his hobbies, etc. are in order. Not really complex, but certainly an emotional leap to get into that frame of mind. You can do it. Remember to start slowly and work up.

Once you start using your power and offer corrections to him, he will be in chastity heaven. You will have taken meaningful control and you have done it your way. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t listen to him tell you his fantasies, but you only have to listen. You run things your way.

He will test you. Sounds like a child, doesn’t it? There are very strong similarities to raising a boy. Yours is just bigger. Be sure to respond to his testing with swift and strong corrections. Beyond that, have fun. He’s yours to enjoy.


  1. Author

    My boyfriend has had this fantasy of being caged up. I was unfamiliar with this, so I did research and read all of your blogs and have subscribed. They are very informative and most helpful. I got turned on by the whole thing, so I purchased a male chastity device for him. It finally came in so tonight I surprised him by going over. We made love and afterwards I locked him up. Omg what a thrill, we both feel more of a connection with each other. He only had it on for an hour and he was begging to be inside me, needless to say that DIDN’T happen, but I thoroughly enjoyed teasing & denying him. We have just begun, let the games begin.

    1. Author

      Congratulations! I know just how he feels. Stay with it. You’ll find good stuff here.

    2. Author

      Thank you very much 🙂 I’ll be sure to keep that in mind! I appreciate it.

      1. Author

        If you want a caged male’s side of things, feel free to ask.

  2. Author

    Thank you so much. I am sure I’ll have questions.
    I know today he was mentioning ruined orgasms I’ve read a bit about that on your blog, I need to learn more.
    But its new and I’m wanting for both of us to enjoy!
    Any advice is helpful on both sides of view!

    1. Author

      We have a bit on here about ruined orgasms. This post details one of my experiences with it. It’s both frustrating and fun at the same time.

  3. Author

    First off what an amazing blog.. Thank you did all of your information and tune spent putting this all together..

    I recently asked to be put into chastity. I bought my mistress and key holder a book/guild to help her and I a long the way with our new adventure.. Day 3 no release. Im getting sore at night after i have been asleep for several hours. I have no discomfort surround the day or even when i have an erection.. I’m nit sure if i should try another ring size? The larger is way to big i slip right out

  4. Author

    Hi Mr and Mrs Lion.

    I forwarded your link to my girl friend who loved reading your posts and has me caged today and is deciding if I get released in two days…that’s if Im a good boy. Thank you

    1. Author

      You are most welcome!

  5. Author

    Hi, I don’t know if your going to help but here goes, I’ve been seeing a guy for a year and a half he’s occasionally mentioned he’s submissive, I’m not very experienced and didn’t even know what this meant, just recently he’s messaged me a lot about his fantasies but I don’t get why now? I feel stupid because I don’t know much about being a domme and everything I read is in depth and I wouldn’t know where to start, he’s mentioned he has a chasity belt I didn’t even know what one was until I searched it online but he’s messaged me tonight whilst he’s out with his mates saying he’s locked up, why would he do this? I actually like the thought of it but when I’m with him. I want to please him like he pleases me but I feel it’s all he talks about at the moment.

    1. Author

      We have a lot of information here about that. You’ve read the first of several pages on the subject. There are a lot more. Be patient and read on. You’ll get it.

  6. Author

    I have really enjoyed your blog. Wonderful and informative as you talk openly about both sides of it, the keyholder and locked male.

  7. Author

    My wife and I have been married for nearly 20 years. Today I got my first cage and gave her the key. Sex has never been high on her agenda, she more enjoys cuddles and some fondling. This usually leaves me feeling frustrated and I would look up some porn and masturbate. She said to me that she felt like me watching porn was almost the same as cheating. I was fantasising about sex with other women to get myself off. She was a bit surprised by the key and the card that I gave it to her in, but when I explained that it was to help keep me faithfull to her and only her in every way she warmed up to it. We went out and had dinner, picked up our kids from their evening activities and we about to hit the hay. She knows that I have no expectations of having sex immediately if it comes off any time soon. She knows it will have to come off for cleaning etc, but she will let me do the cleaning while watching to make sure I don’t play without her permission. I am really looking forward to this new chapter in our life and doing whatever I need to to make her happy.

  8. Author

    my fiancé has just showed me his interest in this. I’m not sure how I feel about it. The punishment part is interesting seeing as he has been unfaithful and since we don’t live together the lock down would be for days at a time which is actually kind of stress relieving since he does constantly play with himself when I can’t be there haha. But I feel like it’s too fifty shades for me lol. He already gets frustrated and borderline angry when we don’t have sex, so in a way I feel the cage might make his attitude worse? I’ve never been the type to initiate or have the control. So I can see why he would want to try something new, I just didn’t think it would be something this drastic. I had never even heard of this until I researched it right now. And this page has already helped me feel slightly better about it, so for that I thank you.

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