Master of his own demise, Lion ordered capsaicin oil to mix with the coconut oil. Glutton for punishment. He says I can mix it any strength I want depending on how much I want him to suffer. Uh huh. How much I want him to suffer. See my post from the other day when I ask what answer he wants. I don’t really want him to suffer at all. He wants to suffer. I’ll probably either mix it too strong without intending to. Or too mild for Lion. I guess we’ll see when it gets here.

Speaking of being a glutton for punishment, Lion forgot last night was punishment night. At 9 pm I reminded him. He said he completely forgot. I’m glad one of us remembered. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have the nice red tush he wound up with. Or the dark red spots that may turn into bruises. In between swats I asked what last night was. He said it was punishment night. In between more swats I asked what Thursday night is. He said it was punishment night. Maybe he’ll remember. He’s been very good at remembering. Maybe he just had too many things on his mind.

The good news is that Lion was horny last night. He has been since he’s been home. He even responded well when it was after 9. Playing late has been a sticking point from time to time, especially when he thinks he’s broken. But last night, Mr. Weenie sprang right into action. I got him oh so, almost too, close. Over and over. The past few nights, I’ve been getting him so close he drips pre-cum for a while afterwards.

He may have been preoccupied with other things, but Lion seemed very quiet after I edged him. It could have been frustration. He just didn’t look or sound very happy. It’s only been a few days since his orgasm. I’m less depressed over the loss of my junk food than he looked last night. He was fine this morning. I’m chalking it up to frustration.

[Lion – I was still upset from the painful spanking. The edging was great and, yes, I am massively frustrated. It felt so good. I didn’t really expect to come, but sure wanted to! My post tomorrow will be about how I was feeling and what happened on Monday night.]

I was wild all last week. It was because I was on a business trip. I got home late Friday night. I remained wild all weekend. I loved it! My cage sat on my dresser, looking down disapprovingly at my free-swinging genitals. Truth is, unlike most of the last three years, I was not looking forward to being locked into that device again. I had similar feelings a month ago when i returned from my last trip.

Sunday night, close to bedtime, Mrs. Lion asked me where I put my cage. I told her. Inside, I was thinking, “Oh jeeze, she is going to tell me to put the ring back on and then lock me up.” She didn’t do that immediately, but in a little while told me to put the ring on.

“I was hoping you would forget.”

“Nope.”

“I really like being wild.”

“I know.”

“I was hoping I wouldn’t be locked up again.”

“Do you really want to be wild all the time?”

“I don’t know. Would you let me if I said yes?”

“You’ve been away for a week and I trust you.”

“Does that mean I can stay wild?”

“No. Put your ring on.’

I guess that’s the right answer. It felt so good to be without the cage. Mrs. Lion says that I always feel that way when I come back from a week of being wild. I had to agree. Now that I am locked up again, I feel fine. I do think wistfully about last week.

Mrs. Lion is right that the cage isn’t really needed to prevent me from jerking off. I suppose that when I am wild, I do touch Mrs. Lion’s weenie more frequently. But it isn’t really sexual. I don’t get hard. So after three years of wearing a chastity device, I am well trained to avoid self-arousal. I think the cage has a new, possibly more important purpose in my life.

Look at it this way. Lions in the zoo have ear tags that identify them as zoo property. Only animals with ear tags are fed by the zoo. Other critters are considered “visitors” and they don’t get free meals. They are allowed to stay with the tagged creatures, but don’t get fed. I think my chastity device is now a sort of ear tag for me. It identifies me as belonging to my keyholder. It serves to make it clear that I, and the weenie it locks up, belong to her.

Would that mean when wild, her ownership is in doubt? Clearly that’s not the case. I’m hers regardless. But my “ear tag” serves to remove even the slightest ambiguity about my role. In the D/S world, it is common for the submissive partner to wear a collar. The collar is a symbol of ownership. It doesn’t control the behavior of the bottom, but it is a recognized symbol of ownership.

The chastity device isn’t exactly the same as the collar. For one thing, it actually controls the wearer. Without the key, sex is impossible. No matter how far away the keyholder, the caged male is incapable of release. When there is no doubt the male is sufficiently conditioned to keep him away from self-gratification, the device is arguably unnecessary. But like the collar, the device is a constant reminder of the wearer’s status.

An ear tag serves to identify a zoo resident for dinner purposes and in case of escape, safe return. Well, my cage prevents me from any sexual “meal” except from Mrs. Lion. And, in case I try to “stray”, prevents anything from happening.

Mentally, the very presence of the device has a strong effect on me. I am very conscious it is there. I don’t actually feel it. The fit is perfect.It’s hard to explain, but when the cage goes on, a switch flips. I instantly lose any sexual expectations. It’s a complex, sort of unconscious change. I feel it even though I don’t really know what it means. So, I guess that this lion needs his sexual ear tag.

Lion came up with an idea the other day. He wanted to try mixing coconut oil with the peppermint or ginger oil we have. He knows how good coconut oil feels as a lube. He wondered how the heat of the other oils would feel. So off we went in search of coconut oil. We stopped at a drug store for something else and decided to look for the coconut oil as well. We found a liquid version of it. Coconut oil is normally solid at room temperature. Having a liquid at room temperature is perfect. There’s no need to warm the oil before play.

Lion mixed up a batch of coconut peppermint ginger oil and I decided to try it out Saturday night. Maybe I didn’t use enough. I didn’t want to get too much warmth on my weenie. It didn’t seem as slippery as I remember coconut oil being when we’ve used it in the past. Lion seemed to like it, though. He was nice and hard. I edged him quite a few times. He hadn’t really felt my touch in a week.

I decided he should have an orgasm. I know, it had only been a week. Yes, but a week with no sexual contact of any kind. Lion wasn’t going to argue. He dutifully spurted at the appropriate time. Unfortunately, he hadn’t felt much heat while I was stroking him. Afterwards, however, he felt the heat. I guess I need to slow my roll, as they say.

Lion certainly wasn’t disappointed. The coconut oil had been slippery enough to satisfy him. I just needed to apply it sooner so the heat was able to build up before the show was over. Lesson learned. There’s a speed limit when using the coconut peppermint ginger oil.

Last night I didn’t use any help. Even though it had been about 24 hours since his orgasm, Lion was raring to go. This time he got oral attention. Too bad it stopped just short time and time again. I bet he could have come again if I’d let him. But I didn’t. I don’t know when he’ll get his next chance. Probably sooner rather than later if I know me. And I do.

Earlier this week I wrote about the lifelong humiliation we males suffer due to our dependency on our wives for sex and emotional support. Wouldn’t you expect women to revel in this power position? I think that many find it to be a burden.

A glaring example of this is that even though women decide when and if their mates will have sex with them, there is a frequent complaint that their men don’t initiate sex. So, we males are expected to attempt to initiate sex with the full knowledge that we will be rejected.

Think about it. I’m supposed to make sexual advances. Then, my mate decides whether to reject me, or if I am lucky, have sex with me. A very common female complaint is that their mates aren’t sexually aggressive enough. I wonder why?

Let’s look at this logically. You’re standing at a bus stop. Your bus pulls up. The driver opens the door and as you begin to step in he says, “Sorry I can’t take you today,” closes the door and drives off. You notice that no one got off at your stop.

Why did he stop if he wasn’t going to let you board? Another bus stops. You try to enter, but the driver stops you. This happens over and over. After a while, a bus driver finally lets you in. You might get tired of trying to board, only to be rejected. That’s how it feels to be a guy.

Making advances often results in rejection. This is painful because it is a very powerful reminder of where the sexual power resides. Even if the rejections are relatively infrequent, it still stings. Over time, a guy can just give up. His wife gets angry that he isn’t “interested” in her sexually. That’s how she interprets his lack of initiative. She feels rejected. Now he feels badly because she is silently angry at him.

Did she consider that he never rejected her sexually. Women assume their mates are always ready for sex. That’s not true, but it is true enough that very few guys will ever say no. I enjoy sex with Mrs. Lion even if my penis isn’t involved.

Women are programmed to attach sexual self worth to how many sexual advances they get from their partners. Very few wives want to initiate sex with their husbands, and feel hurt and angry if their husbands don’t initiate with them.

This feels like a lose/lose proposition to me. We males are going to feel badly no matter how we behave sexually. There are ways to avoid this sand trap. The least practical is to always say “yes.” It just isn’t realistic to be that well synchronized. Another difficult, but very practical alternative is to change roles. Agree that the wife will initiate sex when she is available. Doing this isn’t all that easy. But it seems fair; at least to me.

Mrs. Lion and I are in an enforced chastity relationship. By definition, she has to initiate any sex I get. She has the only key that unlocks my chastity device. But I don’t think this is as successful as I had hoped it would be. Every so often she comments about wishing I would initiate. I should. If I initiate, I’m locked away so I know I’m not having sex. So I have no reason to be disappointed.  This weekend I will try again.

Maybe we are on the way to a solution that works for both of us. Mrs. Lion continues to control when and how I get sex. If she wants to ride me, she can unlock my cage and climb aboard. But while I am locked up, I can try to provide her with an orgasm. If she isn’t interested, she can let me know. I won’t feel the sting of rejection because I am providing something just for her. If she isn’t interested, I can try again a few days later.

I fly back to my lioness this evening. I can’t wait. Flying west takes two hours longer than flying east at this time of year. No point whining; it does no good and if Mrs. Lion is around, painful consequences are probable if she hears me. She’s meeting me at the airport. I can’t wait to to hold her in my arms again.