I meant to check the turkey breast yesterday to see if it was defrosting well in the refrigerator. When I checked it this morning, it still seemed a bit frozen so it’s lounging in water in the sink. It’s a good thing Lion likes to eat Thanksgiving dinner later in the day. My preference was always around 1 pm, but we’d be in a bit of trouble if we’d tried to cook a half-frozen turkey breast this morning.
Lion thought I had the paddles on the bed to remind him, or myself, that he had a punishment coming. Actually, when I found the Lucite paddle, I decided to use it. Why would I put it away when I knew I’d need it later? The other paddle didn’t fit in our over-the-door shoe holder turned paddle holder. I found the holder when I was cleaning up. I’d wondered where it was. I’ve had a growing collection of paddles on my dresser and it was getting out of hand. I still have a pile of them that don’t fit. I need a better system.
When I started swatting Lion, I noticed he already had some red marks on his buns. His allergies cause him to itch and that causes him to scratch. I knew I could take away the urge to scratch by roasting his butt. He doesn’t feel the itchiness when his buns are on fire.
Fairly early on in the process, Lion rolled away. I’ve threatened to start over when he does this but I haven’t so far. The problem with rolling away is that if I don’t catch myself in time, he gets a swat in an unintended area. I don’t see this as my fault, of course. He’s the one rolling away. I just don’t want to hurt him in a more sensitive spot. Depending on which way he rolls, my weenie and the boys could be exposed. I know it would hurt a lot to be swatted there even if I managed to lessen the speed. That’s dangerous. Given the fact that it was early in the swats, it wouldn’t have been so bad to start over. Sometimes he rolls over later and that would be a big deal on an already-sore butt. [Lion comments — Mrs. Lion has threatened to start over as long as she has been spanking me. I can’t help but wonder why she doesn’t actually do it. :)]
I got him nice and red and perhaps on the verge of bleeding. I don’t know if he’s bruised but he said he had at least one sore spot. I hope so. I was hitting pretty hard. I guess I thought I had to make the punishment really count now that he’s not breaking the rules so often. I don’t want him to break rules on purpose, but I think he forgets how much I can make it hurt from one punishment to the next. Not to worry. I can remind him.
I guess it was inevitable. Even though I only have to obey a few simple rules, I’m bound to mess up. This time it was the dreaded coffeepot. I forgot to set it up for the morning. If you read Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday, she made a point of the fact that my rules are simple and she was figuratively shaking her head that I can’t seem to consistently follow them.
She knows I’m not good at reading subtle signals, so she makes her points in ways even I can understand. In case I was confused she not only wrote a post about it but also put two paddles on the bed to underline her intention to punish me. Yup, I got the message. It’s been at least a month since I’ve been punished. We have played Spankardy and Spankball, but no serious spankings.
As Mrs. Lion will surely say, I am out of practice when I yelp and try to roll over. She’s right; it’s been a while. In the past, she has indulged me and ended the spanking early. I think we both forgot “Yellow”. This is the safe word for me to use when I find it too intense. Truth be told, I forget it exists in the heat of the moment. Perhaps she can remind me at times like that.
Our agreement is that if I call Yellow, she backs off in terms of how hard she is hitting, but she doesn’t stop. Then she ramps up again after I have time to adjust. Her intention is to continue until she makes her point. I think we both slipped a bit when punishments happen less frequently. The temptation is to say we got out of practice. That leads to the idea of maintenance spankings to keep us current. I think that’s a mistake. The idea of maintenance spanking is more a sexual fantasy sort of thing than real-life domestic discipline. If anything, we probably need a spanking “Miranda statement:
” You have the right to call Yellow. When you do, the spanking will get less intense, but will not stop. No matter how long it takes you will receive a full punishment. Do you understand?”
This may seem silly at first, but as we clearly demonstrate, it’s possible to forget the basics. If Mrs. Lion agrees, we can print up a card for her to read before spanking me. Even though we have been doing this for a while, we don’t have the genetic memory developed over generations of giving and getting spanking punishments.
Marital spanking is not well established in our world. We are still learning our roles. It’s also a little confusing. Spanking is a sexual practice as well. I’m turned on by the thought of being spanked. So, I receive recreational spankings from Mrs. Lion. Sometimes it’s a game, like Spankardy. Other times she just spanks me because she knows I want it. I’m definitely easier to arouse after a recent spanking. That leaves the question of how punishment is different.
The obvious answer is that punishment is much more intense and no fun at all. That’s true of Mrs. Lion’s spankings. You might wonder why she doesn’t choose a different punishment that has no sexual attraction for me. She certainly could. I don’t think she will.
There’s a good reason why almost everyone uses spanking to punish: it’s safe, easy to learn, effective, and most important, gratifying to the spanker. I know that Mrs. Lion doesn’t particularly like spanking me. For the record, she also doesn’t mind. That’s not the point. It isn’t how the spanker feels about beating her mate, it’s the process. When she spanks me, Mrs. Lion can see the effects of her efforts. My bottom turns red, sometimes white, or black and blue. She hears my response. She knows she is hurting me. I’m not having a good time. I’m unhappy. She is making me unhappy for a reason. Mrs. Lion is letting me know I’ve displeased her.
Admit it or not, there is a sense of satisfaction, of closure after a spanking. I’ve paid the price for my crime. Mrs. Lion knows that I understand the consequences of breaking one of her rules. Closure. Don’t minimize the importance of that word. Closure lets us move on. Guilt is banished. Frustration at not being able to communicate upset is gone. Just as important is the fact that a repeat of my sin will result in another spanking. We both know that eventually, I will learn. If I seem slow to understand, Mrs. Lion can simply make my next spanking more severe. She has tools that can easily make things worse for me. There’s no way any man is going to win an argument with the business end of a paddle. Once his wife understands this, his fate is sealed.
We have some fairly simple rules. Lion should not eat before I do. He should not spill food on his shirt. He should set up the coffee pot for the next day. He should not interrupt me. He should not be a know-it-all. He should remind me of punishment days. He should keep count of the days since orgasm and post it on the whiteboard in our bedroom. He should not make fun of the local news people. There may be a few more that escape me now. I usually let him slide on interrupting and being a know-it-all. Those are actually big rules and ones I’m trying to get better at enforcing.
You’d think, after all this time, he’d have it down to a science. I know he has a process, but if the process is interrupted, he gets in trouble. Yesterday he forgot to put the coffee pot together. Of course, it’s not a big deal in the overall scheme of things. I know how to do it. It’s just a chore that he should do. More importantly, it’s one less thing I have to do around here. When I told him he’d gotten his sexy butt in trouble, he didn’t know why. Sometimes he remembers a split second too late. Not this time.
He told me it was because he made a second pot of coffee so we could both have another cup. And then I had the coffee pot soaking to get stains out. And then…. Nope. Just nope. I don’t want to hear it. He had at least eight hours (it was definitely more) to wander into the kitchen after the coffee pot was cleaned. That’s ample time to set it up. Does he need a web cam trained at the coffee pot so he doesn’t have to walk all the way in the kitchen to make sure he’s done his job? (He’s probably shopping for cameras now.) [Lion comments: Actually, we have one. It’s a great idea. I’ll set it up!]
The good part is that, as my computer did a far-too-lengthy update, I started cleaning. I found several paddles that had gotten tossed to the side at some point. What luck! Just in time to swat a Lion butt. Christmas came early for me. Lion won’t be coming any time soon.
A recent post in the Domestic Discipline blog posed an interesting question: Can you spank your husband without feeling bad? The blog is written by a woman who talks about her DD/Spanking activities with her husband. Apparently, she had difficulty spanking him when they started playing. This is very similar to the experience Mrs. Lion and I had. The first time I asked her to spank me she barely tapped my bottom. It felt like gentle pats.
Over time, Mrs. Lion learned to hit harder. I encouraged her to keep escalating. After a while, a long while, she began using her paddle with enough force to make me scream and beg her to stop. When I did, she backed off immediately. We would discuss it and after a while, she disregarded my expressions of pain and would continue until she decided she was done.
When we talked about it, I suggested she might learn to enjoy spanking me. She said it made her feel bad, but she did it because she knew I wanted it. I hated that. My fantasy was that Mrs. Lion spanked me to punish me. I imagined she enjoyed it, even got turned on by beating me.
I finally got it through my head that wasn’t going to happen. But we were at a difficult point. She spanked me because she said I wanted her to do it. Well, yes I do. I wanted her to spank me because I needed to be punished. That reason didn’t require her to enjoy beating me. At that point, I think it made her feel bad that she was hurting me. In my mind that meant she would always hold back.
A year or two after we started domestic discipline, I suggested that there is an objective way to decide how serious a spanking has to be. I suggested that if I repeated the offense soon after being punished, the punishment didn’t make a strong enough impression. Therefore, Mrs. Lion might want to step it up. She did.
I discovered that I would try to escape when she got stricter. She wasn’t the only one who had to learn about spanking. She undertook some “experiments.” She would spank me a few times a week. Each time she would push me to the edge of escape. She administered swats in groups of ten. She would pause after each group. In the beginning, she paused for 10 seconds or more. Later the interval would go down.
She still uses the 10-swat technique. There is almost no pause between groups. She alternates between cheeks. Each group of 10 swats is applied to the same small area of my bottom, first on one cheek then the other. The next set of 10 might go to a slightly different area. She concentrates my spankings to the lower part of my butt and my upper thighs.
For trivial offenses, or when she isn’t in the mood to work too hard, the spankings are painful but pretty brief. Occasionally, she gives me a full-on disciplinary spanking. These last forever, well actually about five minutes. I hate them, but I have to admit they make her point. To be honest, the others don’t. They’re over before I regret getting into trouble. Mrs. Lion reads my posts, so now I am in trouble.
The biggest change is her attitude. She’s told me that she no longer feels bad when she hurts me. No, she isn’t turned on and she doesn’t think it is funny. She says it is just another chore like washing dishes. It isn’t unpleasant, but it isn’t fun either.