Now that we are both feeling better, it’s probably a good time to discuss domestic discipline. We seem stuck on a single rule that triggers punishment for me: forgetting to set up the coffee pot for breakfast the next morning. We had a couple of other rules that have fallen by the wayside. I was supposed to wait to eat until Mrs. Lion started. Since my vision has worsened, Mrs. Lion doesn’t enforce that one.
The second displaced rule was that I got punished if I got food on my shirt. Since I’m almost always naked, this rule doesn’t apply. That leaves the single coffee pot rule. I suppose you could argue that there’s no reason to punish me if I’m well behaved. I suppose that I am reasonably well trained by this point.
We’ve substituted “just because” spankings for punishments. It turns out that every time Mrs. Lion gives me one of these spankings, she remembers things I should have been punished for doing. So, they really aren’t “just because” spankings, after all.
We do better when domestic discipline is more in the foreground. Right now, for example, it’s been three weeks since my last visit with the spanking bench. I’m not unhappy about that. Mrs. Lion is a very strict spanker. The problem is that punishment is an expression of love. I know that sounds odd, but it’s a form of attention that says Mrs. Lion cares enough to correct me. That means a lot to me. I think it does to her as well.
When she is actively correcting me, she is also more affectionate. I think that identifying infractions and correcting them is active. She is not only spanking me. She is also watching me to be sure I am behaving correctly. That is a constant connection and reminder of our love.
Over the years we have been doing this, domestic discipline has become another language of love. Thinking about a spanking is sexual to me, but not to her. However, discovering and punishing infractions is a form of communication we established years ago. Every time she brings out the spanking bench, something happens. She may not have fun spanking me, but she gets a sense of a job well done when it hurts for me to sit days later.
Beyond that, spanking is an intimate activity. It isn’t sexual, but it is very intimate. I think we both understand that it is an expression of our love for each other. Think about it. If we were angry and distant, would Mrs. Lion spank me? I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t.
I am happy to report that I am 99% better. I can still feel whatever it was lurking in the background and I’m sure if I do too much, I’ll feel it, but I need to do things today. Both of us spent a few hours napping on and off yesterday while watching TV. By dinner time, neither of us was hungry and Lion’s tummy was yucky, but we ate homemade chicken soup and that seemed good for both of us. Lion’s shoulder was hurting a lot last night, so even if I was able to give him attention, he wasn’t looking for any. The pain kept him awake a lot last night.
At some point, both of us will be well enough to enjoy each other’s company again. I mean, of course, close company. We always enjoy being together, even if we aren’t touching. Luckily, Lion’s right shoulder is the one that hurts, so holding hands is still on the table. I think he needs a combination of heating pad and a different pillow to support his shoulder. He’s spent more time in bed since he wasn’t feeling well and that has exacerbated his shoulder issues.
What I’ve been writing isn’t particularly interesting lately. Those are the perils of being the play-by-play guy. If there’s no game, there’s nothing to report on. I will say that Lion made sure the coffee pot was set up for this morning. He thought he’d done it for yesterday morning. He wanted to make sure not to tempt fate. He knew sooner or later I’d feel well enough to uphold his rules. He doesn’t want that spanking bench to come out any time soon. Of course, I won’t spank him if he doesn’t feel well. He needs time to recover as well.
Today, after I’ve run errands and done some chores, I’ll look for the weighted heating pad for Lion’s shoulder. I’ve got to get him back into fighting form.
[Lion — I took a pain pill and feel fine. My shoulder doesn’t hurt when I am on the spanking bench, so no excuse for me there. I was worried about Mrs. Lion. I’m relieved she is feeling better.]
I am feeling somewhat better today. However, I’m not going to be too active because I know that can change quickly. My head is still wonky but life goes on. There are errands to run and chores to do. Everything will be fine as long as I don’t do too much all at once.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. Lion didn’t set up the coffee pot again. This time I’m letting it go because I don’t feel up to spanking him and I know he’s been worried about me. So worried, in fact, that I’m always afraid to tell him I don’t feel well because he’s like a mother hen. He kept asking if I wanted to take a COVID test. He wanted me to take my temperature. I haven’t been out of the house in about a week. There’s no need to waste a COVID test. My temperature was normal. And I always ache to some extent. My head was just off (no jokes, please) and I knew I wouldn’t be able to move around enough to play with him.
I’m not promising any play tonight because I don’t know how I’ll feel. We should be able to snuggle. We didn’t last night because moving was weird. I thought being on my side might be too much. I slept on my side and that was fine so snuggling should be back on the table. Assuming Lion’s back and shoulder don’t hurt, I should have no trouble fondling my weenie. We’ll have to play it by ear from there.
Maybe you think I’m being too nice to Lion by not punishing him for the coffee pot. Again. I might be. But I know when I feel better, I can always bring out the spanking bench “just because” I didn’t feel well enough to spank him when he got himself in trouble. He’s probably due for a “just because” spanking anyway. It can wait till I can give him the attention a proper spanking deserves.
My friend Julie wrote a provocative post about spanking: “Spanking Reality and Spanking Fantasy.” She talks about her inner and outer spanking lives. It’s a fascinating look at the female view of spanking. Over the years, I’ve been lucky enough to spank quite a few women. One was my live-in partner. She would be insulted if I called her that to her face. In her mind, she was my slave. That was the direction her fantasies drove her.
In fact, she was very much like Julie. She craved my hand, strap, flogger, or paddle. She didn’t like the pain but was aroused by the spanking. She claimed that she could have an orgasm just from the spanking. She didn’t during the decade we were together. There was no question that being taken in hand was a major turn-on for her.
The downside to this was that her craving for supervision and discipline was both time-consuming and annoying to me. While it was fun to beat a beautiful woman, it wasn’t something I wanted to do every day. I didn’t want to inspect every chore she completed and review her performance. That might have fueled her inner needs, but it annoyed me.
I learned a lot from my time as a top. I also learn as a bottom. I think that men and women experience domestic discipline in very different ways. Julie confirms what I’ve observed in many other women. She likes the humiliation and submission that being spanked gives her. She also works hard to avoid repeating the behavior that got her spanked. She wants to be a good girl. There is a deep connection between the desire to be punished and the need to please.
This connection tempers the approach to the sexual aspect of being punished. Imagine what would happen if the need for the humiliation and pain were so strong and constant that she worked hard to provoke her husband into more and more frequent beatings. He would decide that DD was just too much trouble and quit. That’s what happened with my partner and me.
For a while, she skipped some of her chores on purpose. She needed daily spankings. I stopped and told her that she was turning into a black hole. She tried to do better. She couldn’t. Eventually, we had to break up. I don’t think that men approach DD in quite the same way. I don’t have a traditional, submissive role to emulate. Julie can be a good wife and obey her husband. I’ve been trained to be in charge. I want Mrs. Lion to have power and use it, but I can’t surrender my role as head of the household.
We’ve found a way to make this work. The “lion” model is a good example of how nature balances power. Males instinctively avoid attacking females. The girls have no such issue. They understand that he is in charge unless he does something they truly don’t like. Then they let him know by painfully biting his rump. He can’t fight back. Sound familiar?
Mrs. Lion lets me make most of the decisions. However, she has rules and will painfully spank me if I break one. If I piss her off, my rear end pays for the indiscretion. We started with play spankings because I was turned on thinking about being spanked. We evolved into our current domestic discipline as a way to ensure that Mrs. Lion always has a voice. It works. She uses her power sparingly, but when I need to be spanked, I have a horrible time.
I still have sexy spanking fantasies. Women-spanking-men videos rarely turn me on. I’m never more than a couple of weeks away from my own experience being spanked. Sometimes I picture myself in the scene, and it is fun. I can’t masturbate, so I have no incentive to be turned on by porn. Still…