We’ve been watching an old gameshow called “Tattletales”. It pits three celebrity couples against each other. It pits us against each other, too. Well, it doesn’t make us fight. We try to answer the questions. More often than not, we have no idea. For example, one question asked, “Who fell in love first?” How can you possibly know that? Look! It says right here, “Dear diary….” As far as I’m aware, neither of us kept diaries. I know I didn’t. I also know I fell in love with him a while before I admitted it, both to him and to myself. He can’t pinpoint when he fell in love either. I guess we didn’t win any points for that question.

Another question asked if he had changed me after we got married. Well, duh! I never whomped anyone’s butt before his. I was never in a female led relationship. Of course, they didn’t ask if the changes were for the better or not. I don’t know how I’d answer that. Is it good that I can spank him? It is for him. And I suppose it’s a skill. I may never be able to convert that skill into anything salable, but it is a skill. I have been a supervisor before. I liked being paid more but I didn’t have any real power. Even if I’d had real power, I don’t think I would have used it to punish people. Ironically, it’s not something I ever wanted to do.

I did find out something interesting about Lion. We met on lavalife.com. I knew he liked my smile in my profile picture. I did not know I was the only person he contacted. I’d been contacted by a few guys, but couldn’t find a time to meet. Since I met Lion three days after we started talking, I stopped talking to everyone else. I guess lavalife didn’t make much money off of us. Maybe someday we’ll contact them, if they still exist, and let them know how long we’ve been together thanks to their site. I’m very happy I found the site. It’s worked out very well for us.

Sunday afternoon Mrs. Lion waxed me. It went very smoothly (Get it?). It takes less and less time. In the end, she cleans me up with mineral oil. The grand finale is a very nice penis massage with oil. Just as things got very hot, the doorbell rang. It was a grocery order.  Shit! The delivery man didn’t want to leave it. He kept ringing. Mrs. Lion answered the door and brought in the groceries. By the time she got back, the mood was lost. I still got my lion-zilian waxing. No hair from my neck to mid-thighs survived the wax.

I’ve heard that women’s magazines say that the bush is back. I hope not. I prefer women without pubic hair. The view is very sexy. Let’s face it, a bush hides the good stuff. Mrs. Lion has very little pubic hair. I’m happy about that. She doesn’t remove her pubic hair, just mine. I suppose people tend to want change. I figure if you have a good thing, why fuck with it?

My interest is academic. I see pictures of naked women, but that’s all. I’m still hoping that Mrs. Lion will go lion riding. It’s been 1,552 days (Februrary 2018)  since the last time she mounted me. I miss it. It’s been nearly that long since I’ve given her an orgasm. I know that she isn’t interested in sex for herself. I guess that we can continue as we have been. It works and keeps me reasonably happy. Still…

While we are on the subject of things I miss, Mrs. Lion spanked me on Saturday and had me riding the spanking bench bareback (not strapped down). I was very close to escaping. The straps remind me where my place is. As lioness spankings go, Saturday’s was fairly gentle. There was no pain a short time after she finished. There was plenty while she beat me. I’m not sure what is changing. It could be the use of less-lethal paddles or gentler swats. There’s no question that my bottom is less sore when she finishes. Much as I hate suggesting it, maybe she needs to experiment with her newer paddles.

Sunday night, after waxing, we both had headaches. I don’t think the headaches are connected to the waxing. I’m not sure what was going on. I managed to forget to close the shower door again. Mrs. Lion said she would excuse me because of the headache. Given her usual zero-tolerance policy, I’m not sure that was a good idea. Much as I hate being spanked, I don’t want to see our disciplinary relationship slip. I also know that I learn most effectively if there are no exceptions. It isn’t too late for her to change her mind and spank me. I think she should.

I suppose this is one area in a domestic discipline relationship where both partners need to take responsibility to make sure things don’t slip. I was happy when Mrs. Lion excused me. As I thought about it, I realized that this wasn’t good for us. We both tend to let things go until everything is gone. I’m as responsible as she is for keeping things consistent. I know that I’ll regret pointing this out.

After the burnt pizza fiasco, Lion lamented the lack of fresh food in the house. I could live off of frozen food forever. Lion needs fresh. Obviously, he can’t drive. I’m the one tasked with shopping. For a few years, I’ve been doing an online order and picking it up on the way home from work or if I happen to be heading in that direction. I’ve also had the order delivered when I know I won’t be going out any time soon. Before my trip east, I discovered that a different store has a cheaper delivery price. Yes, please. Why Lion can’t ask me to do an order is beyond me. Is that like initiating sex? Does he think he’s imposing on my time? I’d prefer that to hearing him complain when there’s no salad stuff or other vegetables.

Anyway, I placed an order for delivery on Sunday. It was due between 1 and 5. This is prime waxing time. I figured no matter when I decided to start, the order would come in the middle. Then I figured it wouldn’t really matter. They drop it off and leave. Normally. This time the guy rang the doorbell. Twice. Shit. Did I forget to check the box that says it’s okay to leave the delivery? No. He just wanted to make sure I knew where the receipt was. Great…except that I was right in the middle of jerking Lion off with oil. That’s the best part of the waxing. Dammit! Talk about anticlimactic.

Lion went to take a shower and I put the groceries away. I noticed he forgot to set up the coffee pot. His leg had been hurting him and my head was hurting on and off. I was going to let him off the hook if he didn’t do it before 5. I was sitting in bed when he came out of the shower and said he had a headache too. I guess it’s a good thing we both felt yucky because he left the shower door open too. If he was going to get a free pass for the coffee pot, he might as well get a free pass for the shower door.

I still have my headache. I think Lion’s went away. I think his leg feels better too. I’ll take some Tylenol later and be back in fighting form for some Lion attention later on.

Saturday was filled with adventure and pain. Well, I got the pain. We ordered a large Aerogarden, indoor hydroponic “farm.” It arrived Friday afternoon, and Mrs. Lion assembled it on Saturday. We ordered the tallest version to permit room for tomatoes to grow. It’s huge! She assembled it with a minimum of growling. Mrs. Lion is quite vocal when frustrated. We set it up and planted tomatoes, lettuce, and a couple of herbs. It will take a week or so for them to sprout. Hydroponically grown veggies mature five times faster than those grown in the ground.

After our farm was planted, Mrs. Lion dragged out the spanking bench. I was not in the mood to be spanked. She didn’t inquire if I wanted to be spanked or not. With no fanfare, I was invited to ride it. I held my tongue. Grumbling would only make it worse. Based on her post yesterday, she knew I wasn’t happy about being spanked. I never am. She didn’t strap me down. I wish she wouldn’t skip that step. I know I moved around a lot. She had no problem finding her target.

I’m writing the post at noon on Sunday. Mrs. Lion will be waxing me later this afternoon. She’s getting much better at this craft. It takes her a lot less time, and the results are better. Part of the reason is that the hair is growing back less and less. She’s scaring it away. She uses light mineral oil to clean away any remaining wax when she’s done. She’s especially careful with my cock. She uses a lot of oil there. Invariably, it swells. Last time I had an orgasm—a waxy, oily, happy ending.

In her post, Mrs. Lion indicated that I’m high maintenance because I don’t like burnt pizza and have sensitive skin and nose. I can’t help those things. My skin can’t be that sensitive the way she beats me. You’d think she couldn’t wait to give me away. It doesn’t matter. There’s no waiting list for used lions. [Mrs. Lion — We’re also past the warranty period.]