Monday night was one of the few times I spanked Lion for annoying me. The last time was an add-on to another punishment so I’m not even sure it counts. I’d say he’s been baiting me into punishing him, but that’s not quite the right word. Cajoling isn’t right either, but at times it’s felt like it. What he’s been doing is encouraging me.

Somehow it’s felt almost like a dare. “It’ll be good for you. You’ll see. Just do it. Do it. Come on. You can do it. Just do it. You’ll feel better if you do it. Do it. Come on. Do it.” I guess you can only take so much of that before you “just do it”.

On the surface, it wasn’t unlike any other punishment. A bunch of swats on his buns that made him red and then bleed a little. I used a heavy rubber paddle with holes drilled in it. One of the last swats made a few circle marks. I’m not sure if it made the surrounding skin red or if it was blood transfer from the paddle. I don’t know if it was as severe as the last spanking. I “just did it” until he looked red enough. He was surprised I didn’t use the new rubber cane. I forgot we had it and it seems difficult to control. I’ll have to practice on a pillow first to get the hang of it.

lions right butt cheek after spanking with rubber paddle
You can see the marks the holes in the p;addle left on Lion’s cheek. He’s nice and red with a blood spot or two.

The thing is, I didn’t feel better after the spanking. I know Lion felt worse, at least his butt did. I felt better after I growled at him for pissing me off earlier in the day. I think I was actually more annoyed by his persistence at getting me to spank him when he annoys me. That’s ironic, isn’t it? By the way, the conversation that started it all had to do with face masks with little flaps so you can drink through a straw more easily. Lion thought it was a stupid idea and proceeded to tell me why. I thought it was a better idea than having to take your mask off entirely just to get a quick drink. The bigger point is that, since he highjacked my conversation, I didn’t finish my thought. (No, I don’t want to finish it now.)

My issue now is whether it’s okay to whomp him because he annoys me by telling me it’ll make me feel better to whomp him when he annoys me. I have to say that feels wrong. As I said, I felt better when I growled at him for annoying me. That’s a fairly big step for me. Usually I just get quiet. Maybe that’s my go-to punishment for annoying me. I’m not saying I’ll never get to the point that I’ll spank him for doing it, but right now I’d like to stick to growling. Clearly, if he pushes my buttons enough times, I’ll hit my limit and then hit my Lion, but I don’t think that’s the answer for the time being.

[Lion — It’s true that I strongly encourage Mrs. Lion to punish me for annoying her. I understand that it feels wrong right now. As I recall, it felt wrong to spank me for eating first or getting food on my shirt. I think it is a matter of learning.

It is a big step to just growl or snarl when I annoy her. It shows she is recognizing my role in upsetting her. I’m not sure it is enough to get me to change. Mrs. Lion’s pattern has been to first build a habit of spotting infractions and then punishing them. It could be that the growls are part of that. I am requesting that she back those growls up with her paddle so that I can learn more quickly.]

We’ve both been writing about the wall we seem to have hit in terms of Mrs. Lion spanking me for saying or doing things that upset her. She’s made some very good points. One is that it doesn’t feel fair to punish me for something that I really didn’t play a very large part in. I understand that. I think that the problem is that the sort of offenses I may commit in terms of interacting with her are subtle and frequently not intentional. It would be one thing if when I got angry I acted brattily. I don’t. I’m generally not aware of times when I interrupt her or otherwise make her feel bad.

I don’t think Mrs. Lion or any other disciplinary wife expects to turn her husband into a perfect, saintly man. It’s no accident that most wives will often refer to their husbands as their “oldest child”. Obviously, they don’t expect us to have perfect communication skills inside our marriages.

Mrs. Lion reserves punishment for when I break a rule. I have a few concrete, easy-to-spot rules she enforces consistently. She attempted to make a couple of behavioral rules: no interrupting and no acting like a know-it-all. I have to agree that those are reasonable rules. However, Mrs. Lion has found them impossible to enforce. I think the reason for this is that infractions of those rules generally occur while we are communicating. She’s focusing on the topic at hand and not my communication style. The only times she’s even snarled at me about one of those infractions has been when my behavior was particularly egregious.

Remembering the offense

That’s the dilemma. Is it worth the effort to interrupt a chain of thought to call me out? What happens to the real subject of the conversation if she growls at me about interrupting? It’s not easy to pick up a conversational thread when you switch gears so drastically. In the context of our communication, it isn’t particularly sensible to stop things and inform me I’m in trouble. Even if Mrs. Lion decides to make a mental note of my transgression and then inform me and punish me later, she’s burdened with the obligation to remember exactly what happened. That’s not reasonable. We were having a conversation because we needed to discuss something, not because she was testing me to make sure I wouldn’t interrupt.

Does this mean that we should abandon the idea that her disciplinary role also applies to my communication style? I hope it doesn’t. Based on my research, disciplinary wives with a lifetime set of experiences involving parents punishing them, develop a skill to manage these conversational issues. They appear to be able to make a mental note of behavioral infractions. Then, at a more opportune time, recall the situations, and advise their husbands that they committed spankable offenses.

does a snarl mean i get spanked?

On occasion, Mrs. Lion has snarled at me when I displeased her while we were talking. I think that’s a perfectly effective way to let me know that I’ve done something wrong. It’s also much more subtle than announcing that I was going to be spanked. Maybe we both have to recognize that a snarl signals that a spanking will be forthcoming when convenient. That way we avoid undue interruptions of our conversation. Mrs. Lion can also make me jointly responsible for remembering a snarl.

Mrs. Lion may consider this unfair. After all, her snarl may just be a warning for me to watch myself. If we are keeping track of those snarls, when we discuss them, she can decide what, if any penalty has been earned. If she spanks me when she snarls at least some of the time, I will be on notice that I may be in for a painful paddling. If it turns out the snarl was just a warning, at least we will have discussed the situation.

The principal value of spanking for bad behavior is that each time that behavior is repeated, a sense of fear accompanies it. If a lioness snarl often results in a sore bottom, it will get my full, undivided attention. After all, that’s what Mrs. Lion wants. It’s a matter of training. She learns to identify and express her reaction to the behavior she doesn’t like. Any expression of displeasure has to be taken seriously because it’s very likely to result in a spanking later. If it doesn’t, I can consider myself lucky.

If it seems that I’m spending too much time thinking about this, consider that in our 17 years together those behavioral issues have been the most frequent cause of Mrs. Lion being angry at me. She has a long record of not expressing her anger in any way. I think the health of our marriage can be vastly improved if she learns to express her feelings. My behavior will improve if I learn to take those expressions very seriously. She has the tools and knows how to use them. It’s just a matter of learning a new skill.

[Mrs. Lion — Lion is due for a spanking based on a conversation we had earlier. I made a statement, Lion said it was dumb (I’m simplifying) and took over the conversation. I tried to explain my statement but he was already fired up. I told him he was being difficult. Voices raised. And we were both frustrated with each other. Mr. Knowitall will get some paddle attention.]

Lion’s choice from the Box O’Fun was actually a card for Lioness choice. That means I can do anything I want to him. I could decide to do something on a card or I could make something else up. I’m sure Lion thought I’d head straight for the Velcro or tiny clothespins. Nope. We did Velcro recently, and there are plenty of opportunities in the box for clothespins of all sorts. I did something nice for him.

I grabbed the rope and tied his balls up. I didn’t get him hard first. I probably should have. I wasn’t really thinking about it. Since he likes being tied up, I figured my weenie would get in on the action in no time. It took a little bit of persuasion, but he got on board.

I had him lay across the bed for oral again. Once we figured out how to give me more room, that’s been my go-to position. I’ve always liked giving him oral sex and, now that I’m not hanging off the bed and uncomfortable, I can do it more often.

Ordinarily when I have him tied up, I pull on his balls to make things a little tighter. Last night I decided to tickled his tied up balls. I think he liked it. I got him pretty close. And with very little time in between tries, I got him closer and closer. And then he was done. Just done. That happens sometimes. We can be going gangbusters and then we’re done.

It’s not a problem. We both had fun and that’s all that matters. I wasn’t going for another orgasm so close to the last one. I could have, but why push it? It’s fun to play with my food. Lion will make another choice from the Box O’Fun tonight and we’ll start all over again. Of course, I’m not telling him if he’ll just get to the edge or if he’ll make it all the way. That’s classified information.

GMC commercial with the rude, possessive gesture.

Last holiday season GMC ran a commercial where a husband bought two trucks: one for him and one for his wife. He got her a smaller, red version and a larger, black one for himself. She decided the black one was hers and demonstrated her ownership by leaning against it with her hands pressed into the truck door. I found that commercial offensive because of the ungrateful, childish behavior of the woman. I was surprised at my emotional response to her possessive gesture. I don’t think I ever saw anyone do that before. I reacted on a visceral level.

Gently holding balls sends a strong possessive message.

I had no idea that a simple gesture would affect me so strongly. Then I saw another image (left) of a woman cupping a man’s balls. She was dressed and he was naked. I liked that gesture of possession. Obviously, the fact he was bare and she was dressed communicated her dominant role. Even disregarding that, her hand on his balls sends a primal and powerful message.

Of course, I like my genitals handled. That won’t shock anyone. There is a big difference between touching in order to arouse me and using a hand to demonstrate ownership. Just as the woman leaning against the truck with her hands flat on it sends an unmistakable message that she is staking a claim, a woman firmly holding a man’s balls sends the same message.

This is true whether or not he is naked. Firmly cupping the balls through thick jeans says the same thing. Anyone seeing this action immediately understands that she has sexual possession of him. Such overt displays aren’t considered polite in public. However, taking advantage of occasional opportunities when no one is looking, can be a lot of fun.

Given a choice, I would normally prefer to be sexually stimulated if Mrs. Lion had a hand between my legs. However, the ball grasp is good too. It tells me that she is proud I am hers. It makes me feel secure that she likes to demonstrate her sexual possession.

Most women, including Mrs. Lion, don’t even think of this. Too bad. I’ve experienced it a few times, both clothed and naked. Each time it sends an electric shock through me. The women who did it weren’t my partners at the time. They were having fun and reminding me of their roles. It worked.

One time I was at a BDSM play party. I was there as a top. I was wearing my leather chaps (Yes, straight men wear them too.). I had on black spandex tights underneath to cover my genitals and ass. A female friend of mine, also a top, came up to me to chat. She noticed the tights and cupped my balls. I was blown away. I instantly got hard, which she ignored. She just smiled, still cupping my balls, and said, “Nice pants.”

It was a small invisible-to-anyone-else gesture. I was deeply affected. I never looked at her the same again. She knew what she was doing. Even though I reacted sexually, it wasn’t a sexual gesture. I knew she wasn’t inviting sexual contact. It was far more profound.