In my last post, “Do I Really Look Like “Dear Abby?”, I said that I don’t answer specific  questions about male chastity devices and FLR. I didn’t say that the answers to almost all of them are right here. Here is a recent email from someone who says she is a woman with a boyfriend who wants male chastity.

“I have recently been asked to be a KH of a man who lives 3 hours away. This is all new to me and I am trying to learn as much as possible. He has been doing male chastity on his own for awhile and has said we will take it slow. But I am not sure how to do this long distance? If we were together or lived near each other I would know what to do.

Can you please give me any advice on how to proceed? I have started teasing him about wearing his key (I bought a symbolic key) when I have sex. Or sending him a picture of this key around my neck. I told him I will only wear it when he is caged. That all seems to excite him. Any other ideas? There is not much I have found about this. Or I just have not stumbled across it yet.

Thanks so much! Your journal has been helpful. And fun!!

Gee, we never talk about that here, do we? There is an entire section on the top menu addressing this question. Did this reader actually look at this website? Did h/she take the time to read the section, “How to cage your man?” Of course not. How much time would you put in to send a personal note to Jodi?

OK, how about this one?

I must have forgotten to address that subject too. Both of us have written hundreds of posts on this subject.

Sometimes the questions go a bit off-topic.



That’s not a bad question. It was a little surprising. Well, we have Hulu, Paramount+, Peacock, Discovery+, Disney+, ESPN, Max, Met Opera (a gift from Mrs. Lion). It’s a fair question. We subscribe to the Hulu live service so we get network shows and NY Giants games. I like to answer reasonable questions here in the blog.

I also get some mail that makes me feel very good. It’s letters like this that help me believe that blogging is worthwhile.

“Thank you for your detailed explanations with ED. I just had a radical prostatectomy a few weeks ago and now have ED. Sharing your research, experiences and results will help others like me.


That email made me feel very good. It also let me know that I’m not alone. I value that he took the time to let me know that my words actually reached him. Thank you!

I’m not sure how our readers think of us. I’m pretty sure that about half don’t think of us at all. These are the people who come from search engines looking for answers to specific questions. They are also the ones who I think are most likely to send questions demanding answers. I like to believe that the other half of our readers have become friends who enjoy following our lives. This group doesn’t write very often.

I suppose that makes sense. The pattern on the Web is read-and-leave. That’s it. We are a sort of newsletter that some people enjoy. That’s fine, of course. I never expected tons of responses. What we write isn’t the sort of stuff that draws many comments. I love the ones we get. It occurred to me that  Mrs. Lion and I aren’t quite real to our readers. We are like characters on TV. We exist within the limited confines of our blog.

When I miss a day or two of posting, readers either don’t notice or don’t care. There are other things to read. Of course, that’s fine. I don’t mind. Well, maybe I mind a little. Living in the Male Chastity Journal universe is a little lonely sometimes. If it weren’t for our reader statistic software, I might even think I was just talking to myself (and Mrs. Lion). The stats are good, and I’m glad.

I’m also grateful. It feels good to know that we may be helping some people have more fun in bed (and elsewhere). Keep those emails coming.

out for the count yesterday

I spent most of Monday in the bathroom. I won’t gross you out with the details, but let’s just say I hadn’t visited it in a week, and then on Monday, there was a lot of pain and difficulty. Anyway, by dinnertime the matter was finally resolved, and the pain was mostly gone. I didn’t get into my office at all. I didn’t even look at my email. I suppose that I should expect problems like this when we are dieting and Mrs. Lion doesn’t make many high-fiber stuff like salads. Those Lean Cuisine meals aren’t the best for tummy health.

Every so often someone writes a note in Contact Us talking about an experience they find significant. Of course, it’s always about some form of sexual control. Invariably it’s a fantasy that the writer expects me to believe really happened to him. I don’t spend a lot of time reading and I never respond. That’s not the point. I wonder why someone would take the time to create and send something like this?

I can see that the act of writing down a sexual fantasy might be a turn-on. Maybe sending it to someone you think will share it and expand on it, is even better. Why us? The fact that we are fairly public figures who write about male chastity and other related topics might be a partial reason. I could see it if a regular reader wanted to share. These people obviously don’t read the blog at all. I guess they Google “male chastity” or some similar topic and see our blog come up. Without bothering to read a line, they just click on the contact button or the comment button and off they go.

We don’t publish every comment submitted. I usually do the review and I delete anything obviously “junk mail”. The other day, some genius commented on a post in which Mrs. Lion wrote she gave me oral sex. The full text of the comment was, “Do you swallow”. The author failed to put a question mark at the end. Do inquiring minds want to know if Mrs. Lion swallows? They would know if they read our blog! For the record, she does and truly savors the taste. I will never understand that. She’s written about it a lot.

More significantly, I wonder what my wife’s culinary preferences have to do with male chastity, domestic discipline, or FLR? As far as I can tell: nothing. The relevant semen-eating question is whether I have to eat what I produce? That would be more in keeping with what we write about. The answer is that sometimes Mrs. Lion feeds it to me. Fortunately for me, it isn’t often because she wants it for herself. She recognizes the D/S value of making me eat it, but sees no reason to lose out on a treat just to demonstrate her power over me. The question about swallowing can be highly relevant if it is asked of the correct partner.

Another popular topic that gets deleted is spanking anecdotes. This is similar to the chastity junk mail I get. A typical one starts with: “If I drink and carouse too much with my male friends My wife paddles my naked butt when i get home.” Doesn’t everyone’s wife do that? Again, I can’t understand why the writer wants to tell us this story. Even if it were true, it contributes nothing to our conversation. All of our readers hear lots of true spanking stories that involve Mrs. Lion and my naked butt. We even provide photographic evidence.

I do get a chuckle out of some of this stuff. A lot of unintentional comedy ends up in the bit bucket. Keep the junk mail coming. Laughs are hard to come by these days.

You Cum Too Often, Cage Hurts, What’s With The Diapers and more

You Cum Too Much

Hey caged lion, you aren’t really into chastity. Just look at your orgasm log, you cum more than I do and I’m not locked up. I think you aren’t really into chastity.

–Once a week

Dear Once,

I’m sorry that you don’t get enough. Forced chastity isn’t necessarily abstinence. A lot of  people into forced chastity find them having very little sexual release. Others, like me at least for now, are getting frequent release. Forced chastity is about control. My cage effectively prevents me from getting off. Mrs. Lion, my keyholder, decides when and how I get release. Our agreement says nothing about how often I get to cum. We agreed that I will be locked into my cage 24/7 and that Mrs. Lion will decide when or if my cage comes of and for what purpose.

So far she has given me two sabbaticals from captivity, both to allow sores to heal. Each time she released me she also made me cum. In her words, “You may be a wild lion for now but you aren’t likely to want sex for a while.” She’s right. She blunted the edge of my desire. When she decided I was ready to return to captivity she locked me up again.

The point is that my penis is not under my control. Mrs. Lion owns it. It just happens to be attached to me. She and only she decides when she wants to take it out and play. It’s up to her to take care of her toy in any way she sees fit. I’m very happy that she owns it and that so far she has been quite interested in playing with it. Unlike you, I can’t decide to play with it myself. If I get horny I have to deal with it. I only cum at Mrs. Lion’s pleasure. That’s why it’s called chastity.

It hurts to be in my cage
Dear Caged Lion,

I’ve just gotten into being caged. I bought a CB6000S and have been experimenting with different sized cock rings. One of them seems to be the correct fit. I can just get one finger between the ring and my body. The longest I’ve been able to wear it has been for a few hours. The skin under the ring gets very sore and red. I just can’t keep it on.


Dear Chafed,

This soreness is not unusual with a new device or just taking up chastity. As you go about your daily activity, your body flexes down there. The plastic ring on the CB6000 is pretty “grippy”; there is considerable friction between the ring and your body. As a result, your normal movements force the ring to overcome the friction and irritate you. Some people use lube under the ring. That will temporarily alleviate the friction. Others try larger rings. That sometimes helps, but of course reduces security. In my case, when I started out with a steel device, I had a 2″ ring. After an hour or two one of my balls would escape.  I moved down to a 1 7/8″ ring. That stopped the escape, but I could still get two fingers under it. Finally, I went to a 1 3/4″ ring. It was pretty uncomfortable for a few days. I got quite red and hurt. Mrs. Lion had to give me a 24 hour rest. Eventually, it stopped bothering me at all as my body learned to live with the cage.

I suggest you consider going from the plastic to stainless steel. There are inexpensive cages available from China that can provide a pretty good fit. Be sure to measure carefully. See our measurement page for instructions on how to find your size. You can find the best prices and assortment on Expect to wait three to four weeks for your cage. If you are in a hurry, and ebay both list devices. In the meantime, try going up a ring size or two on the CB6000. You might also try pulling your scrotum skin back toward your body so there is a lot of loose skin between the ring and your abdomen. Some find this helpful. Lube isn’t really going to work long term. Also, take off the device and give yourself some time to heal.  Good luck!

Must I wear diapers?

Dear Caged Lion,

I enjoy your blog, but there is something I don’t understand. What do diapers have to do with chastity? Are you saying that in addition to being caged I should also expect to wear diapers?

–Staying Dry

Dear Dry,

Diapers have nothing at all to do with chastity. Years ago Mrs. Lion and I were experimenting with topping and bottoming (she was/is the top). One idea I had was to make me wear a diaper. At the time I figured that being made to wear diapers was a very clear signal of my submission. I wasn’t interested in being an adult baby. That just isn’t my thing. There was definitely a feeling of helplessness when I had to sit in a wet or dirty diaper until Mrs. Lion allowed me to change. All in all, neither of us really enjoyed it and we soon dropped that form of play.

When I asked Mrs. Lion how she felt about locking me up, she agreed because she knew I wanted it. She knew that I really missed bottoming. In fact, she said that she was considering putting me in diapers again since she knows that makes me feel submissive. I didn’t comment. I really prefer using the toilet. Shortly after locking me up she told me that she wanted me to wear a diaper from after work Friday until I got dressed for work on Monday. She said that I only had to pee in my diaper. I could use the toilet to poop. That was a relief. Of course I agreed.

After a month of weekend diaper service, I can say that it still isn’t fun for me.  I don’t really like to pee myself. However, having to wear them does, in fact, make me feel more submissive to her. Last night after discarding a wet diaper, I forgot to put on a new one. That earned me some swats with a very painful paddle. This amazed me. It’s been years and years since Mrs. Lion disciplined me. My butt hurt but my heart soared. That was just what I needed.

The key reason the diapers are going along with my chastity is that she knows I want to be locked up. She also knows that I would rather not pee myself. Both the chastity and the diapers to me are expressions of her control, but the diapers are her idea, not mine. That by itself is enough to give me the sense of submission I so badly wanted.

So, no I am not advocating diaper wearing as part of your chastity. It’s part of mine because it works for us.

My husband wants me to lock him up

Dear Caged Lion,

Your blog is great. Your section for keyholders helped me understand just what my husband wants. I was surprised and a little upset when he told me that he wanted me to lock up his cock. I thought he didn’t want to have sex with me. Now that I know more we have been talking about locking his cock. I now understand what he wants, but I am not sure I can do everything he says he needs. He wants me to control him and tell him what to do. He says that if I don’t please him, I should keep him locked up longer and not orgasm until I think he is being good. I’m a busy woman and I don’t have the time to be his nanny. I want my husband to be the man of the house. I am fine with controlling his sex life, but I don’t want to be his mommy.

–Not his mommy

Dear Not,

It sounds like your husband wants more than forced chastity. This isn’t unusual. I have fantasies that go far beyond our current activities. I think that is natural. However, he needs to understand that he is turning control over to you. That means he shouldn’t expect to create the scenarios that you do with him. He wants you to take charge. So do so. Tell him that you are okay about locking him up and controlling when he gets to orgasm. Ask him if he understands that you, not he will decide what else you control. You may expect him to be sexually aggressive and work hard to keep you satisfied. You may tell him that you want him to do more around the house. However, you don’t want to punish him. He has to be in charge of his own life. You might also let him know that if he is a good boy and makes you very happy, you might reward him by taking him out of his cage for some fun.

The key is to clearly communicate what you want and what you are willing to do. Ask him if he still wants to be caged. If he says yes, then lock him up and do things your way.

If you would like to ask Caged Lion, just click on the Contact Us link.We love mail.