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minestrone

It was my fault on Thursday night. I didn’t want a shot of Edex. We had a couple of issues with deliveries. I was expecting a CARE package from Katz Delicatessen in the morning. It didn’t arrive until a few minutes before 8 p.m. I wanted our dinner to be from the goodies I ordered. To further piss me off, the Instacart person who was supposed to shop and deliver needed groceries never showed up. Instacart needs a better way to handle things. They didn’t even notify us. We had to call them. Mrs. Lion had to redo the order. That didn’t arrive until after 9 p.m. All that static made me lose my erotic focus.

The groceries were ingredients for minestrone soup. I’m making a recipe from the “America’s Test Kitchen” website. It’s simmering on the stove now and smells delicious. Mrs. Lion took her lunch hour to get the ingredients out for me. We decided that with fall coming, we should start stocking up on soups and stews. We’ll probably eat a bowl of the soup today to see if it tastes good and freeze the rest.

I woke up horny this morning (Friday). No shock there. It’s been seven days since my last orgasm. Of course, I have no idea if Mrs. Lion will let me ejaculate. She does want me to do a shot of Edex. She promised to play at the least. Also, I forgot (again!) to send her a morning email. We both know what that means. Ugh!

My pattern with new rules is depressingly consistent. It takes a fairly long series of spankings before my memory is sufficiently imprinted with the need to do that particular chore. Maybe I’m not that bright. I know that Mrs. Lion is more than happy to oblige with increasingly unpleasant spankings when I can’t remember a simple rule. I guess there will be more blood on her paddles tonight.

The soup is done! We both tasted it and agreed it was good. Still, even though it is hot today (9oo F right now), we’ll probably do soup and salad tonight. We even have some Italian bread in the freezer to eat with it.

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You won’t be surprised to learn that Mrs. Lion made a point of spanking me as soon as I got out of the shower. I was not in the mood for a beating (Am I ever?). Mrs. Lion wasn’t interested in my mood. That’s also no surprise. As Mrs. Lion is fond of saying, “You asked for it.” OK, I did, and I sure got it.

For me, getting a spanking is very much like skiing. The idea is very appealing, but looking down the mountain at the tiny people below makes me doubt my sanity once I get off the chair lift. The same is true of spanking. I like to think about being spanked and feeling the control Mrs. Lion has over me. But once I feel the strap tighten around my waist and I know I can’t escape, I wonder what I got myself into.

I can’t claim ignorance. Mrs. Lion has spanked me many times before. Maybe it’s Spankheimers. Perhaps I can’t remember how miserable I felt the last time I rode the spanking bench. I remember thinking that I had to be crazy to put myself through this pain. It was absolutely no fun. I was angry at myself for forgetting to send that damn morning email to Mrs. Lion. I did not want to be spanked.

But Mrs. Lion was right. I did ask for it. I asked for all of it. Even though I hated what was happening to me  I didn’t safeword or withdraw my consent. I still haven’t. My very first BDSM play partner used to laugh at me when I squirmed and yelped. She used to say, “Stupid lion. You asked for this.” She would punctuate the sentence with a riding crop shot to my balls. For the record, her spankings were far milder than Mrs. Lion’s. I guess that makes me a very stupid lion.

Mrs. Lion doesn’t understand why I want things this way. I’m not sure I do, either. But I do. I need these miserably painful spankings. I need Mrs. Lion to be a relentlessly strict, disciplinary wife. We went through a period when there was no spanking or BDSM activity. Mrs. Lion saw a change in me. I was unhappy. It took me a while to realize that something was wrong. Maybe she saw it first. We began playing again and I felt better.

More recently, we learned that if too much time goes by between disciplinary spankings (the only kind I get; even if just for maintenance), I lose much of my libido and feel blue. My new morning email rule has furnished Mrs. Lion with adequate reason to tan my hide. I never purposely break a rule. That’s why I get maintenance spankings if I don’t get in trouble after a week or two.

Mrs. Lion hasn’t worked out maintenance spankings, I think. She makes them both milder and shorter than punishment. I’m grateful for that when I get them, but ambivalent other times. Shouldn’t they go a full ten minutes? Just how much do I need to recharge whatever part of my psyche needs these beatings? Maybe the quality of the maintenance spanking isn’t the real issue. I’m starting to think that the event chain of rule-breaking followed by punishment is what works for me.

If that’s true, Mrs. Lion’s job gets a lot harder. I tend to learn to avoid breaking rules after several punishments. That’s good in terms of training me but bad when it comes to providing the event chain I need. Maybe I’m overthinking this. I’ve been known to do that. Maybe I need Mrs. Lion to arbitrarily announce that I need a spanking and then deliver one. I think it might work if she answers my question of why she is spanking me to, “I feel like it.”

That may not make sense to her, but it does to me. I suggested “Just Because” spankings. She delivers them because she accepted my concept. I know that full well. It’s very different from breaking a rule. Yes, I asked for the rules. They were my idea. But the events that occur when I break one, are totally out of my control. The same would be true of a spanking delivered because Mrs. Lion decides I need one. She doesn’t have to give me a reason. See the difference?

The “Just Because” spanking is a loosely scheduled event that I suggested. I did not suggest or have any input on a “You need a spanking” beating. See?  It would be one hundred percent, Mrs. Lion. I’m pretty sure that she never really feels that I need a spanking. She probably can learn to cultivate that concept. It gets around any guilt or worry about spanking me for annoying her. She’s doing something we both know I need. The new need this approach would satisfy is my need to be excluded from even a shadow of the decision to spank me.  Lioness control.

What do you think, Mrs. Lion?

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spanked with erection
I

Thursday night was a bust in terms of sex. Mrs. Lion had a 5:30 PM doctor’s appointment. She brought home burgers and fries, a big treat for us. She also brought me a chocolate milkshake. Yum! When we finished eating, I fell asleep for a while. All those carbs and sugar put me out. OK, a burger treat is better than sex sometimes. Maybe we will try a boner shot again tonight (Friday).

Much as I hate to admit it, my spanking on Wednesday put writing Mrs. Lion a daily email top of mind. I’m a grown man, for goodness sake. Spanking is absolutely effective as a way to get me to learn or remember. If you strip away the fantasy/kink rituals some people attach to domestic discipline, it turns out to be a useful marital aid.

I realize that most people say that they are unwilling to consider adult spanking for any reason, yet a large number of adults fantasize about it1. The study reported that 36.3% of women and 46.2% of men specifically fantasize about being spanked. Fantasies about getting or giving oral sex scored much lower for both sexes. Also, the number of participants who fantasized about being more generally submissive was much higher.

What this shows is that there is a significant sexual root in spanking. I’m not surprised, but I imagine a lot of “vanilla” people might be. Of course, few of these people actually turn their fantasies into reality. That’s true of most fantasies, especially sexual ones. As I see it, there is a lot of latent interest in spanking for fun and discipline. Since virtually all of the people in the study who fantasized about spanking also fantasized about being submissive, it’s fair to say that converting a man or woman who has a sexual desire to be spanked into the subject of domestic discipline is very easy.

I can’t prove it since there are no studies I can find that cover this subject, but I strongly suspect that non-religious domestic discipline is rooted in the sexual fantasy of being spanked. So far, I haven’t come across any men whose wives proposed spanking them, I think it is fair to say that the men (and women) who get disciplinary spankings requested them. That’s how it worked with us. I asked Mrs. Lion to make and enforce rules. She’s become very effective in doing it. I’ve come to appreciate her consistent, strict enforcement. My behavior has changed as a result.

I’ve also noticed that a lot of the men who like to have “serious” discussions about their domestic discipline practices also hate to admit any sexual connection. There appears to be a lot of rationalization around “needing” help correcting behavioral problems. I accept that they wanted/needed help, but why ask to be spanked as the mode of correction. If we’re talking about adult punishment, wouldn’t time-outs, removal of recreational activities, and even writing assignments be at least as effective as spanking? Those punishments have no sexual component and as far as I can tell, are rarely used.

That appears to be evidence that the spanking sexual fantasy combined with the submissive fantasy are significant components of domestic discipline. I don’t see anything wrong with this. From our experience, spanking has been effective in my behavior modification. Even though there are sexual roots, it’s still very unpleasant and sends a message that has changed my behavior.

I doubt spanking or any other adult punishment will cure substance abuse or serious behavioral problems.  But at least it does get me to do my chores and avoid pissing off Mrs. Lion. It’s not 100 percent effective. But if Mrs. Lion seriously spanks me each time I forget, it resets my behavior, at least for a while. Over time, my misses get fewer and fewer. The threat of the paddle works on my unconscious.

Occasionally, one of the “serious” discussions of domestic discipline touches on the fact that sex seems to improve after a spanking. This confirms the suspicion that there is a sexual component to the practice. I’ve read accounts by at least two disciplinary wives that they believe it’s the sexual component to spanking that makes it easy to get their men into position for punishment. They confirm that once the punishment begins and it’s too late to escape, the sexual component is forgotten by their partners, and they realize they are being punished. In other words, it’s our sexual attraction to spanking that helps make us docilely get into position for punishment.

That’s embarrassing to admit, but it’s true for me. I should realize that the spanking I’m going to get will not be sexy or fun. It will hurt and make me want to escape. Yet, every time Mrs. Lion gets out the spanking bench, I mount it and let her strap me down and spank me. Stupid, huh? No, it’s the way I’m wired and my acceptance of my lioness’ authority. In a very real sense, it’s a dream come true.

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1Joyal, C. C., Cossette, A., & Lapierre, V. (2015). What Exactly Is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy? The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 12(2), 328-340. https://doi.org/10.1111/jsm.12734

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ferrule paddle on lion's butt

I need to look for my paddles. I have a shoe caddy hanging on the back of the bedroom door. It used to hang on the closet door, but it’s difficult to open the closet with it on, so I moved it. The problem is the back of the bedroom door is not convenient. Now, I put my paddles on a shelf near the closet. They get all jumbled up with other things, and I can’t find the one I want when I want it. That did not deter me from spanking Lion.

There are still many paddles to choose from. I’ve been starting out with a wooden paddle with a heart-shaped head. I don’t hit hard because I’m just trying to wake his buns up. This was before I started the timer, which I remembered to set for ten minutes. When I started hitting for real, I switched to a leather paddle.

After the leather paddle, I found a silicon paddle. It feels light, but I’m sure it doesn’t feel light to Lion. It has a nice spring back so I don’t have to move too much to deliver an effective swat. At some point, before I even switched to wood, he started to bleed. How rude! I grabbed a few tissues to blot the blood and continued on my quest for red buns.

Since he was already bleeding, avoiding wooden paddles was unnecessary. The paddle I was looking for, with tread tape on one side, was nowhere to be found. Too bad. I made do with the bloodwood ferrule and the thick spoon-shaped ones. Lion will probably say I more than made do.

I gave him quite a few single bruise-inducing swats toward the end. It rarely works. For all his yelping, bruising him is very difficult. He has a few sore spots, but I doubt they’re bruises. I shall keep trying.