Lion has written a lot about his need to be spanked. He’s also written about how spanking affects him with regard to rules. He almost never spills food on his shirt. When the coffee pot rule was in effect, he almost never forgot about it. Does this mean that Lion is motivated by spanking?

Of course, we know he loves thinking about spanking, whether it’s an upcoming spanking or a spanking in the past. The ghost of spanking past and the ghost of spanking future, if you will. He’s not so happy about spanking present. His fondness for the activity disappears when the spanking bench comes out. It’s understandable that actually going through the pain isn’t as much fun as thinking about it.

The problem seems to be that I have no real motivation to spank him. I know it helps him. I know he likes it. I know he needs it on a certain level. I, however, have no need or like for spanking. It’s easy for me to push it off till tomorrow or tomorrow’s tomorrow. My sole source of motivation is making him happy. And that’s usually enough.

If we wait too long between spankings, it’s easier to forget to do it. Lion lets me slide for a while before speaking up. Actually, it’s me letting him slide. I let his forgetting to get his pills slide because one of us isn’t feeling well or it’s been a really long day or it’s too cold/hot. I say I’ll do better. I need to do better. I need to get back on a rhythm.

We’ve tried doing “Just Because” spanking. We’ve tried having me spank him on specific days. Since the move, I’ve really been slacking off in both spanking and orgasm departments. If I’m not unpacking, I’m thinking about unpacking, or putting up the curtains or the pictures, or finding a specific item that I swear I just saw in a box somewhere. I let life intrude too much.

I don’t know what the answer is, obviously. I just know I need to give him more attention, whether it’s pain or pleasure.

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