The only problem with having warm weather is that it makes me feel like I have to take advantage of it and mow the lawn. The lawnmower was a challenge to start for the first time this year. It usually is. My goal was to finish the front lawn and take a break. I failed. It’s 80 degrees (I didn’t know it at the time), and I needed a break early. I’ll head back out after a rest and a long drink. After a rest and a long drink, I need to mess around with the air conditioners when I get back in. Yay.

I’m very glad that Lion doesn’t want to play with pee. It’s certainly not the most disgusting thing I’ve heard of, but I don’t want to do it. Lion said I must have thought about it because I want more power. I had that theory too. I’m not so sure. I know he wants me to feel powerful, but I don’t. I could always have yelled at him for interrupting me. I didn’t need his permission. Yes, I’m gun shy from my ex. Yes, I am one of the most non-confrontational people you’ll ever meet. (Except at work. I have balls of steel there. People always tell me that something I said will get back to the person I said it about, and I always tell them I’d say it to her face. They were very surprised when I actually did it once.) [Lion — This is exactly why I keep encouraging Mrs. Lion to demonstrate her power. It’s been nearly 20 years since she had her ex-husband pushing her around.]

Anyway, I don’t think I was looking for more power or a way to show Lion my power. I have plenty of ways to do that already. I think it popped into my head, like when you remember someone you went to school with or playing a game with your grandmother. Memories do that to you.

Today is the third day after Lion’s orgasm. I assume he’ll be getting horny soon. He may be now for all I know. I’m not sure what shape I’ll be in after mowing the lawn, but we can snuggle, and I can fiddle around with my weenie. He likes being petted even if I don’t do anything else as long as I don’t touch the balls. Rubbing them puts Lion to sleep. I’ve seen videos of people putting alligators to sleep by rubbing their tummies. I guess Lions and alligators have similar things in common.

This morning, out of the blue, something popped into my head that I haven’t thought about in many years. A long time ago, Lion and I went to a Black Rose event near D.C. One of the workshops we went to was on water sports. The presenter peed all over her assistant. I have no idea why I thought about it. I didn’t get it then and I don’t get it now. I will say that we tried it once.

I did not pee on Lion. I “made” him drink my pee though. Yup. It still sounds disgusting to me. On the other hand, I’ve heard that if you’re stranded somewhere with no water, you can drink your own urine. But only for about a day. Then it becomes too concentrated with waste. Again, why did I think about this? I have no intention of making Lion drink my pee again. [Lion — Good!]

Maybe, in the back of my mind, if you’re looking for a Freudian reason, I was thinking about being in power. You’d have to have a certain amount of power over someone to pee on them. I guess that’s the “why” of it all. Not why I thought about it. Why someone would allow themselves to be peed on or be made to drink pee. Ultimately, that’s the “why” of most things we do. Nope. I still don’t get it. I tend to balk at people who try to assert power over me. Every day I go to work and I prepare to give in to the latest round of B.S. and less than an hour later I’m fighting it.

I don’t necessarily think I’m sticking up for myself. I’m the person who hears everyone saying things around the office and is willing to ask the questions other people won’t. “I’ve heard X” or “What happens if Y?” I’m the trouble maker who says what no one else will say. Maybe it’s because I don’t have any real power that I don’t understand relinquishing it. I certainly wouldn’t allow someone to pee on me.

In the end, it all comes down to me overthinking things. Why ask why?

I have a freshly orgasmed Lion. Well, he’s a little stale. It’s been almost 24 hours. He waited eleven days, which doesn’t seem like a long time, but we had some challenges this time around. I hope that’s behind us now and things will settle down.

I do have one issue, however. I’ve mentioned before that Lion tends to move his hips as he gets closer to the edge. I guess it’s a glass half empty sort of thing. I get a little indication that he’s getting closer. But I also get a change in angle of his penis in my mouth. I thought I was far enough up last night. I even readjusted to make sure. Either I slid down or he moved even more than other times. It’s not a huge deal, but it does add some stress to my neck and whether my teeth stay behind my lips. I’d think the teeth thing would be of particular concern to him. Who wants to get bitten during oral sex? I know. There are probably people out there who do. I’m willing to bet Lion isn’t one of them.

Once I noticed him doing it a few weeks ago, I solved the problem by holding his balls. If I’m pulling down, he’s less likely to move up. I thought this was a brilliant fix. The problem is that I don’t always want to pull on his balls. Sometimes I like to tickle them. Sometimes I like to move my finger around like I’m heading for his asshole. Both might increase his squirming.

I have no idea why he’d suddenly start doing it. Or did he suddenly start doing it? Maybe he’s been doing it all along and I’ve just noticed it now. Did I change something that makes what he’s doing more pronounced? Clearly, more information is needed. I guess he’ll have to let me suck him more. Poor thing. I’m sure he hates being the subject of my experiments. (Did I roll my eyes out loud?)

Poor Lion. This time I mean it. I’m not making fun of him for being horny or for asking for punishment when I know he doesn’t really want punishment. Oh, he wants it, but he doesn’t want it at the time. Anyway, he’s poor Lion because I haven’t been able to edge him sufficiently lately.

I had every intention of giving him an orgasm last night. He was snoozing before dinner so I delayed my shower in order to play with him early-ish. I don’t think I ate all that much but I was still full and I knew I couldn’t suck him. I pulled out some clothespins (regular ones, no frills) and applied them in a stripe. I got him hard and kept playing with him while I pulled on the clothespins and eventually removed some of them one by one. He was hard but I knew he wasn’t going to get very far because of my position next to him. I was just too uncomfortable to move.

Eventually I had to stop. He wasn’t getting any further and I didn’t think he would unless I could figure out how to hit the good spots. I was tempted to suck him anyway, but I knew that would be a huge mistake. I told Lion I couldn’t continue. I need to make it up to him. There have been too many miscues lately. Most of them have been my fault. First I was trying to stop taking my anxiety drug, dealing with the withdrawal and now I haven’t been feeling well. For all I know, it’s my body reacting to stopping the medication and restarting. It must be confused. Wait a minute. We just got rid of this crap and here it comes again.

Tonight, I am determined to give him an orgasm before dinner. Rest up, Lion. We’re playing early. Snooze before I get home so you’re ready. Fair warning. Relief is in sight. I’m looking forward to a creamy appetizer.