Oops! The coffee maker wasn’t set up this morning.

As I was spanking Lion last night, I asked if he’d ever been spanked two nights in a row. We decided the closest he’d gotten was twice in three nights. I guess streaks were made to be broken. He forgot the coffee pot again. The thing is, I thought he went in to do it. I swear he went into the kitchen last night. I must have imagined it. Maybe it was wishful thinking.

Since I’ve been working from home, we usually make a second pot of coffee. I’m usually the one who makes it. I put the coffee pot together, pour our cups, deliver them to our desks and then go back to wash out the coffee pot and filter basket so that Lion can put it back together for the morning. And I did all that. I know it wasn’t put together when I made dinner. I don’t remember looking after that. I was sure he did it. Is there a gremlin in the house who took it apart again?

Just before going to sleep, Lion said his butt hurt. I said it was good, and maybe he’ll be more careful what he says and how he says it. I never thought about the coffee pot. Would I have reminded him if I knew he’d be in trouble again so soon? Maybe. I’ve reminded him in the past. I’ve also not reminded him in the past. Is it fair for him to be punished just one day after being spanked? Why not? If he were caught speeding two days in a row, he’d probably get two speeding tickets. Rules are rules.

Of course, I could find another way to punish him. He hasn’t had to sit in the corner in a long time. He hasn’t had to hold soap in his mouth. Those are add-on punishments, but there’s no reason I couldn’t combine them. It would spare his buns. But should I spare his buns? He did earn his punishment. I could see if he was punished yesterday for the coffee pot, and today he pissed me off, and I decided to let him off with a warning. But it’s the coffee pot. Again. That damn coffee pot gets him in so much trouble.

As I said, the dog trainer was here on Wednesday. In addition, our microwave quit–we depend on our microwave quite a bit. Lion decided we needed to replace it immediately, so he ordered one online for pickup that night. As soon as I was done with work, I went to get the microwave and pick up dinner. I decided the new rules for the dog would start the next day.

Thursday, I started changing things for the dog. I was working, but the way she’s fed and other commands were relatively simple to do. We (read that as “I”) have to clean up her toys, put them away and only bring one out to play with her. That toy is put away after we’re done playing. Lion and I think this is too strict. We decided to leave one or two toys out for her all the time. Otherwise, she’ll go after our shoes. Again, I was working. Lion asked if I could do the crate training after work, and I agreed.

This morning, the dog was bringing toy after toy to me so we could play. Lion said he thought I had put the toys away. I said I was working and hadn’t done it yet. To which he said, “It won’t work if you don’t put her toys away. What were you thinking?” Excuse me? What was I thinking? I told him I thought I was working and then crate training her. When did I have time to put the toys away? Ironically, Lion says he’s less dependent on me for day-to-day help. I think I’m still doing most things. But, apparently, I don’t know what I’m thinking.

Also, ironically, I should be working right now, but I’m trying to get this down while it’s still fresh in my mind. I’m annoyed. What was I thinking? Right now, I’m thinking Lion just earned himself another spanking.

Lion wearing his shock collar for Zapardy.

Our puppy is a lot of work. Puppies generally are, but this one is a lot more than most. We have to teach her not to be afraid of going into her crate. I have to clean up all her toys and only allow her one or two at a time. She has to be tethered to one of us at all times, so she learns who’s in charge. It sounds like she’s grounded and can’t go out to play until she learns not to break curfew. Of course, this is a big change for us too, but we’re spending a lot of money to have our lives turned upside down, so we better do what we’re told.

[Lion — To be fair, the reason for all this fuss isn’t that the dog is being difficult. We hired a professional dog trainer to help us. All the toy removal and tethering is part of the training boot camp she needs. We haven’t started that yet. Until next Wednesday, we will be helping her learn to accept her crate and our authority. She is doing very well. We are both impressed with her changed behavior.]

I won’t say working from home is more distracting than being in the office. I think there are different kinds of distractions, and I have to learn to ignore them like I learned to ignore distractions at work. However, none of my coworkers nudged my arm for me to pet them. The biggest problem is that I have a backlog of work, and there’s no one to help me. That would have been true no matter where my desk happens to be, but it is pretty stressful. Perhaps training the dog when I have a lot to do at work was a bad idea, but we had to do something with her.

I didn’t write a post yesterday because the dog trainer was here, and that just sucked even more time away from my day. What I would have told you is that not only did Lion get his buns whomped Tuesday night, but he also got his balls zapped. We played Zapardy. It’s been such a long time since we played, I forgot how few zaps he can get. If he doesn’t answer a question correctly, he gets a shock. The problem is that he has the option to skip answering questions he’s not sure about. It’s conceivable that he could escape the entire game without getting zapped. While it is fair, I don’t think it really follows the spirit of the game. I’ll have to fiddle with the rules to ensure he gets the shocks he needs. More correctly, the shocks I need him to get.

His spanking was a success. He was yelping, but he managed to stay still. One of his straps started to slide down and almost went down his legs. That’s what happens when you have no butt to keep it up. It’s also why his pants fall down without suspenders. As much as he hates them, he either has to have butt augmentation surgery or wear suspenders. A Kardashian, he is not.

When I played with my weenie last night, Lion didn’t seem interested. As a matter of fact, he fell asleep. I can take a hint. I stayed snuggled close, so I didn’t wake him, but I gave up trying to arouse him. We’ll try again tonight, hopefully with better results. I know he thinks he’s horny, and he may very well be, but that doesn’t necessarily translate to an erection. It’s a good thing I like to keep trying.

So far, working from home has been an adventure. The dog needs attention. The lion needs attention. In all fairness, many things happened to need attention, which required Lion to ask for my help. Plus, with two days off for Thanksgiving and already being a little behind in my work, I am now two days and then some behind in my work. One of the reasons I was behind was helping another department, so my boss was not upset. Another annoyance is that the payments I was working on would not balance. And then others decided they wouldn’t balance. I was chasing my tail for a long time. It was the perfect storm for my first day of working from home.

It surprised Lion and me that our football team actually won on Sunday. I think that prompted Lion to watch the Seahawks. They aren’t his team, so he has little use for them ordinarily. When the Giants are having a losing season, it’s usually nice to watch the Seahawks because they normally have a better season. Not this year. They both suck. Actually, the Giants have one more win than the Seahawks at this point in the season. We’ll take any bright spot.

The dog/people trainer comes back tomorrow, so I have to clean up around here again. In my spare time, of course. I’m impressed by what he’s shown us so far. We have a way to keep the dog from getting too crazy. If we can stop her before she gets frantic, she can calm herself down. Of course, she still managed to go nuts twice yesterday. Both times were when we were in the middle of something. She’s clearly an attention hog.

Lion is something of an attention hog, too. He thinks I don’t do things with him because I’m not interested in sex for myself. I think I’m too stressed. If I wanted sex, I think I’d be too tired and frazzled to do anything about it. It’s a common complaint among men. The wife is too tired after working and taking care of the house and kids to spend time with him. Yes, we had a four-day weekend. No, that didn’t stop the house and kid (dog) from taking up my time.

Now that I work from home, I don’t have my commute to help with de-stressing. It wasn’t a very long commute anyway, but I’d listen to music or an audiobook or be quiet and think. Obviously, it didn’t do too much to de-stress me. I need to figure out how to be less frazzled. I’ve thought of meditation and tai chi. Both require time and, to some extent, quiet. Not happening.

Okay. Back to Lion. If I have time after cleaning up and cutting the dog’s toenails, I’ll bring out the spanking bench and whomp his buns tonight. I bet he thinks I forgot. Nope. Well, I did for a day or so. I thought of it yesterday, but then as I was trying to make the bed, we discovered the dog chewed a wire so that the bed won’t adjust, and Lion called Sleep Number customer service, which was a whole fiasco in itself. And I still had to change the bed.

I even thought about doing Zapardy last night. Then dinner was delayed, and Lion fell asleep during Wheel of Fortune or just after Jeopardy started, so we didn’t. Of course, if he’d been wearing the shock collar, I could have, ever so rudely, awakened him with a zap. Wouldn’t that have been mean? I would have vibrated him awake. A shock would have been too much.

So, in review, I have a lot to do before even thinking about having fun. Does that make Lion a chore? No. Think of it this way: I have to finish my homework before going out to play.