We had another wind storm, although it was far less gusty than the last one. Lion said we might lose power. Luckily, being the procrastinator I am, I never put stuff away from the last power failure so we would have been in good shape. The second I put stuff away is when we’ll lose power again.

Last night was Lion’s turn to beg off from sex. His stomach was bothering him. I made a big meal including a salad so we were both stuffed. Instead, we held hands and watched TV.

The other day, Lion wrote about the importance of punishment spanking and how each of us views it. I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong when he points things like that out. I know he’s not saying I’m wrong. I just feel it. It’s like I’m letting him down. Why can’t I just feel X like he wants me to? I guess the simple answer is that we’re wired differently. If, hypothetically, we couldn’t be together anymore and were forced (by whom, I don’t know, it’s hypothetical) to choose other partners, I would be fine with a vanilla partner. Assuming I had any sex drive, that is. I don’t think Lion would do well in a vanilla relationship. We’ve tried it a few times when he assured me he’d be fine without kinky stuff. He was climbing the walls in no time.

However, I do agree with his idea that our different views of punishment are the reason there haven’t been many (any) new rules. I see it as a game, I guess. For that reason, the trivial rules work for me. Yes, it’s nice not to have to set up the coffee pot every morning. Yes, it’s nice not to have to backtrack to grab Lion’s pills from the closet. But is it really a problem? No. I still can’t wrap my head around punishing him for annoying me. There are always extenuating circumstances. I also have a hard time punishing him for interrupting me. Again, there are degrees of interrupting.

I guess I would lump annoying me and interrupting me together. There are times he interrupts and I can just raise my voice to tell him I was going to say that as he interrupted me. If he’s been interrupting me or annoying me and it’s the last straw, I might punish him. I guess it’s really like a kid. You can only take so much before you snap. For me, raising my voice is a big step. I never used to let Lion know he was annoying me. I’m not sure what the next step is. Maybe it’s letting him know he’s on the brink of punishment. Maybe it’s actually punishing him. Maybe it’s both, at different times.

I’m still trying to get to the point that I think punishment is good for our marriage. Will I ever get there? I have no idea. I guess, if it makes Lion happy, it’s good for our marriage. I know he’s good for me.

Once I was all wet in the shower, I realized I hadn’t spanked Lion. Damn! Oh well. When I got out, I got the spanking pillow and selected a paddle. I purposely didn’t let him see the paddle. He kept trying to sneak a peek, but I had it behind my legs.

I didn’t start out hitting hard. I thought I was gradually increasing how hard I was hitting, but Lion was howling. Has his hide been softened because I haven’t been spanking him much? I told him I wasn’t hitting very hard and he disagreed. So then I told him I could hit harder for comparison. He did not like the comparison swats. Poor thing. I kept going at the harder level, with him yowling and then there were a few blood spots on his right cheek, and maybe a bruise forming on the left. But I wasn’t done.

Sometimes I hit him harder in sets of five swats on each cheek to end the festivities. Sometimes I do very hard swats one at a time to alternating cheeks. Last night was a very hard swat one at a time kind of night. (By the way, I told him he looked like he was getting a bruise about halfway through. And we did talk about how hard the swats were. So if he says I was silent, you have my permission to call him out.) I don’t think he was a very happy boy when I was done.

I know with a painful spanking, it sometimes takes him a few minutes to process things before he’s ready to talk. When this first happened, I thought he was mad at me for hitting him so hard even though he told me I should hit him harder. I needed him to tell me we were okay. Once he explained what was happening, I felt better. I don’t always remember at the time, though. Maybe that’s another reason it would be best for me to spank him before I shower. Not only would the pain subside, but he’d have some time alone to process it.

I’m sorry to say, it seemed like Lion was well on his way to an orgasm, or the edge at the very least, but my neck was hurting. He was not really across the bed, so I had to turn my head while I was sucking him. It was an awkward angle. If he’s across the bed, it’s easier for me. But then his head isn’t supported very well. We’ll need to figure this out or one of us will always be uncomfortable. Maybe the spanking pillow can do double duty as a wedge under Lion’s pillow. It’s worth a try.

The only “strenuous” activity I remember doing yesterday was crawling under Lion’s desk to track down which cable went from the scanner to the computer and why it wasn’t connected. It wasn’t particularly difficult. It’s not like I haven’t been on the floor multiple times over the past few days. And it didn’t even bother me at the time. I helped get the corned beef going and made sure it was at the correct heat level to accomplish a low boil. We were watching football. (I hate, hate, hate Tom Brady, by the way.) And I got a headache. I have no idea why. I managed to help with the rest of the dinner, but I was pretty wiped out.

Lion snoozed through some of the later game. It was his usual after-dinner nap. I took care of the dinner dishes late, and then we snuggled a bit. Lion wasn’t looking for love. He just wanted to be close. I was not up for spanking him. I probably should have done it earlier in the day, but I didn’t. At the rate I’m going, he’ll forget the coffee pot again before I punish him for this last time. I’m hoping I remember to do it tonight before my shower. Then he’ll be able to recover for a little bit, and we can still play.

The other day, I remembered our spanking stool. I could have Lion sit in the corner after I spank him. I wouldn’t make him sit there the whole time I was in the shower. I could set a timer and trust that he’d wait for it to go off before he left the corner. The problem I have with it is that Lion’s balance has been off. I don’t know if I want to take the chance that he’ll fall. At the very least, I should be there while he sits so I can help him if he needs it. We’ll certainly discuss it, but I think, for tonight, the stool is out.

We also haven’t revisited anal play since I shoved the small nJoy up his ass last week. I don’t know why but it seems like a lot of work. It isn’t really. Worst case, I can shove the butt plug in and leave it for a while. Training him will indeed take more effort, but we have to start somewhere. Maybe I need the training more than he does.

Step 1) Get off your ass.
Step 2) Shove something in Lion’s ass
Step 3) Move it in and out
Step 4) Repeat the next night.


There’s a meme going around Facebook that says “Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life”. It’s true. It’s also true that if you have any person, animal or thing dependent on you for anything, you can’t have a day off. Ever.

I spent one or two hours putting something together yesterday. I was crawling around on the floor, in strange positions tightening bolts, using one of those this-step-is-this-picture instruction booklets. I got to the last step, which seemed largely cosmetic to me, and I couldn’t figure it out. I was willing to forget it, but Lion said it must be necessary. So I struggled for another ten minutes before I figured out how it worked. It may have some benefit other than cosmetic but they could have given a few more clues.

Between bringing the camper home on Friday and lifting and lugging and strange positions of yesterday, I put off Lion’s spanking again. I would have been perfectly happy to crawl in bed and stay there. But, see above. Lion was cooking the pork chops so that was off my plate, but I was in charge of the potatoes and asparagus. Not a big job, but still not huddled in bed under my nice weighted blanket. Even if he’d cooked the whole dinner I still would have had to bring the tray in or clean the table off so we could eat in the kitchen. Speaking of which, I know it’s been weeks but I feel like I just did a big clean up around here. It’s like things multiply to fit the space. Well, to overflow the space actually. It’s pretty frustrating.

I am happy to report that the dog has been fed, the plants have been watered, and the Lion has been fed breakfast. And now it’s time for lunch. Huh. See above.

Lion is still having trouble getting to the edge. I know his shoulder was hurting a lot so I’m sure that added to things. I told him I’d get that orgasm sooner or later. Is it bad that I may want it more than he does? I don’t know that he doesn’t want one. He may be wavering between I-want-an-orgasm-so-bad and why-the-hell-can’t-I-get-there. And that certainly doesn’t help. We’ll get there. I’m willing to keep trying as long as it feels good to Lion.