Lion has been talking lately about conditioning. He wants me to get him to a point that some task becomes a habit for him. For example, if I want him to do the laundry, I need to remind him the laundry needs to be done. I need to get him to accept that as his job so that every weekend he sorts the laundry, puts the loads in the washer, changes them to the dryer, and puts the clothes away. All without thinking about it. Just like breathing.

I’m having a problem with this. I’d have to find something that I want him to do. It’s not that Lion is perfect, but we share the chores. It’s true that we each tend to do the same chores over and over (Lion cleans the toilets. I feed the animals. Etc.), but there’s nothing I need him to do specifically. He doesn’t have a problem with leaving his shoes in the living room or missing the hamper. He doesn’t need to be reminded to take the garbage out. That’s why most of our rules are silly. I don’t want to change Lion.

The other problem I have with his saying he wants me to condition him, is that it seems obvious to me that he’s been conditioning me for years. Doesn’t he want me to be comfortable with punishment? Doesn’t he want me to do mean things to him without a second thought? Doesn’t he want me to feel that I have control of him? Yup. He wants me to “internalize” it. He wants it to become second nature. In all the discussion about his not wanting to top from the bottom, I don’t see how he can’t. Until I am fully conditioned to want to do the things he wants done, I’m roughly following his lead. He may not be actively directing the show, but Lion is the reason the show must go on.

Now, I’m not saying I want to stop. This is a consensual arrangement. I’m merely trying to explain that I’m being conditioned too. And that, ultimately, he is topping from the bottom to some extent a good portion of the time. I do see that Lion has good intentions. He wants me to have power so that I will be stronger in other areas of my life. He wants me to stick up for myself at work. He wants me to feel like I can do anything. I’m more of a go-with-the-flow kind of person. That annoys Lion. He thinks I don’t get what I want that way. He’s wrong. I got him that way.

I’ll have to figure out what I want to change about Lion. There has to be something he does that bothers me. It will probably be something silly like spilling food on himself. I’ll just have to keep my eyes open.

Mrs. Lion and I have written quite a bit lately about discipline. I know, based on comments and emails, that some people are surprised that we have adopted domestic discipline. I’ve been thinking about this decision as well as the one to adopt enforced chastity as well.

Much of what I’ve read about domestic discipline suggests that it generally originates when there is a behavioral issue that can’t be corrected any other way. You know, things like excessive drinking, bad manners, sloppiness, etc. I can’t see any guy agreeing to, much less suggesting DD if he has these problems. Similarly, the supposed cause for enforced chastity is the need to stop excessive masturbation, porn watching, or cheating. Again, since we know that virtually all enforced chastity begins with the man suggesting it, these causes seem unlikely too.

Speaking for myself, interest in both came from sexually arousing thoughts and fantasies I’ve had for years. The idea of being spanked has turned me on as long as I can remember. It never occurred to me there had to be a reason I needed to be spanked. I was simply turned on by the humiliation and intimacy of the spanking, at least in my fantasies. I’ve also had a lifelong fondness of bondage. When, as a child, I played cowboys and indians, I wanted to be the character who was captured and tied to a tree. Enforced chastity is penis bondage. That’s what initially turned me on.

Those were my motives for asking Mrs. Lion to do this stuff with me. At least, I thought that was why. Now I realize that my requests were based on a much deeper need. The root motivation for both domestic discipline and bondage (enforced chastity) is the need to be controlled. Control turns me on. More specifically, being forced to obey is the big turn on.

That’s what separates me from someone who is a submissive. He likes submitting and serving. I like having to obey and facing consequences for failing. The key is that I am made to obey. Mrs. Lion has been wondering why I like the idea of being conditioned to unconsciously do something she wishes. I think that is the ultimate form of enforced obedience. Choice is completely eliminated.

Of course, choice is eliminated when I am locked into a chastity device. . No wonder I like the idea so much! I’ve noticed that I like being locked back up as soon as Mrs. Lion finishes using my penis. She felt she was being kind by letting me remain wild until I have the last pee of the evening. I prefer to get right back into the cage. Similarly, I prefer her to be strict and inflexible in terms of enforcing obedience. That fits the model I have wanted all my life.

Standard D/S labels don’t apply to me. I have a dominant personality in most areas of my life. Nevertheless, feeling Mrs. Lion’s authority gives me a warm sense of being loved. That’s just how I am wired. On Monday night I got an unexpected spanking for unauthorized weenie touching. Fair enough; guilty as charged. It wasn’t terrible as Mrs. Lion spankings go. But it was heart warming as well as butt warming. She noted and punished the offense without any input from me. Wow!

One thing I forgot to mention from the other night’s sleeping pill-induced sexcapade, was that while Lion was unlocked he tried to get himself hard. It was one of those things that you see, but you don’t believe you’re seeing so you’re frozen and unable to do anything about it. Plus, I thought he was really sleep sexing and had no idea what he was doing. Yesterday he assured me he knew exactly what was going on the entire time. Oh, really? So that means he knew he was jerking off. He knew he was touching my penis for other than peeing and cleaning purposes. Well that will never do. I informed him he was in trouble for it. He said he was trying to help. Uh huh. Sure. Too bad. He was in trouble.

After dinner, I had to do something on my computer. I said I’d be back to take care of the dinner dishes. Not ten minutes later I heard him doing the dishes. I wondered if I just imagined saying I’d do them. Was he really doing them despite what I said? He insisted he was helping. He also insisted that I never told him not to do the dishes. Damn. He got me on a technicality. OK. I’ll let that one go. I’ll have to be more specific in the future. But I still had him for touching my weenie the night before.

Just before I went to take a shower, I got a paddle and told him to roll over. Sometimes I ask him what he did before I start swatting. He’s supposed to know. It’s his job to keep the list up to date. Last night I told him what he did. To me it was a big infraction. He is absolutely not allowed to touch my weenie for sex. It’s my weenie. I’m the one who decides when it gets to play. I made sure his butt was red and sore. I think he got the point. I don’t want any more slip ups in this area.

I don’t think he was looking to get me upset. In his mind I’m sure he was helping. He needs to remember to keep his Lion paws off my property.

Sunday night was momentous for me. We played in our dungeon. Mrs. Lion wrote about that yesterday. But the big event didn’t come until much later right before bed. Mrs. Lion let me give her an oral orgasm. It’s been more than a month of Sundays since I have been able to pleasure her orally. In fact, it’s been years.

Mrs. Lion attributes my sexual interest on a sleeping pill I took. That’s not the case at all. Something clicked inside of me. She was lying naked, next to me in bed. I was very close to her and, well, her nipple was in easy reach. She didn’t object to me playing with it. So, I did. I was caged so that my penis was completely out of the picture.

I asked her if i could do more. She agreed. I started with a finger and then asked if I could use my mouth. Agreement again. This was my lucky day. My tongue was busy and Mrs. Lion was having some fun. This is a wonderful change.

I wonder if the fact my penis was locked up had any effect on Mrs. Lion’s interest in sex. I don’t think so. It seemed to me that she wasn’t thinking about my cock at all. I wasn’t thinking of it either. I was completely focused on her and her pleasure. That’s as it should be.

Mrs. Lion mentioned that I was talking about conditioning with her. Truth be told, she didn’t seem very interested at all. That’s too bad. We’ve both been mastering the tools to do this. I don’t expect her to train me to do odd things, but I do think that it would be a very cool form of control for her to condition me to behave in a given way. Yes, I know that she doesn’t really like having control. But has it, she does. I’m not terribly fond of being controlled. Then why are we doing this?

The fact is that our power exchange has made amazing differences in our relationship and with our individual growth. It helps me to surrender control. I think it is very good for Mrs. Lion to assume it. We’re at a sort of tipping point. With just a little more strictness, Mrs. Lion will have me at the point where I can really feel her power and be on my best behavior nearly all the time. After my evening with the training collar, I realize how much happier I am when her control is strong.

This past, long weekend was full of promise. Mrs Lion played with me in the sling. The night before, she used the wrist restraints attached to our headboard and she applied menthol rub to my balls. We did some anal play and a play spanking as well. it’s been so long since we have done any of those things.

I’m very happy Mrs. Lion has started again. I hope it won’t be another month of Sundays before my next chance to provide pleasure to my lioness.