Lion and I both hit the door running to get ready for our trip. He had his list and I had mine. His list must have contained fewer time-consuming tasks because he was done fairly quickly. I was in the middle of mine and I had an idea for a post so I tried to quickly write it while the laundry was drying.

We had decided on dinner with no mention of who would cook it. As it took longer and longer to write my post, still waiting for the laundry, Lion started cooking. He’s a very good cook and I was thankful that he took the initiative. Who knows when we would have eaten if I had to do it.

My post was done, the dryer buzzed, and I got the laundry folded just as dinner was ready. Perfect! We make a pretty good team.

Earlier in the day Lion had gone for more tests on his leg. Despite two doctors’ doom and gloom scenario, the news was good. He had been uncaged for the tests and after he took his shower he asked if I wanted his cage on. We hadn’t played in a few days. I was letting him recharge after my attempts at edging him resulted in ruined orgasms. He was ready. No cage yet.

I was about to oblige when I wondered why he thought play meant he was the one that would have fun. Before I could ask he snuggled in and started playing with me. After three or four (it could have been six-I lost track) orgasms he stopped and asked if it felt good. Um, yeah!

When I could finally sit up I started playing with him. I was mad at myself that I hadn’t been able to edge my Lion correctly the past three times I tried. I kept going too far. For some reason, after the last ruined orgasm, I decided that Lion should only have an orgasm inside me, vaginally or orally. I knew right away that was unsustainable but I guess I thought it was one way to challenge myself not to allow him to come.

At any rate, I successfully edged him. I almost told him if he didn’t come he would get a reward but I didn’t want to put any pressure on him. The pressure was on me. I wanted the reward too. I had decided to ride him if I could edge him three times. After the third time I asked him if he wanted a reward and, of course, he said yes. So I hopped on and let him come inside me.

Later he asked why he got a reward. I told him it was because he gave me orgasms and then we were successful at edging. He said those things were more of my doing than his. He may be right. I guess we both got a reward.

man begging woman
How you ask to be locked up is more important than her answer. Remember you are giving her control, not telling her what you want her to do.

(Friday, May 30, 2014) There is no more important question in forced male chastity. The most common fantasy is that the keyholder demands that the male get locked into a chastity device (cage). The reality is that the vast majority of men practicing forced male chastity either lock themselves up or ask their partner to do it. If you are a lone male, you clearly don’t need to ask anyone. But if you are in a relationship, the question is more difficult. I suspect most males are like me; they have had hot fantasies about being locked up and controlled.

Since you can expect your partner to ask you why you want your penis in a cage, you should probably consider how you will answer. I think it is a mistake to give an account of your fantasies as your answer. I really couldn’t give a very good reason to Mrs. Lion when I asked her. I just said that it is something I have been thinking about for a long time and I find it a big turn on. Would she be interested in locking me up?

That prompted a lot of questions. I tried to answer as best I could. Since I have written a lot on the subject I had a pretty good idea how I thought it would work. I told her how I have always wanted to give up sexual control. She already knew that I like her to top me. After a brief chat, I was securely locked in. I know Mrs. Lion didn’t fully understand my expectations. The truth is, I didn’t understand either.

So, if you are ready to have that all-important chastity chat, I suggest you consider these points:

  • Keep it simple. Talk about what you want her to do to start. Avoid going into great detail about how your chastity will evolve. Remember, once you are locked up, she decides what happens next, not you.
  • Give her some suggestions on reading material. This site has a lot of useful information for a new keyholder. I suggest you steer her away from sites that feature solo males and fantasies. Nothing will scare off a new keyholder faster than the extreme fantasies you can find on the Web.
  • Ask her what she thinks. Get her to talk about how she feels about what you propose.
  • Let her know that once she agrees to lock you up, she decides what happens from then on. Make sure that she understands you aren’t leading.
  • If she agrees, choose your cage together. It will be hard for her to feel ownership if you just present it all to her.

Be prepared for her to ask for time to consider your request. That’s a very good sign. Give her the time and space to decide how she wants to proceed. If you have been reading the Journal, you know that Mrs. Lion is evolving into her role as keyholder. It is new and not totally welcome in her busy life. Over time she is discovering the benefits to me, to her, and to us. In the beginning she agreed out of love for me and her understanding of my need for her control. Over the last few months, we are both discovering how forced chastity is enhancing our lives on multiple levels.

You and your partner will need the time too. I suspect that impatience kills more chastity opportunities than anything else. As the potential caged male, you should be grateful if she agrees to lock you up. Don’t pile on more requirements in the beginning. Remember, you have been thinking about being locked up for a long time. This is all new to her. It may take her several months to even approach the activities you dreamed about. If you can’t wait that long, you may end up never enjoying being caged. Above all, remember one key point: Your keyholder owns your cage and what lives inside it. She and only she decides what happens to it. That is the essence of forced male chastity. If you can’t accept that, you probably aren’t ready to ask her to lock you up.


lion's collar
Lion wearing his collar. I prefer his cage. He can’t take it off and wears it all of the time. Of course, it doesn’t have a tag like his collar. Maybe  I should add this tag to his cage.

A long time ago Lion wore a collar. It had tags on it that identified him as my pet and my phone number so if anyone saw him being naughty they could contact me. He mostly wore it at home so there was little chance people would see him in it much less see him being naughty. I didn’t really care if he wore it or not. It didn’t mean he was any more or less my pet. I always thought the collar was silly. From my point of view, the only thing it did was to provide a place to tie the rope that bound his balls. His cage is different.

Why? Why would the cage be any different from the collar? No one sees the cage either. Is it because he has no choice but to wear it once it’s locked on? Is it because it renders his penis useless to anyone but me except for the purpose of peeing? What is it about the cage that makes me want him to wear it? I think I’m more invested in it. I’m not sure if that’s because of our new-found communication or the sex it brought; or maybe it’s the blog which has helped us work things out. I just know I want my Lion to be caged. Somehow it makes me feel closer to him. Maybe, unlike the collar, the cage makes me realize he is mine. We wear wedding rings and he’s always told me he’s my pet, but maybe the cage seals the deal. Is it the location of the cage versus the collar? I never worried that Lion was going to stray. I never knew he masturbated frequently. There was never a reason to be overly protective of my property.

Then I hit upon something that makes me a little uncomfortable to admit. What if it’s because someone else made him wear a collar once before? She also made him eat from a dog bowl, which struck my as silly too. Why does that realization bother me? I’m not exactly sure, but it did make me sit back for a few minutes to think about it. What else am I doing or not doing because the little green jealousy monster is lurking around? Maybe it’s not even jealousy. Maybe I just like the cage because it is ours. As far as I know (and please don’t burst my bubble of naivete, Lion) no one else has ever caged him. No matter how many people have spanked him, flogged him, pegged him, had sex with him, this is something that is just ours.  It’s fine if I like something just because it’s ours. It’s less fine if I don’t like something because he did it with someone else.

I’ll have to consider my potential little green jealousy monster further.

No one ever caged me before. You are the first, my dear lioness [Lion]

clothespins on penis head
Tiny, dollhouse clothespins on the head of my penis are incredibly painful, yet I stay hard as a rock while I suffer. Click image for a larger view.

Okay, boners are a strange topic in the Male Chastity journal. But it is something, that for me at least, keeps coming up. I couldn’t resist the pun. Erections appear for two main reasons: sexual arousal (my personal favorite), and involuntary nocturnal erection. While I am in my cage, an erection doesn’t get too much opportunity to express itself. The head of my penis presses against the side and end of the cage and the cage itself moves away from my body. The result is nothing like the uncaged boner, but it is unmistakable. My cage isn’t painful when I try to get hard. I am not awakened when I have one in the middle of the night.

painful clamps on scrotum
Even though I have very painful clamps on my scrotum, I have a raging boner. Go figure! (click image for a larger version)

My problem comes when I am out of my cage. When Mrs. Lion teases me I get nice and hard and react appropriately as she arouses me to the edge of orgasm. So far so good. But when I am pushed a bit too far (ruined orgasm), my boner is gone and won’t come back, at least within a half hour or so. This surprises me. My understanding is that a male usually retains his erection or gets it back immediately after a ruined orgasm. This may be an individual issue or perhaps due to my age. It is inconvenient for Mrs. Lion when she accidentally pushes me too far. I guess in this case the problem isn’t my boner, but my lack of one.

Another time when my boner gets me in trouble is when Mrs. Lion is applying clothespins or other painful pinching devices to my balls. I really want them off! The problem is that my cock contradicts me and stays rock hard even through the most intense pain of all, tiny doll house clothespins on the edge of the head (see photo). This situation reminds me of a scene in the sitcom “Becker,” in the scene a teenage boy is complaining that he gets erections at odd, often inconvenient times. He says, “I even got one doing chores around the house. Now my mom thinks I like doing them!.” It’s hard to convince Mrs. Lion that I am in terrible pain when my cock is rock hard. It really hurts, but obviously part of me really likes it. Good thing Mrs. Lion usually ignores my whining. In fact, one of the hardest things for me to do is to stop complaining when something hurts. She and I can both see that my penis likes what she is doing.

In some ways, being caged offers the opportunity to avoid the performance  pressure of being hard when I think I should be, but for some reason I’m not. It also can be very frustrating when I am highly aroused and can’t express it. When freed, my boner gives me problems too. It betrays some inner enjoyment of sensations I think I want to stop. How can you take my complaints seriously when you can clearly see my arousal? Boners can be a problem for a poor old lion.