By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Regular weekends fly by too quickly. I think a four day weekend is just right. Of course, by tomorrow morning I’ll be saying the weekend just flew by. It did. Why didn’t I do the laundry yesterday? Why didn’t I mow the lawn yesterday? Why did I wait until the last day to do everything? It’s what I do. Luckily, the laundry can chug along while I do all the other things.

One of the things I actually did was spank Lion. He said he needed it. I said I’d do it. And I did it every day but Friday. I’m planning on trying Lion’s idea of grabbing his balls while swatting him today. I have no idea if it will work. We aren’t the most graceful people in the world. All we can do is give it a shot. I’m game.

Dinner took longer to make than expected. When a recipe tells you to cook a steak for 3-6 minutes per side, don’t listen. Lion likes his steak medium rare. I like mine completely dead; no pink. It took forever to get them done. As a result, we didn’t play. I did spank him. He was a wimp, for the record. I guess he has a sore spot. Whine, whine, whine. Maybe you should request spanking every other day then. I did get him nice and pink before I gave him a break. I wasn’t really even hitting hard. Poor Lion butt.

Tomorrow, supposedly, some guys will be here to finish our deck that has been half-built since last October. The first guy walked off the job and the landlord has had a hard time finding someone to complete it. Fingers crossed. I don’t know if they’ll bother Lion but I’ll allow him to be dressed since we have huge windows on the side of the house facing the deck. Only I should have a Lion peep show.

Tonight, before we go to bed, I’ll lock Lion away in his cage again. I know he misses it. That is, until he has it on and then he’ll say he’d rather have it off. In that respect he’s like the dog. Let me out. Let me in. Let me out. Let me in. Never quite happy with the way things are. Once he gets past a day or two he’s settled in and comfy. With regular respites out for play, there’s no reason he can’t be in it for weeks at a time.

[Lion — It’s true that I have a few sore spots. Mrs. Lion did take it easy on me last night and I’m very grateful. I suppose I’ve missed being in my cage. Though it is fun to be wild.]

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

There are times when I wonder what we got ourselves into when we began enforced male chastity. Obviously, I’m no stranger to it. You might not know it but I’ve been aware of it for more than 20 years. Through most of that time I’ve considered the idea exciting, but had no real interest in subjecting myself to orgasm denial and sexual control. The simple truth is that I am not organically submissive. I simply don’t get off by being an obedient beta male.

You may wonder what I’m doing in a Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) practicing enforced male chastity. Sometimes I wonder too. Obviously, the fantasies portray men in my situation as getting their joy out of serving (sexually, usually) their female dominant. Most of the blogs I read that are written by men in situations similar to mine echo that same theme. However, I believe there are plenty of guys like me.

I started thinking seriously about this after reading a couple of posts on a blog intended for men in domestic discipline relationships. The topics weren’t particularly pointed, but the tone and the comments the blog attracts tell a story a lot different than most of the stuff you find on the Internet. I’m intentionally being a bit obtuse. Don’t worry, I’ll clue you in on how to find this blog before I finish this post.

You would think that a blog dedicated to domestic discipline, or as I like to call it FLRD, would be all about misbehaving guys and the painful indignities they suffer as a result of their behavior. That’s the way most of this stuff generally reads. I know that Mrs. Lion and I don’t write that way, but most do.

What interested me was that the blogger, without explicitly saying it, made it clear that he gets punished because it’s something he wants. He doesn’t enjoy being spanked. Neither do I but it’s clear he’s glad his wife punishes him. People’s comments seem to share that same point of view. I certainly do.

It could be that I am reading more into this than I should. I thought about that for a long time. I’m sure I have it right. I’m equally sure that regardless of their protestations to the contrary, pretty much everybody wants the punishment they get.

I’m sure that some people who read what Mrs. Lion and I write about my spankings and other punishments, will infer that I am in an abusive marriage. I suppose that if I didn’t ask for it, and instead was receiving beatings as a way of subjugating me, they would be right. It isn’t so much what happens to me. I’ve been in the BDSM scene for decades. I may not like it at the time, but I welcome the spankings Mrs. Lion gives me.

If I never asked for them and receive them because Mrs. Lion unilaterally decided she should spank me when I displease her, then those very same spankings would be considered serious marital abuse. I find it pretty hard to believe that there are many wives out there who would punish their husbands without consent.

I’m also pretty sure that most husbands, who like me ask for the discipline, would have a lot less fun if we had to keep admitting we were getting exactly what we want. As I have mentioned before, the only real difference between the BDSM play spanking and domestic discipline is intention. In this respect FLRD is no different than enforced male chastity. A chastity device acts as a way to “force” the man to provide unselfishly to his keyholder. It’s just more exciting that way.

The same is true with spanking. Mrs. Lion doesn’t need the pretense of rule breaking to spank me. In fact, this weekend I’m being spanked because I asked for it. I didn’t break any rules or disobey. The spankings are no different. I just think it’s more exciting if I don’t control when I get spanked. Giving Mrs. Lion a “reason” to paddle me extends the drama.

It also turns out that spanking with a reason can also change my behavior in a positive way. I know that neither of us thought that was going to happen when we started.

Anyway, the blog I referred to earlier is the “disciplinary couples club“. This blog has a somewhat different spin on FLRD, or if you will, domestic discipline. Very interesting bunch of people often comment to each week’s post. I find this blog helpful because the people in it have the same sort of disciplinary relationship that Mrs. Lion and I have. I truly enjoy the different perspectives.

By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Orgasm, Rules, Spanking

I don’t think the title is absolutely correct. The consequences were foreseen. Anyone in their right mind would say, “Duh! You had to know that could happen.” And I did. But I didn’t mean to do it. I’m talking about Lion’s accidental orgasm last night.

My intention was to get him very close to the edge. It worked. And it worked well. It usually does when I give him oral sex. The second I touched him with my tongue he gasped. And we were motoring right along. I edged him a lot. Then I went a little too far. And I knew I was going to but I pushed my luck. And, apparently, Lion pushed back. I don’t mean he actually pushed. He just got over the edge and I didn’t want to leave him with a ruined orgasm so I took him the rest of the way.

We figured out afterwards he’d waited five days. That number really has no meaning. Sometimes five days seems like a long time to him and other times it doesn’t. I do know he was very horny. Even without a spanking or being locked in the cage, he was horny. Maybe he’s over his slump. I have no idea if he’ll be horny as soon as today or not. It seems to me that’s the perfect time for another spanking. Either the spanking will make him horny or he won’t particularly want the spanking because he isn’t horny. Obviously I’d like it if it makes him horny. But if he’s in no mood for a spanking, I don’t care. He’ll get one anyway.

For the second Saturday in a row, Lion remembered it was punishment day. Who says you can’t teach an old lion new tricks? He’s learning. Maybe it’s time to change things up again. What if I moved punishment days from Monday, Thursday and Saturday to Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday? Hmmm. That would give him something to think about. I don’t know if I’ll do that. It’ll give me more to think about as well. I’d probably forget more than he would. Nope. We’ll leave it. I’m sure I can come up with some other rule for him to follow…or break, as the case may be.

By:
In: Lion's Journal

happy lionsAfter a few years of a Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD), there really isn’t a lot of new stuff happening. The same is true of enforced male chastity. Orgasm denial doesn’t have a lot of variation. It’s true that in our case, at least, we try different male chastity devices and we have an ongoing effort to successfully adopt corporal punishment. We write about both.

We also write about how these practices integrate into our marriage. In the beginning, it’s easy to let the novelty of spanking, edging, and chastity hardware take center stage. Fortunately for us, we recognized early on that if we were going to do these things permanently, they had to fit in with the much more important aspects of our relationship.

For one thing, Mrs. Lion would need to feel a decent measure of comfort doing all these things. Most difficult, I think, was learning to punish me. It’s a pretty big leap to understand that she has to hurt me to make me happy. Once she understands that, then she has to learn how to put it nto action.

I understand that reading about spanking and fantasizing about it turns a lot of people on. Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of overlap between the people who get off on spanking and those who are fans of enforced male chastity. That means we aren’t always pleasing all of our readers. It’s true that this blog started out talking about male chastity. Our relationship drifted in the direction of Mrs. Lion being in charge of more than sex. As it did, our writing followed along.

At this point, the combination of FLRD and orgasm denial work seamlessly for us. That doesn’t mean we’ve integrated our disciplinary relationship with my enforced chastity. The opposite is true. Sex or the withholding of it are never rewards or punishment. I think this is a good example for vanilla couples. It’s entirely too easy to transfer arguments into the bedroom. Sex can be a very powerful weapon. It’s also very destructive.

Mrs. Lion controls when and if I get to ejaculate without any regard to what else is happening in our lives. If she or I are tired, she will put sexual activity on hold. That makes sense to both of us. She gets genuine pleasure out of making me very horny. She loves giving me orgasms. She has to figure out how to balance those two pleasures.

At the same time, she enforces her authority with her paddles and other unpleasant punishments. It’s not uncommon for her to spank me severely, soap my mouth, or make me sit in the corner and then an hour later tease me until I beg for release.

One of the best things about FLRD is that there is a mechanism to express anger and then let go of the bad feelings. It’s not easy to do this. Mrs. Lion is working on it, but she still has a way to go. When lioness 3.0 finally gets here, I think she will have managed to finally master this important skill. Equally important, is that I get to understand that once I’m punished for something, I need not feel any guilt. I’m confident that if I repeat the offense, my punishment will be much more severe and eventually I will learn my lesson.

I don’t think either of us seriously believed that spanking and FLRD would have a significant impact on our relationship. From the very start, we’ve been happily married. There are times I’ve upset Mrs. Lion. When I do, it’s very hard to get her to explain what I did before she forgives me. Fortunately these are rare events. Now, with our disciplinary relationship it’s becoming much easier for her. That means it’s better for me. She understands that she has the tools to change me for the better.

There’s no question that I’m happier as a result of all this. I love the power exchanges. I really like to get spanked; at least anticipate getting spanked. And I like knowing that Mrs. Lion has a path to correct me when I upset her. Believe it or not, the stuff really works.