Lion says his buns are still sore from his spanking the other night. As you can see in the image above, after two days, he’s still marked. I guess I did a good job. I don’t think it was the meanest spanking I’ve ever given him, but it was certainly more ferocious than anything in his recent past. I think I was trying so hard to avoid making him bleed that I backed off too far. No more. Blood be damned. [Lion — This spanking was a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10. See this link for the image.]

Having said that, there’s still the problem of not having many rules. The only two that he consistently breaks are the coffee pot and the shower door. Well, those are the only two I spank him for. He should get spanked more often for being a know-it-all and for interrupting me. He just did that a little while ago. Why can’t he just shut up until I’m done talking? Nine times out of ten, I would have answered his question or made the same point he interrupted me to make if I could have finished my thought. I definitely let him get away with that too much. On the other hand, if I spanked him every time he did it, neither one of us would get anything else done. [Lion — If I actually got spanked when I do it, I doubt it would take long for me to learn.]

Maybe the problem isn’t not having enough rules. Maybe the problem is that I don’t enforce the ones we have. I’ll need to shorten my fuse on Mr. Know-It-All and Mr. Interrupter. I think it will be tougher to break him of those habits. He can set a reminder for the coffee pot and punishment day. He’ll have no way to remind himself not to interrupt. I guess that’s what the paddle is for. I’ll have to start lifting weights to strengthen my arms for all the impending swats.

Of course, I say this knowing I talk a good game. I’ll either swat him for the next week and forget again, or I won’t swat him at all. It’s my modus operandi.

Lion does not need to be waxed. He’s a little scruffy. but not bad yet. He could easily wait a few weeks, but I can do it next Sunday if necessary. My whirlwind trip to my daughter’s graduation is Thursday to Saturday. The oddity of flying to the east coast is that I leave very early in the morning and arrive in the evening. Between the time change and the six-hour flight, I lose a whole day. Conversely, on the way home, I leave in the evening and get home only three hours later. Ironically, these very short trips don’t seem to create jet lag. By the time my body realizes I’ve changed time zones, I’m already home. Anyway, Lion will be without me for less than three days.

I was very nice last night. Probably too nice. I allowed him to set up the coffee pot even though it was well after the five o’clock cutoff. I probably should have swatted him. Apparently, his spanking from the night before was too lenient. I only made his buns rosy. I didn’t attempt to make him feel it long afterward. Maybe I learned a lesson too. No more Mrs. Nice Lion. I need to spank until both my arm and his butt are falling off for it to be effective. It seems ridiculous that I have to suffer, but if it’s the only way he’ll learn then so be it.

It’s been a long time since I’ve applied IcyHot to Lion. Maybe it’s a reaction to being too nice, but I think I need to step up my game again. I threaten to do IcyHot and Lion whines and I let it go. I need to follow through. From time to time he reminds me that I’m in charge and I should do what I want. I know he regrets that as soon as I bring out a paddle, the IcyHot or those nasty little clothespins. However, he asked for it. Whose fault is it if I give him what he asked for?

Lion came out of his office yesterday afternoon saying he felt very unsteady. He wobbled his way to the bed to rest for a while. He was concerned about not setting up the coffee pot. I told him not to worry about it. His feeling better is more important than the coffee pot. I’d be right near it while I made dinner. I could certainly do it. I thought he snoozed for a bit, but he said he just had his eyes closed. He seemed better by the time I was done with work. Not completely better, just not as bad. By dinner time, he was even better.

After dinner, he said he could set up the coffee pot if I wanted him to. I’d already done it. I give him a pass when he’s not feeling well. I’m not a monster. I don’t beat him when he’s already down. Obviously, this rule is not crucial to the survival of the species. Neither of us will die if it takes a few more minutes to set up the coffee pot in the morning. Lion doesn’t do, or not do, anything that really needs to be “fixed”. Even his rule not to interrupt isn’t a deal breaker for our marriage. It may annoy me, but I’m not going to leave him because he interrupts or acts like a know-it-all. These rules are in place to give me a reason to punish him.

I guess when you get along as well as we do, you have to set up silly rules if you want to practice domestic discipline. If he seriously annoyed me, I’d talk to him about it. I may follow it up with a spanking because that’s our arrangement, but we’d talk first. It takes a lot to seriously annoy me. I do like to point out when he’s being sort of a know-it-all. My daughter is going to be renting an apartment and when we looked at the floor plan, Lion wondered who would make the bedrooms so small. I don’t think it’s a bad apartment, especially for a first apartment, and given how many people have apartments that size for their whole lives. Then we looked at an old apartment he used to live in. The bedrooms were about the same size. He said that’s because the lot was so narrow and this had to be this way and that had to be that way. Uh-huh. Sure. And then he said her apartment is in a bad neighborhood as if that makes the bedroom size worse. Nope. Sorry, dude. That argument doesn’t fly with me. [Lion — We looked at a loft I owned in Greenwich Village. When I owned it, the bedrooms were quite large. Newer purchasers had renovated and created very small rooms.]

Anyway, Lion is feeling better and we’re off to a quick doctor’s appointment for him this afternoon. Then maybe we’ll make it to get our booster shots.

Maybe.

That damn shower door got Lion again. I went in the bathroom before dinner and noticed it. He was upset with himself. However, his shoulder was hurting a lot, so I told him I’d let it go this time. If he forgets it again, especially if it’s tonight, I won’t be so nice. Of course, I forgot to lock him up again, so I’m no better at remembering things. My excuse is that we didn’t play at all because he didn’t feel like it even after his shoulder stopped hurting. He doesn’t get an excuse.

Both of us need to get our acts together. I can’t very well unlock him every other night if I never lock him. I also can’t let him off the hook for breaking rules. He has to be on his toes, so he doesn’t break any rules. I won’t always be as forgiving as I was last night. Well, let’s face it, I will be if he’s hurting. There’s really no reason to hit him while he’s down. I know he won’t fake pain just to get out of a different kind of pain. He needs the spanking too much.

I think he just put the coffee pot together. Now he just needs to remember the shower door. I tend to close it right after I get out since I’m already holding the handle from opening the door. I also try to make it a point to look at it before I leave, to make sure it’s closed. The dog gets wet enough going out in the rain. I don’t need her getting wet in the shower. Lion also used to turn the shower on, then go to put his slippers away, letting the water warm up. Ever since the dog ran in and got drenched, he’s been closing the door right after he turns the water on. Of course, the dog reminds him because she makes a bee line for the bathroom when she hears the water. He likes to tell her she’s too late. Maybe she needs to point out he forgot the door afterwards by slapping him with a wet paw.