Lion spilled food on his shirt yesterday. I owed him a spanking, but I forgot. No problem. It was pushed to today. Maybe I should have done it when he reminded me last night. He spilled food again today. He would have had rare back-to-back punishments.

Did I have an inkling he was going to re-offend? No. I just forgot. I’m debating now whether to do the regular ten minutes or add five minutes because it’s two offenses. Assuming I remember, I’ll decide when I’m setting up the spanking bench.

This morning, I was trying to work out a schedule for Lion to use the treadmill. I didn’t want to make him do 30 minutes right off the bat, but I wasn’t sure what a good lead-up would be. He said he starts out slow and works his way up. I don’t need him running marathons. I just want him to do it.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask Lion to use the treadmill at least twice a week to start with. He can start out with one minute if he needs to. I know how difficult it is to get started. I’ll do my part by keeping the area around the treadmill free of boxes and other stuff. As he gets going, we can increase the number of days per week I expect out of him. I don’t think I’ll set a length of time. He’s a big boy. He can do as much or as little as he wants. However, if he consistently does as little as he wants, I may revisit this.

His leg has been bothering him so I don’t know when he’ll start, but once he does, he’ll need a good reason not to do his two days a week. I gave his leg a short massage, and he said it felt better. I think he just liked being touched. I’ll give him another one if it will help get him on the treadmill sooner.

Our Nutrisystem order is stuck in Troutdale, OR because of the weather. One big problem with living in western Washington is that they don’t do adverse weather well. Before we moved from New York, I had a boss who had lived here. He told me it never snows and it never gets above 80 degrees. As we were leaving New York, this area flooded so bad people were advertising houses as “lakefront” property. A year or so after we moved, it hit 100 degrees. A year or so after that, we got snow that crippled the area. Sure, Michael. No snow, no heat, no memory.

I guess we won’t be starting our diet tomorrow. That gives us another day of trying to figure out what’s for lunch and dinner. Breakfast isn’t so bad. We have lots of choices for that. Dinner is the problem. Lion says the problem is that I don’t know how to cook many things. I can certainly follow recipes. Who’s been cooking for the past few years? If he was starving, he wouldn’t need to go on a diet. Any time I’ve asked for suggestions of new things to cook, he doesn’t respond. That’s why I set out on a meal plan search.

Lion suggested he be punished if he doesn’t lose weight. I’m not sure about that. Isn’t it somewhat easy to lose the first five or ten pounds and then you can plateau? He may follow the diet to the letter of the law and still not lose weight. Should he be punished? I think it would be more appropriate to punish him if he cheats. I’m assuming there will be days we just want to cheat. Let’s call those sanctioned cheats. We’ll both agree to take a break from the diet for a specified length of time. For example, we might eat out one night, or decide to have birthday cake for dessert, or that Super Bowl Sunday is cheat day. He won’t be punished for that. But if he decides to sneak a candy bar and he gets caught, he should be punished. I guess the operative phrase is “gets caught”.

Unless more diet-related rules pop up, that should be his only punishment for dieting. We’ll have to see how it goes.

Lion is (justifiably) yelling at someone on the phone. He’s been trying to get his account fixed for days and they keep telling him to do the same things over and over again. He’s been incredibly patient with them. I hear him explain the situation, then I hear him sigh and explain he’s tried that many times. I am proud of him for not going ballistic. Perhaps I had something to do with that. Has the don’t-be-rude rule had an effect on him?

I’ve been trying to clean up a little more around here. Lion would like me to get rid of things still in boxes from our move. He theorizes that, unless it’s a keepsake, if we haven’t used it in three years we are not likely to need it. I had the living room all cleaned up and then brought things in from the camper when we sold it. That stuff has been parked all over the place, but a lot of is in the living room. I’d like to clear out the living room even though I doubt we’ll ever sit in there. A lot of the stuff can be tossed and some of it can go to Goodwill. No matter what I concentrate on cleaning, Lion will be able to move around the house more easily.

I decided to give Lion another night to recover. He’s reminded me today is punishment day. I wonder if he’s up for swats. I found the camper paddle while sorting through things. It’s the paddle that shows which end is his and which end is mine. I hung it on the refrigerator in case I need it in a pinch. I don’t normally swat him in the kitchen unless it’s a love tap. The paddle is more symbolic than anything. It’s just a reminder to keep him in line.

I decided before we sat down to watch football that I didn’t want to play our football game. It’s a good thing. The Giants lost. They looked horrible. Not only that, but the quarterback was sacked a few times. Spanking on top of the loss would have added insult to injury. I guess that’s always a risk. Did I have some premonition about the game? Nope. Based on the win-loss record, our team should have won. However, I did think it was going to be a struggle. Most of the other teams they’ve played have had worse records, and our team barely won. I don’t know what made me not want to play the game, but I bet Lion is happy about it. [Lion — Yes I am!]

I spent the morning trying to figure out flights, hotel, and rental car for a trip in December to see my son graduate as a physician’s assistant. He’s in the army, and he’ll almost immediately be shipped off to Hawaii for the remainder of his training. I know. The sacrifices he has to make. Sunshine. Surfing. It’s terrible, but he and his wife are strong. They can handle it.

Yesterday, I wrote about Lion’s new rule. I haven’t figured out exactly how to apply it. Do all comments count? There was a lady on The Price is Right whose boobs bounced when she ran down from her seat. It looked like she’d knock herself out. Was I wrong to say that? Would Lion be wrong to say it? These kinds of rules bother me. It’s a judgment call. Who am I to judge? If I wait for Lion to really piss me off, then I tend to be too pissed off to want to do anything about it. It’s stupid, I know. Of course, this means he goes unpunished. I may be better off with the rule about leaving the kitchen light on. That requires less judgment. It’s either on or off.

[Lion — Is the kitchen light a rule? Yes, it’s easier to enforce. The other rule is more challenging but also more useful for both of us. My answer to Mrs. Lion’s question about how to enforce any rule is to punish any infraction no matter how small. There’s no other way either of us will learn.]