I finished trimming the top of the hedge this morning. My arms are a little Jell-o-y but not as bad as yesterday. After asking me how I was doing, Lion sighed and said he guessed I wouldn’t be waxing him today. Whine much? Unless I am physically unable to move my arms, I’ll wax him later.

I’m not sure how I feel about Lion’s post from this morning. I knew he got a new toy. I knew it was for masturbation. But I didn’t know he’d try it himself. Usually, I’m involved in the process of anything like that, especially since he’s not allowed to masturbate. He’ll say he’s allowed to touch himself as long as he doesn’t get near the edge and he’s right. I did tell him he was allowed to play with himself idly, and it was okay if he got hard in the process. Of course, I meant if he was sitting at his desk and his hand wandered. I didn’t mean he should purposely do it. I’ll consider that a reasonable misunderstanding. A few weeks ago, I proposed Lion be able to masturbate in front of me and with my permission. He didn’t like the idea. He thought it was a slippery slope. So why would he think it was okay to try out a masturbation toy without me? [Lion — Maybe I was wrong. If it’s easier to let me jerk off, why shouldn’t she have me do it?]

It’s not that I’m always a fan of trying out his discoveries. I did wonder about the Fleshlight, and we got one to test. Then he got another similar toy. And another. And I’m all for trying new things to make things more satisfying for him. (I draw the line at adding another person, just for the record.) Some of those things work, and some don’t. But we test them out together. I guess I’m just surprised we didn’t with this one. Maybe I need to make a rule that I have to be asked if I want to help him try out a new toy. I didn’t think we needed one, but clearly, we do. I don’t care so much about chastity devices. If he wants to wear it long-term, I do. Just to test out fit or to take a picture of it, he can do it independently. But I have the first right to refuse to test a new toy with him, especially masturbation toys.

Lion, no doubt, will be surprised by this revelation. I’m not sure why. The masturbation rule has been in effect since we started male chastity. While I did give him some leeway recently, I certainly didn’t mean he could run with it. I hope we’re on the same page now. [Lion — OK.]

I find myself feeling a little frustrated. I knew a punishment spanking wasn’t the be-all end-all cure for what ails Lion, but I thought it was a start. When I tried to play with him last night, he said his tummy was a little off…and maybe we could play a little earlier today. Well, which is it? I mean, it could be both. I’m not accusing him of lying. Maybe playing earlier will avoid the tummy upset of a big meal. And he’s been asking to play earlier for a long time so that’s not new. Maybe it just let the wind out of my sails a bit after my spanking “victory”.

The coffee pot was set up for this morning and Lion mentioned his sore buns throughout the day. I’m still counting that as a win. I think he still has marks too. As he was setting up the coffee pot I asked if he was trying to avoid another sore bottom. He said it’s the only thing he gets punished for anymore. It’s true. I’ve been too nice. I told him he has to watch his step because I intend to watch him more carefully. My generosity only goes so far.

Last week I set up Lion’s treadmill in the living room. I was crawling around on the floor at odd angles trying to get bolts into washers and nuts. I thought the plan was for him to use it daily to build up his stamina so he could walk better. I’m also planning to use it at some point. So far, Lion has not been using it daily. My achy crawling-around-on-the-floor body is annoyed by this. Lion wants rules. Here’s one: he has to come up with a plan for when he’s going to walk (daily, every other day, etc.) and I’ll hold him to it. If he misses a day without an approved (by me) excuse, he gets whomped. I figure both of these activities are good for him. Either he walks or he gets spanked. Win-win.

Today we’ll either play in the afternoon or just before dinner. I want to make sure I get to Lion before he gets tired or has a full stomach. I really want his orgasm and I’m willing to do whatever I can to make it happen.

We had another wind storm, although it was far less gusty than the last one. Lion said we might lose power. Luckily, being the procrastinator I am, I never put stuff away from the last power failure so we would have been in good shape. The second I put stuff away is when we’ll lose power again.

Last night was Lion’s turn to beg off from sex. His stomach was bothering him. I made a big meal including a salad so we were both stuffed. Instead, we held hands and watched TV.

The other day, Lion wrote about the importance of punishment spanking and how each of us views it. I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong when he points things like that out. I know he’s not saying I’m wrong. I just feel it. It’s like I’m letting him down. Why can’t I just feel X like he wants me to? I guess the simple answer is that we’re wired differently. If, hypothetically, we couldn’t be together anymore and were forced (by whom, I don’t know, it’s hypothetical) to choose other partners, I would be fine with a vanilla partner. Assuming I had any sex drive, that is. I don’t think Lion would do well in a vanilla relationship. We’ve tried it a few times when he assured me he’d be fine without kinky stuff. He was climbing the walls in no time.

However, I do agree with his idea that our different views of punishment are the reason there haven’t been many (any) new rules. I see it as a game, I guess. For that reason, the trivial rules work for me. Yes, it’s nice not to have to set up the coffee pot every morning. Yes, it’s nice not to have to backtrack to grab Lion’s pills from the closet. But is it really a problem? No. I still can’t wrap my head around punishing him for annoying me. There are always extenuating circumstances. I also have a hard time punishing him for interrupting me. Again, there are degrees of interrupting.

I guess I would lump annoying me and interrupting me together. There are times he interrupts and I can just raise my voice to tell him I was going to say that as he interrupted me. If he’s been interrupting me or annoying me and it’s the last straw, I might punish him. I guess it’s really like a kid. You can only take so much before you snap. For me, raising my voice is a big step. I never used to let Lion know he was annoying me. I’m not sure what the next step is. Maybe it’s letting him know he’s on the brink of punishment. Maybe it’s actually punishing him. Maybe it’s both, at different times.

I’m still trying to get to the point that I think punishment is good for our marriage. Will I ever get there? I have no idea. I guess, if it makes Lion happy, it’s good for our marriage. I know he’s good for me.

Lion was supposed to be spanked last night for annoying me on Thursday. You’ll recall I gave him a pass on Thursday night because he was snoozing. Last night he was having trouble walking, and I didn’t want to make him bend over the bed. He suggested punishment earlier in the day. I agreed. However, two things come to mind this morning.

First, wasn’t it Lion who wanted punishment closer to the infraction? He said it makes it less poignant as time goes by. I believe he said it would help him connect the punishment to the crime. So these delays should bother him, but they don’t seem to.

Second, it popped into my head this morning that perhaps Lion just likes the idea of getting swatted. He’s okay delaying the inevitable because he’s concentrating on the “high” of thinking about being punished. He’s long said he gets turned on thinking about spanking, but not when he’s actually being spanked. If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be better for him to delay as long as possible so he could ride that high?

I’m not saying he’s doing things on purpose to delay his punishment. That would be silly. And if I thought he was doing that, his punishment would be far more severe. No, this isn’t a devious plot on his part. The real problem is that I’m simply too nice. Not only did I delay his punishment, but I also got his pills for him last night “no charge”. One of his newer rules is that he has to get his own containers of medications each night. I put the pills into the bottles. The least he can do is take them out of the closet. I’m not heartless. I do get them for him when he’s not feeling well. (His trouble walking came after dinner when he’d sat in his desk chair for a while. He was fine when he should have gotten his pills.)

And then he asked if the coffee pot was set up. I knew it wasn’t, but I also decided that warning him was not one of the nice things I was going to do for him. Of course, by not answering, I was telling him it wasn’t set up. I don’t know how I would have handled it if it was set up. I may have told him it was so he didn’t make an unnecessary trip. On the other hand, if he’d just set up the damn camera in the kitchen, he’d be able to check without the trouble of walking into the kitchen at all. Maybe I should start punishing him for every day he doesn’t set the camera up.

Nah. I’m just too nice.