Lion has a sore on my weenie. He asked me to unlock him because it was bothering him. Since I was having such a crappy day yesterday, I didn’t feel like doing anything with him but unlocking him was certainly not a problem. Today is going minimally better so maybe, if he’s up for it, we’ll play tonight.

I had a meeting at work this morning. I hate meetings. First, we’ve already had email versions of whatever is being said. Second, everyone nods like a bobblehead that they understand and will do X from now on and, inevitably, nothing changes. It’s a waste of time. When I got out of my meeting, there was an email from Lion. Any other day, I might have shaken my head and wondered if he thought I had cloned myself on the way to work, but my first thought today was that he was being unreasonable and what the hell was he thinking. Before I replied, however, I had talked myself off the ledge and sent a different reply.

So what was the problem? He had an item that needed to be returned to Amazon. Since I’m near a UPS store, I can return it. Obviously they aren’t open before work and I wouldn’t have had time anyway so the “any day” response might have been teasing him about what the rush was to getting it in before work. Today, I read it as his telling me I was a slacker and don’t I know it needs to be done before anything else. Of course, he was asking if I’d remembered to take the return with me. I do forget a lot. It’s a reasonable question. Even though I made a point of putting it by the front door, I’d be just as likely to walk right past it as take it. I tempered my response by saying the place isn’t open before work and I normally drop things off after work.

I know Lion wants me to punish him when he annoys me, but if I am a giant raw nerve right now, is it reasonable to punish him for asking a question? Sure, he could have phrased it differently. I could have read it differently. To me, being mad at him about his question would be like being mad at him for breathing too loudly. He may breathe at that same decibel all the time. It’s just this one instance that it annoys me.

I do understand the concept of punishing him to get used to punishing him. I don’t really care if he spills food on his shirt. It was just something he was bound to do that would give both of us an opportunity to get used to our roles. If I punish him for every “oh, that Lion” moment, I’ll be able to punish him for the “dammit, Lion!” moments. In theory, it all makes sense. When he reminds me I have to punish him in the same moment I’m having a mini-meltdown, I’m much more likely to want to cry rather than spank him. My choice, in that moment, is to get myself under control instead of getting him under control.

I don’t have any idea how long my meltdown will last. It may go away as suddenly as it came. Maybe it will even sneak away. I may wake up a few days from now thinking that the day before was a pretty good day and wonder how that happened. Maybe it will require some action on my part. I used to go to the batting cages and pretend every ball was my husband’s (at the time) face. Symbolically knocking the snot out of him helped sometimes. Ironically, actually knocking the snot out of Lion doesn’t seem to have the same effect. Lion wishes it would.

[Lion comments — Actually I don’t expect spanking me right now to have any healing effect on Mrs. Lion. All I want is for her to get used to punishing me for any and all “Oh that Lion” moments. It’s just like when we first started and Mrs. Lion was getting used to punishing me.]

Yesterday afternoon, Lion had a doctor’s appointment. I’m sure I remember him telling me when he made it. I just don’t remember when it comes up. He “sprang” it on me the other day when he found out we could get a drive-through flu shot. A what? Yup. A drive-through flu shot. [Lion comments: You do have to slow down while they do it.] The office our primary care doctors work out of didn’t have appointments till October, but we were able to get appointments yesterday in Seattle where his other appointment was scheduled. 2020 is definitely a strange year.

While we were waiting for the doctor, Lion asked what we should have for dinner. I ran down the usual suspects and Lion growled. Why can’t I think of something else? He suggested stir fry. I never thought of that so I agreed. On the way home, he asked if I’d rather have barbecue. It made sense. We were going right past the barbecue place. Why not? Done.

I’ve been trying to get the house cleaned up for a while. I finally found the top of the kitchen table so I asked if Lion wanted to eat in the kitchen. I reasoned that he’d be less likely to create a mess with his ribs if he had a solid surface to eat them on. Just before he started eating, I sweetened the pot by nullifying the spilling rule for the night. It’s almost impossible to eat sauce-dripping ribs without spilling, or at least getting some on your hands that transfers to your shirt even with napkins or paper towels. Lion was more than happy to accept it. And, wouldn’t you know, when he’s allowed to make a mess with no consequences, his shirt was pristine. Go figure!

Once we hit the bedroom, Lion snoozed. I figured the outing did him in. He answered a few Jeopardy questions in his sleep and then woke up a bit around 8. I was about the ask if he felt up to playing when he asked me if we were going to play. He said he could go either way. If he’s not up for it, why do it? I let it go and Lion snoozed off and on for a while. Then, around bedtime, he asked if we could snuggle. Did that mean he wanted to play earlier? I don’t know. I thought by asking earlier, he’d let me know what he wanted. Did he leave it up to me because he didn’t want to decide?

The problem with asking him, I guess, is that he doesn’t want to impose on me. We play for him. I don’t think I’ll ever feel slighted if he says he doesn’t want to play because he truly doesn’t want to play. He’s done that before and I’ve never pushed him to play when he says he doesn’t want to. However, if he says he doesn’t want to play because he thinks I don’t want to play or he knows I’m tired so “don’t worry about it”, then I have a problem. If he doesn’t give me an honest answer, he can’t be upset, annoyed, sad, neglected, etc. that we didn’t play. If I have a reason that I don’t want to/can’t play, I’ll be honest.

This morning, Lion told me I have a horny Lion on my hands. I’m glad. I can have lots of fun with a horny Lion. But first, there’s the matter of de-furring. The hair above his penis is starting to tickle my nose again. But it’s the hair on his balls that is surprisingly long. How did that happen? Maybe the cage pushing his balls out actually increases blood flow and that increases hair growth. Weird. I’m thinking I’ll just do the front side this time. The back end hasn’t been bad the past few times. Of course, it was never as furry as the front. We’ll see how it goes. And, since I’m in the neighborhood of a wild weenie, I’ll have to give him a few yanks if not some sucks. It just has to be done.

Sometimes Lion is wimpy. Things that shouldn’t hurt him too much send him into orbit. It usually happens when I swat his balls. I understand they are sensitive, but even little love taps make him wince a lot. Last night, I decided to do the tiny clothespins. Then I decided I’d go for the lesser tiny clothespins. They’re slightly bigger and I don’t think they have quite the bite of the nasty little fuckers. At least I didn’t think they did.

After I unlocked him and he had all pieces of the cage off, I made sure he was hard and moaning a bit before I put the first clothespin on. Granted, I didn’t warn him, but he jumped and asked what the hell I was doing. The hell I was doing was pinching the edge of the head of my weenie. I don’t think I need to warn him or tell him what I’m doing. I usually do but I didn’t this time. I’m not sure we’ve ever discussed the need to warn him. If he was blindfolded he wouldn’t know. Anyway, the lesser tiny clothespins seem to be as bad as the tiny ones. Maybe he was just wimpy last night. If I try again in a few days he may be more able to handle them. It’s sort of a crap shoot.

Once I decided he wasn’t able to take the less than tiny clothespins anywhere, I tried pinching him with my fingertips. I thought maybe he could handle that better than a clothespin. He did a little better but he still was not having any of it. What could I do? I gave up.

I suppose I could institute a rule that if Lion can’t handle whatever I want to do to him, he forfeits any sex for the day/night. That would be a 4.0 move. The truth is, sometimes he’s just not in the mood for certain things. Who’s to say he wouldn’t have been fine with Icy Hot or figging? For that reason, I don’t think I should punish him for not wanting a certain thing. When he reads this he’ll probably say I should. It’s not like I had my heart set on the lesser tiny clothes pins. I just figured it was something different to do. If he had asked for a butt plug, I could have done a butt plug. I do take requests although, I admit, sometimes I’m not in the mood to do certain things.

Since there was no rule, I continued on to edge Lion orally. It was day fifteen and I left him panting and needing a few minutes to compose himself. The same thing will happen tonight, assuming both of us are ready, willing and able. For the record, I don’t have a date or length of time in mind. I’m not sure if it would be better or worse to announce that he has to make it to October 3. We had scheduled orgasms for a while. As I recall, they didn’t always work out. On one hand, he’d have something to look forward to. On the other hand, if he has no date in mind, every day might be orgasm day. I’d think the latter would be preferable.

Tonight’s the night. Is it? Maybe. Maybe not.

We pick up a lot of sayings from TV shows. On “Mom”, they talk about one of the supporting characters making a disappointed sheep face. Lion did that to me yesterday. Well, let’s just say I was trying to avoid his disappointed sheep face.

I cleaned up quite a bit. I still have a lot to do, but I did make a dent. When Lion was getting ready to make dinner, he noticed that the bottom part if the blender was where it shouldn’t be. He started to say something and then thought better of it. He’s already on thin ice when it comes to saying the house is messy. He went to take a shower and, to avoid his disappointed sheep face, I put the blender parts back together (I was waiting for the container to dry after making doggie ice cream) and put it away. I also cleaned off the entire window seat. I don’t think we’ve seen it since we moved in a year ago.

In the past, when Lion has complained about the kitchen table being full of junk, I’ve cleaned up my part of the mess and left his for him to do. It’s been mostly his stuff. I think that’s still true, but he’s less able to clean it up himself now. I never really thought it was fair for him to complain if it was mostly his stuff or if it was our stuff that he put there. We’re both bad about putting things on flat surfaces.

Anyway, the window seat is clean. The table is cleaner. And the stack of recipes I set aside for Lion to go through is back on the table. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle. Maybe we need a five second rule for flat surfaces. Maybe if it doesn’t belong there, it needs to be put away within a day. I’ll probably be the one moving it even if it isn’t mine, but I need to know where it goes if it’s Lion’s.

This isn’t Lion’s problem alone. He’s just more vocal about things being messy. I’m a slob. I don’t care if that bag of vitamins we bought at Costco is still in the bag on the floor of the kitchen two weeks later. I don’t expect Lion to clean up my mess though. I only left his kitchen table mess because he always made it seem like the whole mess was mine. We both need to do better.

So it looks like we have a new rule. Anything on the bed, kitchen counter, table, window seat, etc. that doesn’t belong there has to be moved within one day. If it doesn’t have a home, why did we buy it? “I don’t know where we want to put it” shouldn’t be a thing. Find a home for it, even if it winds up in the pantry. (It’s the catch all and is looking like it needs to be cleaned again. Guess whose job that is.)

Obviously, I’m not going to get punished for leaving crap around. But I do think it’s fair for Lion to be able to nag me about it. If it’s my widget, then I need to take care of it. If I brought home X, I need to put X away. And Lion shouldn’t be punished for nagging me about it. He will, however, be punished if he orders “this really cool thing I thought we could try” and it languishes where it doesn’t belong.

This time it’s a rule for both of us. Maybe a day isn’t realistic so we can tweak it as we go, but for now it’s a day. What do you think, Lion? Fair?

[Lion replies — Let me see if I understand this. I’m allowed to nag to get things put away if they are Mrs. Lion’s or general household stuff. If I don’t put away things I buy or order as well as my possessions within 24 hours, I get spanked. Ok, that sounds about as fair as things get around here.]