In so many ways 2020 is a year we all want to forget. Our 100-year plague struck as COVID-19. Everything changed. Here in the US, the complete lack of national leadership made us the most severely impacted country in the world. I’m out of work as a direct result of the pandemic. The term “pivot” has come into popular use to describe the ways we adapt to the disease. 2021 isn’t shaping up much better. We have a new president. He’s a political hack, but at least he cares about the country. There is a good chance that he will appoint good people and clean up the mess that the worst president in American history has made.

2020 was also the year I had the least orgasms since we began tracking. It was 33 versus 51 for 2019. I’m not sure that means anything. Some people think that the lower that number goes, the better I’m under female control. I totally disagree. That implies that the objective of male chastity is to eliminate ejaculation. That makes absolutely no sense to me.

You don’t demonstrate control by extinguishing something. You have control when you decide when the male gets to come. Mrs. Lion has absolute control over me in that area. I haven’t had a single orgasm that she didn’t supply. That’s control! If she believes I don’t need to ejaculate more than once every ten to fourteen days then that’s what I get. In 2020, my average was an orgasm every eleven days. All were either handjobs or oral. Since June, all but one was oral. I think it’s hot that my sex life is controlled this way. Essentially, I’m milked on a regular basis that doesn’t require my input. That’s the essence of male chastity. I like losing control.

2020 was also a year that our disciplinary relationship changed a bit. Mrs. Lion has been less focused on our FLR. Her routines have changed. She is working from home and hasn’t developed the rhythm she had when she commuted. She is less inclined to punish me for anything other than forgetting to set up the coffee pot. I haven’t been punished for anything else in months. I would like to say that I didn’t do anything else wrong, but that’s not true. She seems less inclined to be a disciplinary wife lately. Part of the reason for this might be that she hasn’t been feeling as well as usual. Part may be inertia.

I’ve also noticed that male chastity devices seem more popular. I’m basing this on pictures I’ve seen on twitter and other social media. Most of the devices appear to be the cheap Chinese cages. Every single one I’ve seen are too big for the penis inside it, some by more than an inch. I suppose that’s inevitable. In case you know someone who doesn’t get it, remind him that the end of the cage should always be in firm contact with the head of the penis.

Perhaps 2021 will be a better year in that respect. Maybe my ejaculate production will be allowed to go up as well. I doubt that. I hope that we can get back to the much more active disciplinary relationship that we had before. I think we were both happier. Stay tuned.

As Mrs. Lion mentioned in her post, I narrowly avoided being spanked by setting up the coffee pot before she woke up. She also mentioned that I annoyed her during our breakfast conversation. This is one of those classic marriage issues: We agreed to have waffles for breakfast the night before. When Mrs. Lion got up to make breakfast, she said that maybe it was too late for waffles. I answered, “Is it?”

She replied, “OK, I’ll make waffles.”

I said, “Don’t do that if it’s too late.”

The essence of the exchange was that by asking a question, I caused Mrs. Lion to reverse her decision not to make them. This, in turn, upset me because I didn’t want her doing something she really wasn’t up for. Then she reacted to that by going to make them anyway. I finally said that we don’t need them today. We can have waffles another day.

The conversation was unsatisfying for both of us. The only difference being that I could end up being spanked. I think that the problem may have to do with the assumptions Mrs. Lion makes.  I think that she assumes that if I ask a question about a comment she makes, that I am challenging it. By asking if it was too late, I was saying that I didn’t think it was too late. Even if that was my meaning, the last thing I wanted was for her to reverse herself. I expected her to say, “Yes it is. We can try another morning,” or, “Do you want them that badly?”

That would be a dialogue. I hate it when she reverses herself without a word and does what she said she didn’t want to do. That feels hostile to me and passive-aggressive. That’s how that exchange hit me. I wonder if what I’m expected to do is say nothing? That would make me unhappy.

Is what happened a spankable offense? I’m not sure. I think that spanking me would be better than what happened. It would be a definitive outcome of the transaction. It wouldn’t be what I want, but at least it would be direct.

I have been in a reflective mood. Maybe holidays bring it on, or perhaps it’s just time catching up to me. It’s pretty obvious that I’m not a typical male, or anything else. Yes, I’m heterosexual without any weird pronouns to affix to my name. I’m also comfortable with people who have other ideas about sex and sexuality. After all, who am I to throw stones? Truth is, I’m busy enough being me to have any spare time to concern myself with how I think others should be.

Fate has been good to me. The Universe has granted almost all my wishes, even the truly stupid ones. I have few regrets. Most of mine are about things I like not lasting long enough. For example, my triad with a lesbian couple. It lasted a little less than two years. At first, it was about sex. I had the first penis they ever experienced. Well, you know what made it hot for me. After a while, we all grew used to the sexual part. We settled into a comfortable routine. It ended when one of the women asked the other if she would honor an agreement they made before meeting me for the first time. They agreed that if one of them wanted to end the triad, the other would go along. It was a stupid thing to ask, but she did. The answer she got was, “No. I love him.” That set off a nuclear bomb that destroyed our triad. I had read that relationships like this usually fail due to jealousy. Mine did.

I can’t feel too badly about that ending. Look what I have now! Before Mrs. Lion, I was heavily into being a top/dominant. I had an excellent reputation in the BDSM (real life!) community. I had wondered about being a full-time master. There was something appealing about having a beautiful woman at my beck and call. The Universe heard me. A friend in the community called and said that there was a lifestyle, service slave who was in a bad situation and needed a master. Did I rub a magic lamp, or what?

I said that I was interested. I met her at a party. She was a former model and very sweet and pretty. I agreed to take her. Obviously, she agreed to be taken, but she hated thinking that way. She preferred the idea that I acquired her. We were together for almost ten years. There was more than pure BDSM to the relationship. There had to be. Unfortunately, we eventually broke up. I realized that I didn’t want a slave. I wanted a partner. She wanted to live in her fantasy. She left with my blessing.

At about the same time my slave left, I asked the Universe for a comfortable, loving relationship. I was willing to forgo BDSM for love and peace. The Universe answered. I found a personal ad from Mrs. Lion on a dating site. I was instantly drawn to her picture. It was a closeup of her smiling face. At the time, I wanted sex without complications. I wasn’t looking for someone to marry. But, I also craved the simple warmth of peaceful love.

Against all odds, we liked one another. There weren’t sparks and violin music when we met. We fucked and sucked and had orgasmic fun. The Universe came through! I was comfortable and satisfied being with her. At some point, we realized that we wanted to be together all the time. Mrs. Lion moved in. Shortly after that, we admitted that we were in love. I’m very sure that we were in love long before we admitted it.

I asked Mrs. Lion to marry me a year or two later. It wasn’t a driving need for either of us. I just realized that life would be simpler if she had the legal rights a wife gets in the event I got ill or died. I also wanted to make it harder for her to run away. That was over fifteen years ago. The Universe is very wise. It knew I needed BDSM. Somewhere along the way, I asked Mrs. Lion to do things to me. I decided I didn’t want to top. She was willing and did all sorts of nasty things to me because I asked.

Over seven years ago I suggested male chastity. She figured it was just one more thing I wanted to try and I would quickly get bored with it. To her surprise, I didn’t. In fact, we expanded activities to include domestic discipline and a female-led relationship — our version of one. It works for us. This time, it’s permanent.

All of these experiences, and many others, started as wishes on my part. One way or another, they got granted. I can’t explain it. All I can do is be grateful for the amazing adventures, especially the last one that brought the love of my life to me. Yup, the Universe has been good to me.

If you’ve been following along,  you know I forgot to set up the coffeepot the other day. Mrs. Lion showed a certain amount of glee when she informed me of my infraction. She also put paddles on the bed in anticipation of my punishment. After we had a little while to digest our dinner, she got my spanking pillow. This is a wedge-shaped, very firm foam pillow. It raises me up six inches from the bed. Truth be told, I could use more elevation, but it helps position me.

I’m sure you will be happy to learn that even though I haven’t been spanked in many weeks, Mrs. Lion didn’t forget how to paddle me. We did have a brief mid-spanking discussion. She had been aiming most of the blows at my upper thighs. This is extremely painful and certainly her right to swat. I suggested she aim higher at the lower half of my bottom. Admittedly, that isn’t a very large target. She agreed and completed the spanking there.

A while after she finished, I noticed that my lower bottom hurt. My thighs were fine. Even lying on the soft bed was uncomfortable to my bottom. Apparently, the historical spanking advice I’ve read over the years is correct. Strong attention to the lower half of the bottom will yield satisfying aftereffects. I think Mrs. Lion noted this.

Male spanking in literature

I’ve been thinking about a related subject. Can a man be a strong, respected partner if he is punished by his wife? I’m not referring to her respecting him as much as whether a third party could see him as the hero in an adventure if his partner spanks him? The classic hero is the firm-but-loving leader of his woman. I wonder if modern women could see a man who has all the same qualities as the chest-thumping hero except he agrees to her discipline.

Are men who surrender some domestic power doomed to being seen as weak and not worthy of admiration? I’m aware that other men who have similar fantasies would be attracted to their adventures, but what about the women? For that matter, is the price of our FLR, some of Mrs. Lion’s respect for me? Does she see her ability to punish me as a sign of my weakness as a man?

I can’t find any contemporary literary example of a man who allows himself to be spanked and is also admired even by those who know his wife punishes him. Maybe it’s impossible for such a duality to exist. It’s too bad if this is true. Perhaps, being sexually submissive is the 21st-century version of being gay in the 1950s.  Submissive in the bedroom means weak in life.

I wonder what vanilla women think of men who allow themselves to be punished. I suspect they imagine the disciplining women as being overbearing and the men weak. I know that Mrs. Lion isn’t overbearing. If anything, she is overindulgent. I don’t consider myself weak.

Things may be slowly changing. The success of Fifty Shades Of Grey has legitimized female sexual submission. That’s quite an achievement in the age of kneejerk feminism. People recognize that D/S is a consensual activity. It’s something people want to do because it brings them pleasure. Sure, there can be other motives. But above all, it’s consensual. I just think it is odd that mainstream literature has no popular submissive male characters. I guess it means I have to stay in the closet a while longer.