There are times when I wonder what we got ourselves into when we began enforced male chastity. Obviously, I’m no stranger to it. You might not know it but I’ve been aware of it for more than 20 years. Through most of that time I’ve considered the idea exciting, but had no real interest in subjecting myself to orgasm denial and sexual control. The simple truth is that I am not organically submissive. I simply don’t get off by being an obedient beta male.
You may wonder what I’m doing in a Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) practicing enforced male chastity. Sometimes I wonder too. Obviously, the fantasies portray men in my situation as getting their joy out of serving (sexually, usually) their female dominant. Most of the blogs I read that are written by men in situations similar to mine echo that same theme. However, I believe there are plenty of guys like me.
I started thinking seriously about this after reading a couple of posts on a blog intended for men in domestic discipline relationships. The topics weren’t particularly pointed, but the tone and the comments the blog attracts tell a story a lot different than most of the stuff you find on the Internet. I’m intentionally being a bit obtuse. Don’t worry, I’ll clue you in on how to find this blog before I finish this post.
You would think that a blog dedicated to domestic discipline, or as I like to call it FLRD, would be all about misbehaving guys and the painful indignities they suffer as a result of their behavior. That’s the way most of this stuff generally reads. I know that Mrs. Lion and I don’t write that way, but most do.
What interested me was that the blogger, without explicitly saying it, made it clear that he gets punished because it’s something he wants. He doesn’t enjoy being spanked. Neither do I but it’s clear he’s glad his wife punishes him. People’s comments seem to share that same point of view. I certainly do.
It could be that I am reading more into this than I should. I thought about that for a long time. I’m sure I have it right. I’m equally sure that regardless of their protestations to the contrary, pretty much everybody wants the punishment they get.
I’m sure that some people who read what Mrs. Lion and I write about my spankings and other punishments, will infer that I am in an abusive marriage. I suppose that if I didn’t ask for it, and instead was receiving beatings as a way of subjugating me, they would be right. It isn’t so much what happens to me. I’ve been in the BDSM scene for decades. I may not like it at the time, but I welcome the spankings Mrs. Lion gives me.
If I never asked for them and receive them because Mrs. Lion unilaterally decided she should spank me when I displease her, then those very same spankings would be considered serious marital abuse. I find it pretty hard to believe that there are many wives out there who would punish their husbands without consent.
I’m also pretty sure that most husbands, who like me ask for the discipline, would have a lot less fun if we had to keep admitting we were getting exactly what we want. As I have mentioned before, the only real difference between the BDSM play spanking and domestic discipline is intention. In this respect FLRD is no different than enforced male chastity. A chastity device acts as a way to “force” the man to provide unselfishly to his keyholder. It’s just more exciting that way.
The same is true with spanking. Mrs. Lion doesn’t need the pretense of rule breaking to spank me. In fact, this weekend I’m being spanked because I asked for it. I didn’t break any rules or disobey. The spankings are no different. I just think it’s more exciting if I don’t control when I get spanked. Giving Mrs. Lion a “reason” to paddle me extends the drama.
It also turns out that spanking with a reason can also change my behavior in a positive way. I know that neither of us thought that was going to happen when we started.
Anyway, the blog I referred to earlier is the “disciplinary couples club“. This blog has a somewhat different spin on FLRD, or if you will, domestic discipline. Very interesting bunch of people often comment to each week’s post. I find this blog helpful because the people in it have the same sort of disciplinary relationship that Mrs. Lion and I have. I truly enjoy the different perspectives.