I may not know how I hurt my back, but I think I figured out how I exacerbate it. I twist in my chair at work to file papers. Don’t do that! Today, I’ve been turning my whole body. What can I say? Old dog, new tricks.

My back was sore last night. Really sore. I thought Lion was not “asking” for attention because he didn’t want to hurt my back. When I told him it should be fine, he said he wasn’t feeling all that well. I’m not glad that he wasn’t feeling well, but I am glad that we were both out of commission together.

I won’t promise anything for tonight. I don’t know how we’ll feel. At the very least, it should be a snuggle night. We weren’t close at all last night. Every time I moved, it hurt. I don’t know if Lion was bothered by moving. He doesn’t normally move much, other than laying across the bed when I suck him. That’s when he moves the fastest.

Lion hasn’t earned himself a punishment in a while. I’ll have to do a just because spanking soon. I can’t let him forget what it feels like to be punished. And I can’t let myself forget how to do it well. Practice makes perfect. If that’s true, I bet Lion doesn’t want me to be perfect. I need too much practice. [Lion — It’s been 13 days since my last spanking.]

I have been on the lookout for him to slip up, specifically interruptions, and to be a know-it-all. He’s been on his best behavior. He even stopped himself from calling Grey’s Anatomy a soap opera. It took amazing restraint. I’m not sure what I would have done if he did. I don’t think it would have registered as a punishable offense. I might have if he kept saying it. Then he would have annoyed me, and I definitely would have caught him. I think it’s great he stopped himself.

This morning I took the fat dog to the vet. She’s been a bit lethargic on and off. Maybe the blood work will show something. Until then, we’ll give her anti-inflammatories. Of course, we’ll have to stop feeding her table scraps. She’d like a second opinion.

While I was in the shower last night, I was plotting Lion’s demise by asking if he was cold since he was cocooned in blankets. If he said yes, I was going to tell him that IcyHot would warm him up. If he said no, I was going to tie his balls up. Then I sat down and didn’t feel like doing anything so I moved over and we snuggled. I wasn’t tired or achy. Some muscles in my back have been cramping but nothing serious. I just felt like snuggling and that’s all. Luckily, Lion loves to snuggle too.

I’ll probably start testing the waters to see if he’s horny yet. He doesn’t have to be horny at all for butt plugs or just because spankings. Technically he doesn’t even have to be horny to have his balls tied, but it’s more fun if he’s hard – for both of us. I don’t know when he normally gets horny after an orgasm. Lately Lion has been feeling like he’s taking advantage of me and that’s been getting in the way of horniness. I hope we finally have that worked out. I look forward to a Lion weather report.

We have adjustable beds. There is a fairly big gap between them. Lion says he hates it because it stops us from sleeping closer together. We can get something to bridge the gap, but I think it’s just a piece of rubber, and, for us, it would be on top of the sheets. Besides that, it would flop around because we’re not always at the same height.

All of this is a moot point anyway. Last night, as we started to fall asleep, I reached across the gap and touched Lion. He said it was nice, but he needed to roll over to sleep on his other side. Since before I moved in with him, Lion has had a king-size bed. He always slept right on the edge. If he had rolled slightly more, he would have been on the floor. The dog loved this because she could slurp his face first thing in the morning. He’s gotten a little better in the past few years. He does not teeter on the edge now. But he still sleeps pretty far away from me.

The other issue keeping us from sleeping closer is the fact that he’s a furnace. He cocoons himself in blankets, and he churns out so much heat I can’t be near him. I usually sleep with one leg out or even no blankets. Even if I wanted to leap across the great divide, I’d spontaneously combust. This also comes into play when we snuggle. If he’s under the blankets, I have to keep most of me out from under the blankets, or I’ll get too hot.

There are times that Lion sleeps on his back during the night. He’s even been known to face me at times. If I’m awake to realize it, I do reach out to touch him. I don’t know if he’s aware of it. It’s just nice to be close.

We seem to have hit a barrier. Lion doesn’t want sex if he’s the only one who wants it. I don’t want sex because, well, I have no idea why. If neither of us wants sex, we have a problem. I don’t know what to do to make Lion understand that I want to make him happy. Apparently, he has the same problem. He asked the other day if I can have an orgasm, why don’t I want one.? I haven’t had an answer until one just popped into my head. Maybe I’m like an old stick shift car with a bad starter. I will not start, but if you push me down a hill and pop the clutch, I’ll run fine. Does the car care if it starts? No. Me either. Does the car care if you push it down a hill and pop the clutch? No. Me…well, I sort of mind.

I suppose the problem is that I’ve been doing things with and for Lion for so many years that it didn’t bother me when my sex drive sputtered and died. I still made Lion feel good. Or bad, depending on what I was doing to him at the time. It feels very artificial to me, to have an orgasm now. Why should Lion waste his time giving me an orgasm? I don’t care if I have one or not. He’s the one who wants an orgasm. Let’s focus on him. Except now he seems focused on my having an orgasm, and in some way, it’s causing issues with his having orgasms.

He feels bad that I do everything for him, and he does nothing for me. Got it. I understand. I’m afraid I have to disagree, but I understand. Maybe it’s similar to salads. He hates making them but loves eating them. I hate making them and eating them. Sometimes, if he asks for a salad, I make him one. Is that a problem? I don’t care if I have a salad or not, so why make it? [Lion — Because we both need the fiber!]

Maybe I need to call Lioness 4.0 and have her wield her paddle: Listen here, Lion. This is how it’s going to be. That weenie will get hard when I tell it to get hard. You will get to the edge as many times as I want you to get to the edge. And you will come only when I tell you you can come. Understood? [Lion — Works for me.]

Oh, 4.0! Where are you?

(By the way, Lion o’clock was supposed to be when we started to play at a random time during the day, probably on the weekends. It hasn’t happened so far, but I just came up with it the other day.)