Maybe I’m losing it. Or, perhaps my attention span is tiny. I have no memory of Mrs. Lion telling me that my eye drops were done. She puts a series of drops in my eyes when we get up and before we go to sleep. We have to wait five minutes between drops. She does it because it’s easier for me. What a lioness! Anyway, I don’t always remember her setting the timer–we use Alexa. When she told me we were done, I was focused on watching an episode of “Law and Order, SVU” and didn’t remember our exchange. At least I hope that’s the reason.

Mrs. Lion often forgets that I don’t know or remember the context of a conversation. I think that’s why I struggle with pronouns. I use a product called “Grammarly” to copy-edit my writing. It uses artificial intelligence to catch things like unclear references. That’s what sometimes happens with Mrs. Lion. I think she forgets that when she uses a pronoun, the noun it refers to isn’t clear to me. I get it.

I’m very sensitive to this because I’m now a writer. I know. We are both writers. Each of us has over a million words of blogging. That’s writing. Somehow, becoming a novelist, albeit barely published, makes being a writer official, at least in my mind. I am approaching it as my new career. It’s very hard work, by the way. I’ve also decided to learn what I can about the profession from others. I’m reading books on writing fiction.

You know a lot about me. At least you do if you’ve been following the blog for a while. I tend to charge full-speed into things. I did with my first book, Fan Mail. I self-published it on Amazon. Sales suck. What’s worse, no agent will consider representing me since it is already published. Shit! What a mess.

It may well be that my second book won’t do any better at getting me represented. That’s a depressing thought. Most of the rejections I’ve gotten are from emails. One agent took the time to tell me that Fan Mail is an interesting idea, but no publisher will touch it since I put it on Amazon. Naturally, I think the premise is good. A successful TV actress decides to email a guy who sent a fan letter and asked for her picture. The story includes the actual emails. Within hours, she decides to invite him to join her on a week-long vacation in Maui. I think it is a nice start.

The rest of the story is hot sex and intrigue. The few people who have reviewed it gave it four stars. Thank you! Mrs. Lion says she likes it too. It’s hard to tell with her. She loves me and wants to encourage me. No, this isn’t a commercial for the book. However, for a few days starting Monday, you can get the book for free! I set the deal up on Amazon. Enjoy! Please review it too.

Usually, I’m not too fond of it when writers blog about their work. Here I am, guilty of the same thing. There is a point to this post. In his book, How to Write a Damn Good Novel, James Frey, writes that novels are about characters with lots of sex. It’s more complicated than that, but it reminded me of something I was told a long time ago: Write what you know about. Cool! My sexual adventures are numerous and varied. Finally, something I am qualified to do! I think the jump from sex blogger to novelist is pretty small. Wish me luck.

Mrs. Lion found this online. It has nothing to do with this post. We think it’s funny. (We like lion cartoons)

We are in our eighth year of blogging. Almost every day, both of us have shared our thoughts and feelings. Since this is a sex blog, we write about our kinks and sexual activities. In one sense, this is revealing the most intimate part of our lives. In another, it’s an anonymous diary of our adventures. That makes it safe for us.

The blog isn’t totally anonymous. My most loyal reader sleeps next to me. She reads about my feelings and experiences with her. Sometimes, it upsets her. When I write about things I might want to try, she often interprets that as dissatisfaction with what she is doing with me. Often, she will make an effort to make real what I share here. The result is that my dreams come true. Some of those dreams result in a wish I never wrote what I was thinking–disciplinary spankings.

All these words written about sex reveal little about the rest of our lives. You probably aren’t interested in that anyway. One thing about us has nothing to do with sex that I want to share with you. We are a very unusual couple. We both come from stressful past relationships; Mine left me desperately wanting peace and comfort. I decided that I would give up BDSM in favor of hugs and sweet love. Mrs. Lion also craved love and acceptance.

We had no way of knowing this about each other when we met. Even after we had been together a while and knew about each other’s past, we didn’t directly address this most important need. We didn’t have to. Even though we are very different in many important ways, we just fit with each other. Since this is a sex blog, let me give you a sexual example of how this works.

When we met, Mrs. Lion had no experience with anything sexual beyond the most vanilla activities. We found each other online at a dating site. We were looking for sex. The painful issues in our recent past made us reluctant to look for anything more. We fit right from the start. We met within a week of the first online contact. Our first meeting was anal sex in a motel located halfway between our homes. I can’t remember why it was anal sex. I probably suggested it. I am very sure she wouldn’t. Women don’t request butt stuff.

After we met at our motel a few times, I decided to break my self-imposed no-kink rule and asked if she would spank me. She agreed. She almost always says yes. Even now, eighteen years later, it’s the same. That’s one reason we can blog about kink. I have a good imagination, and Mrs. Lion is happy to indulge it.

I can’t fully articulate why we work so well. We both do things the other doesn’t like. So what? Maybe that’s the key. I want her to be happy. I want to become the best partner I can be. I can’t imagine being without her.

I still have a couple of sore spots. Based on Mrs. Lion’s post the other day, I appear to be in for another spanking. The consensus is that I am not listening properly. I am not patient enough. I get it, or I will get it. Mrs. Lion has her own communication style, and by now, I should have figured it out. Most of the time, I can. My internal copy editor has a hard time with unclear references, especially now that I am writing almost full time. I have a wonderful grammar checker. It’s called Grammarly. There is a free version that helps with glaring errors. The paid version is like having a live copy editor sitting next to me.

Another program I use a lot is LightRoom by Adobe. It lets me organize my images. I have a lot, over 7,000. Many of them got lost when I switched from a version that stores my computer images to one that uses the Adobe cloud. I learned this yesterday when I got a warning that I needed more cloud space. Going up to 1TB would raise my monthly bill to $59.95. I can’t afford that. So, I decided to go back to the version that lets me store images on my computer (I put them in the Microsoft cloud). When I opened that version (LightRoom Classic), I found many images, not in the cloud. After a long process, I managed to combine the images. Now I am classifying the ones that weren’t included (2,500).

I’m finding lots of wonderful pictures that I had no idea that I had in the process. A bunch of years ago, I scanned many slides. Many of the oldest ones didn’t get classified. Fortunately, they survive in the cloud. It’s fun rediscovering them. I even found one black-and-white paper print I scanned in of me sitting on Santa’s lap in a department store. I couldn’t have been more than 7 years old. I wonder if Santa remembers.

The second book is moving much slower than the first. Based on my recent research, my plot is still too weak in the beginning. My confidence as an author is not very high. Sorting photos has given me a bit of a break. Now, before I do more sorting, I will do more writing. This isn’t my sexiest post. Sorry.

If you’ve been reading along for a while, you know I wrote a novel. I self-published it on Amazon. That turned out to be less than wonderful. I don’t have any way to promote the book, so not many copies have sold. I decided to try to get an agent. I own the Amazon publication, and I can transfer it to any other publisher. I sent lots of queries to agents. I got some replies, all negative. One agent liked the book but said publishers had trouble with previously published books, so she passed. I have more than one book in me, so live and learn.

I’ve also realized that I could do a much better job with fiction. Writing for this blog isn’t particularly good training. Yes, it helps me sharpen my vocabulary and style. I’m writing in the active voice most of the time now. But it doesn’t make up for lack of knowledge when it comes to fiction. Fan Mail has gotten good feedback from people who read it. I got a lot of help from Mrs. Lion and Julie, who are both gifted bloggers. I’m happy with that story. That doesn’t mean I couldn’t do much better.

All those rejection letters are hard to ignore. I realize that at best, some student reader spent ten minutes with the story. Unsolicited manuscripts get little interest. That’s why I published myself. I’m in the process of writing a second novel. This one is proving much more difficult to write. I think that may be a good sign. My writing process is less organic. I’m trying hard to craft the story so that the characters have more depth. Maybe I’m kidding myself. It could be that my confidence is damaged, and I don’t trust what I write. I don’t know.

After I sent off all those queries to agents and started getting rejections, I stopped liking the 150 pages of my new book, which I had already written. I’m back on the first page again, struggling with the opening. I’ve been listening to the audiobook version of Stein On Writing by Sol Stein. He’s a famous editor and writer. He gives good advice but does nothing to improve my self-confidence. I’m not a quitter, but I truly don’t need to find ways to depress myself. Before I published Fan Mail and tried to get an agent, I was having a lot of fun writing; not so much now.

I don’t know any fiction writers, so I have no network to help me through this. In the meantime, I’ll keep slogging along, and when I get enough of the revision done, I’ll share it with my amateur editors.