Spanking

Spanking is probably the most popular kinky activity. Bondage is a close second. People who would recoil in horror at the thought of a BDSM party are perfectly happy spanking or being spanked. Study after study has shown that the vast majority of people have spanking dreams. How many actually do it is unknown.

I’ve been thinking about this. Adults who are spanked consensually–This lets out the religious domestic discipline people–almost always indicate that there are sexual feelings about being spanked. Died-in-the-wool domestic discipline guys occasionally admit that their sex lives improve after being spanked. When I think about Mrs. Lion spanking me, it turns me on. A small number of men maintain erections during their spankings. Many more of us are hard when the spanking begins but lose our boners once the action gets going.

Spanking turns me on; being spanked doesn’t. Is it the pain that turns me off? For a long time that was my thinking. If that were true, then CBT would make me soft too. It hurts to have clothespins applied to my cock and balls. IcyHot does not feel good on my balls, yet I stay hard through all of those painful activities. Thinking about CBT is hot, and so is thinking about being spanked. Why do I maintain a boner during CBT and lose it when being spanked?

At BDSM parties (I was the dungeon master for a large BDSM group), I’ve observed that almost all other men respond the same way as me. In over twenty years, I’ve only seen one guy who stays hard during a vigorous spanking. I haven’t seen any who get soft during CBT. In contrast, I haven’t seen many women who don’t get turned on during spankings. The female response makes more sense. Women who want to be spanked are turned on by the idea of a spanking and aroused while getting their butts beaten. Most guys who are turned on by the idea of being spanked are turned off during their beatings.

The weirdest part of this for me is that no matter how much I hate my most recent spanking, I’m still turned on thinking about being spanked. You’d think that if I hated being spanked, I wouldn’t be aroused later. Some women have theorized that this weird conflict is nature’s way of assuring that we will willingly bare our bottoms and get into position for a spanking. Maybe so. I’m turned on when I see Mrs. Lion prepare the spanking bench. I willingly mount it and let her strap me down. Once she gets going, I want to escape. Of course, I can’t. Wouldn’t you think I would learn and head for the hills next time she prepares the spanking bench? Nope. I meekly mount the bench. Maybe it really is nature’s way of assuring that I accept my spanking when Mrs. Lion wishes to give it to me. Being bigger and stronger doesn’t help if I am ineluctably drawn to accept something I will hate.

I find it even stranger that, even though I sexualize spanking, it’s effective in training me. My behavior changes if I’m consistently punished for doing something my lioness forbids. While our marriage is a partnership, I will change if she decides she wants me to change and punishes me when I don’t meet her expectations. The fact that I sexualize spanking doesn’t hurt its effectiveness as a training tool.

Most people who spank do it in the context of satisfying their partner’s request to be spanked. There is no disciplinary context. I know that Mrs. Lion has a very hard time with the idea of punishing me. She understands the value to me of a disciplinary marriage but can’t quite bring herself to punish me if I do something that annoys her. She is fine with spanking me if I fail to do a chore or break an explicit rule she has made. That’s more of a catch-and-spank game for her. It’s real punishment for me. That’s fine because it allows us to maintain spanking as part of our marriage. From my perspective, it would be much better if she also punished me for interrupting or annoying her. I would learn to avoid those behaviors.

I’ve noticed that other mammels are wired the same way. Males will almost never attack females. In researching lions, I’ve seen that a lioness will painfully bite a lion’s rump if he annoys her. He accepts the bite without retaliation. He doesn’t run away or try to intimidate her. He accepts the painful message. Sound familiar? I wonder if he sometimes gets confused by his meek accptance. It certainly confuses me. Nevertheless, next time I’m invited to mount the spanking bench, I will do so without complaint.

One of the odder things about domestic discipline and spanking, in general, is that the spankee (me, for example) tends to do most of the purchasing of things to be used to beat him (or her). Mrs. Lion, and most other spankers, are far less interested in what they use to bruise our butts. All she wants is something that will efficiently make me yelp and make it painful to sit for a couple of days after she spanks me. We have a very large collection of high quality paddles and straps. Many of them were bought for me by women I spanked in the past. I bought a good number to use on me.

Lately, I’ve been shopping again. It isn’t that Mrs. Lion actually needs anything new. I think we need to improve our leather collection. I don’t have any particular spanking fetishes. Hairbrushes and slippers do nothing for me. My search for leather is based on a more practical matter: I don’t tend to bleed when beaten with leather. Wood invariably causes blood to flow. I’m not being cut. I think that the unyielding wood tends to create blisters and swelling that leak a bit of blood. It isn’t dangerous, just messy.

Leather, on the other hand, molds itself to my skin and distributes the force more evenly over my skin. I still swell and get leathery, but I am much less likely to bleed. This is both good and bad. So far, the leather paddles she’s used make me yelp but don’t provide any lasting pain. I should be happy about that. I’m not. Like every other spanko, I want her to be able to deliver the full effect every time. (Stupid lion!)

That’s why I bought the 6-Whips leather paddle (“Review: 6Whips 14-Inch Leather Paddle“). Unfortunately, it isn’t heavy enough to make the deeper impression needed for that three-day pain. So, my hunt continues. Of course, Mrs. Lion has a simple solution: a hybrid spanking. She can do most of the spanking with leather and then perform the coup de gras with wood. Voila! Problem solved. [Mrs. Lion — This is not news to me. I was doing a combination of wood and or leather and or rubber before we moved. I’ve done more leather lately, but in the recent past I have used primarily leather and switched to wood for the money shots.]

I’m sure that I will hate this if Mrs. Lion accepts my idea. I always hate improvements in her spanking efficiency. That’s the irony she likes to point out. Like most people who want to be spanked, when I’m not strapped to the spanking bench, I find thinking about spanking arousing. I’m smart enough to know that I will regret improving the quality of the beatings I get, but I can’t help myself. When I am sitting safely in my office, I want to provide Mrs. Lion with the best possible tools to make sitting uncomfortable for days. When I am strapped to the spanking bench, I’m sorry for the offense that brought me there and even more sorry that I provided the ability to hurt me more efficiently.

Well, right now, I am comfortably sitting in my chair and feeling mildly aroused as I consider meaner leather paddles. A commentor suggested London Tanners. It’s a European outfit with very nice-looking leather implements. They are expensive. One that I was looking at (DD Straap) costs $150 (shipping included). That’s not out of line for a quality spanking implement, but I wouldn’t order it without Mrs. Lion’s approval. It might be a very painful addition to our small leather collection. It’s made of hand-tanned English harness leather. Yup, that would be a purchase I would regret for years.