We tried the Quadmix again on Friday. I repeated the .30 ml dose. It produced a less-than-insertable boner. Mrs. Lion tried oral. It felt good, but I didn’t get close to an orgasm. The erection subsided after about an hour and a half. I think the next step is to try .35 ml and see if it does the trick. This is a discouraging process. The actual injection didn’t hurt at all, but I had some injection-site pain after I got hard. I didn’t experience the ache I felt on my first Quadmix try.

I don’t mean to bore you with these posts about my ED experiences, but there is almost nothing on the Web from the patient’s point of view. Most discussions are ads from pharmacies trying to sell various ED products. Others are from medical sources who offer good information but nothing from the patient’s point of view. I want to help fill that gap.

Dealing with erectile dysfunction is difficult. It means confronting the most significant symbol of being male. When it becomes impossible to get an erection, it also becomes much more difficult to feel masculine. Before, I wouldn’t have sex with other women and was prohibited from masturbating. Now, I can’t. There is a giant gap between won’t and can’t. Sex is important to me. My body doesn’t agree.

It isn’t like I had prostate surgery or cancer. My prostate is fine, and I’m cancer free. Yet, I can’t get it up. I can’t. What’s wrong with me? I’m trying to treat the symptom. We’ve made a little progress there. But have we? My ability to get aroused to the point of orgasm is also gone. There’s no drug to help that. It’s been sixteen days since my last orgasm–thank you for asking. That’s long enough for me to be pretty horny, but I’m not.

I suppose I should focus on the Quadmix and getting an insertion-ready erection. Once we achieve that, maybe my libido will get the hint and turn on. Mrs. Lion mentioned that spanking has also been out of the picture for a while. As of Saturday it’s been 28 days since I rode the spanking bench. Could that be part of it? Maybe.

I’m probably owed a spanking. I got angry at Mrs. Lion because she let the dog escape her fenced-in yard. She said she was upset that I growled at her. She didn’t say she was going to spank me. I’m pretty sure that she will decide I earned a punishment. She has trouble punishing me for upsetting her. I suspect she will get over that problem this time. Stay tuned.

There are two things on my mind today.  I’m very interested in continuing our discussion of ED. Apparently, there isn’t much personal reporting on the subject.  The second is my spanking on Saturday. OK, first, the ED. We got a comment from Mark:

“Regarding the injection quantity, you are a better person than me… I’d be sticking in a much greater increase each time until I got the desired outcome and then trying to figure out where the correct dose was.”

I know where he is coming from. I’m impatient for the results Trimix promises.  In my research, I’ve found that almost all of the medical advice on correct dosing says to increase by .05 ml until the desired erection is attained. My urologist is against this and says that an increase of .02 to .03 ml each time. I did some further research, including a conversation with the urologist when she gave me this program. Her response was a little wishy-washy. She said that men in their 30s and 40s are at a fairly high risk of priapism (erections lasting four hours or more) from the drug. Older men almost never have this issue. Since I’m over fifty, I interpreted that to mean it was safe to increase the dosage by a larger increment. Beginning today (Monday), I’ll go from .15 to .20 ml. I admit that I’m very impatient for a result.

From my readings, apparently, a large number of men give up this therapy because they don’t get results soon enough. A few ED clinics start with a much higher dose (.20 or more) and administer it in the office. If the erection lasts more than three hours, they inject an antidote which will usually work. If that fails, they have to drain the blood from the penis. It’s not a lot of fun. Clinics that have the men administer the drug at home can’t risk that sort of reaction, so they have to advise starting with a much smaller dose. In my case, it was .1 ml, and they advised the very gradual increases. I’m feeling impatient, and I understand why so many men quit before they can get good results. I’ll let you know what happens after the next dose later today.

my first spanking in more than a month

As promised, before we left for the casino on Saturday night, Mrs. Lion spanked me. She had planned a “Just Because” spanking, but it was preempted by a punishment. I forgot to set up the coffeepot on Friday. She seemed to be in a good mood once I was riding the spanking bench. She didn’t strap me down. She quietly talked to herself, “Let’s see, which paddle should I use.” It seemed to me that she was approaching my spanking as a sort of fun activity.

That pleasure didn’t extend to me. She hit hard and fast. I was yelping in no time. She commented that I was exceptionally “rosey.” After less than ten minutes, she stopped and went into the bathroom and got some tissues. She said that I was bleeding and cleaned up the blood and applied a healing ointment. She told me to get up and said this spanking only lasted five minutes. I guess I spoiled her fun. She commented that I was red and leathery. I took her word for it.

Later, when I asked her if she was having fun while she spanked me, she said that she wasn’t sure. Odd. It sounded like she enjoyed herself. There is no requirement that she have a good time when she punishes me. She generally treats it as a chore she doesn’t mind doing. If she begins to like it, I think she will be more likely to be more observant of my behavior. We’ll see.

We stayed a long time at the casino last night. Right off the bat, Lion was up a lot of money. He hit some very good spins. When we moved to different machines, I did a little better. We ate dinner late, played more slots, and left about 11 or so. That’s a long time to be sitting in largely the same position. Granted, I sit all day for work, but I move around more. Once we got home and washed the casino smell off, we didn’t fair much better getting to sleep. I think it was close to 3 before we finally called it.

This morning, I was cold, and my shoulder hurt. I think the position of my arm while hitting the spin button, coupled with the length of time, did me in. I’ll wax Lion today, but that may be the extent of my movements. Unfortunately, I do have to clear off the waxing table. I’ve started melting the new wax we have. I think it’s a lower temperature wax that says to melt it to a creamy consistency. I have no idea how long that will take to melt. Of course, I never know how long the other wax will take either.

Sometimes, I wind up burning Lion’s balls when I wax him. Not really burning them, but it’s quite a shock for him. I try to make sure the temperature is turned down and I wave the applicator around to dissipate the heat, but it doesn’t always work. It will be interesting to see how this new wax works. Maybe I won’t need to wave it around. It’s the first time trying new wax in a very long time.

I whomped Lion’s buns before we went to the casino yesterday. Unfortunately, the chairs are too comfy for a freshly whomped butt and he didn’t feel the effects. I noticed he had some marks this morning. I made him bleed because I used mostly wooden paddles with a few rubber ones mixed in. I didn’t even spank him for the full ten minutes. I stopped at five minutes because he was sufficiently red. I put some healing lotion on him, and off we went. I haven’t heard a pain report this morning, so I assume it isn’t an issue.

He said it sounded like I was enjoying myself while I swatted him. I still think he confuses pageantry with enjoying myself. I may be admiring a job well done, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy to be spanking him. It’s a necessary evil. It benefits both of us. I don’t like it any more than he does.

lion strapped to his spanking bench

When I first started reading about adult disciplinary spankings, several women noted that their husbands seemed to have limited memories of what they had to do. They observed that their husbands needed spanking about once a month for forgetting a rule. At the time, I thought this was silly. However, the hard truth of this observation is painfully obvious to me now.

On Friday, I forgot to set up the coffee pot. You’d think that by now, it would be a daily habit to perform this chore. It usually is. I was tired, and my daily routine was interrupted by a nap. I forgot the coffee pot. The last time I forgot was on March 16, the last time Mrs. Lion spanked me. Here it is over a month later, and I’m riding the spanking bench again. The time before that was in October, almost six months earlier. I guess the March spanking didn’t take.

Generally, when I commit an offense too soon after a prior incident, Mrs. Lion makes the spanking much more memorable. I’m writing this post on Saturday Morning. Mrs. Lion informed me that I would be spanked right before we leave for the casino later today. She said my sore bottom would be a good reminder while we were there. She said that she had planned a five-minute “Just Because”spanking for today, but now it would be a full-strength ten-minute visit with her paddles. I should point out that a ten-minute spanking never lasts just ten minutes. That’s the minimum length. I’m sure this one will go on quite a bit longer.

The other day I wrote that we both get out of disciplinary mode if I’m not spanked fairly often. That’s the reason we have the “Just Because” spankings. Today’s spanking is a whopping 34 days since my last one. We’ve had a chance to forget, and I did. There’s a good chance that Mrs. Lion will be more watchful after today’s punishment. She noted that she hasn’t punished me for interrupting. She said that omission was going to stop now. OK, I’ve been warned.