my flat ass and legs
This is my body. I have a small, flat ass.

Once in a while Mrs. Lion references my flat butt. She’s right; it’s very small. It won’t even let me wear a belt. Jeans just slide over my narrow hips and down my legs. I have to wear suspenders. I hate them. I’m also not too fond of how I look from behind. It’s taken me years to discover what style jeans to buy that don’t look baggy in back (slim fit). Yeah, I know that this is a problem women usually complain about. Well, guess what? Guys like having nice rears too.

Obviously rear-enhancing undies

Apparently, almost no one has discovered this male vanity. One company, Obviously underwear, has. I received an email advertising “Underwear fabric with butt shaper effect.” I was intrigued. Obviously is the famous maker of pouch underpants. Each pair has a roomy pouch for cock and balls. I have a bunch of them. They are very comfortable and look good in front. Now, they are claiming butt improvement.

The image on the site is impressive. I yearn to look that way in back. I’m sure I won’t, but maybe, just maybe, my rear will have some shape. Mrs. Lion says she likes my ass just the way it is. I don’t doubt her, but I suspect she might like to see more shape when I stand up. Based on the pictures she has taken of me riding the spanking bench, I exhibit some nice roundness when my butt is presented as a target for her paddles. Unfortunately, the shape goes away when I stand. I ordered some of this new butt-shaping underwear. Maybe it will improve my rear view.

My butt has a nice shape when I ride the spanking bench

When I start obsessing over things like the shape of my butt, it’s a clear signal that I am way past horny. Since I suffer from erectile dysfunction, this strong need doesn’t translate to boners. That doesn’t change how my hormones are stirring me up. Mrs. Lion said that she knows where some Edex is. I’m hoping she will unearth it and give me some relief. I’m not as anxious for her to find the paddle collection. Of course, she doesn’t need a paddle to spank me. We have a ton of pervertable kitchen and bathroom items that will make me yelp when she hits me with them. Her sore shoulders may be keeping her away from that particular activity.

Meanwhile, we need to do a lot of unpacking. We are nowhere near livable yet.

the WordPress nazis strike again

WordPress is the content management system used by millions of bloggers and other website creators. It’s produced by a company named “Automatic.” It’s available as a free application you can install on a computer. That’s what I use here. It’s also available as a turn-key blog on There is a free version as well as paid, more powerful versions available. The other big provider of blog software is Google. They offer turn-key blogs much the same way as Automatic.

What you might not know is that Automatic also offers a plugin called Jetpack. This plugin offers additional features for standalone WordPress installations. Some of the enhancements are free; others cost money. I’ve been a Jetpack user since we started this blog. Last week, I got an email from the “Trust Department” at Automatic informing me that unless I remove sexually explicit content from my site, they would disconnect the Jetpack plugin. Fucking nazis!

I immediately blasted back with an email informing them that I would not change content and they could shove Jetpack up their corporate ass. I’ve done so. As a result, we temporarily can’t manage notifying subscribers of posts, and we can’t show related posts. We also lost their backup service. However, we have that covered another way.

Another chastity blogger, Denying Thumper, was a paid subscriber. The content nazis shut him down without warning. They did that to Collard Michael as well. Both found new homes on hosts who don’t think sex is a crime.

It’s a shame that such narrow-minded people run Automatic. Over the years they were a friendly source of help for bloggers at all skill levels. The WordPress content management system is still the best way to create a blog. A huge chunk of the Internet uses it. It seems irresponsible for Automatic to attempt to censor content. If a website is not breaking the law, why should a corporation try to censor it?

At this point, it doesn’t look like Automatic can censor sites like ours that use the freeware version of WordPress. They might want to try, but too many outlets distribute the free software. Still, there’s something horribly wrong with a company as important as Automatic using its ability to shut down customers as a way of repressing perfectly legal sexual content. Sex isn’t a crime. Pictures of naked people aren’t obscene. I’m disgusted by Automatic and its Hitlarian approach to doing business.

If you have a website and pay for it, send me a note (Contact Us), and I can point you to a much cheaper resource that protects your privacy and respects your content.

We are in our new house. The movers finished last Thursday. We are living in a sea of boxes. Mrs. Lion has been working to get us unpacked enough to function on a semi-normal level. My office is a cacoon of boxes with my desk and computer in the middle. Our technology is almost fully installed. Our VOIP phones are working, and both Internet services are up and running.

Between looking for a new house and moving, our more personal activities have fallen behind. I mentioned that I hadn’t been spanked in a long time (42 days), and she replied we hadn’t done other things, either. She’s right. It’s been 21 days since my last orgasm. I suppose the math suggests that I need a spanking twice as much as I do an orgasm. My imagination has been going on both subjects. Of course, Mrs. Lion has to be up for doing something. She’s been sore from packing and unpacking. There’s also the matter of finding where the paddles and Edex are packed. Mrs. Lion mentioned that the paddles are in cartons marked “Personal,” but she hasn’t seen any sign of them yet. Edex is also buried somewhere.

If she wants to spank me, Mrs. Lion can improvise with my hairbrush, I suppose. The spanking bench is conveniently located at the foot of our bed. There is plenty of room to use it right where it is. How convenient for her!

The priority has to be getting our new house set up. Still, it’s getting more difficult to avoid getting grumpy over the lack of below-the-waist attention. Yes, I know it isn’t a priority, and I accept this reality. I’m doing my best to accept it gracefully.

I’m not sure I ever got a hairbrush paddling. I have a paddle-shaped hairbrush that I’ve been using for years as a hairbrush. I’m pretty sure it can deliver a good spanking, but will require more effort than Mrs. Lion’s too-efficient paddles. I’m confident that one way or another the spanking bench will be used in the near future.


I am in our new house today and  Mrs. Lion is in the old one packing boxes. I’m supervising the installation of the new stove and some needed electrical work. I miss her company. We are together almost all of the time. It feels odd being fifty miles away from my lioness.

Have you noticed that the vast majority of blogging about sex, male chastity, and spanking is written by the bottom partner? Mrs. Lion is one of the few tops who write about their experiences. Most toys are bought by bottoms too.

When you think about it, there is some solid logic behind both. Bottoms, like me, crave the special sort of contact that our kinks require. It’s been 33 days since my last spanking. I know; I hate it when I get spanked. But truth be told, I miss it when I’m not. Even weirder, I miss spanking more than sex. Go figure!

Those of us who are wired to need spanking seem to get grumpy and depressed when unswatted. One of the most in-demand sex work activities is bare-bottom spanking. Paddles, straps, and canes are far and away the most popular toys. in fact, not only BDSM or domestic discipline types buy paddles. One maker told me that most of his business was at swinger events/ Spanking is almost vanilla sex.

Over the years, I’ve read lots of rationalizations for this nearly universal kink. I suspect there isn’t any good explanation of why so many of us need our butts burned. I think it is probably physiological. There are lots of nerve endings in the tush. That’s why spankings hurt so much. Those nerve endings also deliver pleasure too. There is a very small gap between pleasure and pain.

Yeah, I need to be swatted. All of the paddles are packed away for the move. The earliest they can see the light of day is this weekend. Somehow, I’ll survive.

spanking bench

We have been planning where our furniture will go in our new home. Mrs. Lion decided that the spanking bench would now reside in the living room by the front window. When she told me this, I asked if that meant I would be spanked in the living room. She rolled her eyes and said, “Of course.” Spanking is no longer a bedroom activity for the Lion family.

I’m having a hard time finding my way around the new house. My vision is very poor and it will take me time to get the geography straight. Mrs. Lion has helped me find my way on our visits. The actual move is two weeks off. Between now and then we will be back and forth several times. We’ve lucked out when it comes to the Internet. We subscribed to the T-Mobile 5g service. They promised about 20 Mbs bandwidth. It turns out that our house is near a tower and we get 300 Mbs from the 5g. I had no idea it could be that fast. It’s much better than the Xfinity service we planned to use as our primary connection. We’ll keep both for now. The combination should assure us service during power failures and other natural disasters around here.

We haven’t done any BDSM, sex, or discipline for some time. We’ve both been too tired or busy with the move. Maybe one of these days, we’ll get back to it. Mrs. Lion has been too stressed to think much about more than moving and work. Her shoulders have been hurting. Spanking me would just make them hurt more.

Speaking of spanking, one of our readers offered a very insightful comment:

“A spanking or punishment is meant for improvement and to bring togetherness!
Miss Lions few ground rules are yours to show her you’re committed to harmony, love and respect!
Not ‘I want and you need.’ “

I hadn’t thought of my rules that way. John, our reader, is right. It isn’t the number or importance of the rules that matter. It’s the opportuntiy they give me to show love and respect. Conversely, the rules give Mrs. Lion a clear way to show me how much she cares and values me as her mate. I appreciate his valuable feedback.