By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Rules, Spanking

We had a very nice teasing session last night. It left Lion very horny. Now he’s in his cage, wondering when he’ll get to come next. It’s only been a few days so I’d say the next orgasm is at least three or four days away. That’s if I’m nice. I may want him to wait a little longer this time around. No reason. Just a whim. And that’s all it has to be.

Before we played, I was wondering where our hairbrush-type paddle is. I think it’s in the camper. However, I do have a short paddle in the kitchen that could work for the new position of being behind him yanking on weenie and the boys. I have no idea if the kitchen paddle is meaner than the hairbrush. It has squarer edges that may hurt more. I guess we’ll find out.

Now I’d like to address a troll who leaves comments from time to time. His latest comment deals with my, apparently, insatiable desire to draw blood when I spank Lion. First I started off sadistically spanking him. I made his butt red and that wasn’t enough. I needed to see marks and bruising. And soon that wasn’t enough. I needed to “see blood to get the same rush. Jeffrey and Ted were like that.” On a first name basis with serial killers, are we?

[Lion — I delete his sick posts.]

Lion wants to be spanked. It’s just one of the deviant services I provide for him. I’m assuming your tender constitution doesn’t agree with oral sex either. Straight missionary for you, I’ll bet. That’s fine. To each his own. Yup. I don’t think you’re weird for wanting your sex however you want it. You see, I have an open mind. Try to pry yours open too.

Back to the business at hand. I found myself hoping Lion had forgotten to remind me of punishment day. I reviewed our emails and there it was; the first email. Darn! I thought maybe he slipped up and a punishment was due. I jokingly told him I was going to write a randomizer program (it turns out there are apps for that) so I could switch up punishment days in a given week. It’s no fun when he doesn’t get himself into trouble. I really do need to come up with new rules.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Femdom
leading man by his balls
Leading a man by the balls. Nothing says control like this!

Sunday night, Mrs. Lion decided to spank me using the method I shared with her in an earlier post. I also put a picture of it in her last post. (Click here to see that image) I was positioned on the edge of the bed on my knees with my nose buried in the comforter. My legs were parted, and she had clear access to my cock and balls.

She began by grabbing my entire package and firmly pulling it back. It felt good. She spanked me using her bare hand while pulling my package with the other. Granted, a barehanded spanking is not particularly painful. Because she was tugging on my package, the skin from my balls was pulled tight. Her swats had a different, thuddy feel. It was much less sting than I expected. If she uses this position and grip with a paddle, I think it will be a brand-new sensation.

I felt very vulnerable. I could feel myself getting hard in her grip. Let’s face it, we are not used to having someone use our cock and balls as a convenient handle to keep us in position. Maybe this is the way other people feel when they receive an over the knee spanking. I don’t know because I’ve never had one. This new position gave me a very strong connection to Mrs. Lion.

My erection wasn’t about being turned on. At least I don’t think it was. It was more about such a protected part of my body being used to help punish me. I know what you’re thinking. Mrs. Lion has been known to use Icy Hot on my balls. She’s also covered them and my penis with pinching clothespins. So I’m not a stranger to her doing things to my genitals.

Somehow this was different. For one thing, she had my cock and balls pulled out behind me. I’ve rarely had that experience. Her grip was strong and she clearly meant business. I was very careful to avoid moving away from her.

Afterward, she asked me how I liked it. I told her that it made me feel her very strongly. She remarked that I probably felt more controlled. That’s it! I did. There are a lot of deep feelings attached to a firm grip around my balls or the entire package. I thought to myself that in a fun time it might be exciting to be “milked” while on my knees, nose into the comforter, cock pulled out behind me. It would certainly be a major change from my standard position on my back, legs apart.

My normal position for spanking is now with me lying over the edge of the bed with my legs dangling. Prior to this, I lay either across the foot of the bed or up and down on my side of the bed. In both cases I’m flat on my stomach. It would be very difficult to accept a harder spanking while on my knees. In the past, when we tried it, I’ve invariably collapsed down to a prone position. If Mrs. Lion has a firm grip on my cock and balls, dropping to a prone position would be problematic.

Our new over-the-edge-of-the-bed position has me bent at the hips. Mrs. Lion discovered this offers her new territory at the base of my buttocks and top of my thighs. When lying flat, the skin is rather loose their and apparently less appealing to her.

She commented that it was a bit awkward holding my balls in one hand and spanking me with the other. I suggested that one of the short paddles — we have one shaped just like a woman’s hairbrush — would probably work quite well. Naturally, she will need practice to see if she can perfect her technique in this new position.

I think that some women in dominant roles may not be aware of the immense power they have simply by non-sexually grabbing a man’s genitals. Most women have been taught to treat male naughty bits tenderly and avoid them if sex isn’t on the menu. For our part, we protect our genitals and give women the impression they are very delicate.

Balls are tough. In fact, it’s easy to cause pain down there with rough handling, but it’s fairly hard to cause any real injury. Mrs. Lion knows I hate having my balls slapped, but she also knows she’s not going to injure me if she does slap hard. That sort of contact is in the context of play or punishment. Even Mrs. Lion who isn’t a bit shy about touching and playing with my cock and balls, only gets involved when she wants to play or be sexual.

I don’t expect contact in any other context. When she grabbed my cock and balls as a handle to keep me in place for Sunday night’s spanking, it was a new context for both of us. It sent me a very strong message. Now that I think about it, nonsexual, non-play handling of my genitals sends me a strong message of her ownership.

I think I learned something that opens up a new avenue of communicating physical ownership. Routine use of my cock and/or balls as a handle or leash, if you will, injects a whole new level of intimacy and control. No one ever did what Mrs. Lion did last night when she spanked me. If she regularly used my cock and balls for nonsexual control, I think we would cross a new boundary of intimacy.

Obviously, such intimate touching isn’t possible in public situations. It’s also difficult if I’m dressed. However, a subtle squeeze to my clothed crotch is a symbolic way of reminding me of her ownership and control. This works if the context is not sexual. Even if I respond sexually by getting hard, I still get the message. It’s a little like the pre-spanking erection guys often get, and lose quickly, when they’re about to be spanked.

I’ve never thought of Mrs. Lion touching or holding my genitals in a non-sexual context. CBT and other painful activities are, at the root, sexual in nature. Using that area of my body as a way of controlling, leading me or keeping me in place, is not sexual at all. Initially, I may try to interpret it that way, but if Mrs. Lion makes it very clear that’s not what she’s doing, I will learn.

This is one of the few activities that almost all guys never experience. As such, initiating it inside a female dominant relationship offers a unique opportunity to reach inside our male psyches and underline our submission to our partners.

What do you think, Mrs. Lion?

By:
In: Edging, Spanking

We tried the new spanking position that Lion wanted to try. He was on his knees with his head on the bed. He wanted me to grab his balls to hold him still. It was easier to grab his cock and balls together than it was to just grab his balls. I had no problem tugging them behind him. Unfortunately, I seem to be in my own way when I spank him like this.

I decided to use my hands since that’s what it shows in the pictures. I’m afraid I wasn’t very effective. I was concerned that a paddle would add another element to things and I didn’t want to be juggling balls and a paddle at the same time. I’m not very happy with this position but I won’t give up after only one try. Lion says he loves when I do things to him from behind so we’ll be trying again at some point.

As evidence of his affinity for things being done behind him, my weenie was standing at near attention when he rolled back over. His arousal waned for a bit, but I kept playing with him and eventually it came back. I edged him within an inch of his life. I got very close at least twice. I thought maybe he was heading for a ruined orgasm but it stopped just short. I had a very horny Lion.

Just before bed, when I was about to do his eye drops, I handed him the base ring for him to put on. He made a face. He said he thought I forgot. I did until I saw it on his nightstand. Now he is horny and securely locked away. I haven’t heard a peep about the cage so I assume it hasn’t been an issue for him. I know he’d rather be wild but that’s just too bad.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Spanking
This is a modern “copy” of a so-called medieval chastity belt. Supposedly women were locked into these for years at a time.

It’s difficult to sort out the real “history” of enforced chastity and marital spanking. You may wonder why I use both in the same sentence. The fact is, both represent surrender of specific powers from one partner to the other. The chastity folks like to believe there is a centuries-long tradition dating back to the Crusades. According to them, women were put in chastity belts to protect the purity of the bloodline while the husband was off fighting infidels.

This was shown to be myth over a century ago. During Victorian times museums displayed medieval female chastity belts. A few decades later, they were quietly removed from display. Even though personal hygiene was questionable in medieval times, any barrier put over a woman’s vagina would be an invitation for horrible infections and disease. The idea of a knight going off for years at a time to do battle leaving his wife safely locked in a metal chastity device is romantic and impossible.

The actual genesis of chastity devices dates back to Victorian times. In Europe, principally England, a belief took hold that male masturbation caused insanity. As a result, chastity devices were invented and manufactured. Male residents of insane asylums were often locked into these cruel devices.

Many families believed that adolescent boys needed protection from themselves. These poor boys were also locked in devices designed to prevent masturbation. Apparently, at some point the boy was unlocked and allowed access to his penis. There are no authoritative examples of female chastity devices until much later.

The US Patent Office has thousands of applications for chastity equipment. Most, as you might expect were designed for use on males. There were some for females as well. In the 1990s I met the manufacturer of Access Denied Chastity Belts. These chastity belts were very well designed and manufactured out of top-grade stainless steel. They made a male model and a female model. 25% of their sales were female models sold to women. The women who bought them said they wanted these devices to protect them when they went out. These women had a serious fear of being raped.

The male model was sold to guys who wanted to be locked up. Like today, many had no keyholder but still wanted no access to their sex organs. Some had keyholders and the belts were used the same way chastity devices are used now. Access Denied went out of business when it’s owner died suddenly at a young age. There are still full chastity belts available. They are made in Europe.

My takeaway is that the true purpose of chastity devices, the male ones anyway, was always to prevent masturbation. Originally it was used in order to promote mental health; more recently, as part of a sexual power exchange.

Every so often I hear that the use of male chastity devices is growing enormously. Some people quote staggering numbers. One blogger actually claimed that one out of every six heterosexual males bought a chastity device. Given that the planet has about 6 billion inhabitants with 3 billion being male, and let’s say, 2 billion being heterosexual, that means over 300 million men currently have chastity devices. That’s more than the total population of the United States.

Obviously that number is completely idiotic. Since we don’t have any billionaire chastity device makers, and in fact, most are very small businessmen, it’s safer to assume that the number of men wearing or owning chastity devices is considerably less than 100,000. Clearly, our practice is not a popular hobby.

That doesn’t mean that the practice of enforced male chastity isn’t a profound experience to people who do it. It certainly is for Mrs. Lion and I. It’s given a completely new shape to our sex lives. By its very nature, male chastity, converts what some people think is a spontaneous activity into one that is planned and controlled by a single member of the relationship. Based on people I’ve talked to, the vast majority of those who practice this do it over short periods of time, like a weekend. The rest of the time sexual activity is mutually decided on.

lion's paddle
In our house, spanking goes one way. Mrs. Lion spanks and I receive the spanking. This is a small paddle we hang in the entrance to our camper. It makes the point very clearly.

That brings me to the second piece of power exchange: spanking. This practice has a long history of use as a means of discipline for both adults and children. Over time, it’s had varying degrees of popularity. When people think of marital spanking, they typically consider that the wife is disciplined by her husband. I doubt if husband-spanking has any real level of awareness in the general population. In fact, women controlling a marriage is a popular form of humor.

There are religious sects that practice male domination with wives being spanked when they need to be punished. The term “Domestic Discipline” traditionally applies to marriages where the husband spanks his wife when she fails to live up to his expectations or obey his orders. This is almost always religiously based where the church provides permission quoting various biblical passages to justify this activity. I don’t think you could consider this truly consensual.

The only examples of husbands being spanked by their wives that I can find comes from a consensual agreement between the partners that she will use corporal punishment to enforce her leadership. I don’t like using the term domestic discipline to describe this since it has the bad smell of non-consensual domestic beatings. I prefer to call this a Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD).

Unlike the religiously based spankings, FLRD is in agreement between the partners. The man, me for example, explicitly asks his wife to take charge and punish him for failing to do what he’s supposed to do. Some couples spell out the sort of things this covers; we don’t. If you read this blog regularly, you know that I get serious spankings from Mrs. Lion.

There’s a third flavor of corporal punishment. It’s called the Spencer Spanking System. It’s pretty easy to find information about how this works, but much more difficult to verify its provenance. Regardless of its origin, which is supposed to be created by a certain Mrs. Spencer, this system features mutual spanking as a way of maintaining domestic tranquility.

The idea is that the couple agree on what offenses need to be punished. It’s almost a contract. Each partner consents to accept corporal punishment if they break any of those agreed rules. The “system” is very specific about how punishment is to be administered. Apparently, women are only to get hand spankings. They are to be naked and over their husbands lap to receive them. Men, on the other hand are to receive “whippings”. I take this to mean strapping or paddling.

The punishments are to be performed in silence. Both partners agree that once the punishment is complete, there are no hard feelings or repercussions of any kind. There is no evidence that this ever caught on. I think it would be extremely difficult to manage. I also think it’s largely unnecessary.

The kind of FLRD that Mrs. Lion and I have won’t work for most couples. It’s been extremely difficult to implement effectively. We both have had long learning curves to become effective in our respective roles. In a way that’s really good. In order for us to both benefit, we have to integrate not only the authority model but also the idea of concrete retribution into our marriage. Almost out of sheer luck, we found a path that lets us do exactly that. We started out with trivial offenses and largely ineffective spankings.

The trivial offenses are very easy to commit and therefore offer very frequent opportunities for me to get spanked. Over time, the spankings became much stricter and more effective. I learned to accept more painful spankings. Even though the offenses were easy to commit in the beginning, without trying, I pretty nearly stopped committing them. The punishment actually corrected my behavior. Since the spankings were far more severe, it was a good thing I needed them less often.

All this comes together with the concept that one partner in our marriage gets most of the control. Mrs. Lion has absolute control over when I get to ejaculate. I think you’ll agree that sex is probably a male’s favorite activity. I have absolutely no control over when I get to enjoy it. Odd as it may sound, I learned to like it this way. I don’t want the control back, ever.

Similarly, I’ve given Mrs. Lion the ability to set any kind of boundary she wants on my life, create rules I must follow, and punish me if I don’t meet her expectations. She has chosen spanking as her preferred punishment. I have learned to bare my bottom and get into position whenever she wishes.

This can seem very one sided and unfair. Actually, it isn’t. Mrs. Lion is very aware of how much control she has. She wants me to be happy. She uses her power wisely and with my best interest in mind. That doesn’t mean I’m always delighted to lie across the bed and suffer a long, painful spanking. Often I’m not. But I do know that she has a good reason for doing it and that ultimately I will be happier because of our power exchange.