Here we are in the depths of winter. Maybe it’s the season, but very few bloggers I follow have written anything since Christmas. That’s a little surprising. It’s not like there is a ton of stuff to do in January unless you are in the Southern Hemisphere. What do I know? I miss the fun reading.

I’ve noticed that a disproportionately large percentage of people commenting on this site are men who say their wives are no longer interested in sex. Almost all of them lament that they can’t get their wives to provide sexual attention for them. There are a couple of ways to look at this. One is that male chastity can be a one-player game and add interest and excitement to masturbation.

Many guys who wear chastity devices don’t have keyholders. Many who do handle all the locking and unlocking themselves from what I see. It doesn’t matter. Wearing a male chastity device definitely adds excitement to a man’s sex life. Reading about the subject is also hot.

Couples who actively practice it can use the male orgasm control to provide an active sex life for a man whose wife has little or no interest in sex for herself. Male chastity is a game where the stakes can get high, for the man at least. Mrs. Lion is an expert at making me desperate to ejaculate. This is a game that values cock teasing. Fun for women who like to see men helplessly beg to get release.

Mrs. Lion is the first woman I’ve known who actively dislikes the idea of me masturbating. She simply doesn’t want me to do it. Other women, I’ve known, considered it a way to get me off without having to do anything. I never liked that aspect of it. For me, jerking off was a tension-relieving activity like jogging or lifting weights. It wasn’t that much fun, but I really missed it when I didn’t get to do it. Mrs. Lion doesn’t allow it, and I haven’t jerked off since December 2013. I don’t think about doing it anymore.

It appears that there are more reasons for men who don’t have active partners to read our blog than men and women who have active-if-kinky sex lives. I could be wrong. I’ll only find out if I hear from you.

When Lion asked to be locked in a chastity device, the first thing I did was have him jerk off while I watched. I wanted to learn how he did it. Then, I told him that he could never jerk off again.
(That’s him in the picture)

I had no idea we’d been practicing male chastity for eight years. I have a hard time believing we’ve been together for almost twenty years. It makes perfect sense when you do the math, but where does the time go? I won’t say every aspect of male chastity is perfect, but it’s been great overall. Two things that stick out in my mind that aren’t so good are Lion’s inability to maintain an erection when he’s standing and my inability to give him as much attention as he’d like. The standing erection only really mattered when I wanted sex. I enjoyed anal sex. My failure to provide him with attention is less of an inability and more of a failing.

While I still don’t think it has anything to do with my not wanting sex, I tend not to make sex for him a priority. I used to. He got sex every night. He got an orgasm every night. As married couples do, we slowed down. Lion wouldn’t ask for sex. He didn’t want to be rejected. I guess I got tired of always being the one initiating, so I stopped asking too. Sex became a once-a-week or so activity. Eventually, Lion proposed male chastity.

When Lion gets an idea in his head, he runs with it. I mean, he reads everything he can find, he buys any toys or equipment needed to explore it fully, and he talks about it incessantly. If he discovers a new paddle, we have it in every possible configuration. Enemas? Let’s buy a case. More is better. Usually, we explored those things for a while, and they died off. So when he suggested male chastity, I assumed the same would happen. Ha!

When he explained that he’d been feeling neglected, I felt horrible and knew I had to change things. Male chastity or not, Lion needed more attention. It just so happens that male chastity pretty much requires more attention. True, it doesn’t provide as many orgasms as he might have liked, but if he was looking for attention, he was going to get it. Fairly early on, we decided I should unlock him and tease him at least every other night. I have a habit of allowing inertia to take over. I could easily have left him locked up for days without really thinking about it.

The first thing I asked Lion to do was masturbate for me. I wanted to see his technique so I could try to imitate it. If anyone knew how to arouse him and give him an orgasm, it would be him. Then I locked him up and told him he wasn’t allowed to touch himself again. The second thing I did was give him an orgasm every night. Hmmm…doesn’t male chastity mean less sex? I don’t know why I did it. Maybe it was because he’d gotten an orgasm every night when we first started living together, and I was trying to right the ship. Maybe it was because I felt bad that I’d neglected him for so long. Whatever the reason, it became clear that Lion couldn’t maintain an orgasm a night for more than a week. But at least he had fun along the way.

It took a while, but we got into a rhythm, and all was right with the world. He had fairly reasonable wait times. I made him wait for an agonizing 28 days once. At a certain point, he stopped being as horny as he was in the beginning. He was harder to arouse. We figured out he has a sweet spot of four to seven days. He tends to be horny within that window. Not that he’s not horny other times. He’s just reliably horny then.

We’ve been through a lot in those eight years. Lion has had multiple surgeries, some of which have left him less able to do things. We’ve speculated that my having to do more around the house has left me stressed out. Truth be told, I’m wondering if I never recovered from our move a few years ago. That was incredibly stressful for both of us. It might have been the beginning of the end for me in terms of having enough energy to give Lion attention. What I need to do is to go back to my original self-imposed every-other-day rule. If Lion is up for attention, he should get it every other day. It’s too easy for me to wallow in inertia. Who knows? Maybe it will help my stress level if I focus more on keeping to a play schedule.

You know me. I’m always up for an experiment.

Did you know that the leading cause of death is birth? The human mortality rate is 100%. Most of us never think about this. There’s a song that I’ve always liked, “Enjoy Yourself It’s Later Than You Think.” It’s particularly relevant to us. It’s way too easy to put things off until it is too late. This is particularly true of sexual fun as we age. Our ability to enjoy sex changes. It takes longer to orgasm. More intense stimulation is needed to arouse us. Time isn’t our friend.

There isn’t much information out there about aging and sex for kinksters. I’ve been interested in this topic for years and may have some useful information to suggest. First and foremost, sexual activity is not only possible, but it’s also desirable at any age. Sure, we change as we grow older, but we can still have fun.

Unsurprisingly, male chastity is easier as we age. The refractory period (the time needed to recharge and ejaculate again after orgasm) grows longer. Arousal is less urgent as well. While we males can still get spontaneous erections all of our lives, they don’t happen as often. Direct stimulation is often needed. Erections are less firm as well. Little pills–Cialis,etc.–help make us harder. They don’t turn us on or make it easier for us to get aroused. All they do is improve blood flow into the penis. Cialis helps me stay nice and stiff for Mrs. Lion.

There is confusion between the refractory period and the amount of time a man needs to recover between orgasms. For example, a fifty-year-old man might take a couple of days to “feel like” coming. His actual refractory period may be under an hour. If you are curious to test this, try a little experiment. I tried it years ago with surprising results. You need a partner for this. It’s simple and fun. Wait until you haven’t ejaculated in several days. Your partner will masturbate you to orgasm every half hour. She jerks you off to orgasm and then starts a 30-minute timer. At the end of 30 minutes, she does it again. It will take longer and longer, and eventually, no semen will come out. Keep this up until she can’t make you hard after trying for ten minutes.

When I tried this with a friend, I was convinced I might come twice and lose interest. The first time was easy. Thirty minutes later, she began again. I was surprised that I got hard rather quickly. I came after about ten minutes of being jerked off. The next time it took longer, but I still managed to come. She gave up after four orgasms because it was near time for dinner, and my penis was getting sore. I imagine I had at least one more in me. Try it yourself and see.

On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve learned that I begin to lose interest in sex after about two weeks without ejaculating. Yes, I can get hard, but it takes more work, and it isn’t easy to get me off. When I was in my thirties and forties, I would get hornier each day I went without. After fifty, long-term chastity is much less of an issue for a man. A shorter-term lockup with lots of teasing between orgasms might be more fun for both partners.

Spanking and domestic discipline haven’t changed much over the years. Skin tends to thin and become more brittle with age. I suppose this applies to the butt as well as other places. I haven’t noticed any appreciable differences over the years. Well, maybe one comes to mind. I feel the results of a spanking longer than when I was younger. I’ve noticed that after Mrs. Lion finishes, some of my skin feels leathery. Over time (three days or so), it stings sometimes. If I use a good skin lotion back there, the effects are reduced. I’ve started applying CeraVe skin lotion every day or so after I shower. It seems to help keep my skin soft and reduce some of the ill effects. This is sensible at any age.

The biggest change is in flexibility. As we age, our ability to safely and comfortably flex our joints diminishes. This comes up when it comes to bondage and other body positions needed for sex or kink. Knees get sore quickly. Staying on all-fours, particularly on a hard surface, gets problematic. We are all different. Pay attention to how it feels to be in a particular position. If it is difficult, find another, an easier one to assume.

Both women and men find reaching orgasm more difficult with age. Perseverance and sometimes mechanical aids (vibrators, etc.) will make things easier. Some people feel that if they have difficulty getting their partners off, it means there is a loss of love or attraction. It usually doesn’t. Sexual response is affected by many non-sexual things. Stress, lack of sleep, weight gain, and many other factors can screw up sexual response.

The key to kink, as we age, is flexibility and understanding. Experiment and adapt as time passes. Change the rules of the games. Change male chastity from a marathon to a sprint. You don’t have to stop what you like to do. You may need to work out new ways to do them.

I wrote our first post in February 2014. It marked our first serious attempt at male chastity. Before then, we had done some BDSM play. Mrs. Lion tied me to the bed or restrained me in our sling. Sometimes, as part of our play, she spanked me. A bruise was exceptionally rare. She put clothespins and IcyHot on my balls. She also plugged my butt and inserted dildos on occasion. We had a normal, slightly kinky marriage.

When we started this blog, we were married twelve years. Intercourse had become rare. Any sex was rare. Mrs. Lion was angry that I didn’t romantically initiate it. My irrational fear of rejection paralyzed me. As bad as our sex life was, our relationship remained very strong. Then, as now, we were completely devoted to one another.

A few weeks before Post One, Mrs. Lion locked me into a Chinese male chastity device. We both assumed that I would grow tired of wearing it after a short time. As you know, I didn’t. The fit wasn’t great, and after a few weeks, I had sores under the base ring. Mrs. Lion removed it. When I healed, it went back on.

From that fateful day in December 2013, I never had an orgasm that Mrs. Lion didn’t produce. On that first night, when she agreed to lock me into a chastity device, she learned that I had been masturbating the entire time we were together. I assumed she knew. To my surprise, she had no idea I did it. When I told her, she made her first rule for me. I was never to masturbate again. Then, she told me to do it while she watched. It would be my last time. She wanted to learn how to replace my hand with hers.

you will not jerk off again!

At the time, I didn’t take this rule too seriously. Since I was locked in a male chastity device, I didn’t have an opportunity to do it anyway. When she unlocked me because of the sores, I wasn’t tempted. Mrs. Lion was teasing me and jerking me off much more frequently than I did it myself.

Over the first few months, we tried several inexpensive chastity devices. All of them made me sore. I ordered my first custom cage, a Jail Bird. It fit well and didn’t hurt me. From that time on, I was only unlocked for teasing or being jerked off by Mrs. Lion. For three years, I was in a male chastity device 24/7.

It came off when I needed shoulder surgery. It stayed off for several months while I recuperated. I wasn’t tempted to masturbate. After I recovered, I was locked up again. There were periods that Mrs. Lion let me be wild. These periods increased in length. Mrs. Lion had broken me. I didn’t attempt to get myself off. The male chastity device did its job. I’m trained not to get myself off. Now, at Post 5,000, I still haven’t masturbated. The only sex I get is delivered by Mrs. Lion when she decides to provide it. If she doesn’t want to tease me, then I go without. I don’t even think of filling in with my own hand.

That’s a huge change for me. A lot of women don’t understand this. They don’t consider masturbation particularly hard to resist. Boys and men jerk off from puberty to grave. I’m a rare exception. I’m even more exotic since I didn’t decide to stop. Mrs. Lion told me to stop, and I obeyed.

please be my disciplinary wife

At Post 1, I asked Mrs. Lion to make rules and spank me if I broke them. She didn’t enforce any for a long time. We agreed that controlling my orgasms was a great start. After a while, I asked again for rules. Mrs. Lion set three: I was not to spill food on my shirt, I had to wait for her to start eating before I begin, and I had to set up our coffee pot for breakfast every morning. Her idea was that I would frequently break these rules, and we would get experience establishing our disciplinary relationship.

It wasn’t as easy as we thought. Mrs. Lion didn’t notice many of my slips. She had to learn to observe my behavior consistently. We both agreed that consistency was essential if we were serious about a disciplinary marriage. It took time for her to learn to catch me every time I broke one of those simple rules. When I did, she frequently forgot to punish me. Life intruded, and days slipped by.

We decided to set punishment days. Mrs. Lion would be sure to set aside time to spank me on those days. She decided that Monday and Thursday would be punishment days. I had to remind her. If I forgot, she would punish me. This worked. Mrs. Lion got better at observing my infractions. She spanked me on punishment days when I earned them. I got quite a few spankings for forgetting to remind her.

I didn’t consciously try not to spill food. I made a small effort to wait before eating. When it came to the coffee pot, well, you know about that. To both of our surprise, after a month or so of consistent punishment for infractions, I rarely got food on my shirt. I rarely ate before Mrs. Lion. As for the coffee pot, well, you know. Most of my spankings were for not reminding Mrs. Lion of punishment days. She decided to add a third. Now Monday, Thursday, and Saturday are punishment days. She added it so that I had another opportunity to forget and earn a punishment.

Mrs. Lion considers catching me breaking the rules as a game. She loves games. She’s gotten very good at the Lion obedience game. I’ve improved too. At Post 5,000, domestic discipline is a permanent part of our marriage. We still have areas to improve. Mrs. Lion has made some newer rules. I am not allowed to interrupt her or act like a know-it-all. At Post 5,000, she rarely lets me know that I break them and seldom punishes me when I do. We both agree that needs to improve.

spare the paddle, spoil the lion

A few dates after we first met, I mentioned that I like to be spanked. Mrs. Lion agreed to try. Her first effort was with her hand. She hit me so softly that I could barely feel it. Over time, she learned to use more force and tried various paddles on me. By Post 1, she could make me yelp a little. I rarely bruised or felt the results more than a few minutes after she finished.

I encouraged her to make it hurt more. I wanted to dread a spanking. After all, it was punishment. Mrs. Lion tried. At one point, we decided that a punishment spanking should be horrible from the first swat. So, she hit very hard right from the start. I was trying to escape by the fourth or fifth swat. That wasn’t the answer. Around this time, Julie of strictjuliespanks and I were becoming friends.

She wrote about how she spanks her husband. Julie starts with more gentle warmup swats and works up to punishment-level spanking. That way, her husband doesn’t try to escape. She made the point that the spanking will still be very unpleasant once she completed the warmup. Mrs. Lion tried this, and it worked.

Mrs. Lion’s spankings were improving but were more at the level of play spankings I’ve received over the years. Mrs. Lion continued to hit harder and longer. I never avoided bruises. However, it was rare when I felt my spanking the next day. We discussed this, and Mrs. Lion decided to increase the time of a spanking. Before timing them, Mrs. Lion beat me until she decided I had enough. It turned out that a spanking rarely went five minutes.

Then I read an account of a Disciplinary Wives Club Spanking. Aunt Kay, who founded the DWC, taught that a spanking should last a minimum of ten minutes. If the offense was serious or a repeat, she should add five minutes for each additional enhancement. She advocated that the wife should use a timer to assure she gave full measure to her husband. When the timer sounded, it didn’t mean she finished the spanking. It just reminded the disciplinary wife when she had reached the minimum time.

Mrs. Lion embraced this concept. Now, at Post 5,000, I feel the results of one of her spankings for a minimum of two days after she’s administered it. While it hasn’t happened yet, I’ve been told that she will not hesitate to repeat the spanking the next day if needed. Be careful what you wish for! I dread Mrs. Lion’s spankings. If you look back at our recent posts, you can see pictorial evidence of my blistered bottom.

a surprising journey

Looking ahead from Post 5,000, it’s clear to me that we are on the right track. I can’t explain it, but we have both become happier as we have increased Mrs. Lion’s authority. It isn’t that I have destructive habits. I don’t. Our domestic discipline is more complex and subtle. In one sense, it’s a sort of spanking game. Mrs. Lion improves her observational skills. When she does, she can catch me breaking a rule. When I’m caught, I’m punished.

On the surface, this looks like a tyrannical femdom marriage. The poor lion is beaten for the smallest offenses. Yes, I am. I want it that way. Less obvious is the fact that 95 percent of our relationship is traditional and cooperative. We do things for each other because of our love and respect. I have a traditionally male role. I make most of the decisions. Mrs. Lion likes that. However, at any time, she can decide she doesn’t like what I’m doing, and her paddle comes out. I think it should come out more often. I can see the frustration and upset in her eyes when I am thoughtless or interrupt her. What I don’t see is the game-playing lioness who will make me regret what I did. This is an area for growth.

Sitting here at Post 5,000, I can say that our marriage is stronger. Our bond is not going to break. I love Mrs. Lion with all my heart. I can’t believe how lucky I am that she chose to love me.