In so many ways 2020 is a year we all want to forget. Our 100-year plague struck as COVID-19. Everything changed. Here in the US, the complete lack of national leadership made us the most severely impacted country in the world. I’m out of work as a direct result of the pandemic. The term “pivot” has come into popular use to describe the ways we adapt to the disease. 2021 isn’t shaping up much better. We have a new president. He’s a political hack, but at least he cares about the country. There is a good chance that he will appoint good people and clean up the mess that the worst president in American history has made.

2020 was also the year I had the least orgasms since we began tracking. It was 33 versus 51 for 2019. I’m not sure that means anything. Some people think that the lower that number goes, the better I’m under female control. I totally disagree. That implies that the objective of male chastity is to eliminate ejaculation. That makes absolutely no sense to me.

You don’t demonstrate control by extinguishing something. You have control when you decide when the male gets to come. Mrs. Lion has absolute control over me in that area. I haven’t had a single orgasm that she didn’t supply. That’s control! If she believes I don’t need to ejaculate more than once every ten to fourteen days then that’s what I get. In 2020, my average was an orgasm every eleven days. All were either handjobs or oral. Since June, all but one was oral. I think it’s hot that my sex life is controlled this way. Essentially, I’m milked on a regular basis that doesn’t require my input. That’s the essence of male chastity. I like losing control.

2020 was also a year that our disciplinary relationship changed a bit. Mrs. Lion has been less focused on our FLR. Her routines have changed. She is working from home and hasn’t developed the rhythm she had when she commuted. She is less inclined to punish me for anything other than forgetting to set up the coffee pot. I haven’t been punished for anything else in months. I would like to say that I didn’t do anything else wrong, but that’s not true. She seems less inclined to be a disciplinary wife lately. Part of the reason for this might be that she hasn’t been feeling as well as usual. Part may be inertia.

I’ve also noticed that male chastity devices seem more popular. I’m basing this on pictures I’ve seen on twitter and other social media. Most of the devices appear to be the cheap Chinese cages. Every single one I’ve seen are too big for the penis inside it, some by more than an inch. I suppose that’s inevitable. In case you know someone who doesn’t get it, remind him that the end of the cage should always be in firm contact with the head of the penis.

Perhaps 2021 will be a better year in that respect. Maybe my ejaculate production will be allowed to go up as well. I doubt that. I hope that we can get back to the much more active disciplinary relationship that we had before. I think we were both happier. Stay tuned.

Mrs. Lion didn’t write a post yesterday. She lost a close member of her family and needs time to regroup. As you probably know, she doesn’t like to show her feelings, but she was very sad. It wasn’t unexpected. No matter how much you prepare for something like this, it’s still a shock. We will snuggle and if she wants to talk about it, I will listen.

I appear to be broken again. On Thursday night, Mrs. Lion put in a valiant effort to get me to the edge. She couldn’t. That was 19 days since my last orgasm. I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m hoping that when she is in the mood to try again, I’ll be more responsive. She suggested that we play Spankardy on Thursday. By Final Jeopardy, I had amassed 58 swats. I bet just 10 on final. It was a category I don’t feel comfortable with. To both of our surprise, I answered correctly. Mrs. Lion gave me 48 swats. It was fun to play again. It’s been months since the last time.

We are starting our eighth year of male chastity. It was this week in December 2013 that I asked my lioness to lock me in a chastity device. She was sure I would quickly lose interest. I don’t think she had a real idea what it was about. But right from the beginning things changed. The big revelation was that I masturbated. Mrs. Lion had no idea I did that. I was shocked to learn that. I was even more surprised when she told me that she hated the idea of me jerking off. Her first rule was that I  could never do that again. She made it clear that she was serious. It really bothered her that I had been doing it.

We discussed it that first night. She surprised me again by telling me to jerk off while she watched. Given her dislike of the practice, I was confused and said so. She replied that she wanted to see my technique. She figured that if she copied what I did, she would have the most success giving me handjobs. She is a very good student.

In the years that followed, I never jerked off again. I also learned to live with a limited, controlled number of ejaculations. How many and how often are topics of conversation we share. Mrs. Lion is perfectly comfortable asking me how horny I am. Surprisingly, she is happy to tell me that it doesn’t matter. I will ejaculate when she decides to get me off.

All these years later, that doesn’t seem startling or unusual to me. But I wonder how many other men’s orgasms are topics of dinner conversation? Nothing is private about my sex life. It might have bothered me at one point, but now it is just the way things are.

I can’t figure out if the pandemic is affecting interest in male chastity and domestic discipline. In one sense the need for quarantine and social distancing would encourage couples to do things at home that don’t include other people. Male chastity and domestic discipline certainly fall into that category. Maybe I can help encourage some sexual fun with a slightly different slant on these activities. Let’s start with definitions. These definitions are not all-encompassing, just designed to get folks started with some sexy fun.

Domestic discipline

You can think of this as a penalty game. One partner agrees to accept the discipline and the other administers it. Some couples switch off and take turns. In our house, Mrs. Lion is in charge and disciplines me. She has selected spanking as her preferred method of discipline. This is a good choice for many. Over 85% of adults have spanking fantasies.

The rules that if broken, earn a spanking can be anything you agree on. They can be trivial things the spankee is bound to break, or they can be real behavioral issues. We started off with trivial rules I would be likely to break. I had to avoid getting food on my shirt. OK, it’s true, I’m a messy eater. You get the idea. Both partners are expected to observe and report infractions. When a rule is broken, a spanking or other penalty results.

We have written endlessly about how to spank and what to use to administer it. The menu bar on the top of this page has some spanking articles. Spankings are always administered on a naked bottom. There are no exceptions to this. If one is earned where it is impossible to administer, you can do it at the spanker’s convenience. Mrs. Lion sometimes spanks me days later. It’s your choice what to use to spank. This is a fun topic to share with the spankee.

Domestic Discipline (DD) can start as a fun game and then over time become a useful part of marriage. It has happened this way with us. Believe it or not, I actually almost never spill food on my shirt. That wasn’t the intention, but apparently, DD actually works! Most men and women get aroused thinking about being spanked. They may not like it when they get one, but overall it is a very sexy activity.

Male chastity

Everything about male chastity is sexy fun. The idea is simple. The man agrees to not masturbate and gives his partner the power to decide when he gets to ejaculate. To make it more interesting, his partner may tease him and have him get her off while he remains frustrated. A very exciting form of teasing is edging. The woman masturbates her partner right to the very edge of ejaculation and stops. She gives him a little time to come down and then does it again. Rinse and repeat.

Edging is the closest a male can get to multiple orgasms. I’ve learned to love it. This sort of thing goes on for days without letting him come. Eventually, he gets to ejaculate. Many women find that one ejaculation every 7 to 10 days is optimum. There are no rules about this other than she gets to decide. He gets no input.

You can add a bondage element to the game by getting a male chastity device and locking it over his penis. There are lots of posts and pages about this here. The point is that it’s fun for both partners with or without a device.

Both Domestic discipline and male chastity offer sexy fun for bored quarantined couples. Mrs. Lion and I have a lot of fun with both.

Male chastity is a very exciting, sexy game. There are one and two-player versions. This recipe is for two. The basics are very simple. The male agrees to allow his partner full sexual control. He will not masturbate or do anything else that results in ejaculation. His only release is provided by his partner. Simple, right? But that’s not all.

Remember that the point of all this is sexual control. This control is expressed by preventing ejaculation until the person in charge decides he should have one. Since virtually all men have been masturbating since hair first appeared on their penises, it makes sense to do something concrete to prevent this activity from continuing. That’s where hardware enters the picture.

Locking up his cock adds intensity

Fitting him with a male chastity device gives him a very clear reminder that he no longer controls his penis. You can play the game without hardware, but it is substantially more fun if the penis is locked up. Locked or not, the fun for him comes from being reminded that someone else has taken ownership. Some women think that their part is simply to lock up his penis and then unlock him — or have him unlock himself — when directed. Some guys even keep the keys to their chastity devices. I suggest that isn’t the best idea.

The entire point of the game is control. If you go to the trouble of using a male chastity device, then it doesn’t make a lot of sense to let him control it. Even if he faithfully resists removing it himself without permission, a big part of the fun is missing. There is a very real psychological change that takes place when a device is locked on his penis that he can’t remove. It’s the difference between “won’t” and “can’t”. There is an enormous gap between the two. When I am locked in a male chastity device, Mrs. Lion keeps the keys. I can’t release my penis. When I am left wild, I won’t masturbate. When I’m wild, I have a choice. I choose to let Mrs. Lion control the use of my penis. When I am locked up, that choice is gone. It belongs to her. Period.

Another important ingredient in this recipe is the one that adds most of the spice: physical ownership. If the male is allowed to masturbate under supervision, he retains physical ownership. The game he is playing is much less intense. If only his keyholder is able to physically stimulate him, he is totally dependent on her for any sexual pleasure.

male chastity is strictly hands off for me

When I am locked in my male chastity device, the only hands, or mouth that touch my penis belong to Mrs. Lion. Even when wild, I am never permitted to bring myself close to orgasm. In the last seven years, only Mrs. Lion has done that. This dimension of physical control is what makes male chastity an intensely exciting practice. Too many women misunderstand this critical part of their role.

Another very important ingredient is teasing. The obvious kind is to unlock him and then bring him to the edge of orgasm over and over. Then, lock him up again. If done on a daily or every-other-day basis, he is kept very horny and feeling controlled. At other times, even when he is dressed, some possessive rubbing of his crotch is a strong reminder of who owns his cock. It is also very helpful to verbally remind him that he isn’t in control.

When Mrs. Lion teases me verbally it’s a big turn on. She might remind me how long it’s been since my last orgasm and smile saying it will be even longer. If I mention that I’m horny, she’ll say, “Good! That’s how I like you.”

Sometimes in email or in a post here she will let me know what is coming. A few days ago she wrote she was going to fig me (peel a big piece of ginger and put it up my ass). I spent the day anticipating the play. The goal is to keep sex near the top of my mind at all times. The combination of being reminded of sex and my inability to have it is one of the most intense parts of male chastity.

male chastity isn’t a way to reduce sexual contact

Some women think that male chastity and orgasm control is a way to avoid sexual contact. I suppose it can be. I know that some guys lock and unlock themselves and even have to edge themselves and at some point jerk off. Their partners’ only job is to supervise. This isn’t my idea of how to play this game for two. This practice is essentially how a guy plays it if he doesn’t have a partner.

Chances are very good that if a woman agrees to play, she will have a lot more sexual contact with her partner than she did before the game. The big difference is that he will almost certainly have fewer orgasms. I think that the more active she is, the more fun they both will have.

When we began male chastity, we had a contract. It wasn’t very long. I agreed not to masturbate and Mrs. Lion agreed to unlock me and edge me at least every other day. Most of the time she teased me every day. This made being locked up a lot more fun. Orgasm control isn’t isolation from sexual activity. It is controlled ejaculations. I probably get more sexual attention than most men. I get a lot fewer opportunities to ejaculate. That’s what spicy male chastity is all about.