Male chastity is a very exciting, sexy game. There are one and two-player versions. This recipe is for two. The basics are very simple. The male agrees to allow his partner full sexual control. He will not masturbate or do anything else that results in ejaculation. His only release is provided by his partner. Simple, right? But that’s not all.

Remember that the point of all this is sexual control. This control is expressed by preventing ejaculation until the person in charge decides he should have one. Since virtually all men have been masturbating since hair first appeared on their penises, it makes sense to do something concrete to prevent this activity from continuing. That’s where hardware enters the picture.

Locking up his cock adds intensity

Fitting him with a male chastity device gives him a very clear reminder that he no longer controls his penis. You can play the game without hardware, but it is substantially more fun if the penis is locked up. Locked or not, the fun for him comes from being reminded that someone else has taken ownership. Some women think that their part is simply to lock up his penis and then unlock him — or have him unlock himself — when directed. Some guys even keep the keys to their chastity devices. I suggest that isn’t the best idea.

The entire point of the game is control. If you go to the trouble of using a male chastity device, then it doesn’t make a lot of sense to let him control it. Even if he faithfully resists removing it himself without permission, a big part of the fun is missing. There is a very real psychological change that takes place when a device is locked on his penis that he can’t remove. It’s the difference between “won’t” and “can’t”. There is an enormous gap between the two. When I am locked in a male chastity device, Mrs. Lion keeps the keys. I can’t release my penis. When I am left wild, I won’t masturbate. When I’m wild, I have a choice. I choose to let Mrs. Lion control the use of my penis. When I am locked up, that choice is gone. It belongs to her. Period.

Another important ingredient in this recipe is the one that adds most of the spice: physical ownership. If the male is allowed to masturbate under supervision, he retains physical ownership. The game he is playing is much less intense. If only his keyholder is able to physically stimulate him, he is totally dependent on her for any sexual pleasure.

male chastity is strictly hands off for me

When I am locked in my male chastity device, the only hands, or mouth that touch my penis belong to Mrs. Lion. Even when wild, I am never permitted to bring myself close to orgasm. In the last seven years, only Mrs. Lion has done that. This dimension of physical control is what makes male chastity an intensely exciting practice. Too many women misunderstand this critical part of their role.

Another very important ingredient is teasing. The obvious kind is to unlock him and then bring him to the edge of orgasm over and over. Then, lock him up again. If done on a daily or every-other-day basis, he is kept very horny and feeling controlled. At other times, even when he is dressed, some possessive rubbing of his crotch is a strong reminder of who owns his cock. It is also very helpful to verbally remind him that he isn’t in control.

When Mrs. Lion teases me verbally it’s a big turn on. She might remind me how long it’s been since my last orgasm and smile saying it will be even longer. If I mention that I’m horny, she’ll say, “Good! That’s how I like you.”

Sometimes in email or in a post here she will let me know what is coming. A few days ago she wrote she was going to fig me (peel a big piece of ginger and put it up my ass). I spent the day anticipating the play. The goal is to keep sex near the top of my mind at all times. The combination of being reminded of sex and my inability to have it is one of the most intense parts of male chastity.

male chastity isn’t a way to reduce sexual contact

Some women think that male chastity and orgasm control is a way to avoid sexual contact. I suppose it can be. I know that some guys lock and unlock themselves and even have to edge themselves and at some point jerk off. Their partners’ only job is to supervise. This isn’t my idea of how to play this game for two. This practice is essentially how a guy plays it if he doesn’t have a partner.

Chances are very good that if a woman agrees to play, she will have a lot more sexual contact with her partner than she did before the game. The big difference is that he will almost certainly have fewer orgasms. I think that the more active she is, the more fun they both will have.

When we began male chastity, we had a contract. It wasn’t very long. I agreed not to masturbate and Mrs. Lion agreed to unlock me and edge me at least every other day. Most of the time she teased me every day. This made being locked up a lot more fun. Orgasm control isn’t isolation from sexual activity. It is controlled ejaculations. I probably get more sexual attention than most men. I get a lot fewer opportunities to ejaculate. That’s what spicy male chastity is all about.

I think I need to address Lion’s cheating. The cheating I’m talking about is masturbating. Nope. He hasn’t and I don’t anticipate his doing so. But his concept of punishment and mine are different. When I said we’d be done, I meant just with male chastity. I didn’t mean we’d be done with snuggling and kissing and all other intimate touching. My thought was that if he had reached his limit of horniness and couldn’t possibly wait a second more for me to give him an orgasm, then he shouldn’t wait. Ever. Again.

However, that doesn’t mean I don’t get to play with him ever again. I don’t know that we’d have the same arrangement of my playing with him six out of seven nights. There’d be no urgency for that anymore. We might snuggle every night, which we’ve gotten away from with our present arrangement. I’m not sure how often he’d have an orgasm. My guess is it would be whenever he wanted one because, he’s right in this regard, once I started I’d just keep going to the logical conclusion. It would also mean no edging to heighten the excitement up to the main event.

Somehow he’s gotten the idea that he wouldn’t learn his lesson my way. Oh, there’s no lesson to learn. He doesn’t get three strikes and he’s out. He’s just out. Consider if he cheated on me with another woman. Would I give him three strikes? I doubt it. I suppose I’d have to determine if his cheating was warranted. Did I suddenly stop keeping up my end of the bargain? Did I start working late and no longer pay any attention to him? Did I take all the money and go on a cruise to Mexico and leave him behind for two weeks? If I caused his cheating, then I suppose I could give him his three strikes for cheating. Then again, I’d need to be given some strikes too.

So if he doesn’t lose the intimacy or orgasms, what good is stopping male chastity? He said he assumed I’d continue on being his disciplining wife. Would I? I don’t know. In some respects, they seem to go hand in hand. In others, I can see how they’re separate. I’m just not sure I’d feel obligated or invested enough to continue it. I’m really not sure.

I just thought of a way to put this in more perspective. What if Lion found out I was masturbating rather than asking him for sex? How would he feel? I think he’d be crushed. I wouldn’t be cheating with someone else, but I would be telling him I don’t want him either. To me, that’s very similar to his masturbating. He’d be telling me he couldn’t control himself for me to give him an orgasm. I don’t think either one of us wants to hurt the other like that. For the record, and I can’t believe I feel the need to say it, I’m not masturbating either.

Having said all this, guess where Lion is right now. Yup. In his cage. Why? Because sometimes he whines so much it’s just easier to do what he wants to shut him up. And yes, I know I should have spanked him for whining. I’m pretty sure he still would have whined. And I would have put him in the damn cage. And he wouldn’t have masturbated even if I’d left him wild.

[Lion — I understand how she might be hurt if I jerked off. It’s just that to a guy, masturbation is a little like breathing. It’s a lifelong activity that doesn’t merit much thought. That may be one reason why male chastity hardware is important as a tool to train a male to stop jerking off.

I don’t think I will masturbate. But I am very concerned that something as important and ingrained as our disciplinary relationship would be shattered by jerking off. I think it is too important to be stopped for any behavioral error I make.

Speaking of behavioral errors, it is not too late for punishing me for whining, if that’s what I did. The latest mention of a male chastity device was just last night.]

Lion really wants to rub it. That’s really him.

Lion is a very horny boy right now. He’s very easily aroused and getting him to the edge is a breeze. In fact, I tease him that a slight breeze will push him over the edge. Last night he was pretty insistent that I should lock him up. So much so that he kept bringing it up. He said he didn’t know if I should trust him with a wild weenie. I left him wild.

There were two issues at play: First and foremost, I’m too lazy to drag out a cage and fumble around with lining everything up and getting the lock just so. Second, leaving him wild is a matter of trust. He may like being locked up, he may even think he needs to be locked up, but I should be able to trust him to keep his hands off my property. Actually, there is a third issue. If he gets himself off, we’re done; not the marriage, male chastity.

Whether or not I consider his masturbating to be cheating, the agreement has been that he doesn’t masturbate. He can adjust himself. He can get himself hard. But he can’t jerk himself off, even “just” to the edge. That’s my right. I’m the only one allowed to edge him or give him an orgasm. I take that very seriously. I hope he does too. [Lion — I do.]

The cage was necessary for the beginning. I had to make sure he didn’t falter. Being locked up was also a way to “force” me to give him attention. Since he couldn’t pleasure himself, I needed to do it for him. The cage was an inertia buster. Poor, locked up Lion needed relief. My weenie was in solitary confinement and needed an hour in the yard for recreation. Once Lion was trained (and me too to some extent), the cage was technically no longer necessary. During recuperation from surgeries and illnesses, the cage stayed off longer and longer. Lion still didn’t masturbate.

I suppose it could be good for both of us to revisit the cage from time to time. It’s great that he realized he might have a moment of weakness because he’s so horny. But I’m thinking the cage could be a crutch now. It’s an easy way out. Being super horny and still maintaining his composure is much more difficult. Instead of metal or plastic keeping his hands off, he has to fight against his own instincts. You can do it, Lion.

[Lion — I’m not really worried about getting myself off. Wearing a chastity device also prevents erections. It doesn’t prevent thinking arousing thoughts. It may be extra trouble for Mrs. Lion, but for me it is another powerful reminder that she is in charge. That, in itself, is a big turn-on for me.]

You’ve heard about male chastity. If you’ve been researching it on the Web you have found a lot of pretty strange stuff written about it. Mrs. Lion and I started in 2013. I thought I would offer a simple guide to explain this strange male game. All you need to know is in this short post.

1 Male Chastity is a sex game initiated by men It’s a very simple game. The man turns over control of his penis to his partner. She is called his keyholder. Generally, the man wears a chastity device which makes sexual access to his penis very difficult. His keyholder locks and unlocks his penis. Mrs. Lion kept me locked in a device except when she wanted to tease me or bring me to orgasm.

Most couples who play this game, do it for relatively short periods of time: a weekend, or even several weeks. Some, like us, make it a part of our marriage. I haven’t had an orgasm that Mrs. Lion didn’t give me since we started years ago.

2 The “Rules” are simple Most of what you may read about male chastity is fiction. The stories are generally elaborate tales of sexual slavery. The real game is nothing like that. The one and only rule that both partners need to agree on is that he is not permitted to have sexual release unless it is given to him by his keyholder. Wearing a male chastity device will make this easier for both partners.

We also include regular teasing as part of our game. Mrs. Lion will bring me to the edge of orgasm over and over and then lock me up again. She likes me to wait about a week between orgasms. Even if I am not wearing a chastity device I am not allowed to masturbate. She has full sexual control of my penis. Period.

After playing for a while, the two of you can add more rules. Some couples require the chaste male to pleasure his partner a certain number of times before he is eligible for an orgasm. You both can decide how you want to play. We keep it very simple and we both really enjoy the game.

Shortest Jail Bird on Lion's penis
This is my 1-inch Jail Bird male chastity device. It’s custom made by Mature Metal. It looks uncomfortably tight but actually feels very good. It effectively prevents me from enjoying any sexual arousal.

3 Shopping for a chastity device isn’t complicated A male chastity device is a durable covering for the penis that is locked on so that he has no sexual access to it. Most are a combination of a base ring that goes around his cock and balls and a cage that covers his cock and locks to the base ring. This ring is small enough to not allow his balls to slip out when the device is not on. It shouldn’t be too tight. That will just hurt. The most common size is 1 3/4 inches (55mm).

The cage should be only slightly narrower than his flaccid penis. If it is the same width or a bit wider, that won’t matter. Too narrow can cause medical issues. I’ve found that the cage length is best if short. My flaccid penis usually measures about 2 inches in length (measured on the underside where the scrotum meets the penis). I am very comfortable and secure in a cage that measures just one-inch long. Shorter is better than longer. Compressing the length of the penis is not harmful. The cage should be at least as long as the head of the penis.

that’s it!

You have enough information to start playing. Chances are good that if you are a woman, your partner asked you to read this. My best advice is to let him shop for and purchase his chastity device. Once he gets it, both of you can learn how to lock it on. Then, try it out. It may not be a good fit so make sure he can get out if it hurts him. Once he is safely locked away in a cage he can tolerate, have fun.