I wrote our first post in February 2014. It marked our first serious attempt at male chastity. Before then, we had done some BDSM play. Mrs. Lion tied me to the bed or restrained me in our sling. Sometimes, as part of our play, she spanked me. A bruise was exceptionally rare. She put clothespins and IcyHot on my balls. She also plugged my butt and inserted dildos on occasion. We had a normal, slightly kinky marriage.

When we started this blog, we were married twelve years. Intercourse had become rare. Any sex was rare. Mrs. Lion was angry that I didn’t romantically initiate it. My irrational fear of rejection paralyzed me. As bad as our sex life was, our relationship remained very strong. Then, as now, we were completely devoted to one another.

A few weeks before Post One, Mrs. Lion locked me into a Chinese male chastity device. We both assumed that I would grow tired of wearing it after a short time. As you know, I didn’t. The fit wasn’t great, and after a few weeks, I had sores under the base ring. Mrs. Lion removed it. When I healed, it went back on.

From that fateful day in December 2013, I never had an orgasm that Mrs. Lion didn’t produce. On that first night, when she agreed to lock me into a chastity device, she learned that I had been masturbating the entire time we were together. I assumed she knew. To my surprise, she had no idea I did it. When I told her, she made her first rule for me. I was never to masturbate again. Then, she told me to do it while she watched. It would be my last time. She wanted to learn how to replace my hand with hers.

you will not jerk off again!

At the time, I didn’t take this rule too seriously. Since I was locked in a male chastity device, I didn’t have an opportunity to do it anyway. When she unlocked me because of the sores, I wasn’t tempted. Mrs. Lion was teasing me and jerking me off much more frequently than I did it myself.

Over the first few months, we tried several inexpensive chastity devices. All of them made me sore. I ordered my first custom cage, a Jail Bird. It fit well and didn’t hurt me. From that time on, I was only unlocked for teasing or being jerked off by Mrs. Lion. For three years, I was in a male chastity device 24/7.

It came off when I needed shoulder surgery. It stayed off for several months while I recuperated. I wasn’t tempted to masturbate. After I recovered, I was locked up again. There were periods that Mrs. Lion let me be wild. These periods increased in length. Mrs. Lion had broken me. I didn’t attempt to get myself off. The male chastity device did its job. I’m trained not to get myself off. Now, at Post 5,000, I still haven’t masturbated. The only sex I get is delivered by Mrs. Lion when she decides to provide it. If she doesn’t want to tease me, then I go without. I don’t even think of filling in with my own hand.

That’s a huge change for me. A lot of women don’t understand this. They don’t consider masturbation particularly hard to resist. Boys and men jerk off from puberty to grave. I’m a rare exception. I’m even more exotic since I didn’t decide to stop. Mrs. Lion told me to stop, and I obeyed.

please be my disciplinary wife

At Post 1, I asked Mrs. Lion to make rules and spank me if I broke them. She didn’t enforce any for a long time. We agreed that controlling my orgasms was a great start. After a while, I asked again for rules. Mrs. Lion set three: I was not to spill food on my shirt, I had to wait for her to start eating before I begin, and I had to set up our coffee pot for breakfast every morning. Her idea was that I would frequently break these rules, and we would get experience establishing our disciplinary relationship.

It wasn’t as easy as we thought. Mrs. Lion didn’t notice many of my slips. She had to learn to observe my behavior consistently. We both agreed that consistency was essential if we were serious about a disciplinary marriage. It took time for her to learn to catch me every time I broke one of those simple rules. When I did, she frequently forgot to punish me. Life intruded, and days slipped by.

We decided to set punishment days. Mrs. Lion would be sure to set aside time to spank me on those days. She decided that Monday and Thursday would be punishment days. I had to remind her. If I forgot, she would punish me. This worked. Mrs. Lion got better at observing my infractions. She spanked me on punishment days when I earned them. I got quite a few spankings for forgetting to remind her.

I didn’t consciously try not to spill food. I made a small effort to wait before eating. When it came to the coffee pot, well, you know about that. To both of our surprise, after a month or so of consistent punishment for infractions, I rarely got food on my shirt. I rarely ate before Mrs. Lion. As for the coffee pot, well, you know. Most of my spankings were for not reminding Mrs. Lion of punishment days. She decided to add a third. Now Monday, Thursday, and Saturday are punishment days. She added it so that I had another opportunity to forget and earn a punishment.

Mrs. Lion considers catching me breaking the rules as a game. She loves games. She’s gotten very good at the Lion obedience game. I’ve improved too. At Post 5,000, domestic discipline is a permanent part of our marriage. We still have areas to improve. Mrs. Lion has made some newer rules. I am not allowed to interrupt her or act like a know-it-all. At Post 5,000, she rarely lets me know that I break them and seldom punishes me when I do. We both agree that needs to improve.

spare the paddle, spoil the lion

A few dates after we first met, I mentioned that I like to be spanked. Mrs. Lion agreed to try. Her first effort was with her hand. She hit me so softly that I could barely feel it. Over time, she learned to use more force and tried various paddles on me. By Post 1, she could make me yelp a little. I rarely bruised or felt the results more than a few minutes after she finished.

I encouraged her to make it hurt more. I wanted to dread a spanking. After all, it was punishment. Mrs. Lion tried. At one point, we decided that a punishment spanking should be horrible from the first swat. So, she hit very hard right from the start. I was trying to escape by the fourth or fifth swat. That wasn’t the answer. Around this time, Julie of strictjuliespanks and I were becoming friends.

She wrote about how she spanks her husband. Julie starts with more gentle warmup swats and works up to punishment-level spanking. That way, her husband doesn’t try to escape. She made the point that the spanking will still be very unpleasant once she completed the warmup. Mrs. Lion tried this, and it worked.

Mrs. Lion’s spankings were improving but were more at the level of play spankings I’ve received over the years. Mrs. Lion continued to hit harder and longer. I never avoided bruises. However, it was rare when I felt my spanking the next day. We discussed this, and Mrs. Lion decided to increase the time of a spanking. Before timing them, Mrs. Lion beat me until she decided I had enough. It turned out that a spanking rarely went five minutes.

Then I read an account of a Disciplinary Wives Club Spanking. Aunt Kay, who founded the DWC, taught that a spanking should last a minimum of ten minutes. If the offense was serious or a repeat, she should add five minutes for each additional enhancement. She advocated that the wife should use a timer to assure she gave full measure to her husband. When the timer sounded, it didn’t mean she finished the spanking. It just reminded the disciplinary wife when she had reached the minimum time.

Mrs. Lion embraced this concept. Now, at Post 5,000, I feel the results of one of her spankings for a minimum of two days after she’s administered it. While it hasn’t happened yet, I’ve been told that she will not hesitate to repeat the spanking the next day if needed. Be careful what you wish for! I dread Mrs. Lion’s spankings. If you look back at our recent posts, you can see pictorial evidence of my blistered bottom.

a surprising journey

Looking ahead from Post 5,000, it’s clear to me that we are on the right track. I can’t explain it, but we have both become happier as we have increased Mrs. Lion’s authority. It isn’t that I have destructive habits. I don’t. Our domestic discipline is more complex and subtle. In one sense, it’s a sort of spanking game. Mrs. Lion improves her observational skills. When she does, she can catch me breaking a rule. When I’m caught, I’m punished.

On the surface, this looks like a tyrannical femdom marriage. The poor lion is beaten for the smallest offenses. Yes, I am. I want it that way. Less obvious is the fact that 95 percent of our relationship is traditional and cooperative. We do things for each other because of our love and respect. I have a traditionally male role. I make most of the decisions. Mrs. Lion likes that. However, at any time, she can decide she doesn’t like what I’m doing, and her paddle comes out. I think it should come out more often. I can see the frustration and upset in her eyes when I am thoughtless or interrupt her. What I don’t see is the game-playing lioness who will make me regret what I did. This is an area for growth.

Sitting here at Post 5,000, I can say that our marriage is stronger. Our bond is not going to break. I love Mrs. Lion with all my heart. I can’t believe how lucky I am that she chose to love me.

We started this blog several weeks after Mrs. Lion agreed to lock my penis in a chastity device. That was just about seven years ago. Our blogiversary is on February 7. A lot of similar blogs started at this time of  year. It has to be more than a coincidence. Maybe the cold winter weather has something to do with it–indoor sport, you know. I was very lucky. Mrs. Lion agreed to play.

Other guys aren’t this lucky. Some don’t have partners and still want to experience being made to wait for a chance to ejaculate. Other, married guys may not feel able to ask their partners to play. When we started out, the Web was filled with suggested ways to ask a wife to lock up her husband. I’m sure you can search out these form letters and scripts. I think most of us tend to over complicate things and that’s what causes problems with partners.

I doubt that any man wakes up one morning and decides, “I want my wife to lock me in a male chastity device.” Nope, it doesn’t happen that way. Lots of reading and fantasizing lead up to asking her to do it. That’s normal and fine. Male chastity fantasies are hot to the men who enjoy them. They are very unlikely to turn on a woman. Let’s look at it from her side.

How to ask your partner to lock your cock

First thing, male chastity is a game. It isn’t a lifestyle or religion. It’s a sexual game. This is a key point. If you have any chance at all of convincing your partner to lock your cock, you need to be very clear about exactly what she is expected to do. I know, the fantasies have her portrayed as a cruel mistress who will keep you locked and horny. She will make you do housework and wear panties. She expects you to give her endless oral orgasms as a way to convince her to unlock  you and jerk  you off.

Those are hot fantasies. They don’t work in real life, at least when  you start out. In order to play the male chastity game with you, she has to love you enough to go to the extra trouble the game requires. That means she isn’t a man-hating bitch who wants to see you suffer. Any suggestion that is how you want her to act will almost certainly doom your efforts.

If you suggest that she will get more orgasms if she locks you up, she may well feel hurt and insulted. You are her partner. It’s  your pleasure to give her orgasms. You don’t need to be blackmailed into getting her off, right? If you do, Male chastity is the last thing you need.

Instead, have a much easier conversation with her. Don’t write an email or letter. Talk with her face to face. The first thing to say is that you discovered something that turns you on. She will probably want to know what it is. Tell her it is a sort of game where she decides when you get an orgasm. That may puzzle her. Tell her that it’s very hot for  you to be teased and not be allowed to come. You love the idea of being kept horny for days (Yes, days, not months!).

That sounds pretty harmless to most women. You can also tell her about male chastity devices that assure you won’t jerk off when she isn’t around. When I said that to Mrs. Lion, she was surprised I masturbated. She told me that she didn’t want me to do that. I was amazed she didn’t know I did it and since I was telling her I wanted her to control my orgasms, I could hardly argue with being prohibited from jerking off.

She seemed a little amused about locking me in a male chastity device, and agreed to do it. Later, I learned that she figured I would want out after a short time. Before putting the male chastity device on me, she told me to jerk off one last time. She said she wanted to watch and learn how I do it. I did and then she locked me up.

In the beginning that was pretty much all. She did agree to unlock me and tease me at least every other day. She experimented with different times between orgasms. At first, she jerked me off every day. That was too much for me. Then, she tried different times. She still varies my wait times. We tried other things too. I’ll write about them in a future post.

The key to getting yourself locked into a male chastity device is to make the process as easy as possible for your partner. All  you really need her to do is to keep the key and unlock you now and then for a chance to ejaculate.  Easy peasy!

In so many ways 2020 is a year we all want to forget. Our 100-year plague struck as COVID-19. Everything changed. Here in the US, the complete lack of national leadership made us the most severely impacted country in the world. I’m out of work as a direct result of the pandemic. The term “pivot” has come into popular use to describe the ways we adapt to the disease. 2021 isn’t shaping up much better. We have a new president. He’s a political hack, but at least he cares about the country. There is a good chance that he will appoint good people and clean up the mess that the worst president in American history has made.

2020 was also the year I had the least orgasms since we began tracking. It was 33 versus 51 for 2019. I’m not sure that means anything. Some people think that the lower that number goes, the better I’m under female control. I totally disagree. That implies that the objective of male chastity is to eliminate ejaculation. That makes absolutely no sense to me.

You don’t demonstrate control by extinguishing something. You have control when you decide when the male gets to come. Mrs. Lion has absolute control over me in that area. I haven’t had a single orgasm that she didn’t supply. That’s control! If she believes I don’t need to ejaculate more than once every ten to fourteen days then that’s what I get. In 2020, my average was an orgasm every eleven days. All were either handjobs or oral. Since June, all but one was oral. I think it’s hot that my sex life is controlled this way. Essentially, I’m milked on a regular basis that doesn’t require my input. That’s the essence of male chastity. I like losing control.

2020 was also a year that our disciplinary relationship changed a bit. Mrs. Lion has been less focused on our FLR. Her routines have changed. She is working from home and hasn’t developed the rhythm she had when she commuted. She is less inclined to punish me for anything other than forgetting to set up the coffee pot. I haven’t been punished for anything else in months. I would like to say that I didn’t do anything else wrong, but that’s not true. She seems less inclined to be a disciplinary wife lately. Part of the reason for this might be that she hasn’t been feeling as well as usual. Part may be inertia.

I’ve also noticed that male chastity devices seem more popular. I’m basing this on pictures I’ve seen on twitter and other social media. Most of the devices appear to be the cheap Chinese cages. Every single one I’ve seen are too big for the penis inside it, some by more than an inch. I suppose that’s inevitable. In case you know someone who doesn’t get it, remind him that the end of the cage should always be in firm contact with the head of the penis.

Perhaps 2021 will be a better year in that respect. Maybe my ejaculate production will be allowed to go up as well. I doubt that. I hope that we can get back to the much more active disciplinary relationship that we had before. I think we were both happier. Stay tuned.

Mrs. Lion didn’t write a post yesterday. She lost a close member of her family and needs time to regroup. As you probably know, she doesn’t like to show her feelings, but she was very sad. It wasn’t unexpected. No matter how much you prepare for something like this, it’s still a shock. We will snuggle and if she wants to talk about it, I will listen.

I appear to be broken again. On Thursday night, Mrs. Lion put in a valiant effort to get me to the edge. She couldn’t. That was 19 days since my last orgasm. I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m hoping that when she is in the mood to try again, I’ll be more responsive. She suggested that we play Spankardy on Thursday. By Final Jeopardy, I had amassed 58 swats. I bet just 10 on final. It was a category I don’t feel comfortable with. To both of our surprise, I answered correctly. Mrs. Lion gave me 48 swats. It was fun to play again. It’s been months since the last time.

We are starting our eighth year of male chastity. It was this week in December 2013 that I asked my lioness to lock me in a chastity device. She was sure I would quickly lose interest. I don’t think she had a real idea what it was about. But right from the beginning things changed. The big revelation was that I masturbated. Mrs. Lion had no idea I did that. I was shocked to learn that. I was even more surprised when she told me that she hated the idea of me jerking off. Her first rule was that I  could never do that again. She made it clear that she was serious. It really bothered her that I had been doing it.

We discussed it that first night. She surprised me again by telling me to jerk off while she watched. Given her dislike of the practice, I was confused and said so. She replied that she wanted to see my technique. She figured that if she copied what I did, she would have the most success giving me handjobs. She is a very good student.

In the years that followed, I never jerked off again. I also learned to live with a limited, controlled number of ejaculations. How many and how often are topics of conversation we share. Mrs. Lion is perfectly comfortable asking me how horny I am. Surprisingly, she is happy to tell me that it doesn’t matter. I will ejaculate when she decides to get me off.

All these years later, that doesn’t seem startling or unusual to me. But I wonder how many other men’s orgasms are topics of dinner conversation? Nothing is private about my sex life. It might have bothered me at one point, but now it is just the way things are.