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In: Chastity hardware, Chastity device fitting, Mrs Lion Comments
cherry keeper chastity device headlock
This is the first custom version of the Cherry Keeper. The “shelf” is the headlock. The opening is just slightly larger than the diameter of Lion’s penis shaft. The head has to be worked through this smaller hole. Once inside, the shelf formed by the headlock prevents the head from moving backward. This keeps his urethra nicely centered.

Lion has a theory that the sores on my weenie were caused by the cage. He thinks he may be getting pinched or nicked when it goes on or off. I’m trying to remember if he had sores when we were using the Jail Bird. I think he did. When he got pinched with that, I don’t think it was in the same area. My theory, if the sores are from the newer cage, is that there’s a rough spot on the headlock that doesn’t exist on the newest incarnation even though we’ve been very careful recently. I still need to examine the other cages to see if my theory is correct.

The thing I’ve thought about with each version of the Cherry Keeper, is if the requirement that Lion has to ask me for each new purchase applies only to new, new purchases or if it applies to any purchase. I can see the argument for it being just different variations of the same purchase. I can also see the argument for it being more stuff accumulating on his nightstand and that is clearly a new purchase each time.

my penis in the new custom cage
Lion’s penis in the custom Cherry Keeper. The headlock keeps the head against the top of the cage, nicely centered.(Click image to view larger)

Ultimately I want him to have a good fit. However, I dislike the headlock idea. Maybe I just dislike the last two or three versions with the extreme headlock. I know my weenie is pliable but jamming the head into a small hole is just asking for more sores. And whomping his butt is one thing, jamming my weenie into anything is not something I want to be a part of. If he wants to continue wearing the Cherry Keeper with the narrow headlock then maybe he needs to deal with the cage by himself. How many times has Lion said that if you need lube to make the cage comfortable, it’s the wrong size? I know that was in relation to the actual wearing of the cage, but to me it’s the same thing.

[Lion — I don’t think a little lube on the head of my penis to make it easier to fit through the headlock is the same thing. The headlock has been very successful keeping my urethra centered in the opening provided for it. I’ve been able to pee standing up with no mess or spray. I’m hoping Mrs. Lion will let me continue using this feature.]

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Sex is a major factor in enforced male chastity. It strikes me as ironic that a kink dedicated to preventing sexual pleasure is actually part of the larger practice that includes improving sexual enjoyment. Fantasies notwithstanding, wearing a chastity device invariably focuses its wearer on sex.

That’s not surprising. Being locked in a chastity device is a very strong form of sexual attention. Before I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up, she paid very little attention to my penis. It got to the point that I would get desperate for some fun and would “scooch” over to her in bed which she correctly interpreted as a request for sexual contact. Admittedly, our situation was a bit extreme. Over time, we drifted apart sexually. We remained very close in all other respects, but we were drifting apart sexually.

When Mrs. Lion agreed to lock me in a chastity device, she accepted the responsibility of deciding when I get sexual release as well as being teased. She agreed she would unlock me at least once every other day and stimulate me. She didn’t promise that I would have an orgasm each time, but she did agree she would play with my penis.

She has faithfully followed through. Managing my sexual activities has become a routine part of her life. I’ve learned that she has full ownership and control of my penis. All of the sexual tension that was giving us trouble when we began has evaporated.

I realize that our story is probably unusual. However, the practice of enforced male chastity is often misunderstood by people when they first learn about it. Of course, everybody puts their own spin on what they want to do with the practice. Initially, Mrs. Lion decided she would unlock me every day and give me an orgasm. I just couldn’t keep up with that schedule.

Like many other guys, I wondered about being kept from ejaculating for relatively long periods of time. I admit that I got that idea by reading fantasies on the Web. They tend to talk about long periods of deprivation. Mrs. Lion would have none of that. Even though we had gone through a long stretch of almost sex free marriage, it turns out that she enjoys making me ejaculate.

I didn’t have any kind of investment in the idea of long waits. I just thought that’s the way enforced male chastity works. We settled into a rhythm. Even though Mrs. Lion doesn’t track the wait between my orgasms, she manages to space them between four and 10 days apart. After nearly 6 years, she still unlocks me nearly every night and teases me to the edge of orgasm several times before locking me up again.

My point is that even though wearing a chastity device can be a tool to forcibly prevent sexual activity, I suspect it is more often a way to involve a partner at the most intimate level. Another way to look at it I think, is to consider it bondage. In BDSM, bondage is used as a way to establish dominance by physically making the submissive partner defenseless. I like that idea. For example, if Mrs. Lion attaches me to the bed, I can’t escape anything she wants to do to me. I like that idea a lot even though I may experience some “discomfort”.

Having my hands and feet restrained sends an unmistakable message to me that I have no control over what happens to me next. Obviously, I do. We have a safe word. But in the context of our scene, I am completely at her mercy. Wearing a chastity device is exactly the same. In this case, my penis is inaccessible to me. No matter how much I want to, I can’t stimulate it and give myself an orgasm. Again, in reality I probably could pull out; but I won’t. I like the feeling of helplessness.

After years of wearing a chastity device, I’ve been effectively conditioned to avoid sexually stimulating myself by playing with my penis. Even if I’m wild (not wearing the device), it never occurs to me that I can give myself an orgasm. I know I can, but something stops me. It doesn’t even feel interesting. Wearing the device with Mrs. Lion having the only key has trained me.

I think this is the common denominator in enforced male chastity. I suspect that many couples don’t realize that this is happening. Sex is a very powerful force. So is conditioning. The combination of the two can do a lot. I know that some couples like to tie orgasms for the dominant female to opportunities for the male to ejaculate. An arbitrary number of female orgasms is set that must be provided in order for the submissive male to “earn” a chance to ejaculate.

This is a very common chastity fantasy. The idea is that sex has to be earned. The chastity device guarantees there will be no masturbatory cheating. I have to admit I think this is a really hot idea. It’s not the way we do it. Our situation is rather unique. Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in sex for herself. She also has made it clear that she doesn’t want to associate my sexual release with any obedience-related activities. She likes making my orgasms something she provides on a whim. She reasons that it’s her penis, she can make it ejaculate whenever she wants. I get no input. If she has me jump over hurdles to earn an orgasm, then I do have input.

I like the idea of being obedient to her. She steadfastly refuses to tie this obedience to sex. I understand and agree. Instead, she enforces my obedience by punishing me when I fail to do what she wants. I find that very hot as well.

My point is that we have discussed (here in the blog, email, and in person) how she wants to play. I am aware of the role I must play. We have agreed that I am under enforced male chastity, device or no device, for the rest of my life. Mrs. Lion agrees she will give me sexual attention at least every other day. She does not promise I will get an orgasm after any specific amount of time. She doesn’t tie when I get to come with any disciplinary issues. In fact, there have been many occasions I get an orgasm within an hour of a painful spanking. Sex and discipline are not related in our house.

It pays to take the time to work out exactly how male chastity works for you. Obviously, your keyholder will make the final decision. It’s important you both understand exactly what you’re doing.

 

By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Spanking

As far as I can remember I’ve never had a sex injury. I guess, if you stretch it a lot, childbirth could be considered a sex injury. Although, if you stretch it a lot, you probably would be limber enough not to get a sex injury. (Sorry. I’ve been listening to an audio book by George Carlin. He tweaks my warped mind.)

This idea came about the other day as I was edging Lion. The muscle on top of my forearm started to ache. Don’t ask me which muscle. Thankfully my anatomy training ended at major muscles. I realized that this muscle has been sore for a long time. Not constantly, of course. It just hurts when I move a certain way. And I’ve been wondering what I did to it. Asked and answered. Sex injury.

I’m left wondering what I can do to strengthen this muscle. First, I guess, I’d have to figure out which muscle it is and then I can look for exercises. Lion, of course, will say I can continue to give him hand jobs. That exercise helps with grip and arm strength. What a guy! Sacrificing his body like that so I can exercise.

In addition to strengthening my forearm and grip, Lion would be willing to assist me with neck strengthening exercises. He says my weenie is available at all times. At the moment, however, it’s locked away for safe keeping. But he knows who has the key.

It’s also possible that my arm is sore from spanking. I still consider this a sex injury even though it didn’t directly come from sex, but perhaps it should be a different class of injury altogether. Punishment swats are decidedly not sex. But then we get into the hazy area of home offices. How much of your computer’s depreciation can you deduct if you play solitaire five hours a week? How much of my forearm injury was caused by hand jobs and how much was caused by spanking? What if it’s from spanking but hand jobs exacerbate the situation?

Damn. Maybe it’s not really a sex injury after all.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Do you remember the TV show “Mash”? Hawkeye made a big thing about his subscriptions to nudist magazines. It was sort of a running joke about the innocent porn of the 50’s. There were a lot of nude volleyball jokes. I’ve never visited a nudist colony. Of course I’ve heard of them and people who have participated told me a bit about their adventures.

The theme of nudists or naturists is that man’s natural state is to be naked and by eliminating clothing, people can be at their best. This whole concept of “natural state” interests me. The picture on the right is a classic 1970s nudist volleyball game. I suppose it’s what Hawkeye found so erotic.

What I find particularly interesting is that all the people, men and women alike, have all their body hair. “Natural” implied not modifying anything on the body. Apparently, tattoos and circumcision were allowable exceptions. I understand that any sexual expressions were strongly frowned upon. Nary an erection showed itself on a nude beach or nudist colony in those days.

The idea was that sexual arousal somehow perverted this natural state. It seems to me that none of those people would be there unless somebody got sexually aroused at one point or another. I get it. In the United States and many parts of Western Europe, the Protestant ethic dictated that sexual expression be private between married men and women. An erection in a nudist colony would be a serious breach of good manners.

You may wonder why I’m writing about this. The other day, one of the people I follow on Twitter retweeted a couple of images from a nudist. Aside from the improved photographic quality, there’s a startling difference: All of the people removed their body hair. There wasn’t a pubic hair in the bunch (see image, left). What would their nudist parents think? I’m pretty sure that even in the last century it was acceptable for women to remove most body hair. Even in those “natural” times, hairy pits were never considered very feminine, at least in the United States.

As you can see, modern nudists both male and female prefer hairless skin everywhere. I went to the search engines and did some research. The vast majority of nudist pictures feature people who were hairless. Age, race, and location didn’t seem to matter.

Another even more startling discovery was that a reasonably large number of the images showed men sporting erect penises. Many showed women stimulating them (see image right). I have no idea if erections are welcome everywhere, but I certainly hope so.

My point is that what’s considered natural has less to do with the way we develop then it does with current fashion. Since I don’t have body hair (my pubic hair has been gone since the 1980s), it’s nice to see the world is catching up to me. I wonder if it will ever be considered natural for a nudist to be wearing a male chastity device?

I realize that may be too extreme. However, perhaps it’s not entirely weird. I wonder if there are nudist resorts for people into BDSM? Mrs. Lion and I have attended DSM events where over a thousand people attended and nudity was permitted and displayed almost everywhere. At those events you see occasional chastity devices locked onto some men. Even at those events, these sightings are rare.

Maybe the pendulum is swinging toward more acceptance of sexually-related activities. I don’t think a chastity device at a nudist colony in and of itself would be the most startling and potentially offensive issue. The chastity device is an unmistakable symbol that the male is submitting to someone, most likely his partner. It sends a complex message of social order as well as sexual kink.

Almost everyone who is in a relationship that features enforced male chastity or FLRD (Female Led Relationship with Discipline) speculates what it would be like if people they know were aware of these practices. Most of us, I think, would like the opportunity to be part of the community where we could openly practice.

The reason I decided to use nudists to talk about this is that it’s one of the few “public” venues where such things as pubic hair and chastity devices would be appropriate for general consumption. Of course most of us may be kinky in terms of our power exchanges and unwilling to become nudists.

A nudist colony is a place where people with similar interests can gather. In this case it’s people who believe nudity promotes a healthy life. Wouldn’t it be interesting if we had organizations or resorts for people who practice female-dominant power exchanges? Obviously, the common interest is the power exchange, not how it’s practiced.

Still, it would feel very good to be able to openly display our power relationships and learn from one another. Nudity wouldn’t be required, or even encouraged. It’s not what we are about. Some of us, however, might find it fun. The point is that it’s very unlikely any of our relatives or neighbors would understand and accept what we do. As this blog and many others demonstrate, there are a lot of people who would happily accept us as friends who share common interests. We just haven’t evolved sufficiently to leave the Internet and build real life kinky friendships.

The radical changes in the nudist world suggest that my hope could come true in my lifetime. In the meantime, we can share this way. I’m certainly happy you like to read our posts.