Over the last seven years, I have learned to cherish the orgasms I’m allowed to experience. For almost my entire post-pubescent life I’ve had at least one a day. A very large percentage of those daily orgasms were with partners. When one wasn’t available, I masturbated. I thought that this was the way to remain sexually active; you know, use it or lose it.

When Mrs. Lion lost interest in sex I tried to keep the home fires burning by masturbating at least three times a week. I wasn’t really enjoying it but felt it was important to keep the equipment in good shape. I missed sex with my lioness terribly. Then I got the bright idea of enforced male chastity. I reasoned that even if my opportunities to ejaculate were limited by wearing a male chastity device, the role of keyholder would remind Mrs. Lion to pay some sexual attention to me. Sneaky lion.

It worked. We both got into orgasm denial. At first, Mrs. Lion would unlock me every night and jerk me off. I discovered that this frequency was too much for me. Maybe the years of two-to-three-times-a-week had recalibrated me. Perhaps I was wanting to experience the frustration of having to wait. After all, that was what I expected when I asked to be locked up. Mrs. Lion was agreeable when I asked her to make me wait more than one day.

She edged me every day or two. She jerked me off a couple of times a week. Over the first three years, I rarely went more than four days between ejaculations. Then I needed shoulder surgery. I wasn’t interested in sex for over 20 days. When I felt better, my twice-a-week orgasms resumed.

Meanwhile, I changed in an unexpected (for me, at least) way. I lost interest in masturbating. On the night Mrs. Lion agreed to lock me up, I told her I had been jerking off. She was surprised. She had no idea I masturbated. I was surprised when she told me that she didn’t ever want me to do that again. Really? Every guy jerks off. No matter. She hates the idea of me getting myself off. That same night she had me jerk off while she watched. That was the last time for me.

I still don’t understand her dislike of letting me masturbate. In prior relationships when my partner was tired or not in the mood for sex, she might have me masturbate while she “helped,” usually by tickling my balls. A lot of women find watching men masturbate a fun spectator sport, not Mrs. Lion.

Because I was locked in a chastity device except when she was teasing me, I couldn’t masturbate if I wanted to. After over three years of nearly-continuous lockup, I lost interest in jerking off. I haven’t even thought about getting myself off in years. Mrs. Lion is my only sexual outlet.

In the last six months or so I ejaculate about every two weeks. I don’t think Mrs. Lion decided to extend my waits. It is harder for her to get me to the edge for about ten days after an orgasm. We both thought it was just a normal change in my sexual cycle. It might be. It may just be that it takes more stimulation (longer time) to get me to the edge. I start losing confidence that I can come and lose my erection. When Mrs. Lion persists, she can almost always get me there if she wants.

Since she stops before I get close to orgasm, when I finally get to that point after 10 – 14 days, I’m in no rush to ejaculate. I like the extreme excitement I feel when she brings me to the brink. That’s why I asked her to start the clock when she gets me that far, not before. This can push my waits to well over 20 days. She doesn’t like this very much.

Another more-tiring-for-Mrs.-Lion approach could be to try to reverse the trend and get me to the edge as soon after I ejaculate as she can. Maybe even give me orgasms as often as she can produce them. I’m certain not to love this technique very much, but maybe it can reverse the trend to longer waits that she doesn’t like.

I would guess that in the beginning, she will not get me too far for the first week or so. Over time this is bound to change. If you think that this is just a sneaky way to get more orgasms, you are wrong. The current pace is just fine with me. It’s comfortable and fun. At least, in the beginning, much more frequent ejaculation won’t be nearly as much fun for me. Eventually, I will get used to the new, more frequent pace and enjoy it. Then Mrs. Lion can make me wait 20 days again. Mean lioness!

We had a busy Sunday. We took the dog for a bath and groom. She looks great and will probably not make me as allergic. Then we played Spankball while we watched the NY Giants game. Once again, Mrs. Lion decided that she would deliver all of the swats earned after the game. The Giants won by a single point. I earned 70 swats (2 per point scored and 1 for each turnover against the Giants). Did I mention that Mrs. Lion is a very effective spanker?

The Hanson Ferrule paddle in bloodwood. Ouch!
The Hanson Ferrule paddle. This bloodwood model is one of the most effective spankers she owns.

It was fun watching the game; not so much fun getting the swats. While I watch them play, I love it when our team scores but also get a little twinge because each touchdown/extra point is 14 more swats. I know, I know, poor baby. Mrs. Lion used the very mean ferrule paddle. It’s made from dense, heavy bloodwood. It has a very small striking face and a long handle. The combination guarantees maximum pain.

Sunday was a week since my last orgasm. I’ve had a few sexual thoughts, but in general, I am not at my most cheerful. I’m writing this early Sunday evening. Mrs. Lion wrote that she plans to try some oral attention tonight. I think I will enjoy it. I’ve never not enjoyed Mrs. Lion’s mouth.

In the days when we had vaginal sex, I posited that I liked oral sex better than vaginal. Maybe because it’s been more than 2-1/2 years since my last chance to fuck, I am looking back at it nostalgically, believing that felt better. It’s just a matter of wanting what I don’t have. I absolutely love it when Mrs. Lion sucks me. I’m even fine that she only lets me ejaculate infrequently.

It could be that today’s Spankball reset some internal circuit breaker. Maybe I need a painful butt whomping to feel better. I wonder if Mrs. Lion believes that. If she does, I wonder why I haven’t seen the business end of her paddle sooner. I suspect that she isn’t sure enough to demand I present my butt to her for attention regardless of how I say I’m feeling.

Based on how I feel now, a command game of Spankardy or Spankball might be an easy way to help. The trick isn’t to ask me if I want to play. Just tell me. I like that even in bad times.

As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday, I got some potentially good news. Even though my company had announced layoffs, apparently I’m not in the current group. The email I received went on to say that I’m still on furlough, however. The only difference between being on furlough and being laid off is that the company is still paying for most of my benefits. In my case, that’s not such a big deal since I have my own medical insurance. Still, it feels good to know they haven’t decided to abandon me yet.

Also, Mrs. Lion wrote that the sore on my penis is not fully healed yet. As far as she is concerned, that means no sexual activity. That’s not as bad as it sounds. She hadn’t gone near me sexually in well over a week. Today is the 21st day since my last orgasm. Between the long wait and lack of attention, I’m not overly interested in sex right now. Actually, there is no pain at this point. The area is still a little hard to the touch. I imagine I am in the last phase of healing. I was looking forward to a blow job for my birthday. Oh well. [Mrs. Lion — I assume no sexual activity because, if it’s sore, I can’t touch it. And I haven’t gone near him sexually because of the sore. If it’s not sore then I have no problem giving him a blow job.]

I do feel a little grumpier than usual. Lack of sexual activity definitely does not improve my disposition. Whether or not I am actively looking for sex, at some deeper level I really need it. Maybe it isn’t a very deep level, after all. I’m not prepared to turn away any opportunities my lioness might present. Did I say before that it doesn’t hurt anymore? [Mrs. Lion — I hear you.]

Mrs. Lion pointed out that I got her my favorite cake when it was her birthday. She said I should get hers since it’s my birthday. She was half kidding. It does make sense. We will be making the trip to our favorite bakery to buy a black forest cake for her, oops, for me. She got my fave, a rum cake for her birthday. Fair enough.

In terms of chastity device wearing, we are in a holding pattern until the new, longer shaft section for my Evotion Orion arrives. I miss wearing it.

Apparently, one of the newer male chastity developments is the Internet controlled male chastity device. One such device, made in China, called the Cellmate, allows someone to lock and unlock the device via cell phone. It has a major problem: the software is easily hacked and someone wearing the device can be trapped in it with no way to get unlocked. The folks at the “Plains Chastity” blog drew our attention to it. This device is made of thick, stainless steel. It would take some serious power tools to cut it off if a hacker permanently locks it. I think a male chastity device is something that doesn’t need to be internet connected. This is one device I don’t want to review.

At this moment my mind is not on male chastity; it’s on a birthday orgasm which this year will be late in coming (See where I went there?). [Mrs. Lion– All right already! I hear you! Good thing you’re so cute. 😉 ]

Feminism notwithstanding, men and women are very different when it comes to sex. It’s this difference that makes it so difficult for a lot of women to understand male chastity. Of course, it’s impossible for me to know how women feel about sex since I’m male. So I’ll start with something I know very well.

We males think about sex a lot. We’re programmed that way. Male mammals are always ready to have sex. In most of the animal kingdom, all they need to do is sniff a female in heat, and off they go. Human males retain that evolutionary imperative. Sex is never very far from the top of our minds and other places. Most of us learned to masturbate before we reached high school. I learned when I was 11. Once I discovered how good it feels to ejaculate, I was hooked. From then on, getting off was something I did several times a week.

If a female was available and willing, I had the additional pleasure of sex with a partner. That’s the best! If one wasn’t available, I always had my hand. Even after I was married, I filled in between times I had sex with my wife by masturbating. I don’t think more than two or three days ever passed without ejaculation.

I believe women are different. It’s not that they don’t like sex is much as we do. Apparently, it is just not as important to them. The net result of this is that masturbation is far less interesting to most women than it is to men. I don’t like this generalization because I know several women who love to masturbate and do so far more often than I ever did. That’s not the point. I think the female attitude towards orgasm is fundamentally different than the male’s. I think that we are far more goal-oriented. We want to ejaculate as soon as we can. That’s why many men find it hard to understand why women want so much foreplay.

The point is that the male focus is on finishing. We are programmed to ejaculate. That’s how we contribute to reproduction. A female doesn’t need to have an orgasm to get pregnant. All she has to do is feel receptive to a male and allow him to finish inside her. The female orgasm is gravy. Of course, I’m speaking from the strictly reproductive point of view.

This difference in approach is programmed into us. Free will allows us to improvise and improve our sexual experiences. Modern women want and expect orgasms as a normal part of sex. It may not be necessary for reproduction, but it certainly is an important contributor to her happiness and to the success of her relationship with her mate.

male chastity exploits the difference between men and women

Keeping all of this in mind, when a man decides he’d like to play with male chastity (orgasm control), he is talking about surrendering his ability to arbitrarily decide when he will ejaculate. Since almost all of us, males that is, expect to ejaculate at will, this is a big deal. I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me, the idea of having to wait to ejaculate until Mrs. Lion decides it’s time, is very hot. This is the essence of male chastity.

She had no idea why this made any sense. She never felt the several-times-a-week urgency to orgasm the way I did. [Mrs. Lion — Never?] But if I thought it would be fun to turn over control to her she was agreeable. Locking me in a chastity device was an amusing indulgence for me. It’s true that I probably would have resisted the urge to masturbate if I wasn’t wearing a chastity device. But in the beginning, I might have jerked off in a moment of weakness. After all, it was a habit decades-old.

Wearing a chastity device made it virtually impossible for me to jerk off. Sure, I could have pulled out of the device and masturbated. But that would have been considerably more, shall we say, intentional than casually reaching down and playing with my penis. The chastity device for me was the same as Nicorette gum is for a smoker. The smoker can still have a cigarette, but the gum takes away some of the desire. The chastity device made access to my penis considerably more difficult. It deterred me.

Most people play with chastity over relatively short periods of time. The device may stay on for a weekend, a week, or even longer. It will come off and sex will resume as usual. This includes casual masturbation. That’s not what we did. Once we found a chastity device I could wear long term with comfort, I remained in it full time except for when Mrs. Lion would tease me or, if I was lucky, jerk me off. It was just too difficult for me to masturbate.

That’s a good thing. Mrs. Lion absolutely hates the idea of me masturbating. Before I asked her to lock me up, I had no idea she had strong feelings on the subject. I was a little embarrassed to admit that I did it. But I didn’t expect such a strong reaction. She told me that she had no idea that I jerked off. She let me know that she hated the idea. In that respect, she liked the idea of locking my penis in a chastity device. However, I don’t think she felt that I needed it once she told me she wanted me to stop masturbating.

self-control isn’t enough

She had a lot more faith in me than I had in myself. I thought that if I got very horny and I wasn’t locked up, I probably would have cheated now and then. As it was, I couldn’t cheat. I stayed locked up this way for over three years. The device had to come off for a few months when I got shoulder surgery. Between the pain of recovery, and the fact that I had broken the masturbation habit, I was in no danger of getting myself off. Now that we’ve been doing this seven years, it doesn’t matter if I’m locked up or not. I’ve completely forgotten how to get myself off. That may sound strange, but it’s true. I just don’t want to masturbate anymore. I’ve been trained.

the last time i jerked off was 7 years ago

In fact, since December 2013 I haven’t had an orgasm that wasn’t produced for me by Mrs. Lion. She has never allowed me to masturbate even under her supervision. She is the only source of my sexual pleasure. That is how it should be. While she doesn’t consider it as serious as having sex with another woman, getting myself off is cheating as far as she is concerned. Since she is in charge of when I get sexual release, I’ve learned to accept teasing as long as she would like to do it and I wait for ejaculation until she thinks I should get off.

She has accepted my suggestions. Maybe she accepts too many. I can ask her for an orgasm and she will quite often agree to give me one. I think that’s changing now. She is less interested in my input. I know that a lot of guys would find that disturbing to think about. I believe a lot more would find it fun. This is all possible without the hardware. I think it’s more fun for me if I’m locked into a chastity device. I recognize that nothing changes if I’m allowed to be wild.

Practicing male chastity requires a fundamental change in the sexual dynamic. With most couples, the male initiates sex. Sometimes, perhaps often, the female rejects the advances, but he makes them. It’s rare that she starts things. I know Mrs. Lion would have preferred me to be the initiator. I was never good at it. I think it all comes down to a very deep-seated fear of rejection. At least that’s how it feels to me.

With male chastity, I can’t initiate. I’m physically unable to have sex without Mrs. Lion taking action. I suppose she could train me to ask for sex. If she did that, I couldn’t even have a possibility of ejaculation unless I asked. The thing is, I would hear an awful lot of no’s. She doesn’t like to say no. I certainly don’t like to hear it. It’s not so bad if she teases me and I am panting to ejaculate when she says, “Not tonight.” That’s part of the game. I suppose being trained to ask could also be part of the game if she wanted.

Even now, after all these years, I am still a little amazed that I am turned on thinking about being prevented from getting what I want. It may be that by feeling aroused when my mate says, “No,” to ejaculation, I am being set up to be obedient to my mate. The same thing is true of spanking. Mrs. Lion punishes me with disciplinary spankings. They are painful and I don’t like them a bit. Yet, I get aroused thinking about her spanking me.

It’s that arousal I feel thinking about things that aren’t pleasant, that drives me to accept them. I get turned on thinking about Mrs. Lion denying me orgasms. It may be 20 days since the last time she let me have one and I am desperate, but I still get turned on thinking that she is going to say no and make me wait longer. Perverse, huh? Since I like bondage, wearing a chastity device has the double turn-on of being restrained and being prevented from ejaculating. A true double whammy!

When I think about it, at least for us, male chastity has brought us closer. Sex, or the lack of it, isn’t an emotional barrier or weapon in our family. It’s something that’s under the conscious control of my mate. It’s that simple. It’s fun for me, and I hope for her as well. Sure, I get to ejaculate a lot less often than I did before we started. I’m much happier.