I like happy endings–both kinds. I’m a sucker for romcoms. What can I say? It’s just the way I’m wired. You might wonder what I consider a non-movie happy ending. Obviously, an orgasm is one kind. Another is a teasing session that ends in edging. Sometimes I prefer the orgasm variety. Often, edging is more fun. I like activity; sexual activity.

If you are a new reader, you may think that sounds very selfish of me. I didn’t mention happy endings for my lioness. She isn’t interested in them. That’s too bad because I love giving them to her. Back in the day, we had a lot of fun. I miss those times. Maybe that’s why sex isn’t as easy to get excited about. I love it when Mrs. Lion arouses me. I always start off feeling guilty that I’m being selfish.

Sex is like eating. If you aren’t hungry, it isn’t much fun. Eating to stay alive isn’t the same as savoring new dishes. After enough time with no sex goes by, I get hungry. I suppose that is when I would jerk off. I can’t do that. So I get frustrated and then lose interest. It’s usually pretty easy to get me interested again once Mrs. Lion gets my attention. That isn’t always easy.

More often than not, thinking about sex makes me sad. It’s like looking into the window of a good restaurant without having enough money to eat there. I don’t want to be unfair in the way I’m talking about this. I think Mrs. Lion assumes that because I’m the one who wants sex, I’m going to be responsive right away. She doesn’t seem to understand why I don’t want to ask her to do something for me.

It’s hard enough to accept when she initiates. I know that there is nothing in it for her. I’m not selfish by nature. If she could find a way to enjoy doing BDSM or sexual things to me, I would feel a lot better. Even pretending to have a good time would work. I absolutely hate to be a chore. That’s why more often than not if Mrs. Lion asks if I want to play, I say no.

We aren’t up to much. Mrs. Lion is still under the weather. I’m not allowed do-it-yourself sex. That pretty much leaves us with TV and conversation. I’m not complaining. It’s wonderful that we can be together all of the time. I am getting pretty horny. I’m sure that Mrs. Lion will help either make the problem worse or get me off after she is feeling better. The important thing now is that she get rest and feel better.

I’ve received a toy to review. It’s a fancy male masturbator. It’s made by the same company that made the masturbator I reviewed a while ago. That device was a vibrating, vacuum masturbator. It was very interesting. You can find the review here. The new one is quite different. I look forward to taking it through its paces.

The other day, I wrote about an inexpensive training collar that could be easily adapted for wear around the cock and balls. The post drew some interest. I want to emphasize an important point. This is the first training collar I’ve found that can be adapted with just a pair of scissors and a match. I’ve tried quite a few others. Most couldn’t be adapted, and a few could be with some sewing–adding Velcro to a cut strap. The one in my post (“An Easy-To-Set-Up, Low-Cost Training Collar“), is the first one I’ve found that both works well and is easily fitted. I’ve been wearing it all day, every day, for a while now. It is effective, I promise.

I understand that making the leap into any of the stuff we talk about here is difficult. and can feel like a waste of time if the experiment fails. The post about the inexpensive (less than $40 USD) is my first effort to provide entry-level help. I’ll keep looking for ways to help in other areas too.

We are having a quiet Labor Day weekend. Well, it’s no different than any other weekend. The dog makes sure we don’t sleep late. Mrs. Lion plays on her computer and does some chores, and I write. One of our most vexing tasks is managing our farm. Our tomato plants are producing lots of cherry tomatoes, but they taste bland. The strawberry plants are making some fruit that is either bitter or tasteless. Our lettuce is nice.

We’ve been using Aerogarden plant food. It’s supposed to be great for all veggies. It isn’t. For example, the strawberry plants are healthy-looking with great leaves and flowers. The fruit is yuck. The same is true for the tomatoes, great plants, bad fruit.

I’ve done some research and found specific instructions for strawberries. I’ve ordered the food, and we will try changing their diet. I also got a Ph meter. Strawberries need a ph between 5.8 and 6.0. This is familiar territory for me. I used to have aquariums. Ph and nutrients were very important there.

On the sex side of the house, things aren’t good. I’m still broken. Mrs. Lion is working hard to help. I suspect that the problem is that I’m intensely involved in writing. I can’t figure out why, but it gets in my way sexually. Nothing a good blow job can’t cure. (grin)

Meanwhile, I’m keeping very busy with writing and farming. I like both activities a lot. I’ve learned a few things about growing hydroponic veggies. For one, don’t believe the hype. It’s fun and works but isn’t cheap and takes effort. The best home units are from Aerogarden. I’ve tried two much cheaper Chinese versions from Amazon. They don’t work well at all. Aerogardens are worth the money. Their customer service is great. Their plant food is meh. It’s good to get you started, but our results have been horrible with the fruit.

We’ve been going back and forth about BDSM lately. In her latest post, “Do You Understand?” Mrs. Lion said that it was my fault because I don’t tell her what I want. For example, instead of complaining we don’t use our restraints, I should ask her to use them on me. It sounds like she wants a script of what specific activities I want.

That doesn’t sound like much fun to me. It feels, well, commercial. I’ve been trying to suggest activities indirectly. What does it mean if I say, “We haven’t used our restraints lately,” or “The shock collar is on my desk charging, ” or “we haven’t done anal play in a long time.”

Are those just complaints? Maybe they are hints. I’m trying to signal what might be fun for me. I figured that I’ve been pretty transparent. No one ever accused me of being subtle. My idea is that if I just suggest things that have been neglected, I’m gently reminding my lioness without putting pressure on her to do it now.

I guess that doesn’t work.

We managed to figure out how to handle spanking. We even made it useful. Do we need to create a concrete plan for bondage, butt play, etc. That could be challenging. Actually, we had a way to manage it. Remember the Box O’Fun? When Mrs. Lion used it without consulting me about my mood, we were both having a good time. Maybe using it every day was too much. How about a game to decide if it gets used on a specific night? Flip a coin? I’m sure that my lioness can come up with something.

She brought up one other point: the pause button. For some reason, she seems to believe that I am the only one who can use it. If she wants to make things more than casual, can’t she pause the TV?

There is a much more significant issue under all this. If sex and BDSM are just for me because doing them for me is a chore, then I guess I should be calling the shots. If it’s something she does for me, maybe it makes sense to recognize how important it is for me not to control the action.

Yes, I know that I suggest most of what we do. That’s not topping from the bottom. It’s lion education. Making me decide when and where ro do it, takes a lot of the fun out of it for me.