My Rewards
Mrs. Lion and I have gone back and forth about rewards. She favors Good Lion Coupons. These coupons entitle me to redeem them for a specific treat. Her early efforts yielded coupons that I could trade for orgasms. I never redeemed them. I felt it violated the basic power exchange if I could come anytime I redeemed a coupon. True, I only had a few of those, but still it bothers me. After we got back from our trip, Mrs. Lion presented me with new coupons. This time there is no opportunity to redeem one for an orgasm when I choose. These coupons preserve her power.
One type is for restrained play of my choice. She knows I like to be tied down either on the bed or in the sling. This is, of course, extra work for her. So her coupon allows me to add bondage to a play session. She has to say that there will be a play session. Then I can redeem my coupon. The other coupon does relate to orgasms. I now have a coupon that I can redeem for the orgasm of my choice on my scheduled date. Since I don’t know when that is, I imagine I need to redeem it in advance and then when she decides it is time for me to come, she will do it the way I chose. I already know what I want when the time comes, but will wait before presenting the coupon.
These coupons add interest to our FLM as well as enforced chastity. Some people think that FLM means punishment for failing to obey or do what was ordered. It’s true. That is part of it. But what about rewards? Rewards are a great way to reinforce desired behaviors, but many female led marriages don’t have any real provision for them. Not getting punished is not a reward. For a reward to be useful, the person getting it needs to know what he did to earn the reward (reinforcement!) and what the reward is. In FLM where any good stuff could be considered a reward, Mrs. Lion’s coupons offer a very substantial behavioral reinforcement by providing a tangible item that both says what I did to deserve the goody and what that goody is. I got my orgasm-of-my-choice coupon for cooking all the time. Nice! The restrained play coupons (there are two of them) were issued for two reasons: One was for going on the trip to visit her daughter. The other is for doing so much around the house.
Since all three coupons are for things I want, you can be sure I will try to earn more. Does it mean that the only way I can have restrained play is by redeeming a coupon? I don’t think so. Mrs. Lion will tie me up when she wants. But my coupon gets me tied up when I want. Big difference. I think she has hit on a great way to recognize good behavior. I’m going to work hard to earn more coupons.
Strike While the Lion is Horny
Yesterday I drove all four hours home. Lion offered to drive, but I was doing fine so I kept going. On some of the longer trips he drives about halfway because, let’s face it, highway driving can be a big snore. Later in the afternoon Lion took a cat nap. I watched him sleep. He looks so cute when he’s softly snoring away. A little later it was my turn for a nap. And, of course, he had his Jeopardy nap.
I finally sat down and wrote out some Good Lion coupons. One was for deleting one punishment from his list. I knew he needed that coupon last night because it was 8:30 when I handed it to him and he hadn’t reminded me that last night was punishment night. Yeah. I probably cheated with that one, but I did give him one for his choice of orgasm on his scheduled night. And he got two for restrained play of his choice. He liked them all and immediately redeemed the punishment one. He had forgotten what day of the week it was and didn’t remember until I’d pointed it out to him. Oopsy.
When I asked for the Lion weather report he said he was pretty horny. What a pleasant surprise! I like having a horny Lion. I was able to successfully edge him a few times. Then I decided, since he was horny, he should have a real orgasm. Not the ruined orgasms that I’ve been giving him by accident. A full orgasm. I probably should have teased him a little more, but I didn’t want to risk going too far before I was ready to go all the way. I’m pretty sure it was a surprise to him. It wasn’t his scheduled night, but I figured with everything that’s been going on, I had to strike while the Lion was horny. And he doesn’t know when his scheduled night is anyway.
The wild Lion has been successfully captured and re-caged. Maybe tonight I will unlock him again and tend to his manscaping. It’s been quite a while since I’ve done it. He’s pretty unkempt. He doesn’t like it that way. I tease him that I will have to get out the hedge clippers. I think it’s ironic that he likes me hairy and himself bare. Many men prefer their wives/girlfriends bare and wouldn’t dream of manscaping. I don’t mind if Lion is hairy or bare. I’m just glad he doesn’t expect me to go through all the trouble of making myself bare for him.
Opening Pandora’s Box
We’re home again. The return trip was uneventful. Mrs. Lion had two full days to visit with her daughter. The last time they were together was over two years ago. That time, Mrs. Lion drove seven hours just to have dinner with her. The combination of transcontinental travel and scarce cash makes these visits infrequent. I haven’t seen my daughter in over three years. It’s unlikely we can afford to visit for some time. We are very lucky that we have each other. Going to sleep each night next to Mrs. Lion is one of my greatest joys.
There’s something about enforced chastity and FLM that can cause endless trouble. I’ll get to what that is in a bit. I got thinking about this subject when I was looking at our blog visitor stats. At least twice each day someone spends more than eight hours on this site and reads between 100 and 200 articles. We aren’t all that interesting, but the subject matter is. People who are interested in these subjects start with hot fantasies and in most cases continue by reading everything they can find that they believe shows them their fantasies occurring in real life. There are plenty of sites that feature these fantasies and present them as fact.
In a minority of cases the conditions are right and the fantasies become reality. Granted, real life is very unlikely to be just like those hot fantasies, but it is very exciting. Here’s where the potential for trouble comes in. After a while, FLM and enforced chastity become a regular part of life. That, I think, is a very good thing. But most people, guys especially, have lots of fantasies about many subjects. Sooner or later he will start to wonder if enforced chastity works in real life, why not these other fantasies as well. They range from cuckoldry to homosexual activities; from bondage to branding. You get the idea.
Of course there is nothing wrong about the fantasies or the practices themselves. But there is a decent chance that bringing them to life will also carry some serious side effects. Think back to how difficult it was to establish a working FLM/enforced chastity relationship. Now, consider the additional emotional and time cost of adding a new one. In fairness, there are lots of fantasies that you can easily and safely bring to life. One of mine is spanking and discipline. As lifestyle changes go, these two don’t require much change from Mrs. Lion. So trying them out is pretty safe. But there are high risk fantasies that can torpedo a marriage. They are the ones that involve adding new sex partners of either sex. Most of us have emotional reactions we don’t expect when new sexual partners are added. Sometimes it works out perfectly. More often it causes problems.
The big question is whether adding the new kink is worth the risk and emotional cost that might accompany it. I don’t harbor any secret sexual fantasies that involve other partners. I’ve lived most of that in the past. My fantasies are more centered around power exchange and surrender. I’m lucky. I also waited more than a year after we started enforced chastity before I asked my lioness for FLM. That’s my other point: If you do want to live new fantasies, give the old stuff time to settle. Each time you bring a fantasy into reality you risk opening Pandora’s box. Ask yourself if it is worth it?
I’ve Lost My Touch
Lion hasn’t been very horny. We’ve both been tired. Last night we tried to play but Lion wasn’t really into it. He asked if we could try again later. Of course! He’d forgotten to write a post for today so he did that. Then he was ready for more.
This time he got excited. But when I went to edge him I went a bit too far again. Ruined orgasm. Damn! I’m out of practice. Or I’ve lost my touch. The obvious answer is to go back to the every night edging. However, with the state of our finances, nightly edging seems like more added pressure. We’ll just continue on playing it by ear for now. Things will work out eventually. My focus is on Lion. Whatever he needs, I’m here.
Today we’re heading home. I still need to give Lion some Good Lion coupons. Even though this weekend was not as awkward for him as I anticipated, he still deserves a reward for it. I have four hours of driving to figure out a good one.
