I want to believe that Mrs. Lion enjoys controlling my orgasms. My fantasy is that she considers it a special sacrifice I’m making because I love her. I don’t think she thinks that way at all. Like most women, she probably doesn’t spend very much time thinking about sex much less withholding it from me.
It’s entirely too easy for me to get sucked into the fantasy around our enforced male chastity. Let’s face it, as you can see in the picture above, my male chastity device takes up a tiny piece of real estate on my body. It’s that little red thing. I’m pretty sure Mrs. Lion doesn’t spend much if any time thinking about it or looking at it. Even if I’m not wearing it, I doubt she spends any time at all thinking about my penis. I don’t know how often she looks at it, but I’m willing to bet it isn’t very often. In fact, I’m pretty sure she spends a great deal more time looking at my buns.
It’s all about negative space. Withholding orgasms is a negative space. It has no substance and it has no benefit for her. I don’t see how anyone benefits from someone not having sex. I can easily understand that having sex — ejaculating — can be a positive or negative event. Not having sex is at best the normal state of affairs for most people. Here I am sitting at my desk working from home. I’m naked because Mrs. Lion wants me this way. Being naked is not a negative space. It has a positive benefit. She can use a web app to observe me. Staying naked is something I do for her.
Not ejaculating is something totally normal. Wanting to ejaculate is something normal for me as well. Whether or not I ejaculate has no real impact on Mrs. Lion. Even if she was interested in sex, whether or not I have an orgasm while pleasing her is at best whipped cream on the ice cream sundae, or should I say banana split. Similarly, unless she has a specific interest in making me produce semen, how long between ejaculations is a topic of absolutely no interest to her. As she’s written many times, she has no real idea how long it’s been since the last time I produced semen for her.
If she comes home one day with a real hankering for some lion juice, she knows I’ll willingly let her milk me to produce it. In the 17 years we’ve been together I don’t recall that ever happening. My point is that sex for me is the topic of almost no importance to anybody else. That’s not entirely true. Mrs. Lion wants me to be happy. She knows orgasms make me happy. She also knows that it turns me on to be forced to wait between them. She’s learned that for some mysterious reason I like wearing a male chastity device. She knows I want her to keep the keys and use the device as a way to prevent me from masturbating.
Whoops, we’re back in fantasyland. Mrs. Lion knows full well that I won’t masturbate. That was her first rule and one she takes very seriously. Because she does, I won’t break it. So she doesn’t care whether or not I wear a chastity device. She would care if I jerked off without her permission. Actually, I would never get her permission to do that. She is the only one who gets to sexually handle my penis.
Here’s where things get a little sticky. I’m not always happy about being locked into a male chastity device. There are times that it can be inconvenient, even uncomfortable. At those times I seriously want to be wild. Mrs. Lion doesn’t object because she’s letting me wear the device, not making me keep it on. Her reasoning is that if it’s for my pleasure if for any reason I decide I don’t enjoy it, she should unlock me and let me be wild.
That’s logically reasonable. But it’s not what I really want. And this is where the big conflict comes in. I want her to need me to be locked up. That’s my male chastity fantasy. It’s all about her sexual control of me. I’m sure she’s rolling her eyes because she has full sexual control of me without any hardware. So even in the context that I want her to always have sexual control, she still sees no reason why she needs me to be locked into a male chastity device.
In fact, when I have a device on it’s inconvenient for her. She doesn’t like getting the keys and unlocking me and removing it. When we’re done with whatever she wanted to do, putting the device back on and locking me in is more work. It’s not something she enjoys doing. It also has no real-world value. She knows I’m under her sexual control no matter whether I’m wearing the device or not. It’s very hard for her to work up any enthusiasm about keeping me in a male chastity device.
I believe she likes sexual control. She enjoys edging me. She likes to see me hard and humping air trying to go that last inch and ejaculate. I think she gets a sense of accomplishment at her ability to get me to the very very edge of orgasm and then stop. It’s a skill she’s developed. If she wants me to come she has fun too. I don’t quite understand why but she enjoys seeing me come. Her dilemma is how to balance her pleasure at giving me orgasms with my desire to be kept waiting.
The point is that she has an activity that she enjoys engaging with me. That activity doesn’t include locking me into a chastity device. Lately she’s made it pretty clear that wearing a chastity device is my hobby and not hers. Still, she’s willing to keep the keys and enforce my lockup. She does it is a service to me. I appreciate that.
On a completely different front, we have a Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). Our FLRD encourages her to make and enforce rules. She punishes me when I break a rule. The punishment of choice is spanking. For the longest time, she did this because I wanted her to. However, as her comfort with punishing me increased, she discovered it was interesting and perhaps, a little fun to find infractions when I commit them and then spank me for them. It isn’t that she likes hurting me; she likes the game.
It makes complete sense to think of our domestic discipline activities as a sort of game. The game is very useful to both of us. It’s a social lubricant that allows her to express and enforce her wishes. She teaches me to be better. At the same time she is doing something that I really want. I’ve written a lot about this and I don’t want to divert attention in this post. I just want to point out that our disciplinary activities are much more mutual than male chastity.
When it comes to our FLRD, Mrs. Lion has no intention of letting me decide if I should be punished for something. She understands and accepts her role as my disciplining wife. Unlike enforced male chastity where she will let me be wild if I want, she won’t let me break a rule without a painful reprisal. That’s exactly what I want.
It’s what I want with male chastity as well. I don’t think I should have a choice about wearing a chastity device. There are situations that will require me to be wild. Things like irritations from a device, air travel, or visits to physicians where the device would be discovered are exceptions. I don’t want to be the one who decides what is or isn’t an exception. The device is locked on me because I’m not supposed to make the decision to remove it. That’s up to my keyholder, Mrs. Lion.
Typically, I end up wild because Mrs. Lion forgets to lock me up after she plays with me. Generally, she will complete her edging, etc. and then return to her side of the bed and allow me time to cool off. I get soft pretty quickly but she prefers taking more time so she can recharge as well. More often than not she will forget I need to be locked up. I usually say something like, “Should I put my ring on?” I’m referring to the base ring of the chastity device. She will tell me I should and then sometime later will lock me in.
I suppose that’s reasonable. I don’t like it very much because it makes me feel that wearing the device is my choice. I know, I know it is. But I’d like to think it is my choice the same way that being in a disciplinary relationship is. It’s a choice I make once and then Mrs. Lion takes over. Obviously, that’s the only way a real disciplinary relationship can work. We have little bumps in it once in a while, but in general Mrs. Lion is an observant and strict disciplinarian.
The difference is that in her role as my disciplining wife she is correcting behavioral errors. As my keyholder she is keeping my penis locked up in a chastity device. She knows that if it isn’t locked up I won’t do anything I’m not supposed to. That means I’m locked up because I want to be. This lowers it as a priority for her. All this makes sense to me. The problem is that I wear the device as a symbol of her control and ownership. If it’s simply something I want to wear, it starts becoming an inconvenience for me. It has no purpose other than to satisfy a minor bondage kink.
Yes, I have that kink and I enjoy being locked up. But the real pleasure for me comes from the fact that I lose control of my penis and I’m not allowed to be wild. I’m always a caged lion and I have a very strict lioness who assures that her penis is always under her direct control. That’s hot! What can I tell you?
I’ve thought about whether it might be better for me to abandon enforced chastity in favor of simple orgasm control. It would save Mrs. Lion the trouble of dealing with hardware and remembering to keep me safely locked. I could still try new devices and wear them for a while, but my normal state would be wild. It’s certainly something I’m willing to do if that works better for Mrs. Lion.
After all, when I look at that picture of me sitting at my desk, the chastity device is very inconsequential. It just covers a small piece of me. The fact that I find it exciting to wear and think about, is in my head. I realize that Mrs. Lion has made a lot of changes to support my “special” needs. I’m willing to make this change if it’s better for her. I just think it should be one way or the other. Either: keep me locked up under the same level of firm control that applies to our disciplinary relationship, or let me be wild and let me get locked up occasionally to evaluate or play with new devices.
In either case, Mrs. Lion retains full orgasm control. I won’t masturbate or mount other lionesses. She’s my only source of sexual pleasure. That’s not going to change. Whether or not I’m under lock and key is the decision I would like her to make. Once made, we can stick with it.
[Mrs. Lion — A long time ago Lion told me he wouldn’t have any problem if we stopped playing. We did. Within a week or two he said he needed it. I know he can go longer without the cage, but I don’t know that he’d be happy giving it up entirely. At the very least, the house would be overrun with new chastity devices to test out.]