By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Punishment, Spanking

Most anyone who has tried BDSM play, either as a top or bottom, has experienced adult spanking. Just thinking about a session with spanking will make me hard. Thinking about past spankings have the same effect. It isn’t as easy for tops. Most need to “work up” to giving a memorable spanking. Women, in particular, even if they enjoy other sensation play, find spanking challenging.

As some keyholders have discovered, Mrs. Lion in particular, punishing with spanking is difficult even for an experienced sensation player. The reason isn’t too difficult to understand. Disciplinary spanking is intended to physically hurt the target. Session spanking in BDSM certainly hurts too, but the intention is to arouse and provide an exciting experience for the bottom. A disciplinary wife, when she is punishing, not only doesn’t want her husband to be excited, she wants him to hate the experience so much he will change his behavior to avoid another.

Mrs. Lion, who has administered many BDSM spankings to me, finds disciplinary spanking difficult even after months of dispensing them. There is a big difference between providing pain as part of agreed topping and hurting someone to modify behavior.

Part of this is the very nature of punishment. The disciplinary wife has to embrace the fact that she is in charge. While entering into a domestic disciplinary relationship is consensual, the actual discipline isn’t. This is vastly different from consensual BDSM where negotiation and limits are critical. Consent to be punished is not necessary or even desired. The disciplinary wife makes a determination that her disciplined husband requires correction. Without his consultation or permission she decides how she will administer the correction. She can withhold privileges or use corporeal punishment, generally spanking.

Many disciplined husbands like me even suggest spanking as a punishment. We may even get hard thinking about the discipline and get erect when it is about to start. If our disciplining wives administer a serious spanking, the first smack will wilt that erection almost instantly. There is no warmup and no pause between swats to let us recover. The spanking is a series of very hard swats with no erotic component whatsoever. There are no snuggles when it’s done. We may be asked if we have learned our lesson, but no affection. I do get congratulated if I stay still and not tense up, but no more. My spanking is intended to help me remember to do what I am told and do it without complaint.

If the spanking is sincerely administered, it will be feared when threatened. Mrs. Lion has two or three very severe paddles that she uses with a great deal of force. I expect that force to increase and the number of swats to grow. As I learn to manage the spanking, Mrs. Lion will have to make them stronger and longer to sustain the desired effect on my behavior. They will never be fun and I will never do something to provoke one.

That’s not very difficult sounding. But if you are the disciplinary wife, there are serious reasons why spanking is difficult for you. The big one, I think, is that of all punishments, spanking is an unmistakably unwelcome activity for your husband. He may want it the first time, but thereafter, while he may submit, you know he is not your partner in this activity. In fact, even though we all treasure the partnership we have with our husbands and wives, once FLM reaches the point of corporeal punishment, the partnership is clearly limited only to those things the disciplinary wife desires. At any time she can require obedience and administer pain if not followed.

That thought will drive many wives into the potentially crippling internal debate abut whether she is being fair. Does she really want to force him to do something he doesn’t want? He only forgot a rule, isn’t a warning enough? You get the idea. The simple fact is that you will sometimes be unfair. It is possible a warning would have been enough. You might make him angry by punishing him. Just thinking about that could be enough to stop you.

The first disciplinary spanking you administer might be just a handful of swats administered at the high end of your play spanking range. That is how Mrs. Lion has been working her way into punishment. I’ve been grateful for that. My first punishment spankings were somewhat shocking to me. I wasn’t prepared for how much they would hurt and how much I wanted to get away. In fact, for a while I did squirm away and Mrs. Lion let me get away with it. I imagine you might do the same. Disciplinary spanking is much harder to administer and receive than any of us expect.

I truly don’t want a punishment spanking. I’m less afraid of them than I was in the beginning. I think that Mrs. Lion is more comfortable administering them. I expect that as I earn them going forward, she will use more force, speed, and number of swats. I’m hard to bruise and I also don’t tend to feel the effects for long. I expect that as Mrs. Lion becomes even more effective at corporeal punishment, that might change. I’m not asking for that. Oh no! I hate punishment. But I think that we are on the mild end of disciplinary spanking. It’s only natural for Mrs. Lion to become even more effective at it. The benefit for both of us is that as my fear grows, just seeing that look will stop me in my tracks. In case you wondered, that’s a good thing. It’s exactly what I signed up for.

By:
In: Edging, Female led relationship with discipline, Male Control (training), Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Sex, Spanking

Technically two unless you count the ruined orgasm Friday. Yesterday, less than a day from an orgasm, Lion said he was really horny again. Maybe he is a goldfish too.

We were relaxing in the bedroom in the afternoon. He’d reminded me earlier that it was punishment night. He asked me what was on his list. I told him he was supposed to remember. He said he only remembered reminding me about maintenance spanking night and he was only a half hour late. As I recall, I reminded him. And I wondered if missing it by only a half hour was supposed to get him half a punishment. He said he has nothing to do with the punishment part. Very true. He had also interrupted me a few times, which I hadn’t asked him to remember. Plus the biggie of embarrassing me but I didn’t count that one. Depending on his behavior next weekend I may have to punish him retroactively. I did remind him that he holds the key to the punishments. If he obeys then he doesn’t get punished. All he has to do is be a good Lion. Simple, right?

He made the mistake of rolling over while we were laying there and I asked if he was offering his butt to me because he was ready for his punishment. He rolled back over and said no. Too late! I got a mean paddle and swatted those cute buns very hard ten times. To his credit, he did not move. He didn’t even yell into the pillow. He was a very good boy.

A little while later I started massaging his balls and stroking him. Mr. Weenie was at full attention in no time. How could he be so horny the day after an orgasm? There’s really no rhyme or reason to it. I edged him a few times. He was bucking away. I decided that even though he had come about 24 hours before, I hadn’t tasted it. He’d had his fun of ejaculating inside me. Now it was my turn to have fun. I gave him a hand job and enjoyed every drop of Lion creme filling.

By:
In: Edging, Spanking

I don’t think Lion gave me a weather report at all yesterday until I asked him just before I was ready to play with him. He reminded me earlier in the day that it was maintenance spanking night and suggested that he might need a good spanking. The other day he suggested that maintenance spanking should be more like punishment spanking. Sometimes Lion doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. I was more than happy to oblige him.

While I didn’t swat him as hard as I do for punishment, I was a bit relentless with the amount of swats. Generally with punishment I do six very hard swats, unless he moves. Then there are more. Maintenance swats are generally the same number, just not as hard. Last night the intensity was the normal maintenance swat but I did way more than six and they were fairly rapid fire. And when he moved he got another round of swats. He whined almost the entire time about it hurting. Duh! Isn’t that the point? Silly boy.

With a sore butt it was time for some teasing. I asked if he was horny. He said he definitely was. Yes, he sure was. I edged him and when I stopped I didn’t give him long to rest. I kept right at him until he was at the edge again. And again. He was so riled up I think a slight breeze would have done it for him. Then I decided to lick him. Torture! When he was calmed down a little I sucked him. Poor frustrated boy!

Afterward he thanked me for not waiting until ten o’clock. He says it really makes a difference. I guess the early bird really does get the worm…um…cock. He said he was really frustrated and reminded me that he was still wild. Yes, he was. So I leaned over and kissed Mr. Weenie. He’d be locked up in due time.

When I consulted my calendar before we played I noticed that his scheduled date was last night. Too bad he had just come the other night. I know Lion would have taken one for the team and had another orgasm. Good thing he doesn’t know when his scheduled dates are. The next one is a ways away. But so is Christmas, as Lion is fond of saying. And I don’t usually pay attention to the schedule anyway. I take his orgasms when I want them. They are mine, after all.

By:
In: Edging, Spanking

Last night, as promised, I tied Lion to the bed and whomped his poor buns. He said he never asked to be whomped. True. He said he just wanted to be tied down. True. Be careful what you ask for.

Once he was restrained I got out my whomping sticks. I told him which ones I had and ran them across his butt. I started out with my hand then I moved on to a crop that has a leather hand-shaped head. This crop amuses me. Lion says horse people like silly crops. I think kinky people must have some input in that area too.

When I finally started hitting him with the crop, he said it hurt and started to squirm. I told him he shouldn’t move. He said it really hurt. Good. It’s supposed to. He kept squirming. He said he didn’t want it to hurt so much. I don’t remember asking him. I remember taking into account the fact that he wanted to be restrained. I remember promising to play with him. I don’t remember asking him how he wanted me to play with him or how much he wanted it to hurt. Nope. That was my decision. And I decided it should hurt a little more than usual.

I wasn’t looking to leave a mark. I just wanted him to feel it. He hasn’t really been whomped in a long time. Sure, I’ve spanked him recently, but not really very hard. A Lion needs a good, hard whomping every now and then.

Earlier in the evening he said he was horny. I should have sprung into action then. By ten he was not as horny. I managed to edge him once, but then he went soft again. When we were hunkered down for the night, he said I am very good at making him very horny. Perfect!