If you’re reading this, you probably are interested in spanking or male chastity. Many of our posts would probably shock a vanilla reader. I imagined how I might have reacted to my post yesterday (“Spanked On Tuesday Night“). My bottom looked like the victim of a vicious beating. Even if you knew it was consensual, you might question our sanity.

I get it. It is very unlikely that any couple who is new to the idea of male spanking and domestic discipline would imagine that they would end up like us. Let’s face it, extreme is in the eye of the beholder. I suppose we are on the “extreme” end of the DD scale, at least in terms of punishment. We’re probably at the other end of the spectrum in terms of male control. Right now, Mrs. Lion only punishes me for breaking two rules: leaving the shower door open and not setting up the coffee maker. Either of those offenses will earn me a ten-minute spanking with various painful paddles.

One other rule rarely gets enforced: keeping track of the dog zapper. We have a shock collar that our dog sometimes wears when she gets dangerously rambunctious. She’s accidentally gouged both of us with her nails. The shock collar gets her attention, and she stops being so frantic. Lately, it hasn’t been needed. Anyway, I’m supposed to keep the zapper control with me when she’s wearing it. I’ve slipped up a few times but haven’t been punished. I don’t know why Mrs. Lion decided not to spank me.

I can imagine that you have two big questions. The first is, why would spankings be so severe? Surely, less damage would still make the needed point. For me, at least, less severe isn’t effective. Apparently, I’m not alone in the need for spankings that are felt for days after they are administered. It’s been two days since my last spanking, and it still hurts a little to sit. For example, if you read back a few posts, A Tale Of Nine Spankings, you’ll see that I needed stronger spankings. It’s important to remember that I’m a full-grown male. A pink bottom isn’t going to deter me from breaking a rule. I need to yelp and scream during a spanking. The humiliation of that is a big part of the punishment. Then, if I feel the spanking for days afterward, I get a strong message that I better behave.

The second question is, why such trivial rules? In the scope of our marriage, leaving the shower door open or failing to set up the coffee pot has to be trivial. Those offenses are like squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube. They’re annoying but not earth-shaking. That’s the point. Little things like this accumulate in the mind. If unpunished, the anger slowly builds until there is an explosion. That doesn’t happen with us. Each time I forget, Mrs. Lion punishes me. She sees how unhappy my spanking makes me. There’s no need to build up anger. I have a very strong incentive not to break those rules. She knows it.

We gamify domestic discipline

There’s another, more subtle reason this works for us. By setting rules and consequences, we are playing a sort of game. Well, Mrs. Lion is playing a game and enjoys that aspect of our disciplinary marriage. Instead of being pissed off that I left the shower door open, she gets pleasure from catching me. She doesn’t particularly enjoy spanking me.; she doesn’t dislike it either. But spanking me is part of the game. It wouldn’t be much fun if all she did were catch me. She likes my reaction and the consequence she delivers. Spanking me doesn’t turn her on, but it is part of a game she likes.

The rules of the game are very simple. She makes rules I am to follow. They can be trivial. That doesn’t matter. If I break a rule and she discovers it, I am punished. The punishment is important. For the game to be fun, I have to genuinely want to avoid being punished. Mrs. Lion can tell if my punishment isn’t severe enough if I break the rule again too soon. We agree that I need more rules. The game isn’t very challenging right now. Suggestions would be appreciated.

The idea of being spanked turns me on. That’s another reason Mrs. Lion has to be severe. A milder spanking could be interpreted as sex play. A ten-minute DWC spanking never feels like play to me. I hate it while I get it. A day or two later, thinking about it will probably turn me on. I can’t explain this obvious contradiction. It’s how I’m wired. In fact, if too much time goes by without a spanking, my sex drive is affected. Mrs. Lion knows this. If more than a couple of weeks go by without a rule being broken, I get a “just because” spanking. It’s identical to what I get if I break a rule.

You might imagine that I would intentionally break a rule just to get spanked. I won’t. Even though the idea of being spanked turns me on and my sexual battery gets recharged by spanking, it still hurts too much to invite. Also, if I intentionally break a rule, that’s cheating in our game. That’s why we need more rules. Adding new rules is challenging me.

I like that the consequences are so painfully real. It gives me a strong incentive to avoid being caught. I work hard to stay off the spanking bench. Mrs. Lion works hard to find reasons to make me ride it. Right now, the ball is in her court. The game is getting too easy for me. I’m challenged when I get more than one spanking a week. That means I need to work very hard, or sitting will hurt all of the time. That’s how I get tuned up.

Lion says his buns are still sore from his spanking the other night. As you can see in the image above, after two days, he’s still marked. I guess I did a good job. I don’t think it was the meanest spanking I’ve ever given him, but it was certainly more ferocious than anything in his recent past. I think I was trying so hard to avoid making him bleed that I backed off too far. No more. Blood be damned. [Lion — This spanking was a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10. See this link for the image.]

Having said that, there’s still the problem of not having many rules. The only two that he consistently breaks are the coffee pot and the shower door. Well, those are the only two I spank him for. He should get spanked more often for being a know-it-all and for interrupting me. He just did that a little while ago. Why can’t he just shut up until I’m done talking? Nine times out of ten, I would have answered his question or made the same point he interrupted me to make if I could have finished my thought. I definitely let him get away with that too much. On the other hand, if I spanked him every time he did it, neither one of us would get anything else done. [Lion — If I actually got spanked when I do it, I doubt it would take long for me to learn.]

Maybe the problem isn’t not having enough rules. Maybe the problem is that I don’t enforce the ones we have. I’ll need to shorten my fuse on Mr. Know-It-All and Mr. Interrupter. I think it will be tougher to break him of those habits. He can set a reminder for the coffee pot and punishment day. He’ll have no way to remind himself not to interrupt. I guess that’s what the paddle is for. I’ll have to start lifting weights to strengthen my arms for all the impending swats.

Of course, I say this knowing I talk a good game. I’ll either swat him for the next week and forget again, or I won’t swat him at all. It’s my modus operandi.

Before I could even consider whether I should spank Lion for forgetting the coffee pot and shower door the other day, he forgot the coffee pot again. He’s also interrupted me a few times. He thinks he knows what I’m going to say and tries to finish my sentences. Or he knows what’s best for my daughter. It would be different if he just offered an opinion, but he is the knowledge center of the world. This time I have to spank him.

He doesn’t think I’ve been spanking him as hard lately. I don’t know how to make sure every time is the same as the one before. Is there such a thing as a spank-o-meter? Maybe we should invent one. I bet there’s something like it. We just have to modify it for our purposes.

He hasn’t been very receptive to my sexual attention for the past few nights. He wants to try earlier. To accommodate that, I told him I’d spank him before his shower. That way he can soothe his sore buns with cool water. Since he wants a harder spanking, I guess it doesn’t matter if I make him bleed or not. He’ll be able to wash it right off. By the time we’re done with dinner, he should be ready for love.

He did respond a little last night. Of course, he didn’t pause the TV so how responsive could he have been? He said he didn’t think my hand would do it. I offered to suck him, but he didn’t want me to since I’ve had a headache on and off for a few days. If we wait till I feel 100%, it might be August. I say tonight’s the night. Give me a chance to see if I can get him really excited. I’m pretty sure I can. Put me in, coach.

Mrs. Lion is still feeling a bit out of sorts. She’s had one of those lingering headaches that sometimes bother her. She wasn’t up to spanking me on Monday night. It won’t be long before she’s ready to swat me again. I have a question that is very difficult to answer. How strong are the spankings that disciplinary wives deliver?

I’ve only been able to locate one online source that addresses this subject for disciplinary spankings. There is a lot of BDSM spanking advice, but that isn’t relevant. That one source is the defunct Disciplinary Wives Club site. It’s been quite a few years since this site was active. It was established to encourage women wishing to discipline their husbands. There is a healthy dose of sexual arousal in the material, but it does offer concrete ideas that we have tried and found effective.

The DWC suggests that a spanking be timed using a kitchen timer or other device. The minimum duration is ten minutes, with five minutes added for each additional offense. Mrs. Lion follows this guideline, and I can attest it makes a big difference from the shorter duration she used in the past. We’ve learned that a spanking’s effectiveness is largely a function of its duration. The ten-minute minimum works well for us. That part is easy to understand and follow.

The DWC gives a golden rule that we have learned is necessary for our disciplinary marriage to work properly:

“The well-disciplined husband is a direct result of constant vigilance on the part of the wife. Vigilance means being aware of almost everything he is doing and keeping your rules consistent and predictably enforced. The training methods suggested do involve strict discipline, and strong doses of corporal punishment. …There is no question that welts will be raised and bottoms bruised, but chastisement should never leave permanent marks. A dose of corporal punishment should have a dual effect. It should be extremely painful while it is being applied, and the area it was applied to should remain very tender for a period of time afterward.”

Even with our very short list of enforceable rules, we’ve learned how true this is. Any exceptions cause us to lose focus. Mrs. Lion has generally followed these suggestions, though lately, I haven’t felt the effects of my spanking after it is done. I expect that means Mrs. Lion may need to change some of the paddles she uses and the force of her swats.

There is a section of the DWC devoted to “letters.” Many are male fantasies. A few offer helpful suggestions. The ten-minute timer was in one of them. You have to slog through a lot of fantasy to get to the meat. What’s missing are real-life disciplinary couples relating their spanking experiences and techniques. We are the only couple trying to provide this information, as far as I know.

Aunt Kay, the principal author of the DWC site, insists that spankings be administered over the knee. We haven’t been able to do that. Our bodies just don’t fit together that way. Also, the paddles that can be used over the knee have to be shorter. Many of Mrs. Lion’s paddles are better suited to her standing next to me. It would be helpful to learn how others handle spanking positions. The ideal teaching/comparison tool would be videos of real partners administering punishment. The idea is education, not porn.

I know that there are other couples who use corporal punishment. Julie of strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com has some excellent descriptions of her experiences. I know that discussions of punishment techniques can easily devolve into porn. Surely, there are some mature people practicing domestic discipline who can share their real-life punishment techniques and scenarios. I hope this didn’t leave us when Aunt Kay passed.