Spring is most certainly here. The sun is shining, and we have a preview of summer temperatures. Our area has a peculiar climate. According to the experts, it isn’t affected by global warming. Our temperatures are expected to remain stable for another hundred years. Garrison Keillor said we have spring 9 months of the year and summer the other three. It’s true. With rare exceptions, it’s in the 40s and 50s from November through May. Then we get a dry, sunny summer with temperatures of 80 during the day and 55 at night. People think we get a lot of rain. We don’t. Our annual rainfall in the Seattle area is the same as in New York. We get ours more slowly.

Anyway, We’ve had a warm (for us) week. Our daytime temperatures have hit 80 (yesterday). Nights are still cold and get down into the 30’s. I’ve grown very fond of this climate. If we want some hot weather, we can drive 50 miles across the Cascades, where the summer is more like the rest of the country.

Now that we’ve had the weather report, I can move on to the news. It’s been quiet since my orgasm last week. Apparently, Mrs. Lion has had some BDSM thoughts but hasn’t done anything about them. In her post yesterday, she wrote that she also hadn’t flexed her authority muscles. I commented that it’d been 20 years since anyone tried to put her down for doing that. Maybe her recent thoughts about being dominant with me in the past signals that she wants to flex her muscles on some level. I hope so.

Mrs. Lion isn’t alone when it comes to being challenged by assuming an authoritative marital role. She has no role models to help her. Some people writing on the Internet suggest marital discipline be equated with maternal power. This sends a negative message to women. I don’t think many women want to marry their sons. I don’t mean this in the sexual sense. I can’t imagine a woman wanting to be a mommy to her husband and her kids.

The maternal model is the only one available to women. Men have plenty of models when it comes to male authority. There is no issue with a man taking a paternal role with his wife. Western society is based on this. If a man is paternal, he doesn’t think of his wife as a daughter. He understands that his role extends beyond his kids. Disciplining his wife may look similar to how he treats his children, but he and his wife know it is different. For one thing, he holds her to a much higher standard than his kids. While similar to what he administers to his children, punishment is far more severe, suited to his adult wife.

We don’t offer a model of spousal authority. We badly need it. Mrs. Lion’s power isn’t maternal. It’s spousal. If she chooses to punish me like a child, it doesn’t mean she sees herself as my mother. She uses the best tools at her disposal to help me to be the best husband.  Those of us in female led relationships need to avoid relating what we do to maternal authority. It’s simply not correct.

Mrs. Lion is never going to be a tyrant. She needn’t worry about that. She is a fair and loving wife. She needs to stop worrying about the consequences of expressing her feelings. Her focus belongs on changing my behavior. Spousal discipline carries the obligation to help me to improve consistently. Each time she punishes me, I learn something. Spousal authority isn’t about punishment. It’s about positive change. It’s about building a strong, happy marriage.

Most of the time, I learn about Mrs. Lion’s plans for me here in the blog. She seems to prefer communicating publicly. You learn about what’s next for me at the same time I do. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just a little odd that her most intimate communications are written here where everyone can see them. Our sex life is public.

In general, that works for me. It’s better than silence. When Mrs. Lioln wasn’t providing coming attractions here, she wasn’t saying anything to me in private either. It’s very sexy when she tells me what she is going to do to me. It’s more arousing when she tells me before she tells you. She’s been very reluctant to say, or write, too much. She doesn’t want to promise something she won’t be able to deliver. For example, she wrote that I needed a “just because” spanking and/or an orgasm. She was too tired to deliver either. Of course, the possible orgasm being missed was disappointing. It was also completely understandable. I’m not upset.

I am most certainly fine about missing the spanking. I recognize that I need them for both punishments and as a reminder to behave. It doesn’t mean I have to like them. I don’t. I also have to admit that after a ten-minute spanking, I will have sore spots for three or four days. Every time I sit down, I’m reminded that it would be truly horrible to get a fresh spanking on my sore bottom. I know that Lioness 4.0 has no problem at all spanking an already-sore bottom.

I don’t think she plans the interval between “just because” spankings. She delivers them when she decides it’s time. I suppose she can gauge their effectiveness by noting whether I need correction between them. It makes sense that these preventative spankings’ purpose is to keep me aware of the consequences of being naughty. I have to admit that my memory of just how much I hate being punished fades over time. I don’t forget, but concern about being punished stops being front of mind.

The need for regular spanking is no different than the need for ejaculation. Both are basic forms of attention provided by my lioness. They have different purposes, of course, but the reason to deliver them regularly is the same. Both reinforce her role. We learned by experience that if she doesn’t spank me regularly, she will also stop observing and punishing offenses. That’s a key benefit for her. Keeping the time between spankings relatively short not only keeps me on my best behavior but also reminds her of her role as my disciplining wife.

Sex is no different. I love and need regular sexual activity. Most of the time, it’s teasing. I’ve been trained not to expect orgasm every time she stimulates my penis. I know that eventually, she will let me ejaculate—failure to provide regular teasing results in “forgetting” sex.  Since Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in sex for herself, not providing regular activity will cause her to forget I need it. She has no internal pressure to have sex. That means providing sex for me is a habit the same as including spanking in our marriage. Use it or lose it.

Back to revising for me. Sadly, I still haven’t found my fiction voice. I’m trying yet another approach, this time writing in the first person. I always considered this writing to be an easy out for bad writers. Third-person writing seemed to be a higher calling. Maybe it is too high for me. For the record, I am much happier in the third person. Descriptions are easier, and the plot seems to move better. This is just a test. Leave no stoned unturned.

I just read a headline on my Alexa. It said, “Broadway shows are first to open in Australia. Wouldn’t you say that was off-Broadway? Way, way off-Broadway. What do I know?

Mrs. Lion has been sending mixed messages. She posted that she forgives me for my conversational faux pas. Yet, she also said spanking me would help her feel better. [Mrs. Lion — I didn’t say it would make me feel better. I said I forgave him because spanking him was too much pressure given everything else. He said spanking would be a sort of pressure relief.] I suppose it doesn’t matter whether or not she has a reason. For the sake of lioness training, it makes sense for her to paddle me for pissing her off the other day. Then we can both make the connection between upsetting her and punishing me.

I’ve been thinking about my part in our disciplinary relationship. While it may be modeled on the way mothers punish children, it’s different in several important ways. Obviously, it’s a lot harsher. An adult male needs much stronger educational messages. There’s another, a more significant difference: I am an active participant.

A child is punished for breaking a rule that an adult creates. The child doesn’t create rules or help with enforcement. An adult partner has a lot more responsibility. The main one for us is that I help Mrs. Lion become a consistent enforcer of rules supporting my growth and well-being.  She has no problem consistently enforcing rules that teach me better behavior, like waiting for her to eat first, setting up the coffeepot (when we get another), and not spilling food on my clothes.

The challenge comes when my behavior upsets her. She hates it when I interrupt her. As she wrote in a very recent post, it is very upsetting when I don’t give her a chance to express a complete thought. Yet, she doesn’t punish me for those offenses. That’s when I have to behave maturely and help her. We both know that when she can consistently punish me for my annoying behavior, we will be happier. That won’t happen unless I help her.

Believe me; I wouldn’t say I like being spanked. The idea may turn me on, and being spanked may provide sexual fuel once the pain subsides, but it isn’t something I actively want. Ten or fifteen minutes of paddling is endlessly painful. It hurts to sit for days afterward. It may be fun to read about, but it is absolutely no fun to get. Yet, I have to ask for spankings when I become aware I have pissed off Mrs. Lion. Of course, once she develops the disciplinary habit of punishing me when I do those things, it will be better. In the meantime, it is my obligation to ask her to hurt me when I deserve it.

More red, less black and blue with the lighter paddle. Hurts at least as much as the spanking spoon.

Monday night Mrs. Lion gave me a 2-offense DWC spanking. She set the timer for fifteen minutes and went to work. Instead of the heavy spanking spoon, she used the ferrule paddle. This tool is made of bloodwood with a long handle and a small, round face. Before getting the spanking spoon, this was the most vicious paddle in our collection. It’s much thinner than the spanking spoon. It has considerably more sting and creates more red and less black and blue.

By the time the 15-minute timer went off, I was more than ready. Mrs. Lion wasn’t done. The spanking went on and on. I hated every second of it, and it hurt when I tried to find a comfortable sleeping position. It’s no picnic sitting at my desk. I hate sting much more than the deeper thud. Perhaps Mrs. Lion might want to try some of our paddles with a larger hitting surface and lighter weight. I have to admit that Monday’s spanking was very effective. I’m going to be much more diligent in getting chores done and eating neatly.

ferrule paddle.

Mrs. Lion did not punish me for interrupting her. Of course, it isn’t too late. I think it is important to help me learn to be more respectful when we talk. I’m sure she will get to this when she is ready. Now that I’ve written this, she may decide she is ready now. We had what might have earned me a growl or spanking on Tuesday morning. Our coffeemaker, yes, the one that got me spanked, died. Mrs. Lion was trying to explain what was wrong. I was lost with her explanation. This sort of confusion happens a lot. Mrs. Lion uses a lot of pronouns without a clear connection to nouns. She was telling me about “this” and “that” and “before I was lost.

I stopped her and explained my confusion. She looked annoyed. She always looks annoyed when I can’t follow her context. She often tells me that if I let her finish, I will understand. So far, I don’t. I find it hard to connect all of the indefinite conversational dots. I suppose I could nod and pretend to understand. Maybe if I wait long enough, it will come clear. I like to follow along but can’t without nouns to reference pronouns. If she punishes me for annoying her, I will learn how to manage these conversations better. At least I will learn how to stop pissing her off.