I was punished on Sunday night for failing to set up the coffeepot. I received, for Mrs. Lion, a mild spanking. Don’t get me wrong, it hurt like hell and left me with a red bottom and a few bruises. I was grateful it wasn’t worse. I dreaded my punishment. The offense occurred on Saturday. I was very careful to be sure to not repeat the mistake on Sunday. Mrs. Lion noticed this and teased me that I mustn’t want another punishment. She was right.

After Sunday’s punishment.

After she finished and took a picture for us to post, I felt oddly happy. It’s tough to admit, but I need to feel her authority. This need is different from the combination of sexual arousal and desire for control that got us started. It’s deeper. It seems to me that our disciplinary relationship has matured to the point that we both need it. Mrs. Lion clearly enjoyed catching me breaking a rule. While she doesn’t get any particular pleasure out of punishing me, she clearly sees it as a necessary activity.

You may have noticed that I am referring to my spanking as being punished. This is intentional. Mrs. Lion almost never refers to spanking me unless it is time for her to administer one. It’s always “punishment.” I’ve noticed this for some time. You can see it in her posts. I think this is significant. Spanking is an activity that can be BDSM or disciplinary. I almost always refer to my discipline as “spankings..” I focus on the activity. Mrs. Lion talks about the consequence of my offense: punishment.

It’s a lot easier for me to talk about being spanked than it is to refer to it as punishment. The words are not synonyms. Punishment is retribution by an authority. Spanking is swatting my bottom. I can be aroused thinking about spanking; not so much about being punished.

This isn’t splitting hairs. The physical activity may be the same, but the way it affects us isn’t. Punishment is an expression of her authority. I think that’s why I have resisted using the word when talking about being disciplined. And, I suspect it is why she uses it almost exclusively. I doubt it’s a conscious decision for her. It wasn’t for me. Now that I think about it, I understand.

moving to the next level

It’s been difficult for Mrs. Lion to extend her authority to cover my behavior when I annoy her. It’s one thing to punish me for breaking a rule. It’s another to exercise her authority if I say something that pisses her off. She tends to question whether the reason she is annoyed comes from me or from other external factors. It would be unfair to punish me because she was upset by a bad day at work.

I buy that. I think it is almost always possible to identify other factors beyond my control that upset her. On the other hand, there is no ambiguity at all about whether or not I set up the coffeepot. If I forget, she punishes me. It’s black and white.

If we make a list of things I do that generally annoy her, she can pick two or three to punish. Each can be specifically defined. Obviously, it is much more difficult to do this than the simple set-up-the-coffeepot rule, but I’m sure we can do it. Then it might be easier to enforce with the same consistency as the old rules.

Neither of us can explain why our disciplinary relationship works so well for us. It does and we both agree that when it is in full force we are happier. I think that my habit of referring to punishment as spankings is a way to avoid recognizing Mrs. Lion’s authority. I will stop doing that. It surprises me that such a subtle, semantic difference between spanking and punishment can make such a big difference to me. Even now, though I realize it, I find it a little difficult to say that I was punished. I would much rather say I was spanked.

Sometimes taking care of Lion gets to me. It’s usually a little thing that sends me off the rails. Obviously, it’s a combination of things and that last straw really does break the camel’s back.

Since I’ve gotten contacts, I’ve been using Lion’s mirror in the bathroom. I use the higher magnification side and I try to remember to flip it back over to Lion’s side when I’m done. This morning, I flipped it but I didn’t get it into the correct position. When Lion went to put his contacts in, the case fell off the mirror and he lost a lens. He said, “I would appreciate it if you could put it back flat when you’re done with it.” For some reason, this hit a nerve.

It’s trivial. What’s the big deal? Why can’t I just make sure the mirror is flat? Why can’t he just make sure the mirror is flat? Is the toilet seat up or down? Does the toilet paper roll go over or under? Who cares? It’s just a nit picky thing that pushes all the wrong buttons.

Again, I think it’s in addition to other nit picky things that aren’t worth mentioning at the time. There’s something in front of the coffee pot so he couldn’t put it together for tomorrow. Could he move the “something” out of the way? That’s happened a few times and when I look it’s been things he bought that have no home yet. A few times it’s been dishes. But the way he says it makes it sound like it’s my stuff. How dare I put something on a counter. The nerve!

No. This has nothing to do with sex. But it does have something to do with our power exchange. Lion is right that I hold onto things rather than make waves. But, in this case, I think I’m right too. There’s no reason to punish Lion for not setting up the coffee pot if he can’t get to it, even if I think he should be able to move it. It’s a little thing. There’s no reason to punish him for asking that the mirror be left in a certain position, even if I think he should be able to move it. It’s also a little thing.

The problem, of course, is when the little things add up. Do I punish him because this one tiny thing, added to the list of other tiny things, pushed me over the edge? I say no. Lion will undoubtedly say yes. Whatever he did that annoyed me should be punished. Period. I’m still grappling with that. It’s been very difficult for me.

[Lion — I know this is tough for my lioness. I’m sorry]

As promised, I ventured near my weenie last night. I think, although Lion didn’t encourage me, I might have been able to get more of a reaction if I’d suggested some oral activity. Even if it doesn’t produce an erection that leads to edging, it will be a step in the right direction. And I don’t think Lion can argue that oral sex doesn’t feel good even if you’re not particularly interested.

Today, the dog goes for a bath. She needs it. I’m not able to brush her as often or thoroughly as I should. She just does not want to sit still long enough. She also needs her toenails and the fur between her toes trimmed. Lion’s allergies will be better. And we’ll all live happily ever after. Why does Lion have a long haired dog if he’s allergic? We considered a poodle mix after we lost our last dog. Then I made the mistake of finding a litter of golden retrievers available nearby and the rest is history. It’s hard to argue with a sweet golden retriever. And Lion will say his allergies aren’t bad enough to consider not having his baby around.

Lion has been mumbling about being tired. I’m not sure he’ll make the trip to drop off the dog. I’d rather have him home resting so he’s able to have some fun later. If he snoozes now, he won’t have to snooze later. He may very well snooze later and that won’t mean he’s missed his opportunity for snuggling or whatever else might happen.

Friday morning I woke up late. I started work a half hour late and needed to get a project done. I took a break to have breakfast with Lion and didn’t get the breakfast dishes taken care of till after 1. On Saturday morning, Lion went into the kitchen and put the coffee pot together then. Should he have been in trouble for not doing it on Friday? Well, he did get in the kitchen before I tried to make coffee. And he said he tried to put the pot together twice but I hadn’t taken care of the dishes yet. It’s true he had most of the afternoon and all evening to do it, but he never went back into the kitchen. I decided to give him a pass.

Yesterday, however, he was in the kitchen several times after I took care of the breakfast dishes. He had ample time to put the coffee pot together. Did he? Nope. I wasn’t going to remind him. I was going to let him earn his punishment. We had more trouble getting to sleep last night and I guess having trouble sleeping reminded Lion about the coffee pot because off he went after midnight to do his job. I guess he didn’t want red buns today.

Unfortunately, Lion’s sore spot is still hanging around. He sent a message to his doctor (no weenie pic attached) to get some advice. So far he hasn’t heard anything. He says it hurts a little less and he’s tempted to pop what looks like an infected part. But, since he’s partial to an intact penis, he’s afraid to do that. I guess I would be too, but I pop blisters and pimples all the time. I’d have had that sucker popped on the second day it was on me.

Lion has been telling me all morning that he has a sore spot on his left butt cheek from last night’s punishment spanking. I’m not sure why. I wasn’t hitting particularly hard and I didn’t hit for long because he was having other issues at the time. Apparently, the swats I landed were sufficient; for that infraction, at least.

As I was making lunch, I stupidly started talking about work. Lion said I should treat a coworker as my assistant since she’s been trained to help me in my job. I have no authority over her. Any time I ask my boss about her, I’m told not to worry. They’re not replacing me. Anyway, Lion picked up the ball and started running with it. The only problem is that I never fumbled it. As soon as I said the words, I knew he’d take over the conversation. The difference this time is that I yelled at him. He said I never acknowledged his statement so he thought he had to repeat it. I told him I didn’t know why he made a statement when I was in the middle of telling him something. That shut him up. Now, do I need to punish him too? Part of me thinks just yelling at him might be enough. Another part of me thinks he needs the reinforcement of a paddle to convince him how serious I was when I yelled at him. I know which part of me he will side with.

I think I’ve made great strides in sticking up for myself right then and there. But I can hear him saying, “And now you have to let your paddle do the yelling as well.” He’s already complaining about the sore spot on his left cheek. Maybe the right one needs a sore spot too.