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In: Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Punishment

If you’ve been following the blog, in her post yesterday, Mrs. Lion announced that due to my grumbling on Saturday night, she is extending my wait from Sunday to today (Monday). I am not pleased;  not one bit. It’s true. I was upset Saturday night. I was feeling that enforced chastity had stopped being fun for me. Yes, I love the way the teasing feels, and yes, I like it when Mrs. Lion plays with me. But do I really want to feel this frustrated? I was starting to think that I had made a mistake. I was very sure that I was done with this entire experience.

I went to sleep a very grumpy lion. I really had no reason to be grumpy. Mrs. Lion wasn’t scheduled to play with me and my next scheduled orgasm was for Sunday. It was totally irrational. Last night we went out for Mexican food. We haven’t been eating out much lately. It was a big treat. I had a very large margarita, nachos, and carne asada.  It was a huge meal. I fell asleep almost immediately after we got home. As you might have guessed, I’m not a big drinker. When I woke up, my mood had worsened. Mrs. Lion had commented in the past about my “grumblyness” after a certain amount of waiting.  I don’t think it was ever this severe. I think it is caused by the quality of Mrs. Lion’s teasing. The less teasing, the easier it is for me to ignore that I have to wait. The last few times, the teasing has been really good.  I can’t forget that I want to have an orgasm.

When Mrs. Lion told me that I had to wait another day, it made me unhappy. Not unhappy in a sexy, I’m a submissive way, but just unhappy. I think that means the game is over for me. Mrs. Lion has let me know that she is in control. Whether or not I like it, or feel it is sexy, I am going to wait another day or more if she gets angry again. Clearly, I don’t get a vote, and if she chooses to tease me today (which will only make things worse), I will respond whether I want to or not. I think she realizes that I don’t have to want her attention for my cock to respond.

Before this latest development, I was going to write about the fact that Mrs. Lion hasn’t raised her paddle once in over two weeks. I continue to drop food, my napkin, and ice cubes. I also eat first when I forget. But there has been no retribution. I asked about this but didn’t get an answer. Spanking is discipline I want. I thought I would find waiting to have the same hate-it / love-it effect on me as spanking. It might if done at the start of the wait, but now it most definitely is different. I really hate this extra time she tacked on. I’m grateful it’s only one day.

This is a turning point for both of us. Mrs. Lion has done the one thing she has written that she has trouble doing: delaying my orgasm. She has reacted to my misbehavior as a true keyholder. This is the first time in memory when I have been punished in a way that isn’t fun, perverse or not, for me. I don’t like it one bit. Nope, not at all. But that’s the point. I understand. I didn’t think a one day extra wait would be a big deal. Well, it is. I’m not sure which makes me feel worse, Mrs. Lion taking away something I want so much, or that coming means so much to me.

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In: Femdom, Keyholder101, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Punishment

It’s always easiest to be the bottom. My job is to accept and obey. If I don’t, I get punished. Ok, it isn’t always easy, but it doesn’t require initiative or much thought. Mrs. Lion has the heavy lifting. Since she is doing this for me without any direct connection between her power and her pleasure, being my keyholder is a service to me. In other words, it’s work for her.

A sadist is someone who gets sexual pleasure out of controlling or hurting others. That definition covers a wide range of behaviors from ax murderers to wonderful play partners. Obviously I’m not writing about serial killers. Some people get aroused when they have power over another. Others, when their partner is feeling frustration or discomfort get excited. I bet you can see where I am going.

If as a keyholder, you get turned on seeing the frustration of your caged male when you won’t let him orgasm, you will have incentive to frustrate him more. If it turns you on to see him squirm when you spank him, you will make sure you spank often. If you like seeing the look in his eyes when you orgasm and his penis lies helpless in its cage, you will want to come just for that pleasure.

The point is WIIFM (What’s In It For Me). If the keyholder can find benefits in controlling her caged male, she will be far more motivated to truly take control. In short, if she is a sadist, you will both have a lot more fun. Little girls (and to a much lesser extent little boys) are taught to be “nice”. They learn to be unselfish and considerate. These are not useful qualities for a sadist.

I’m not suggesting that as a keyholder you turn into a monster. I am suggesting a little reeducation. Do you get turned on (even a little) when you see that you arouse your partner? If you do, you have the basic tools needed to become a Junior Sadist (earn your merit badges!). The key is that you don’t have to change really. You just need to learn to understand your caged male’s reactions on a gut level.

He gets aroused when he is sexually frustrated. He is the opposite of a sadist; he is a masochist. I can just hear the guys screaming, “No, I’m not! I just like to be forced to wait to come.” Ah ha! The operative word is “forced”. Regardless of how the kink plays out, the caged male wants some element of choice removed from his life. By definition, he can’t know he lost his power of choice unless you, his keyholder, prevent him from getting or doing something he wants. Right? See where we are going?

To make any power exchange work, the person in control has to exercise the power over the bottom. When you do that, chances are very good he won’t like it, at least at the time. I bet you thnk that is a bad thing. You are making the guy you are trying to please unhappy. It’s not. It’s a very good thing. He wants to wallow in the misery of frustration and lost control Why else would he have asked you to lock him up. He asked you, right? Maybe at times like that you should remind him and tell him to thank you for all you are doing for him.

You knew all that of course. But here is your junior sadist homework. Each time you see him suffering as a result of your control, tell yourself that this is exactly what turns him on. It’s true. It is. Reach down deep inside and try to feel the arousal that you are giving him. See if you can find a way, even if it means having him stimulate your physically, to get that nice twinge when he is frustrated or uncomfortable. You learned to be nice. You can learn to be a sadist too — the good kind. He’ll love you for it.

 

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In: Male Control (training), Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Spanking

Last night Lion said he wonders what our readers think of us. I’ve been wondering if we give enough clues that someone could figure out who we are. In other words, if someone who knows us read our blog, would they know it was us. It’s not like I tell everyone my hair is green (Lion would kill me) and that Lion drives a Porsche (he wishes) so if you see a green-haired woman in a Porsche you’d know it’s us.

The point is that no one knows what we do in the bedroom or our personal dungeon. No one knows that we write this blog. We could be your neighbors. We could be your aunt and uncle. Unless your neighbors or your aunt and uncle have shared these things with you, you really have no idea what goes in on their private lives. Personally, I like that anonymity. I don’t think I could get up in front of a group of people and share any of this. Many people can. I’ve been to conventions with classes and presentations. People give classes about spanking and water sports like they’re talking about baking a cake. Of course, I would be just as uncomfortable talking about baking a cake in front of people.

As women often do (men do it too so don’t feel superior) my coworkers and I complain about our significant others. If the dishes didn’t make it into the dishwasher after his midnight snack or he left his shoes in the middle of the living room rather than putting them in the closet. Inevitably one will say she doesn’t have these problems because she trained her husband well. I’m sure most of us assume she means she just, over time, nagged him into doing what she wanted him to do. I don’t think any of us expect her to say that she spanked him until he figured out that the dirty dishes belong in the dishwasher. She may very well have withheld sex, but not from a chastity point of view. She was just mad at him and telling him “no” a few nights in a row let him see the error of leaving his shoes in the living room. Of course, she could very well have spanked him. Just as I wouldn’t share that I spank Lion because he drops food, I’m sure she wouldn’t share if she spanked her husband. It’s just not something you share unless you’re sure you’re in a safe environment.

I suppose Lion took a big chance when he told me about his kinks. I could have said goodbye and have a nice life. I never would have guessed by looking at him, that he was such a pervert. He’s everything my mother warned me about. And more. And I’m glad I stuck around.

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In: Keyholder, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Rewards, Sex

When I first gave Lion his Good Lion coupon he was excited about having a bonus orgasm whenever he wanted. Then he decided it felt like cheating. After I read his post for this morning (the first draft), he asked if I understood why he was having trouble using the coupon. I told him I don’t really understand why he wants what he wants so we can just add that to the list. He asked if I would be willing to trade the bonus orgasm for a day or two off his wait time. I said I would consider it. About an hour later he presented his coupon for the bonus orgasm. I hadn’t even had a chance to think about the trade.

I wondered what effect the coupon would have on him. I thought he’d hold it for a few days at least. He’s said that giving him a bonus orgasm feels like cheating and I know he doesn’t want to choose when he gets to come because it’s like he’s in charge. But he had a coupon. And I wouldn’t have given it to him unless I wanted to him to have an opportunity to choose at least this one time. If anything I thought the coupon would make it easier to get through the twenty-one days. Maybe it would be difficult one day but he knew he had the coupon so he could present it and be fine. Then that urgency would pass and he’d see he could make it one more day. And then maybe the next day wasn’t so difficult. But the day after was difficult again, but there’s this coupon that he can use and did he really want to use it that day or could he make it another day? And so on. Instead, he caved in after less than twenty-four hours. Lion always says he doesn’t have an addictive personality. He may not be addicted to sex, but he has less willpower than he thinks.

Technically I could have canceled the coupon last night when he asked if it was time for his orgasm. He may be able to tell me what day he has one, but he shouldn’t get to tell me the exact time. I knew he was excited so I didn’t even suggest a delay or cancellation. I may be getting better at this being in charge business, but I’m still a pushover. I did make him “suffer” through Velcro on his cock and his balls being tied up before I asked him if he had a preference for the method I used for his orgasm. Not that I was going to do what he wanted, necessarily, I just thought I’d ask. He said he’d leave it up to me. So he got one of my famous (at least in our household) blow jobs. Now he’s a happy Lion. Well, he was satisfied. He’s probably horny again by now.

Lion says he thinks twenty-one days is too long for him to wait. He knows other men wait far longer, but he’s not looking for the marathon wait times. Of course he’ll wait if I want him to, but he thinks ten days is good. Fair enough. I don’t care when he comes. We’ll have to discuss if he wants a specific date chosen again. If so, then he may go longer than ten days if he gets the punishment he’s looking for. Speaking of punishment, I made a new rule for him last night. He has to ask my permission before he can take a shower. Not that I’ll ever tell him he can’t, but I may want to take one first. He asked me last night what the punishment will be and I didn’t have an answer for him. Now I think it will be two days added to his wait time (assuming he still has a wait time).

The scheduled orgasm date is still September 30. We’ll decide if a specific date is still needed and go from there. For now, the pressure is off Lion and he should be happy for a few days before his need becomes urgent again.