Good Side / Bad Side
Things have been quiet here. Mrs. Lion has been a little under the weather and not in the mood for any sexual activity. She wrote that she wanted to spank me two days in a row. I got a yelp-producing spanking the evening before that post. Unfortunately, between writing and dinner that night, her stomach acted up, and the spanking was canceled. Since then, she has had one issue or another that prevented anything more energetic than nice snuggles. There hasn’t been much to write about. Our nutso puppy stole my Sleep Number bed remote. We can’t find it. Fortunately, we have two. Mrs. Lion and I are sharing hers while we wait for a new one to reach us.
Our dog still has bouts of rampaging around and jumping on us. We’ve tried all sorts of techniques without success. Our most recent training device sends a burst of ultrasonic sound, which is supposed to distract the dog and break into the frantic behavior. It works if she’s just doing a casual jump on the bed. It’s useless when she gets crazy. Mrs. Lion thinks we should use a shock collar. We have one that hasn’t been modified for use on me. When she proposed it, I agreed because if it works on me to work on the dog. Speaking of which, she hasn’t had me put it on in months and months. It’s been more than two years since she used it for anything other than playing Zapardy.
I guess I’m feeling a bit nostalgic about that. It was fun in a painful sort of way when she kept that on me and zapped me when she wanted my attention. It certainly is an easy way to call me. It’s also a simple way to correct me for small infractions. I wonder if it will work as well on the dog. I find the idea of being controlled erotic. I suppose that’s what is at the root of my interest in spanking. That concept turns me on.
The biggest problem with long-term domestic discipline and orgasm control is that it becomes routine. Let me be a little more specific. It becomes routine for the disciplinarian. Mrs. Lion develops disciplinary habits that result in spankings and delayed orgasms. Like any habit, it’s just a routine part of life. It’s easy to forget that at my end of the paddle (or chastity device), it’s anything but routine. I don’t think anybody gets in the “habit” of being spanked. Getting a spanking is never routine. It’s always memorable. That’s what makes it useful. However, that’s not true for the spanker. For her, it is something she has to do to support her mate’s continued good behavior. It’s anything but special.
This is also true of one-way sex. Mrs. Lion gives me sexual teasing and eventual release. It doesn’t do anything for her other than the satisfaction of pleasing me. It isn’t special for her. As with spanking, every time she arouses me, it is special. She’s awakening my most primal need. It’s this disparity that is most frustrating for me. There is no way she can tap into my feelings. This is why our communications sometimes break down.
I don’t think that we can do anything about this. From what I can learn, other couples have similar issues. The long-term disciplinary wives have similar problems with their husbands. The only way to avoid too much of a gap is to make some things routine. Our “just because” spankings fill that need. I truly hate them. But I’ve come to see that they are very useful. Each one is an event. Yes, an unpleasant event for me. That doesn’t matter. It’s an opportunity for us to connect. Even though it’s work for Mrs. Lion and miserable discomfort for me, it serves to remind us of our connection to one another. I think that we’re both more aware of each other every time I’m punished. The reason doesn’t matter. On some level, it impacts us both.
Sex is harder. I think that the big connection between partners is that they are providing one another with pleasure. Mrs. Lion gives me pleasure, but I can’t reciprocate. Unlike spanking, which does give value to both of us, one-way sex is work for her and fun for me. I’ve been thinking about this. Is there a way giving me sexual pleasure is a result of something that Mrs. Lion might enjoy? I can’t give her the orgasms that she wants. I can give her orgasms, but she doesn’t enjoy them. Is there anything else I can do that she would like? Probably not. If there is something that she would like, I’ll happily do it with or without a reward.
Discipline is a cause-and-effect activity. I do something that triggers punishment. Mrs. Lion administers it. It’s easy to support. Sex is different. It doesn’t work very well as a reward because I don’t have opportunities to earn them. If I could, then a “good boy” would be rewarded with edging or release. Certainly, that would reinforce the behavior being rewarded. I don’t think Mrs. Lion has many opportunities to single out positive behavior that way.
Too bad. There’s a certain symmetry between stimulating my penis as a reward and bruising my bottom as a punishment. It gives me a kind of good-side, bad-side situation. It would be very challenging to figure out a realistic way to implement this. If we could, it might be fun.
