As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday (“Try Try Again“), I got a “just because” spanking last night. I’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn I wasn’t really in the mood. I’m writing this on Tuesday afternoon, and, like you, I learned in her post that she would spank me again tonight. Yuck. My post (“Words and Music“) yesterday morning upset her. I can understand that. I don’t think she realizes how important activities preceding and following the main event can be.
For example, in a BDSM scene, there is usually negotiation before it starts. This includes a discussion of what’s exciting and what isn’t. Aside from the important transfer of information, it’s also a way of building suspense and anticipation. No matter how often something is done, the fanfare is needed to keep the flames of excitement alive. I don’t think Mrs. Lion realizes how important this is. That’s a little odd since women generally complain that men don’t understand how important foreplay is. They say we are “wham bam thank you ma’am” when it comes to sex. Mrs. Lion accused me of this crime when we were making love. It’s a little odd that she doesn’t understand why I find it so important now.
I’m not saying that she should give me a big buildup when she plans to spank me. After all, that’s punishment. I’m not supposed to enjoy it, and if I anticipate it, the emotion should be dread, not heat. Even when it comes to punishment, some couples have established rituals to help them set the scene. If you were spanked as a child, I’m sure there was a ritual associated with the event. It could be as simple as being sent to your room to wait for your fate. Or to remove clothing and assume the position on your bed. Whatever it was, it served to establish a specific mood.
One of the problems with practicing domestic discipline and male chastity for years and years is that events take on a sort of shorthand. The sense of drama disappears. This isn’t a bad thing, but it does eliminate some of the important emotional components. Foreplay isn’t necessarily about getting our sex organs ready to go. It’s about allowing our emotions to shift gears and prepare for sex. I’m not sure what constitutes foreplay when only one person (me) is getting sexually stimulated. I don’t think it’s as simple as snuggling. I’m not sure what it is. It just seems to me that by the time Mrs. Lion is ready to start going for the gold, I should be humping her hand (or mouth).
I have no idea how this should work. I don’t have any real experience to draw upon. Mrs. Lion has to be the initiator. Since I’m the one receiving sensation, it’s up to her to decide how much I get and when I get it. Maybe the answer is buried on one of the porn sites. There is an awful lot of stuff that is 100% about male stimulation. Knowing how I react, chances are pretty good most foreplay will feature my penis. I don’t have an awful lot of secondary sexual areas on my body. You women are very lucky that way. But my penis and balls offer a reasonably interesting playground, I suppose.
Traditionally, women have been led to believe that men are ready to go anytime. Start rubbing his cock, and he’s on the way. That’s probably true to some extent. The chances that this will work diminish as a couple has been together more and more time. After nearly 20 years, it’s unlikely that approach will have a lot of success. Mrs. Lion has the advantage that I like BDSM play. I like to bottom. So, she can do some things other than massaging my penis to get the action started. I know that she plans on stuffing a butt plug into me tonight. I don’t get all tingly when I think about it, but I’m sure it will have a positive sexual effect on me. At least, I hope it will.