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In: Punishment, Sex, Spanking

Julie, from strictjuliespanks wrote about daddy issues. She also growled about my comment regarding her taste in podcasts. We do disagree about some things. I know she gets very turned on thinking about a strict daddy figure. It’s a fun role to be that daddy. It’s about obedience, spanking, and sex. What could be bad?

There is a darker subtext. No, it isn’t about a grown woman acting out sexual daddy fantasies. I think that’s healthy and good clean fun. It’s about the other side of the coin: mommy play. I’m not referring to the practice of being an adult baby or a full-time little boy. Daddy play is just that; discreet scenes. It isn’t a lifestyle. People who enjoy power exchange generally accept this sort of play. That isn’t true of little boy play.

You could argue that when a woman spanks a man, it is a form of mommy play. Spanking, at least in our part of the world, is considered a children’s punishment. So, when Mrs. Lion spanks me, it is maternal by definition. I don’t think she sees it that way. She says that she sees it as a service. She is providing something I want. She relates to enforcing rules as a sort of game. There’s nothing wrong with that. The net result is that I get spanked if I break a rule. I’m a naughty boy. I’m not consciously living out a mommy fantasy. Mrs. Lion doesn’t see her role as my parent.

I digress. My point is that very few women think of themselves as being mommy when they spank their husbands. As Julie has written in her story, “Visiting Julie At Her Cottage,”

True to her ‘Strict Julie’ moniker, Julie unrelentingly paddled Lion’s low ass and upper thighs into a horrible hamburgered mess of scarlet red, purple, black, and white. Lion screamed on every stroke. David could see the excitement in Julie’s face, her glassy stare as she got into her zone, as she did the one thing she loved most of all: bringing unrelenting, near unbearable pain to a willing male ass.

‘When I get into this state, I can just keep going forever,’  Julie said, ‘which is why I give myself a count. Ha ha!’

While this is fiction designed to turn me on, she expresses something I’ve heard before from many women who spank men. They are sexually aroused by doing it. Why isn’t important. The fact is that they enjoy doing it and get aroused in the process. My first BDSM partner was like this. She told me that when she made me squirm, it was particularly exciting. The first thing she wanted as soon as she finished spanking me was sexual release.

Spanking is highly sexual to people of both sexes. A woman turned on by spanking her partner doesn’t need a role to blister his butt. She likes doing it. It’s irrelevant to her what fantasies he has about what she is doing to him. If he wants to imagine that she’s his mommy, she doesn’t care. If she is asked to take on that role, she might do it for the duration of the spanking but will probably not find it arousing other times.

On the other hand, playing daddy to a grown woman is very hot for many men. I’m sure there are deep psychological reasons for this. For me, at least, it’s a neat package that includes spanking and sex. I couldn’t do it for more than a scene, though. I wouldn’t want to live with a woman who wanted to be a little girl full time.

The difference between mommy and daddy play is that when a man wants his partner to be his mommy, he gives up the male role as an active partner or leader. Like it or not, we are all conditioned to believe that males should be strong, loving leaders. Women have centuries of conditioning that has trained them to like and accept this. There is a lot of conditioning to overcome when the roles are reversed.

Mrs. Lion spanks me, and she enforces her will with a paddle. The spankings are real. They aren’t sexual play. I don’t think of my role as being one of a child. I don’t want my wife to be my mommy. For the record, my mother had very little to do with me. She often said, “Childless couples are the happiest.” The last thing I want is for Mrs. Lion to be like her.

I’ve written about how real lions behave. We don’t see each other as big cats. But we have learned from their behavior. Unlike humans, lions have a more balanced kind of male/female relationship. The lionesses hold the ultimate authority in lion society. They choose to admit a lion into their pride. They allow him a lot of power. In fact, human observers believed until very recently that lions were in charge. King of beasts. Not so much.

Thanks to inexpensive, small cameras, we’ve learned that the lioness is the real boss. She may appear in the background, with the male appearing to lead the way, but closer observation reveals that isn’t true. If a lion does something a lioness dislikes, she will growl and snarl at him. If that doesn’t work, she will give him a painful bite on the rump. He never retaliates. He appears to apologize and beg forgiveness.

It’s almost like a democracy. Leaders maintain their authority with the permission of the governed. We live that way. On one level, our domestic discipline is something I want and need. Mrs. Lion accommodates it. On a deeper level, it is a tool that she can use to express her displeasure. I’m conditioned by all of the spankings I get for minor offenses to accept punishment from my wife unquestioningly. She doesn’t need a reason to spank me. Well, I don’t need to accept or even know the reason. When she wants to punish me, I present myself for discipline—no questions or arguments. I may be stronger, but I can’t resist any more than that lion who has a bleeding bite on his rump.

Sex isn’t involved. Neither of us wants it after I am punished. A hug might be nice, but I rarely get that. My lioness did what had to be done. Period. She works hard to make my spanking as unpleasant as possible. That’s what I said I want. I do. It isn’t roleplay. It’s something different. Is it maternal? I don’t think so, but if you believe that only a mommy or daddy spanks, then I suppose it is. Mrs. Lion and I don’t think so.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments

This morning the dog had a big seizure. When I went to get her rescue medicine, I realized we only had one syringe. Sometimes it takes two to bring her out of it. We probably needed the second today because she has been refusing to take her medicine. No matter what I try to hide it in, she refuses. We even got hot dogs. I only managed to get her pain pills in her yesterday. Clearly, she needs the seizure meds too. We’re hoping I can make the 30 miles run to pick up more of the rescue meds tomorrow.

I still have a lot of chores to do. I didn’t get many done yesterday. We ran to Costco for food and Safeway for prescriptions. I managed to steal a few hours here and there for myself. Today I’m worried about the dog. I have laundry to do. The bed needs changing, Lion needs waxing, etc., etc. Of course, none of these are insurmountable. It’s just always something. Do you know how you lie awake in bed thinking about all the things you didn’t get done? Yeah. Every night.

Pre dog seizure, I was reading something on Facebook about creative punishments people remember from their childhoods. One of them might work for us. The “punishee” spins an old game spinner, and that determines what the punishment will be. My first thought was that Lion would be the master of his own demise. He’d be choosing what would happen to him. I could have plausible deniability. I do anyway, of course. I’m not punishing him because I did something wrong. If he doesn’t want to be punished, he shouldn’t break the rules. (I’m leaving out the “just because” spankings.) The problem, as Lion pointed out, is that spanking works very well for us. If we implement this idea, it would be for the desserts like standing in the corner. I’m still deciding if this is something I want to do.

I’m off to turn on the wax. I can do the rest of the chores in the three hours it takes the wax to be ready.

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In: Spanking, Sex
This spreadsheet records every orgasms I’ve had since January 2016.

Before starting this blog, I had no real interest in tracking my activities. For the first two years, Mrs. Lion and I often debated how long it had been since my last orgasm. Since we write a male chastity blog, it made sense to keep a record so that there would be an easy way to answer them if questions come up. In January 2016, I created a spreadsheet that let me record each time Mrs. Lion got me off. I’ve faithfully maintained it ever since.

Over the years, I’ve published summaries of this data. Many men who are under orgasm control find these statistics fascinating. I don’t share that interest so far as other men are concerned. I’m obviously interested in my own data. There have been trends in my wait times. Most of them are due to issues in my life that made sex difficult. After the first year or two, Mrs. Lion settled into a seven-to-fourteen-day wait for me. Apparently, she considers that adequate satisfaction for her mate.

Obviously, I don’t get a vote regarding this pattern. I’m not supposed to. I’m not complaining. After all these years, I’m used to this control. It’s the way things are in our marriage. I can get aroused all I want, but no ejaculation. We don’t consider this exotic or kinky. It’s just the way things are.

This widget in the right column of this website tracks how long its been since my last orgasm and spanking.

We also practice domestic discipline. If I break a rule–we don’t have many–I am punished. Mrs. Lion spanks me. I haven’t maintained a record of when I get spanked or the offense that earned me punishment. However, I have a clock on this website (right column) that tracks the time since my last spanking and why I earned it. Mrs. Lion has no problem remembering why she punished me but often forgets how long ago she spanked me.

This turns out to be important. If too much time goes by between spankings, I forget why I want to avoid one, and Mrs. Lion becomes less observant of my behavior. It’s obvious why I would start to forget how unhappy a spanking makes me. After all, I’m turned on at the thought of being spanked. That’s balanced by the painful reality of Mrs. Lion’s paddles. Her loss of observational interest is interesting.

My theory is that since she considers observing my infractions as a sort of game when we don’t “play,” that is, observe an infraction and spank me. I think she forgets she is playing. Every time she paddles me, it reminds her to be on her toes, looking for new reasons to blister my bottom. It’s these reasons why I get “just because” spankings. To avoid these problems, Mrs. Lion will spank me if more than a couple of weeks go by without blistering my bottom. She decides exactly when to administer a “just because” spanking.

Like orgasm wait times, Mrs. Lion can lose track of the interval since my last spanking.  We have a timer in the right column that tracks how many days since my last beating. According to that timer,  as of Saturday, it’s been 17 days. I imagine she hasn’t checked out our site. I’m probably due now. For the record, I am absolutely NOT looking forward to it—poor me.

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In: Edging, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Orgasm denial

The other night, I took on the freezer to clear ice blocking the drain on the bottom. By the time I was done, my right shoulder had hurt, and I had a rather large bruise on my left palm. Plus, I’d been crawling around on the floor, so my legs and back were unhappy. After I took a shower, I didn’t want to do anything else. Yesterday, I took advantage of the last sunny day for a while and mowed the strip of grass that was left. It took about twenty minutes and added to my step count for the week. I was sweaty and needed a break. Just before I’d gone to mow the lawn, our new TV audio/video receiver arrived. For whatever reason, the old one decided to stop pushing sound out to all but the right front speaker, so we had to replace it. After about an hour’s rest, I tackled installing it. What fun!

Despite all of the chores and all the crawling around on the floor, I still found the energy to play with Lion last night. He was hard almost from the second I touched him. That was a big clue he was horny. The other was that he was out from under the blankets. I used my hand for a little bit and then asked if he’d like to be sucked. He’s only turned me down a handful of times when I’ve asked that. I knew he wouldn’t last night.

Even though he was hard, I still took my time. I didn’t want him to accuse me of rushing. Besides, I wanted to get him all hot and bothered. On one of my breaks from sucking him, I noticed his wait time was 13 days. I know. It’s not the longest wait on record. We were averaging a seven-day wait, I think. Then Lion started having some trouble maintaining erections and/or getting turned on. I think our average then went to something like fourteen days. Some men like to wait a long time. We’ve never really played it that way. When I took control over Lion’s orgasms, I never really thought about making him wait a long time. I saw it as my decision to allow him to come when I wanted him to come. Whatever day we’re on, if I want him to have an orgasm, he should have an orgasm. Three-day wait? Let’s do it. Seven-day wait? Yes, please. Four days? Bring it. It has little to do with when he wants one.

Of course, that’s not true. I can’t compel him to have an orgasm if he’s not cooperative. There are times he’d love to have an orgasm, and my weenie doesn’t cooperate. Sometimes I’ve been able to “take” an orgasm. By that, I mean he’s not necessarily horny, but I can be persistent and rub one out of him. Now I’ve modified my control of Lion’s orgasms to be when I want him to have an orgasm, he has an orgasm… as long as his body is able.

Thankfully, he was horny enough and hard enough last night to be edged a few times before I gave him an orgasm. I tasted precum on the first edging and more on the way to the finish line when I got a nice amount of cream filling. I won’t say it’s the most I’ve ever gotten, but it’s the most I’ve gotten in a while. Much to Lion’s dismay (Not!), I didn’t share any with him. It’s mine, and he can’t have it. But there’s always next time.