We talked a little bit yesterday about what I wanted Lion to do rather than just lay there. The problem is, I don’t know. He said he’s sort of stuck in position by the bed. Our Sleep Number bed isn’t as bad as sinking into a memory foam mattress, which left us feeling like turtles stuck on our backs, but it tends to keep you in place. I’m not even sure I was thinking about him moving anywhere. I think it was more of an attention thing. With the TV on (not muted, not paused), I guess I felt like he was distracted. That’s one reason I hate spending so much time in bed. We’re just always there. I feel like I’m competing for TV time and whatever else is going on. I also wonder if Lion would be snoozing so much if we watched TV in the living room.

Regardless of that, I moved over to snuggle and started playing with my weenie. He was responding, but he wasn’t getting quite as hard as I would have liked. When I sat up to play with him, I really didn’t want to use my hand. We’ve been experimenting to see if I can still edge him with my hand. In the back of my mind, I thought it was the best of both worlds. If I can give him an orgasm by hand, I have the option of keeping it for myself or making Lion eat it. He hates it, so obviously, it’s something I do from time to time. However, I miss sucking him. I shared that with Lion, and he graciously suggested I should do it. What a guy! I mean, what a nightmare having a woman suck your cock.

I managed to edge him at least three times. He was very close for two of them. Then he sort of lost it. I think it still felt good, but he wasn’t as hard. Unwilling to give up on him, I kept going. I thought maybe I could revive him. He doesn’t always stop. Sometimes I’ve just let him come down too much, and more sucking gets him hard again. Not this time. I asked if he was broken. He said he wasn’t, but we weren’t getting anywhere. Then my arm started to fall asleep. You know, once that happens, it’s very hard to get that tingling to stop. But I had to.

I don’t know how long it has been since I edged Lion. I don’t even know how long it’s been since I sucked him. I think I’ll continue to prime the pump with my hand and follow up with my mouth. It seems to work best for both of us.

[Lion — I’m sure I will regret this comment. If Mrs. Lion wants to feed me semen and she is using her mouth, she can kiss it to me after I have come.]

Lion was lamenting the fact that he hasn’t had any full hand jobs in a while. No, he wasn’t exactly lamenting because he gets more than his share of blow jobs, but he is correct in that I haven’t been able to get him much further than an erection by hand. I set out to try and change that last night.

I can usually get him hard. Sometimes I can get him very hard. It all depends on how horny he is and if I’m doing it “correctly”. There never used to be a problem, but now, unless I hold him a certain way, we don’t get very far. I assume it also depends on whether I’ve tied him up or used clothespins or some other torture device. The more turned on he is, the better shot I have at getting him hard. Duh!

I won’t say a blow job guarantees victory. He’s remained stubbornly soft quite a few times. It’s not that he does it on purpose. It’s probably the same reasons he doesn’t get hard for hand jobs. The difference is after he gets an erection. Then a blow job has a higher degree of success.

When I suck him, I tend to close my eyes. I think I can concentrate more on his noises and if he changes motion or hardness. Plus, the scenery isn’t the most exciting. When I give him a hand job, I either close my eyes for the same reason or I stare off into space. I’m still concentrating but the scenery is different. The problem with doing this when I’m jerking him off is that I sometimes change my grip without realizing it. Plus, Lion can see me and it may look like I’m bored. Not bored. Concentrating.

Neither of those tactics worked last night. I don’t know if I’ve just lost my touch giving him a hand job or if I’ve spoiled him too much with blow jobs. What guy would want a hand job instead of a blow job? Now I’m left with a dilemma. Do I continue to see if I can regain the ability to edge him manually or do I go back to the tried and true blow jobs? I know he’s been conditioned to only having sex on his back. Have I conditioned him to only want blow jobs?

On the other hand, last night was just four days after his last orgasm. Is that enough time for an experiment? Can he possibly be horny enough to make the assumption that hand jobs don’t work? Well, he can be horny enough. He has been in the past. However, I don’t think I’m ready to throw in the towel just yet. I’ll keep trying hand jobs. I may mix some blow jobs in, but I’ll stick to hand jobs to continue the experiment.

I was punished on Wednesday night. It was a very painful spanking. I suppose it wasn’t worse than the other recent paddlings I’ve received. Maybe I block out how much it hurts as time goes by. It hurt to sit on Thursday. I don’t expect you to feel sorry for me. I’m doing it enough for both of us. I was spanked for annoying Mrs. Lion on Tuesday.

This is the first time she spanked me for upsetting her. In her post yesterday, she said,

“Lion may be sorry. He wanted me to punish him for things that annoy me. Apparently, I’ve been letting a lot of things go. He may never be able to sit down comfortably again.”

That sounds like the wind will be blowing from a new direction. If Mrs. Lion is serious about this, my behavior will change. It may take a lot of spankings to do it, but if she consistently persists, I will learn. When she resolves to do something, she can be relentless. That’s what it takes to train me. We both know it. Only time will tell if Mrs. Lion is going to put her paddle where her post is.

Wednesday night was memorable for another reason. Mrs. Lion decided to give me an orgasm. It had been 11 days since the last one. She gave me oral sex. I love how that feels. The orgasm control clock is reset, and I count the days until my next chance to ejaculate. After more than eight years of this, I’ve forgotten what it is like to have sex on demand.

I’m not complaining. What we are doing works well for us. I admit that during my spanking, I wanted to end being punished. I hated the spanking so much that I wondered if we could stop domestic discipline. Of course, I didn’t ask Mrs. Lion to stop. She wouldn’t agree if I did. I know that what we are doing is good for both of us. I’m supposed to hate being punished. I’m also supposed to long for the ability to ejaculate anytime I want. I’m not supposed to get my way.

We finished up the last of the blueberry jam last night. It was only two batches. I threw a frozen lasagna in the oven while we worked. By the time we were done, the food was done. Perfect timing.

Lion was awake when I got home. When I went to get things ready for the jam, he fell asleep. When I woke him, he thought it was morning. Mmm. That would have been nice—twelve hours of sleep. We can dream. The puppy decided that she’ll bark in the middle of the night instead of whining. Have we been sleeping through her whines? We certainly can’t sleep through barking. I took her out at 4. She did her thing. I don’t think she did anything at 11 before bed. When she barked at 5, I told her to calm down. There’s no reason to get up again so soon. At 6, Lion and I both woke up when she barked. I need puppy energy. Actually, I need all the naps she gets. Maybe then I’d be wider awake during the day.

Before my shower, I told Lion I was too tired to spank him. Unsurprisingly, he wasn’t disappointed. He wants to be spanked until it’s time to be spanked. I feel bad for putting it off again, but there’s no way I would have been able to give him an effective spanking anyway. I wanted to spank him. The mind was willing even if the body wasn’t.

One thing I knew I had to do was play with my weenie. I had no idea if Lion was horny. He said he was the other day, but that was the other day. Things change. Not this thing on this particular night. He was looking for love. Once I got my weenie all revved up, I asked if Lion could move over for oral sex. Unsurprisingly again, he said he could do it. I set about sucking him, and he was very interested.

I don’t know how long it was because I forgot to set a timer until I have a mouthful of Lion, but he was very interested in a short time. I was tickling his balls. He loves that. Soon he was making happy noises. I got him oh-so-close and stopped. Poor Lion. I was so sad for him that I did it again. I considered giving him an orgasm, but then I decided he really hadn’t waited that long. And we haven’t played since his last one. Why would I give him one so soon when I can play with my food? The last time I sucked him, I didn’t even let him get to the edge. I’m sure it felt good, but it was not close at all. That was by design. I didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of getting oh-so-close again.

Satisfaction? How can it be satisfaction when he didn’t get to come? Well, getting to the edge is its own satisfaction sometimes. I haven’t really been able to edge him in a long time. He’s been losing his erection mid-suck. When I have managed to get him to the edge, I don’t have the heart to “just” edge him. I go all the way as sort of a reward for making it that far.

Last night seemed different, though. He got there more quickly. I hadn’t done any foreplay other than jerking him off for a bit. I did play with him with my mouth before I actually started sucking. I don’t know if it was that or just in the non-slump portion of his sexual cycle. Whatever it was, I figured I’d take advantage of it. Maybe this time around, I can get him super horny and frustrated. Fingers crossed.