It rains a lot here. Then, around July 4, it stops raining. Well, it stops raining as much. The problem is, in the spring, it rains and rains and rains, and before you know it, the lawn is out of control. In order to mow it, it needs to be dry. Fat chance with it raining all the time. The dog’s lawn grows faster. I don’t want to lose her in the jungle. I decided if I couldn’t mow, I’d hit it with the weed wacker. Luckily, it was dry enough to do it today. Most of it. There’s a small patch I just couldn’t do. I crapped out.

Lion always grumbles when I go to mow the lawn. He says he doesn’t want me to wear myself out. I hear this as, “If you’re tired, I won’t get attention.” That’s probably not what he means. I grumble when I go to mow the lawn because I don’t want to mow the damn lawn. I don’t like being tired and out of breath. However, I know it will get better as the summer goes on. I just need to get my bones moving. If I’d been moving all along, it wouldn’t be so bad.

I tried to give Lion a blow job last night. Depending on what you consider a blow job, I did more than try. I felt bad because I had to stop after a while. I don’t know how long it was. I just know my arm was going numb. I keep going as long as possible because I want him to enjoy himself. When I stopped, I asked if he was close. He wasn’t. I guess that’s less of a disappointment. He was soft when I started. I love feeling him get hard in my mouth. And he did get hard. However, he didn’t stay hard. He didn’t completely lose it, but it wasn’t as hard as it was. Sometimes I stop because it seems he’s losing it, only for him to say he wasn’t.

I’m not sure what we’ll try tonight. Maybe I can tie his balls up and release them before we get too far into it. I don’t want to distract him.

I am battling with the Roomba this morning. It doesn’t want to charge. We had this problem not too long ago, and I was able to work some kind of magic to get it going again. Sadly, I seem to have lost my touch. I changed the battery. Nothing. Pushed buttons. Nothing. It’s pushing my buttons, I can tell you that. I’ll try again later.

Speaking of factory reset, Lion needed one last night. He was horny for the first time in a while. [Lion — 17 days!] I asked if he wanted the whole nine yards or just a blow job. He opted for the blow job. He didn’t think he could handle the whole nine yards. Fair enough. I always love giving him a blow job.

The first thing I did was bury my face in his balls. I haven’t done that in a long time. He was warm from being under the covers. Then I started my assault on his weenie. He responded right off the bat. A little while in, I thought he was going to lose it. I kept going, though. I knew it might take a while. Long after my arms had started to go numb, he got somewhat urgent. He even started bucking. I did my best to match his thrusts. He doesn’t usually do that.

When he came, I got a bunch of cream filling. It was probably twice what I have been getting. I don’t know if he needs to wait 17 days in order to have a huge orgasm or what, but he certainly had one. Maybe there’s something to the Ozempic decreasing his libido. He took some more today. I guess we’ll see what happens all week. If he’s horny again on Friday, maybe he’s on to something.

For another night, we didn’t do anything. Lion said he wasn’t interested. He thinks he’s broken again. I think it’s been too many days of not doing anything that lulls his body into hibernation. If I drag out the massage table, I bet I can get him going.

I wanted to give him a blow job. The massage table isn’t conducive to that. However, there’s no reason we can’t use the massage table for the warm up and then move into the bedroom for the main attraction. He might lose a little mojo moving from one room to the other, but if he’s really horny I should be able to get him going again.

There’s no football game this weekend. That means Saturday’s punishment swats can go on as they should. It’s been a while since we’ve done them. His buns have been consumed with football swats for quite a few weeks. Plus, he had a real punishment not too long ago. Of course, he could always use a spanking even if there’s no reason for it. That just gives him extra practice. Oh, and it keeps him in line.

We had a strange week. Neither of us had any idea what day it was yesterday. I thought it was Wednesday. Lion thought it was Friday. Neither of us really have anything going on to help keep track of things. One day just blends into the next. I think my confusion came from going to my meeting on Tuesday. I don’t know what happened with Lion. Today, we’re on the same page. It’s Friday and we’re heading into the weekend.

lion sleeping on his back

Lion wasn’t interested in sex last night. We didn’t do Spankardy because I didn’t have the new rules committed to memory yet. Earlier in the evening he said he was tired. I assumed he was too tired for sex. Too tired for oral sex? I guess so, although later on he said he wasn’t tired anymore. Oh well. There’s always tonight.

The thought occurred to me as I was about to type “Spankardy” that we used to play Zapardy as well. It’s a similar game except it uses the shock collar rather the spanking. We haven’t done that in a while. We haven’t used the shock collar much at all. Maybe we’ll have to fix that. I’m sure he could use a nice zap once in a while.

Our diets are going well. I’ve eaten more fruit in the past few weeks than I have in the past few years. I went to the store yesterday and walked past all my favorite aisles to get to produce. I walked past candy. I walked past the Valentine’s section with candy. Did we pick a stupid time to start a diet? Valentine’s Day, the Super Bowl. What were we thinking? We even got a visit from a cute little Girl Scout selling cookies. Yes, I checked the calorie count. It’s actually not too bad. A serving size is about 150 calories which is what most of our snacks are. The only problem is that a serving size is two or three cookies. Yeah, right! If I could stop at two or three cookies I wouldn’t look like this.

Lion misses going out to eat. We talked about having a cheat day. The problem I had with it is that we don’t want the same thing. I’ve been thinking about a big breakfast with an omelet and bacon. Lion was thinking of dinner. Then we talked about having pork chops or steak on Saturday. We’ve been splitting one regular size pork chop or steak for a while. Our downfall will be the baked potato slathered in butter. Plus, we already built in a cheat day for Super Bowl Sunday. Maybe we should just hold out till then.