By:
In: Orgasm denial, Mrs Lion Comments

Last night, as we were falling asleep, Lion said something about having an orgasm. I reminded him it’s only been a few days. He said it didn’t matter. Huh? I’m sure he was being playful. I don’t really think he wants an orgasm so soon. Right? Right. Am I sure? I don’t know. He wanted to wait longer. But that was the last time. Is it different now? I don’t know. [Lion comments — Nothing’s changed. I was just being silly.]

Yes, this is the internal conversation in my head this morning. I’m never quite sure what Lion wants. Was 20 days too long? Was it too short? Did it work fine for last time, but this time should be different? I mean, I know he doesn’t always want to wait 20 days, but should it be shorter this time? Should I throw in a four day wait? Six? The one thing I’m positive about is that he wants me to decide. But if that’s true, then he would have been happy with the length of time I made him wait prior to his last wait. Clearly, if he was then he wouldn’t have voiced a preference for a longer wait. Clearly, I’m indecisive.

I don’t normally have a set wait length in mind. I try to base it on what Lion tells me. By this I don’t mean what he actually tells me. Even when I have him panting and humping air, he won’t even play along when I ask if he wants to come. Sometimes I think it would be fun to have him very frustrated, aching to come, and ask him if he wants to come only to tell him he can’t. But he never plays along. [Lion comments — I have played along. The trouble is that every time I do, Mrs. Lion gives me an orgasm if I say I want one. Of course, that’s nice, but I want her to decide. If I play along, then she has to play along too.]

He’s no fun sometimes. I usually wait until he’s at that stage and I push him a few days further before I give him an orgasm. That’s if I’m lucky. Sometimes pushing him those extra few days puts him right in the middle of his doldrums and I have to wait longer. It’s a balancing act between his wanting it and his not thinking he’s going to get it and his actually getting it. Bottom line: I like to surprise him.

Obviously, surprising him doesn’t always work. He said he thought I was going to do it the other night and he was right. Even I didn’t know I was going to do it. Apparently I surprised myself more than I did him. That’s okay. I like some surprises.

By:
In: Punishment, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

Based on our posts, it would be easy to get the impression that Mrs. Lion and I discuss male chastity, FLR, and domestic discipline constantly. In fact, it doesn’t come up very often at all. There really isn’t a lot to talk about. She likes to hear if I am horny and if it hurts to sit after a spanking. Beyond that, everything is either understood or doesn’t need my input.

I like talking about these topics. Being the target/object of all the activities, I like the feeling of participation I get when we discuss them. Mrs. Lion indulges me sometimes, but clearly sees no need for conversation. I know my explicit rules. I also understand that I need to be respectful to Mrs. Lion. That’s not rocket science and doesn’t need analysis.

If I break a rule or otherwise commit an offense, Mrs. Lion will let me know I will be punished. Again, I don’t need any more information. I can ask what I did to earn the punishment. Mrs. Lion will tell me. I certainly shouldn’t ask when she plans to spank me. She’ll let me know when she is ready. I don’t need any further instruction. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to have a longer conversation about it. But that is just my desire to talk about a favorite subject.

One thing I have asked Mrs. Lion to do is to treat spanking me as just another needed task. I don’t think it should be special or require any more of her time than it takes to administer it. The other day that’s exactly what she did. She didn’t care about earlier conversations about which paddle has what effect. According to her, she just selected one she thought would hurt me (they all do!) and then spanked me with the single objective of causing me pain and hopefully having me continue to feel that pain for a day or more later. That was it.

When she finished, she just told me that she was done and put her paddle away. That’s it. Not another word. She didn’t solicit feedback about how much it hurt. She didn’t offer to tell me much about the condition of my bottom beyond noting there were just a few blood spots. My skin tends to split a little during a spanking. There are no visible sores or scabs. A little blood appears. This bleeding doesn’t signal a bruise or other lasting mark. Mrs. Lion has learned to ignore it.

This rather impersonal approach to punishing me has an effect. It makes me realize that spanking is the inevitable result of an offense. There is no BDSM component. Mrs. Lion is not emotional about it. It’s her job to punish me and she does it. She isn’t interested in how I like it. She wants to hurt me enough to think twice about repeating the offense. My only input was when I managed to get into trouble. After that, it is clear that I have absolutely no input.

She knows when to lock me up

While we aren’t quite there yet, the same is true about wearing a male chastity device. Mrs. Lion is starting to let me know that she doesn’t need me to tell her if I am wild. In the past, she would forget to lock me up after play. Unless I reminded her that I was wild, I could stay unlocked for a day or more. Now, she remembers and tells me when to put the base ring on. A little later she locks me into my cage. No input from me is required.

I like this. I tend to overshare and try to participate in things that don’t require my input. Apparently lioness 4.0 has no need to hear from me. I suppose the next logical step is to punish me if I stick my nose in where it isn’t wanted. I get the feeling she is thinking along those lines. I’m not going to ask her. I’m not that stupid.

By:
In: Games, Erections, Orgasm denial

I think we need to think about a scoring change for Spankardy. Currently, Lion gets two swats for a wrong answer and one if he fails to answer at all. Additionally, he can wager swats for Daily Doubles and Final Jeopardy. He did answer a lot of questions right, but he only wound up with 50 swats. That’s hardly worth breaking out the paddle. Lion did suggest adding swats for an incorrect answer for Daily Doubles and Final Jeopardy. However, how do I keep the smarty pants from answering so many questions correctly?

It stands to reason it will even out over time. He’s bound to hit more categories he doesn’t like. I’m not sure how often we’ll play. We could either plan on a specific night per week or play it by ear like we’ve been doing. Of course, it’s all for fun. Lion likes to be spanked and this gives him an opportunity to get non-punishment swats.

I gave Lion the option of playing or not playing last night. Many times, he’s uninterested for a few days after an orgasm. I don’t want him to feel pressured. He was hard fairly quickly. And he stayed hard for quite a while after I started sucking him. I thought he might even start bucking a little bit, but I guess it was just his way of telling me it felt good. I think it was about ten minutes later when he told me he was done.

The fact that he was hard almost immediately is a step in the right direction. I can’t say it proves my cage theory. I can’t point to any specific reason for it. It just happened. Obviously I’m not going to let him roam wild just because I can’t say the cage did it. I’m sure it helps. Knowing you can’t get hard goes a long way toward making you want to get hard. I never wanted spicy food so much as after I was diagnosed with an ulcer many years ago and told to avoid spicy food. It stands to reason my weenie would want to get hard while locked away.

The question now is how long do I want to make him wait this time? Twenty days again? Ten? Thirty? The possibilities are endless.

By:
In: Domestic discipline, Lion's Journal, Punishment

Evolution can almost go on unnoticed. This is as true in relationships as it is in nature. In nature, most evolution fails. The latest mutation isn’t viable. Eventually, one will be superior in some way. If it breeds true, the species moves forward. If the environment changes and no positive evolution occurs, extinction is the inevitable result.

The same is true when it comes to human behavior. In our case it is kink. Introducing something new like domestic discipline represents a behavioral mutation. In order for it to succeed, it has to coexist with the environment of the relationship. Initially, it was a sexually-motivated fantasy of mine. I love the idea of physical control. When we started I had never experienced it. The idea of being spanked for doing something wrong was very hot to me.

This was the genesis, the initial behavioral mutation that began domestic discipline for us. I proposed it to Mrs. Lion and she agreed to try it. At that stage, it was extremely fragile. She was uncomfortable punishing me and my vision was very unrealistic. Neither of us had a clue about punishment.

Mrs. Lion created a few simple, easy-to-break rules, and off we went. It was very artificial at first. It was more of a BDSM scene. If I showed the slightest unhappiness at being spanked, Mrs. Lion stopped. She defined her role in terms of making me happy. I wanted to be punished, so she accommodated me. I think you’ll agree that it couldn’t go on like this for very long.

In fact, it did. Mrs. Lion learned to be an eagle-eyed observer of my behavior. I agreeably got into position for spanking each time she caught me breaking a rule. Her spankings became more severe. All this happened slowly. It became a habit for both of us. Fortunately, this pattern worked for us. I can’t say it was fun, but it wasn’t something we wanted to avoid either. The rules were simple and each time I broke one Mrs. Lion spanked me.

As the spankings became more painful, I worked harder to avoid earning them. I can’t claim that was a conscious decision. It wasn’t. Evolution. Both of us wrote about our experiences here. I think that helped us evolve. I knew that these changes had taken place. I didn’t fully understand the extent until Monday night.

I had forgotten to remind Mrs. Lion that last Thursday was punishment day. When I pointed that out (Yes, I do confess when I realize I break a rule), Mrs. Lion said I earned punishment. Between lack of sleep and other mundane things, Mrs. Lion didn’t spank me until Monday night. She told me to get into position. I can’t tell you how little I wanted to be spanked. It was something I absolutely wanted to avoid. Nevertheless, I got into position.

rubber tawse

Without a word, Mrs. Lion began paddling me. She didn’t stop until I was screaming into the bed and some small blood spots had appeared on my bottom. She used one of the rubber paddles. They sting horribly. I can still feel it a day later. The revelation occurred to me much later. We had evolved again.

First of all, Mrs. Lion spanked me as a routine chore she had to do. It had no emotional content that I could detect. She didn’t seem interested in my reactions. She had her own idea of what she wanted to accomplish. She wanted it to hurt and keep on hurting. She definitely didn’t want me to like it. I didn’t.

Her approach is a fully sustainable model of her role as my disciplinary wife. She is a force like gravity. Break a rule and she will punish me. There is no possibility she won’t. That’s what I wanted. Now I have it. It’s no fun and it isn’t arousing. It also isn’t going to go away. That’s the thing about evolution; a successful mutation will thrive.

There is one area that hasn’t seemed to evolve, at least with lioness 3.0: punishment for annoying her. With all the progress we have made as a disciplinary couple, the transition to more subjective offenses and punishment has been very slow in coming. 3.0 did spank me a couple of times for interrupting or acting like a know-it-all. She hasn’t shown the consistent observation and punishment she’s applied to my simpler set of rules.

I know this is much more difficult for her. I suspect a change is coming. 4.0 showed herself the other night when we played. She made sure I kept feeling the burn from her menthol rub after it started to wear off. That is a brand new behavior. I sensed a difference on Monday night when she spanked me. She was emotionless when she punished me. I don’t remember that level of detachment before. I may be wrong. It could be something else, but I felt a difference. Even the beating felt a little different. I can’t explain it other than to say I hated it more than usual. It could be that lioness 4.0 is the next step in our evolution. If so, things might be more difficult for me when she arrives.