Sometimes spanking is part of a game. These games aren’t particularly fair. It’s never a question of being able to avoid the paddle, just how badly my bottom will be spanked. One of our more popular pastimes is our NFL game. The rules are simple. I get three swats for every point scored by either team. I get an additional three swats if our quarterback is sacked.

Obviously, I can’t escape unpaddled. In a typical game, the final score might be 28 to 21. The total number of points is 49. That represents 147 swats. If our quarterback is sacked once, that’s an additional three swats, bringing the total to 150. Mrs. Lion administers them at the end of the game. Depending on her mood, I could end up with a pink bottom or one with blisters. We agreed that I should fear touchdowns. It makes the game more fun.

Games like this offer suspense and tension (for me). I find them arousing, at least until the final whistle blows. Then, I start to worry. That’s the fun of the game. The stakes are real. Each touchdown is 21 swats with a paddle. Mrs. Lion is very accomplished at paddling my bottom.

In the past, the swats were administered during the commercials after each touchdown. Mrs. Lion didn’t like having to move around so much during the game. The in-game paddling was worse for me. My bottom burned between touchdowns, and each fresh set of swats was administered on my already-sore butt. In a way, it was like a three-hour spanking. From my perspective, that scoring method worked better. Maybe Mrs. Lion will be willing to try again.

If she keeps me on my knees when she swats me, each stroke hurts much more and makes the stakes even higher. The higher the stakes, the more exciting the game. Another way to spice things up is to change the number of swats per point. Our current value is three. Let’s say that is the minimum. Maybe we need enhancements that would increase this number. There are some interesting possibilities. For example, Mrs. Lion can add one swat per point/sack for each season loss our team has. As of now, the Giants are 6 and 1. That means the per-point/sack swats would go from three to four. That will certainly raise my enthusiasm for a win.

Another enhancement that would strike terror into my heart would be to raise the swat value each time our quarterback is sacked. If Mrs. Lion adopts this, two things would happen. If my base for the game is four (three plus another for the Giant’s loss), and our quarterback is sacked, the number goes to five for the sack and every point scored after the sack. Also, I would be owed make-up swats for the score before the sack. So, if the total score were 14 to 7 at the time of the sack, I would get five swats for the sack and 21 swats to make up for the score before the sack. Scary!

I admit that this seems complicated, but if the swats are administered as the events happen, it isn’t complicated. What do you think, Mrs. Lion?

I decided before we sat down to watch football that I didn’t want to play our football game. It’s a good thing. The Giants lost. They looked horrible. Not only that, but the quarterback was sacked a few times. Spanking on top of the loss would have added insult to injury. I guess that’s always a risk. Did I have some premonition about the game? Nope. Based on the win-loss record, our team should have won. However, I did think it was going to be a struggle. Most of the other teams they’ve played have had worse records, and our team barely won. I don’t know what made me not want to play the game, but I bet Lion is happy about it. [Lion — Yes I am!]

I spent the morning trying to figure out flights, hotel, and rental car for a trip in December to see my son graduate as a physician’s assistant. He’s in the army, and he’ll almost immediately be shipped off to Hawaii for the remainder of his training. I know. The sacrifices he has to make. Sunshine. Surfing. It’s terrible, but he and his wife are strong. They can handle it.

Yesterday, I wrote about Lion’s new rule. I haven’t figured out exactly how to apply it. Do all comments count? There was a lady on The Price is Right whose boobs bounced when she ran down from her seat. It looked like she’d knock herself out. Was I wrong to say that? Would Lion be wrong to say it? These kinds of rules bother me. It’s a judgment call. Who am I to judge? If I wait for Lion to really piss me off, then I tend to be too pissed off to want to do anything about it. It’s stupid, I know. Of course, this means he goes unpunished. I may be better off with the rule about leaving the kitchen light on. That requires less judgment. It’s either on or off.

[Lion — Is the kitchen light a rule? Yes, it’s easier to enforce. The other rule is more challenging but also more useful for both of us. My answer to Mrs. Lion’s question about how to enforce any rule is to punish any infraction no matter how small. There’s no other way either of us will learn.]

Last weekend I wrote that we’d play our football spanking game. The problem was that we wanted to change the rules and we hadn’t up to that point. The other night in the shower I was thinking about it. Should it be a certain number of swats or a certain number of minutes? The way we’d done it in the past was swats per point and per sack against our quarterback. We’ve tried it at the end of the game and during the game. I thought it should be after. Lion, not surprisingly, disagreed. My thinking was that having the swats all at once would give me a chance to warm up a bit before the hard swats happen. If he gets a few swats here and a few swats there, they’ll all be hard. He says once the first swats happen, he’s warmed up anyway.

Last night we set up the new football game swats parameters. We thought two swats per point was too low. It will now be three swats per point. When our quarterback gets sacked, he’ll get three swats. We’ve never considered fumbles as spankable. When we set the sack rule, it was because our quarterback didn’t seem to understand that the other team was coming after him. He’d fumble a lot too, but we never made the rule. Obviously, and the NFL rulebook is a prime example, rules change all the time. Maybe we’ll decide fumble swats are needed. For now, those are the rules.

The other night, maybe Friday, I was snuggling with Lion and I saw the whiteboard where he keeps track of days since his last orgasm. It showed five. I asked about it, but I don’t think he heard me. It couldn’t have been five at that point. I think the most it could have been is two or three depending on how he figures it. Now that he’s done editing his book, and yes I still have to read it, maybe he’ll be ready for some fun. At the very least, he’ll have some swats to get his motor running.

I am a sucker when it comes to giving Lion orgasms. I mean that both literally and figuratively. I want him to have orgasms. And I want to suck him. This works out wonderfully for Lion. He is more than happy to indulge me.

We still didn’t do any BDSM. I’m not sure Lion minds that for now. He’s just happy to be getting attention. Once I get myself back in that mode, we can branch out to BDSM. I’m not falling for the trap of him not being interested in sex the day after an orgasm. I’ll snuggle over close to him later and let my hand scope out the horniness level. If he responds, we’ll go from there. If he doesn’t, at least I got to feel him up.

At some point today, I’ll look for the Box O’Fun. For now, I want to remove the anal play cards. We haven’t done it consistently and I don’t think it’s fair for me to start jamming things in him if he’s not ready. I’ll check out all the cards to make sure they’re things we can do. I don’t remember what’s on every card. We should still have enough to make things interesting. If not, we can add more.

Yesterday, Lion didn’t set up the coffee pot. Oh, boy! He’s in trouble! Nah. We changed the filters in our reverse osmosis setup and neither one of us thought to fill the coffee pot before we drained the system. When we were done, we had to fill it and drain it a few times to get the filters activated and the hoses cleaned out. We decided I’d put the coffee pot together this morning. It’s no big deal. There were extenuating circumstances that kept him from doing it before 5. He wound up doing it before bed anyway because he didn’t want me to have to deal with it. Was he trying to earn points for the next time he forgets something? I don’t know. I’ve never said he could bank good will toward future transgressions.

[Lion — I’m not that devious. I didn’t want Mrs. Lion to have to set up the coffee when she is tired and not all that alert yet.]