Mrs. Lion has been threatening Zapardy for a few days now. I think it’s probably time for me to test my trivia knowledge against shocks to my balls. It’s an interesting game. We still haven’t fully worked out the rules of the game. The last time we played, I got no shock if I answered a question correctly. I got one if I didn’t try to answer and two if I got the answer wrong.

The thought was that if I only got shocked for wrong answers, I would simply stop answering questions. What fun is that? So, we instituted the rule that penalized me for not answering. I suppose that is a good solution on one hand. On the other, even I can’t be expected to answer everything.

When we play spankardy, it makes sense to penalize me for not answering. It’s difficult to build up enough swats to give Mrs. Lion a chance to make me yelp. We are tinkering with those rules too. The big difference between the two games is that spankardy swats are handed out after the show goes off the air. Zapardy shocks are given as I play.

Another problem is that if we make the rules too complex, Mrs. Lion will have a hard time working out what to do in each situation. Also, the idea is to zap me as often as possible. Zapping me for being silent is a good way to give me lots of zaps as well as encourage me to answer as many questions as I can. Yup, the current rules make sense. I’ll be strapped into my shock collar at 7:30 tonight.

A few years ago, Mrs. Lion and I were interviewed about male chastity. I had a chance to talk about why I wanted to let my wife have absolute control over my sex life. You can listen to that interview here. I’m not claiming we were at our most articulate, but it was a chance to start forming thoughts about why I want to play this game.

No one has asked us to talk about spanking and domestic discipline. I have been thinking about what I might say. One thought came up in terms of a game called deal breaker. The Unqualified podcast invented the game. The idea is to bring up something your date might ask you, and you have to answer whether or not the request is a deal-breaker. OK, here’s my question: Your date asks you to spank him. Deal-breaker?

This is a tough one. After fifteen years of marriage, when I asked my ex-wife that question, she gave me a flat “No.” No questions or discussion, just no. That answer started me on the road to divorce. After only a few dates, I asked Mrs. Lion. You know her answer. It’s an interesting game. Another version of it is to ask if you wanted to be spanked, would you take the risk of asking your date to spank you? Maybe we can call that game Deal Maker.

It took me a very long time to take the risk and ask that question to my ex. It turned out to be a deal-breaker. I think asking that question would open up a long conversation. If my date asked me to spank her, I’d want to know what she had in mind. She might laugh and roll her eyes and say, “Duh!” But, I would persist and ask her exactly how she imagined it going. After all, the seeds of any kink are sown in dreams and fantasies. She might have read Fifty Shades of Grey and imagined herself in the story.

The point is that a simple deal-breaker question probably has deep roots. Mine certainly did. I never imagined specific scenarios. I just knew that I get turned on when I think about being spanked. I never fixated on a hairbrush or other implement, just getting my bottom spanked. Until I actually experienced it, I had no idea what would happen when someone spanked me. The first time, after I separated from my ex, started with me fully aroused. My partner tied me to the bed face-down. She used a leather paddle we bought at The Pleasure Chest.

I was surprised that I lost my erection almost as soon as she started. It hurt! She did a good job and left me with a burning, red bottom. When she finished, she untied me and told me to be an “attack lion.” Yes, I had that nickname back then. I quickly got hard and mounted her. She was completely ready. It turned out that spanking me was foreplay for her. It turned out to be her favorite form of foreplay. Neither of us had tried BDSM before that day. Definitely a Deal-Maker.

Mrs. Lion never found spanking me to be erotic. That hasn’t stopped her. At first, it bothered her to hurt me. Well, it bothered her for quite a while. She kept it up because she knew I wanted it. Eventually, she stopped feeling bad that she was hurting me. She began to think about spanking me as a sort of craft. She used different implements and tried to achieve an even red color on my bottom. Since she knew I wanted it, she also experimented to discover what she could do to make it uncomfortable for me to sit after she was done.

Spanking me doesn’t bother her now. It’s just something she does as part of a game we play. She’s very good at it and prides herself on her ability to make me yelp. This “deal” might seem very odd to an outsider who learns about us now. We’ve had years to evolve and fine-tune our practice. If you saw us right after I asked Mrs. Lion to spank me, you would have seen gentle taps on my bare bottom. I was very lucky that I was brave enough to ask her, and she was kind enough to say yes.

Lion will be on the spanking bench for his post-game festivities

According to what I’ve read, the Rams will beat the Bengals. I have mixed feelings about this. In the 70s, I was a Rams fan. I thought it was stupid when they went to St. Louis, but now they’re back where they belong. The nostalgia in me wants them to win. The underdog in me wants the Bengals to win because it’s been such a long time since they’ve won a Super Bowl. It would have been much easier for me if the 49ers had beaten the Rams. I don’t really like the 49ers. Anyway, I think I’ll be rooting for the Rams.

That’s football. Who cares? We’re having our first-ever Spanker Bowl Sunday. Lion will get swats based on the combined score of the game and the number of sacks the Bengals get on the Rams quarterback. The score is predicted to be in the upper 20s to low 30s for each team. The poor Lion butt will get five swats for each point. He’s hoping for a low-scoring game. In the unlikely event, the score is 3-0 with no sacks, Lion will suffer through fifteen swats. That’s hardly worth dragging out the spanking bench. He could wind up with around 300 swats if the score goes as predicted. We haven’t discussed how many swats per sack, but it has to be more than five, right? I think I’ll do seven swats per sack. All swats will be delivered after the game. It makes more sense to do them all at once. Of course, it would save his buns a little if I did them after each score. He’d have time to recover. That’s no fun.

Lion suggested a new rule and clarified an old rule the other day. He said I never said anything about them. I did. I told him I liked the ideas. I did not, however, tell him if we’d be instituting them. My bad. (I hate that saying.) For the record, I will be spanking him if he does not put the coffee pot together by 5 pm, and I will be spanking him if he leaves the shower door open. In the spirit of fair play, I reminded him yesterday that he had 45 minutes before he’d be spanked for the coffee pot. He didn’t rush, but he did get the job done by 5.

Go Rams!

I had an orgasm on Wednesday night. Mrs. Lion was determined to get me off. I had a very good time. She is wonderful at oral sex. It took me a lot longer than I expected. Mrs. Lion had to work very hard. I feel bad about that. She paused a couple of times to ask me if I was close. Sadly, I wasn’t but she soldiered on. What a trouper!

She wrote that my moving during sex causes her problems. I remember that she mentioned this once before. Even though I’ve been aware of it, I can’t remember moving. I don’t know if I can fix it. Maybe if she stops when I move and tells me to be still, I can learn. Way back in my past, a couple of former lovers used to play a game with me. They would tell me that I can’t move when they jerked me off. If I moved, they stopped. I don’t know if I actually didn’t move, but I tried very hard. Maybe Mrs. Lion can try this form of training.

I never suggested that game to my partners. I also know that I didn’t move much. I’ve wondered if many women like this sort of play. Maybe it’s why I’m a bottom now. At the time I thought it was odd that they wanted me still. I believed I didn’t move. Ironically, I was never challenged this way during oral sex. Go figure.

Do women like using sex for gentle, control play? It is using something I want a lot, particularly when aroused and in the middle of being sexually stimulated. I was both puzzled and enjoyed the play. I believed that I was quiet and still while being stimulated. I never tried a similar game on a female partner. I enjoyed the hips moving and cool noises too much to suppress them, even in fun. It seems that Mrs. Lion has a good reason to play this cruel little game with me. If it makes giving me oral sex easier, I’m all for it.