Domestic discipline

Both male chastity and domestic discipline are strongly related. Male chastity is a sexual game that turns sexual control over to another person. Those of us who practice this long-term generally stop wearing the hardware and accept control without the need for devices to keep our hands off our cocks. I admit that part of the fun of male chastity is being locked into a male chastity device that makes erection impossible. It’s hot, but at this point, unnecessary.

Maybe this sexual game ushered in our disciplinary marriage. That fateful night in December 2013, when I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me into a male chastity device, we had a short discussion that changed everything for me. She asked why I wanted my penis locked up. I told her that it would prevent me from masturbating. She was surprised.

It turned out that she had no idea that I jerked off. I had been doing it two or three times a week. She hadn’t been particularly interested in sex, and I was filling in. Without any prompting from me, she announced that I was never to jerk off again. Then she said that she wanted me to do it right then. She wanted to see how I did it. I did while she watched. Then she locked me into the Chinese male chastity device I found on Amazon.

I was locked up in various devices 24/7 for over three years. There were some breaks when a device irritated me, and we waited for a replacement. About a month in, I got a Mature Metal Jail Bird. Then, I was locked continuously until I needed shoulder surgery three years later. During that time, Mrs. Lion would unlock me for teasing and occasionally orgasms. Almost all were handjobs. She was very good at teasing me and making me come with her hand. My hand was never allowed to get involved.

We’re now in our eleventh year, and I haven’t jerked off once. Mrs. Lion has complete control of my sexual activity. It’s become a normal part of our lives. I can tell her I’m horny, and she may or may not get me off. I usually have to wait a few days before she makes me  come. Often, it doesn’t happen until a day or two of a spanking. Spankngs take precedence in our house.

Speaking of spankings, Mrs. Lion has been spanking me almost since we first met. It took her a while to learn how to make a serious impression on me. I asked her to make and enforce rules. The process of doing this has been difficult. She still has a problem punishing me, but she has no problem spanking me. Connecting discipline with spanking gives her some trouble.

My interest in this power exchange began with sexual control and evolved into domestic discipline. I don’t think this is a usual path. Many of the men who want domestic discipline hate the idea of any sexual connection. Maybe there isn’t one for them. There certainly is for me.

I wish I could better explain it, but male chastity and then domestic discipline add a kind of emotional balance to my life. It isn’t that I’m out of control and need Mrs. Lion’s paddle to help me with anger or alcohol. I don’thave problems like that. I forget chores, interrupting and acting as a know-it-all sometimes. Mrs. Lion has written that those things bother her. She still hasn’t managed to punish me for those offenses consistently. I wish she would. When she is more active with her paddles, we both seem happier and in better balance.

Males are always in heat. It’s nature’s way of ensuring species reproduce. Most mammal females are only interested in sex when they are fertile and ready to conceive. Males have to be ready when the female goes into heat. This is less true of humans and some other primates. Females are receptive even when not able to conceive. They can be convinced to fuck at any time in their fertility cycle. Sex, for us, is a way to bond. It’s also a way to keep males close to home.

Women who understand this can use our constant heat to control us. Vanilla women use sex as a reward for obedience. It’s not always obvious; do this, and you can have sex. It’s usually a passive-aggressive action where sex is withheld if he pisses her off. No wonder so many men cheat.

Sex as a reward can be a very positive part of a relationship. I think the key is to be upfront about it. I’m a little surprised that Mrs. Lion is comfortable punishing me when I need correction, but very reluctant to provide rewards when I’m good. She never withholds sex for any reason other than she feels ill or I’m not due for an orgasm. I don’t need to deserve an orgasm in order to get one. I just have to wait until Mrs. Lion decides I should have one

A lot of male chastity fiction is focused on delaying orgasms as a punishment. Not much suggests an orgasm as a reward. It seems that a lot of guys are more turned on by the punishment than the reward. Domestic discipline doesn’t include rewards, either. It’s all about punishment. I haven’t seen any posts or comments from men wanting rewards as well as spankings. Maybe adding rewards makes the power exchange too real.

Mrs. Lion says that she spanks me because I want it. Yes, I do. We both like spankings more if they are connected to me failing to do something I should. “Just Because” spankings tend to be milder and shorter. We never agreed to this. It’s just what happens. Obviously, Mrs. Lion is more motivated when I break a rule. Speaking of which, I’m long overdue for punishments for interrupting and forgetting to get my pill packets. Mrs. Lion hasn’t been feeling well and has had to put off all punishments and sex.

I suppose you could say that doing my chores and being respectful is expected of me. Why should I get a reward for doing what I should? If that’s true, are we saying that positive reinforcement isn’t useful in domestic discipline? Even in male chastity, we don’t hear of earning orgasms sooner than expected. We always hear about delaying them as a punishment.

It’s also harder to set up a system of rewards, at least for existing rules. What if Mrs. Lion makes a new rule? Should she reward me if I follow it? She punishes me if I don’t. I can’t answer that. The question doesn’t compute. All the behavioral psychology books tell us that positive reinforcement works better than negative to change behavior. Yet, we never use it.

The reason may have nothing to do with power exchange. I want to be spanked. I need it. In the past, I left relationships because it wasn’t something my partner would do. I also need sex. All of my partners provided that. I think that both male chastity and domestic discipline are adult games. Sure, they both have real value in a relationship, but they are consensual activities a couple practices. Maybe the reward is the game itself. That’s why the idea of adding rewards for good behavior makes no sense in our context. What do you think?