angry lioness

You know how things tend to annoy you more when you aren’t feeling well? Yeah, that was me from Tuesday evening on. I won’t go into detail but let’s just say my stomach was not my friend. I could eat and everything would be fine until it wasn’t. My plan was to take it easy. I’ve spent the past three months unpacking and I figured a day off here and there was warranted.

Around 4:30 yesterday, Lion asked if I was going to do any unpacking. The way he says it makes it sound like I haven’t done anything. To be fair, he knew my stomach was bothering me but he didn’t know to what extent. I wasn’t even sure. As I said, it was fine until it wasn’t. But I got up and started unpacking things.

When I opened a box, I’d find something he had to make a decision about. On my second trip into his office to ask him a question, he asked if he could finish what he was doing before he answered. Excuse me? It was no problem for me to wait. The problem was that he was doing something on his computer when he stopped me from doing something on mine to go unpack. So, I stopped unpacking to go back to my computer. I was annoyed. I was also on the brink of my stomach not being fine. I’m also sure he didn’t see the irony in the situation. I should have told him he’d be punished. I just didn’t have the energy to start a “thing” when I didn’t feel all that well. [Lion — Uh oh. not a good omen for my bottom tonight]

This has been my downfall. I know I should punish him and I don’t. I have to be able to tell him he did something wrong. Even if I’m overreacting. I think Lion would agree that I need the latitude to overreact to a little thing just to get in the habit of reacting to the correct things.

I was still not feeling well after dinner. We were watching TV and Lion asked if I wanted to snuggle. I made it pretty long snuggling before my stomach made it clear that being on my side and/or more horizontal was not a good idea. I was fine with my head propped up and on my back, but snuggling was a no go.

When Lion asked if I would lock him up, I really wasn’t in the mood. It’s always a struggle to get him into a cage when we haven’t done it in a long time. But he’d made a point of talking about it in his post and I know he wondered if it would help with his slump. The cages were in a zip lock bag. The Jailbird was complete, with the key. The others didn’t have a lock. Lion seemed to ignore when I said the Jailbird was complete. He was surprised the lock wasn’t with the others. I finally went to find the safe to see if a lock was inside. The Nub was in there with a lock.

I forgot how much of a pain it is to get Lion in the Cherry Keeper cage. The ledge that hangs onto the head is the problem. I wound up using a Q-tip to get it in. Once that’s done, locking it is easy.

Just before bed, when I was doing Lion’s eye drops, he said maybe he didn’t want to be in the cage after all. I told him it was too bad. It was on and it would be on until June. I don’t know why I said it. I usually just tell him he’s in there until I tell him he can be wild. Maybe after the unpacking thing and how much trouble it was to get the head in the cage and how uncomfortable I was, it just sounded like a good answer. Lion said at least he’d be taken out every few days to play.

This morning, in our daily emails, I realized he thought I was serious. He wondered how I came up with June as a release date. I told him I was teasing. I don’t think he believed me at first. Then he wanted to know how long he’d be caged for real. I don’t know. I hadn’t planned on caging him at all. I don’t have a date in mind. Maybe the next time he says he’s tired of it. Maybe the next time I forget to put it back on. Maybe three months. Maybe when he has a doctor’s appointment. Maybe the next health crisis (which better not be anytime soon). I don’t have a real answer in mind. Do I need one? I don’t think I do.

Compared with many locked males I did quite well in the orgasm department. Mrs. Lion is going to improve her oral stats, she says.I hope so. Maybe we will hear from Team Vagina too.

We’ve closed the books on another year. 2019 with a very tough year for me. I had a lot of medical issues that ranged from kidney stones through spinal surgery, to glaucoma and three eye surgeries. Mrs. Lion took wonderful care of me through all of this. I missed 13 consecutive weeks of work because of the spinal surgery. Through all this we had a pretty active sex life. You can see the year-end statistics in the chart to the right. You might note that October was a very big month for orgasms. That was because we were celebrating Unlocktober. Mrs. Lion did her very best and managed to get me off 8 times. Despite that, my average wait time was seven days.

This year we had New Year’s Eve fireworks of our own. Mrs. Lion, in response to my comment that her spanking the day before wasn’t bad because she had me wearing panties, decided to do an encore performance. This time, I may not have seen fireworks but I certainly saw stars during my spanking. She had me wear a pair of her old panties (she had given them to me earlier in the year for my collection of women’s underwear). She adjusted her stroke to compensate for the extra protection the cloth gave me. That spanking really hurt! She told me that I was bleeding. I wasn’t surprised. The panties had a big blood spot when she was through.

Earlier in the day, she sent me email with a very sweet message:

” I guess I’m sort of proud of me too. Who knew that the person barely hitting you at first, is now whomping you and making you sorry you ever asked for it?”

I was surprised when that message came in out of the blue. This is the first time Mrs. Lion actually said that she felt good about her spanking skills. She’s absolutely right. When I get in trouble, I am sorry I ever asked her to spank me. [Mrs. Lion – It wasn’t out of the blue. Lion said he was proud of me first.]

Even more importantly, this is no longer something I can ask her to stop. Both enforced male chastity and our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) belong to her. On this first day of 2020, I’m surprised that sexual control and corporal punishment have gone from something I wanted because it was hot to think about to a part of my marriage. Yes, I did want this not to be under my control. Before someone says, “Be Careful What You Wish for,” I’m not a bit disappointed. As Willy Wonka said at the end of the original Willy Wonka movie with Gene Wilder, “Do you know what happened to the little boy who got everything he wanted? He lived happily ever after!”

That’s me. Well, that’s me right now. Last night, bent over the side of the bed being paddled with Mrs. Lion’s very painful ferule paddle, I was anything but happy. We’ll see if I remember to remind Mrs. Lion on Saturday that it’s punishment day. I better; otherwise I expect I’ll have to endure a 10 minute spanking. The one last night was five minutes long.

If you haven’t already figured it out, I’m writing this on New Year’s Day. I write my posts the day before they publish. My posts are released at 5 AM my local time (PST). I’m not getting get up at 3 AM to write. I’m sound asleep when they go out. This creates a rather confusing situation. Mrs. Lion writes her posts the day they are published. You hear about what happened the night before. Then I come along the next day with my perspective on the same night that Mrs. Lion wrote about. That’s one of the hazards of daily posting. When I don’t write about what happened to me, everything works perfectly. When I do, I’m a day behind.

Speaking of behind, mine still hurts from last night (New Year’s Eve). In fact, it hurts more now than it did then. Last night, before midnight, Mrs. Lion attempted to give me an orgasm. She used her Magic Wand. It automatically turns itself off after about 20 minutes. You can turn it on again, of course. She applied it to my penis until it turned itself off, and then turned it on again. She kept trying. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t get there. I commented that I’m really broken. She gave me that look and said I’m not.

Coming up later this year will be two reviews: I’ll be reviewing the Evotion chastity device and I will be doing a rundown on the latest male sex machines. The Lion test labs will be busy. I got an email a bit ago from a chastity device maker. They were discussing having me review their device. They said that they liked the idea because I had a sex-friendly blog. How does the maker of chastity devices, which prevents sex, think a sex-friendly blog is a good place for a review? I’m just kidding. We all know that caged males are always horny. I’m very sex friendly, especially when locked up.

Speaking of locked up, I wonder if Mrs. Lion is going to mark the new year by snapping the lock shut on one of my devices. There certainly is an incentive: my lack of sexual responsiveness may be a way of my body asking for captivity again. I don’t know. I know that I do consider having a chastity device on my penis as a sexy thing. Maybe it’s time to return to the cage. It’s a little embarrassing to do it, but I’ll ask Mrs. Lion. I’m sure she will oblige me. She’s ever so nice that way. She’s not so nice about unlocking me if I want to get out.

My life is a little bit like a roach motel; it’s easy to get in, but impossible to get out. It’s a good thing I like it so much.

I swatted Lion with him wearing an old pair of my cotton briefs last night. I hit quite a bit harder than I did the night before. He yelped quite a bit louder. And he bled more. I think he’s learned his lesson about forgetting Saturday punishment day. But, then again, I said that last week. We’ll have to see what this weekend holds.

We were watching TV and snuggling when I decided to get the Magic Wand. I figured if oral attention wasn’t getting the job done, I’d go for the big guns. He was very interested. I thought I was even on the verge of edging him, but then everything fizzled out. He said he didn’t think he could go any further. Dammit! I really, really wanted him to have one last orgasm in 2019. Not that there’s any real difference between yesterday and today in the overall scheme of things. One day just rolls right into the next. But the calendar says there’s a difference and we’re programmed to notice.

Lion is worried that he’s really broken. It’s been less than two weeks since his last orgasm. I think it’s too early to proclaim him broken. I’m pretty sure he’s come back from longer slumps than this. However, I’m wondering if I contributed by not edging him. I’ve just been playing with my food. I haven’t been getting him all the way to the edge. He’s been close but not quite there. Now that I want him to get there, he can’t. Did I do him a disservice? I guess there’s no way to know for sure. The best we can do is keep trying and hopefully, he’ll get there before too long.

When I did just the oral activity, I didn’t play with him. Maybe his body is waiting for his balls to be tied, or Icy Hot or some other evil thing to happen. If I find the other straps and cuffs, would the simple act of tying him to the bed be enough to tip the scales? Like a reset button? “Ohhhh, okay. I’m tied down. I recognize this. Continue.” And we all live happily ever after. I’m not sure. I can tie his balls up tonight and see what happens. But I was sure the Magic Wand would work and it didn’t. I feel like I’m just rolling the dice and hoping for whatever number means you win in craps.

It’s a good thing I don’t give up easily. We’ve got a whole new year to work with. This one will be better than last.

Mrs. Lion has been focusing on improving in her role as my disciplining wife. One of her most difficult challenges is determining what constitutes useful punishment. Spanking is Mrs. Lion’s primary disciplinary tool. This makes sense. From what I’ve learned about the way other couples manage disciplinary relationships, spanking is the punishment method of choice.

Obviously spanking an adult is going to be very different from spanking a naughty child. Hand spanking is completely useless as an adult punishment. Even a hairbrush, which is a kind of spanking fetish implement, can’t provide sufficient impact to provide a real punishment. The consensus is that a paddle is necessary for adult spankings.

That brings me to the main reason I am writing this. We’ve received a few comments about the sort of spankings I receive. The writers believe Mrs. Lion is being abusive because of the severity of my punishments. She isn’t. Let me explain why:

When we first started practicing domestic discipline, neither of us had any idea exactly how to punish me. Mrs. Lion and I agreed that spanking made the most sense. Now we had to understand what constitutes a punishment spanking for me. I am a big guy, not a little boy. Obviously, to make an impression on me a lot more force is required. The big question is how much and how long?

When we began, we decided that we had to differentiate between a punishment spanking and a play spanking. Play spankings always start out with lighter swats. The intensity builds up as the endorphins start to flow. This makes that play spanking pleasurable. I love them! Obviously, a punishment spanking shouldn’t be like that. I reasoned that if the spanking started out with very hard swats, it would be absolutely no fun since I didn’t have time to produce any endorphins.

We tried that. After seven or eight hard swats I had to escape. It was just too much. I would try to roll away. I went to one of my favorite spanking authorities, Julie of strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com. She suggested that Mrs. Lion start out with milder swats to allow me to get used to the spanking. This is very similar to what we would do for a play spanking. Then, she suggested the force should build up rapidly. The idea is to keep the force of the swats just below the point where I couldn’t handle the pain. That way, I would be able to get spanked as long as necessary for the punishment.

That brought up another question: How long and how hard should the spanking be? I suggested that Mrs. Lion keep increasing both the force and length of my spankings. My idea was that at some point they would be severe enough to deter me from whatever naughty behavior earned me the spanking. One benchmark of a successful spanking, we decided, would be that it would hurt me to sit at least the next day.

This is true in our marriage. It may be a silly cartoon, but it’s absolutely the way we operate.

We now had some basis for working out exactly what a spanking needed to be to discipline me. Neither of us had any childhood experience in this area, so this was a new thing that we had to work out. Over many months, my punishments got more and more painful. About a month ago (November 2019), Mrs. Lion was able to successfully make it painful for me to sit two days after the spanking. This was a very big deal for us. It meant that my punishment spankings left a lasting impression. (Boy did they!)

Now we get to the second and more important way to decide if the spanking is severe enough: Did the spanking deter repeat offenses? One example, which I am currently paying for, was that I forgot several times to remind Mrs. Lion that Saturday is a punishment day. Normally a minor offense like this would earn a “funishment”. Funishments are less severe than spankings, but still pretty unpleasant. Currently, Mrs. Lion has two: a mouth soaping and corner time. Sometimes she lets me sit on my punishment stool when I am in the corner. This stool is covered with very rough coconut matting.

I’m being punished by standing in the corner. Yes, this is me.

When the spankings got severe enough to hurt for a day or two afterward, we realized that spankings would be reserved for “real” offenses. These are things that truly disturb Mrs. Lion. For example, interrupting her or acting like a know it all are spankable offenses. Spilling food on my shirt or forgetting punishment days earn funishments.

When I repeatedly forgot to remind her that Saturday is punishment day, Mrs. Lion felt that I needed a more severe reminder. That meant I would be spanked. A week ago I got spanked for forgetting. This past Saturday, believe it or not, I forgot again. As I mentioned before, one of the main ways to decide if punishment is severe enough is to see if the offense is repeated. Obviously, this one was. That means it’s earning me a longer, more painful spanking.

Obviously, some offenses are more serious than others. We thought that the way to manage this would be for Mrs. Lion to sentence me to multiple spankings depending on the severity of my crime. I could get anywhere from 1 to 5 spankings given on successive days, depending on what I did. The idea was that all spankings would be equally severe. We agreed that it’s very difficult for me to distinguish between spankings. If the spankings were severe enough to hurt the next day, making one harder than another wouldn’t necessarily be detectable. At least that’s what we thought.

It turned out that by the third day both of us forgot why I was being spanked. While the serial spankings seemed like a good idea, they didn’t work out very well in practice. Another couple I read about who practice domestic discipline, manage different severities by the length of the spanking. Perhaps the base spanking would last five minutes. A more serious offense would earn a 10 minute or 15 minutes spanking. This idea made sense to us. I would certainly understand the difference between a five minute spanking and a 10 minute one.

This is how we are currently operating. Mrs. Lion hasn’t set a timer yet, but I’m sure she will. One issue with the more severe spankings is that they cause me to bleed. I’m not being wounded so much as the soft skin of my butt splits a little when hit with a wooden paddle. This is common in domestic discipline relationships. I’m told it’s temporary. Once my hide toughens up, the bleeding will stop.

This bleeding is very odd because after Mrs. Lion is done, there are no sores on my rear end. There are just little spots that bled. The blood is an issue during the spanking. It gets on the paddle and is generally unpleasant for Mrs. Lion. Before anyone gets upset by this, let me say that whether or not there is blood, the spanking feels the same.

Lion in crotchless panties
Here I am in crotchless panties. If Mrs. Lion has me wear these for spanking, she has full access to my crack which she is fond of spreading and swatting.

Mrs. Lion decided that if I wear underwear during a spanking, any bleeding would be contained and not interfere with her. I suggested that the underwear would also make the spanking less painful. Mrs. Lion thought that a pair of thin panties would let the pain continue as usual. On Monday night I was due for the spanking I earned by once more forgetting punishment day was Saturday. Mrs. Lion took out a pair of panties I sometimes have to wear and told me to put them on.

The spanking actually hurt considerably less. The nasty sting that I hate was much diminished. I yelped a lot less than usual. Apparently, paddle-to-skin contact is an important component of a spanking. There is a reason that bare bottom spanking is the preferred method. Mrs. Lion announced that she would just have to try again the next night. She said that she would adjust her swats to be harder to overcome the protection the panties give me. That spanking is coming tonight; it’s New Year’s Eve. Her idea is that she will keep trying until she reaches the same point of severity while I’m wearing panties as she had when my rear end was naked.

Some guys have special panties just for spanking. To them wearing the panties adds an element of humiliation to the spanking. I wonder if their partners know that those humiliating panties also provide an effective barrier to the pain of spanking?

The spanking on Monday with panties, caused me to bleed as much as usual. The panties provided an effective barrier that allowed Mrs. Lion to continue without worrying about the blood. When she finished and I remove the panties, there was no trace of new bleeding. I’ve theorized that the bleeding is caused by squeezing capillaries in the skin. Having had this issue for quite a while, there’s been no lasting effect.

Mrs. Lion plans to add maintenance spankings to her schedule. If I don’t earn any punishment spankings within a week, I will get a maintenance spanking. The idea isn’t to reinforce her authority. I know some people like to write that this is why maintenance spankings are important. Mrs. Lion will be doing them to help toughen me up so that she won’t need to put me in panties when I am punished.

I hope that what we learned is useful to others who want to try disciplinary relationships. Corporal punishment in a domestic discipline relationship is serious. These aren’t play spankings. They aren’t unnecessarily cruel. Their purpose is to teach me to correct the behavior that earned them. I control the severity. If I don’t repeat the offense, obviously I’m not going to get spanked for it again. If I repeat the offense within a short period of time, Mrs. Lion realizes that I needed more of a lesson. That’s when the spanking goes from 5 to 10 minutes. Trust me, you don’t want to get 10 minutes of spanking from Mrs. Lion.

The Hanson ferule paddle in bloodwood. Ouch!
The Hanson ferule paddle. This bloodwood model is the most effective spanker she owns.

As I mentioned earlier, the paddle is necessary for effective disciplinary spanking. The reason an item like a hairbrush or shoe is ineffective for the purpose is that neither of them has the handle length or structure to provide sufficient leverage to send a strong message to a grown man’s rear end. Very effective paddles aren’t that expensive. The most severe one we own, and the one Mrs. Lion uses most often, is the Hanson ferule paddle (Image, left). You can find it here. A half-inch thick oak paddle costs $39.95. This is an excellent investment if you are serious about spanking. Of all of the spanking paddles we own, this is the most painful and effective.

Lion’s spanked butt
This is my butt after a spanking. In the past, we showed you this to demonstrate Mrs. Lion’s improved spanking skills. Now, you can see how her technique has been improving. Every time she gets more effective, we both benefit.

I should point out that the purpose of a spanking is to inflict pain without inflicting lasting injury. It’s not a gentle activity. It needs to hurt enough to be remembered. The reason it’s administered is to remind the disciplined male that he shouldn’t repeat the reason he is being spanked. If it isn’t extremely unpleasant, it’s not going to work.

I know that domestic discipline isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. It works for us and we have been doing it long enough that it is an integral part of our marriage. Mrs. Lion and I do talk about spanking. The conversations are never about whether or not she should spank me. There is no way she won’t if I do something she dislikes. The discussions are about how she can be more effective and make the spankings even more unpleasant. We’ve both learned that the less I like being spanked the harder I will try to avoid getting them. Of course, at least until I stop bleeding, I will receive maintenance spankings no matter how good I am. I understand and accept that it’s for my own good.

Our disciplinary relationship is more than just punishment for us. It’s a heightened awareness of Mrs. Lion’s feelings and how I impact them. Our trust in one another has grown. Mrs. Lion knows that I want her to effectively punish me. I don’t want that because I need to be punished for some deep psychological problem I have. I want it because it’s another very effective channel of communication for us.

Too many people focus on the physical aspect of domestic discipline. Yes, this post is about how we do it and is intended to help others who want to implement it. But there is far more to this than just spanking my bottom. It’s about understanding what makes things work for us. It’s about a heightened awareness of each other. Ultimately, it’s an expression of love.