We were considering dinner out last night but neither of us were very hungry. By the time we decided to eat something in, it was pretty late. As a result, play time was late.

I tied Lion’s balls to see if that would help with his slump. I’m sorry to say it did not. Tight, stretched out balls were not the answer. Of course, it was late. But Lion is more convinced than ever that he’s broken. He’s afraid he’s permanently broken. I’m not so sure. He’s still horny. I’m wondering if it has something to do with medications. He’s making a doctor appointment to check things out.

This morning, Lion isn’t feeling well. He’s not sure if it’s kidney stones again or what. He’s in a lot of pain and I’m not sure how to help him. I’m in the helpless position of waiting for him to tell me if he needs to go to the hospital. Health issues are not the way we wanted to start 2020. I’m hoping he has whatever I had the other day. It wasn’t fun but it didn’t last too long.

With him in a lot of pain, I’m not really thinking about causing him more pain. However, I know he probably needs pain to get over his slump. Barring any organic issues, it must be a play problem. He isn’t getting what he needs to fully turn him on. It’s possible that a change of venue would help. We spend all our time in the bedroom and I’ve argued in the past that there should be some separation. Aside from my moving over to snuggle, there’s no real signal that sex is beginning. You know, in the movies and on TV someone usually says “let’s take this to the bedroom” or words to that effect. I don’t know for a fact that that would work. I just know something has to change.

I guess I could start putting clothespins or Icy Hot on the bed to foreshadow the night’s happenings. But I sort of like surprising Lion. It’s fun to get him all riled up and then bring out those evil tiny clothespins and watch his face contort. Even if I don’t use them. Even if I just bring one out and run it over the tip of his cock like I might use it. I have no idea if that would break his slump. I don’t know what will or I would have done it by now. I’m grasping at straws here.

Lion feels bad that he can’t get hard for me like he’s wasting my time. I feel bad that I can’t get him hard like I’m wasting his time. Maybe I really did do a number on him when I stopped when I was tired. Maybe that sent a message that I won’t go the extra yard to get him to the edge. I have. And I will. We’ll figure this out. Maybe we just need to stop dwelling on it. Thinking is the enemy of an erection, after all.

Thursday night Mrs. Lion spanked me for my thoughtless behavior on Wednesday. She mentioned it in her post the next day. It was an important punishment. Hopefully, that spanking is the beginning of Mrs. Lion becoming more aware of things I do that bother her. Most couples that implement domestic discipline with the wife as the disciplining spouse begin because there is a behavioral problem with the husband. The most common reason is excessive drinking. The husband will be punished each time he drinks more than his wife permits him.

The key is that both partners believe something needs to be corrected. In our context, domestic discipline is a consensual activity. Mrs. Lion’s decisions about why I am punished can’t be vetoed. I think that surrendering the right to argue is what frightens many men about entering the sort of relationship. Mrs. Lion’s word is absolute, and I have to accept her punishments.

Our reason for getting into this has more to do with Mrs. Lion than me. She has a lifetime habit of stuffing her feelings. In the past, I’ve done things that upset her. I’ve been thoughtless with something I’ve said to her. She never commented when I did. I only discovered her upset when she withdrew from me. When that happened, I’d have to pry what was going on out of her. I felt that ultimately these bad feelings would add up and could endanger our marriage. I talked about this with Mrs. Lion; you can read about that in past posts. She agreed that the problem is real and that my proposed solution made sense.

Since neither of us had any experience with disciplinary spanking, it made sense to try to establish our roles in less threatening situations. After all, Mrs. Lion isn’t just going to suddenly tell me what’s bothering her and then punish me for my offense. That’s why we have our misdemeanors. They provided her with experience catching me doing something wrong, and me accepting punishment. It’s taken a long time to build up to a level of discipline that makes a strong impression on me. Mrs. Lion is now very successful at spanking me.

What we refer to as lioness 3.0, is Mrs. Lion being aware of things I say or do that upset her. Then, she must tell me about it and follow-up with punishment. Identifying offenses has been incredibly difficult for her. The fact that she processed and then discussed the fact that I upset her on Wednesday was a big step. I suggested that it was a spankable offense. She agreed, and Thursday night, I was spanked for it. That’s a terrific step for us both. Yesterday, in an email, I said that my bottom still hurt. She replied that she hoped it would remind me to think about what I did. Perfect!

heart paddle
It may hurt but Mrs. Lion punishes out of love. Contrary to the saying, it definitely hurts me more than it hurts her.

I’m not happy that I got punished, but I am pleased that Mrs. Lion processed my behavior and took action to try to teach me to be more aware of her. One of our readers suggested that she respond to my offense by keeping me caged longer, or worse yet, take my cage off. That sort of punishment isn’t useful for us. Longer-term retribution loses its impact because the offense fades from memory. A timely punishment like spanking allows me to associate my thoughtlessness with a very painful spanking. It conditions me to avoid the behavior that got me punished. The longer-term disciplines wouldn’t have that effect if I repeated the act. Mrs. Lion would have nothing else she could do. In this case, if I repeat that behavior, I can expect a longer (10 or 15 minutes versus five minute) spanking.

Behavior that is deeply embedded in our psyches isn’t going to change after a single disciplinary event. Mrs. Lion isn’t going to suddenly be able to detect and react to everything I do that upsets her. It’s going to take her time and effort to do that. Similarly, I’m probably going to be thoughtless again. It’s doubtful a single punishment will condition me away from that behavior. If it does, so much the better. If it doesn’t, Mrs. Lion will deal with it in a way that will help me learn not to do it again.

Unlike our misdemeanors, which are mainly BDSM, these more severe offenses need serious punishment to be corrected. Only a consistent response will do that. We’ve both learned that I learn by being punished for an offense. We discovered that when I was punished for spilling food on my shirt, I went from doing it frequently to rarely getting food there. In the scope of my life, that’s not a big deal. But it is a big deal in terms of the fact that we’ve proven that I can make changes as the result of disciplinary action. Now, we have to apply that same level of consistency to these more serious behavioral issues.

The bottom line is that Mrs. Lion and I want to make each other happy. I don’t need rules to do things that make her life more comfortable. I want to do that. And I do. We both came to like our BDSM misdemeanor “game.” So Mrs. Lion looks for other reasons to catch me and then punish me. Those punishments we call funishments: unpleasant but not severe things like mouth soaping and corner time. We both find it fun and exciting. That’s the reason I got punished, or should I say funished for forgetting to set up the coffee pot. It wasn’t that I needed severe discipline to get me to do my chores; it was just another way to play the game.

Spanking is reserved for serious offenses or dealing with repeated minor offenses. Mrs. Lion spanked me because I forgot for the fourth or fifth time to remind Mrs. Lion that Saturday is punishment day. I can expect another spanking if I forget again. It was the only time something in the realm of our funishments leaks into the more severe and painful spanking arena.

Both of us have been writing about the fact that I bleed when spanked. I had several theories about this. The one that I believe is correct is that my skin was dry, and when it began to swell during spanking, it cracked and bled. The solution, I thought, would be to moisturize that skin so that it is more flexible; soften it up for the blow. When Mrs. Lion spanked me on Thursday night, there was only a tiny bit of bleeding. She had put me in cotton panties so that it was the same set of conditions we had for the last two spankings. In those spankings, there was considerable bleeding. She is sure that she was just as harsh Thursday night, and there was almost no blood.

I will continue moisturizing my lower cheeks. I believe Mrs. Lion is going to go back to spanking my bare buns. Swatting bare skin is more painful, and she can see the visible results of her work. Mrs. Lion strives to achieve an even, dark-red color on the bottom half of my bottom. She tries to get the same color inside my crack as well. That was impossible, with me covered by the panties.

Before this most recent theory, we were both convinced I needed to toughen my hide. Mrs. Lion proposed to do this through spankings for punishment, and in weeks when I didn’t earn one, maintenance spankings as well. Perhaps she still has to work on my hide, but it’s clear that I have to continue moisturizing to keep it soft and pliable. As far as I could tell on Thursday night, having a moisturized rear end doesn’t change how sensitive it is.

It may seem odd that our domestic discipline is a cooperative affair with both of us supplying input. A disciplinary relationship is something we both want and have incorporated into our marriage. I owe it to Mrs. Lion to help her observe my offenses and correct me when I commit them. We are both on the same side. It will indeed hurt a lot after I tell her of something I did wrong and remind her to punish me. However, our goal is the same. We both want her to be more aware of things that bother her and to realize she has the power and the obligation to punish me when I commit them. We both profit when she does. A sore butt is a small price to pay.

I swatted Lion again Thursday night. This time it was for annoying me on Wednesday. He wondered if his bleeding was because of dry skin. He’s been moisturizing for a few days. Still, I had him wear panties. I think I swatted harder. There was only a small spot of blood when I was done. Either he’s right about dry skin or I really didn’t swat harder.[Lion — She swatted harder!] Or maybe his hide is getting toughened up. In any case, the next time Lion needs a reminder of how to behave, he will get it without panties.

This morning, in our emails back and forth, he said his butt was sore. I suggested he think about what he did to get that sore butt. If he can remember punishment day and not annoy me, maybe he won’t have so much trouble sitting down. While we’re on the subject, it just occurred to me that his not following the rules is annoying to me. So why did I change the lesser infractions to funishments? Hmmm. Maybe this is 3.0 talking. Maybe, once I get in the habit of catching and punishing him for the more serious offenses, the lesser ones will cease to be funishments. Maybe 3.0 just needs to step up and find more rules.

Lion was in his cage for a day. He managed to spray pee all over the toilet and the floor around it. He cleaned it up like a good boy, but yuck! Is it really worth it to have him be caged if he’s going to make a mess? I don’t think so. Actually I told Lion I didn’t want to unlock him last night. He said he thought I had plans to play with him. I did. But I didn’t want to put the cage back on. This was before we decided he should stay wild because of the pee spraying problem. I don’t mind when the cage is on or off. I don’t even mind taking it off. It’s putting it on that annoys me. Every time he gets a new one I think it’ll be better. Either it’s a bitch to line up the cage with the base ring or the lock is difficult or I have to jam the head into something. I know he likes having the cage on (until he thinks about it and realizes he’s caged again) but I’m happier when he’s wild. Of course, I don’t share his bondage needs.

I finally agreed to take it off and I played with him. I’m not even sure I got him to the point of being convincingly hard. He was on his way and then plateaued again. I even thought about telling him I’d leave the cage off until he could get to the edge. I figured that could go one of two ways: either he’d see the cage as a reward for getting hard or he’d figure I’d given up on him. I didn’t know which way so why risk it? Plus, do I really want him trying to get hard so I have to wrestle with the cage again?

I think I’m as undecided about the cage as he is. He wants it on until it’s on and then he thinks better of the idea. I don’t care if it’s on or off; I just don’t want to have to put it on. We’re quite a pair.

One thing I am decidedly decided about is the fact that I’m not giving up on trying to get Lion to the edge. I don’t think he’s broken. I won’t give up until a doctor tells me there’s no hope of revival. Do not resuscitate. Until then, I’ll do what I can for him.

I asked for it in my post yesterday. I said that I wanted Mrs. Lion to lock me up in a male chastity device again. Later, in the evening, I mentioned it to her again. She was having a problem with feeling comfortable. She had spent the day working around the house and I think she had done a little too much. Even so, when I reminded her that she planned to lock me up, she said,

“Oh yes, I remember. Which cage do you want?

“How about the Cherry Keeper?”

frong view of cherry keeper cage on lion's penis
The headlock feature keeps the head of my penis firmly in place with my urethra nicely centered.

“Okay I’ll get it out.”

Mrs. Lion struggled a bit getting the head of my penis past the headlock in the Cherry Keeper cage. Eventually, she got it in and locked the cage shut. Once the cage was in place, I started having second thoughts. It’s not that the cage is uncomfortable. The Cherry Keeper is both very light in weight and fits perfectly. I hardly know it’s there. It’s also very good at keeping my urethra nicely centered in the opening meant for it. It’s just that I like being wild. I told that to Mrs. Lion. She smiled and said,

“I know you do.”

“Will you unlock me if I want?”

“We can discuss that in June.”

June? That’s six months away. That’s the problem with asking my lioness to do something for or to me. Once she does, it goes out of my control and usually ends up getting me into trouble. I do like being wild. But I also miss the penis bondage provided by a chastity device. I like the ability to easily use the toilet and occasionally play with it and make it hard. Obviously, I can’t do that anymore.

cherry keeper on lion's penis side view
The Cherry Keeper cage is quite short. It nestles between my balls and is invisible under clothing.

There is very little difference in my sex life whether I am caged or not. Mrs. Lion controls 100% of my sexual pleasure. I get to ejaculate when she decides it’s time. It doesn’t matter whether or not I’m wearing a chastity device. I suppose when I’m wild, there’s that tiny chance I might cheat and get myself off. Mrs. Lion and I both know that I won’t do that. I might have years ago before I got so well-trained. The simple fact is I’m thoroughly conditioned to give ownership of my sexual pleasure to my lioness.

After I started writing this post, I sent Mrs. Lion an email asking her if she was serious about six months minimum in the chastity device. She wrote back that she was kidding. She didn’t say what the joke was. Did she mean that she might unlock me sooner if I wanted? Or, did she mean that June wasn’t when we could discuss it? She might not have any intention of discussing it or unlocking me. It could be that my wild lion days are over.

When we began enforced male chastity, the rule was that I stay locked in a chastity device except when she wanted to tease me or when I had some good reason to be wild, such as a doctor’s appointment when I would have to remove my pants, or business trip. In other words, my usual state was to be locked into a chastity device.

After about three years of this, I needed surgery which required me to be wild not only for the operation but for my recovery as well. It was for a torn rotator cuff. The recuperation lasted three months. I ended up being wild considerably longer. I got used to being able to deal with my penis as I wished so long as I didn’t give myself an orgasm. I could test toys to see if they made me very aroused. I could do limited play with my penis. I suppose being wild gives me a sense of ownership of my penis.

That’s exactly how I feel when I’m allowed to be wild without Mrs. Lion being present. That feeling disappears very quickly when my penis is caged. Mrs. Lion keeps the key in a safe. It’s a real safe with a digital combination lock. I don’t know the combination. She is the only one who can free my penis. I know that it’s really not mine. It’s her weenie to do with as she wishes. That’s different than letting her control my penis’ pleasure. In the first case, she takes what she wants and it has nothing to do with me. She locks it up, she unlocks it and plays with it or does nasty things to it as she wishes. Then she puts it away in its cage until she wants to play again.

When I’m wild, I let her give me pleasure if she wishes, tease me, or do nasty CBT. There’s actually no difference in the physical activities. The difference is in my head. It’s absolutely impossible for me to claim ownership of my penis when it is in a chastity device. I can’t touch it, play with it, or do anything else with it other than urinate. And I do that through an opening in the bars. I get sexual attention at the pleasure of Mrs. Lion. I can’t fill in with any sexual pleasure of my own.

bleeding areas on lion's butt

We are both puzzled about why I would bleed during a spanking. I’ve heard from one other man who is in a domestic discipline relationship that in the beginning, he would bleed during spankings. It isn’t that Mrs. Lion is hitting so hard that the edge of the paddle would break my skin. The edges are safely rounded and the entire paddle is finished in a smooth lacquer

One theory that I have is that the skin might crack in places and allow blood to escape. The areas that bleed tend to be swollen with a leathery feel. That’s normal in a spanking. I’ve always gotten those when Mrs. Lion whomps me hard. I didn’t necessarily bleed.

It occurred to me that maybe my skin is too dry. So, I have been putting moisturizer on my behind. If my theory is correct, there should be much less bleeding. Another argument in favor of the dry skin theory is that I still bleed when Mrs. Lion puts me in panties before spanking me. The panties would definitely protect me from any sharp edges. However, there is no change in the blood appearing. It doesn’t seem to come from large areas. It seems that the cut opens here and there. Usually, by the end of the spanking, there is no trace of the bleeding continuing.

It’s obviously not dangerous since there are no open sores. The toys, as well as the underwear Mrs. Lion is now making me wear, have never been used with anyone else. When Mrs. Lion gets blood on her paddle, she cleans it thoroughly. She’s decided, and I completely agree, that the bleeding is not an issue and shouldn’t have any effect on her spanking.

I would love to know why this is happening. I’m very glad that it isn’t scaring Mrs. Lion away. For the record, her spankings are pretty severe but not so brutal that she bruises me very often. In fact, the last two spankings did not result in any bruises at all. The paddle she uses, the Hanson ferule, stings like crazy and often hurts for a long time, but rarely leaves much in the way of bruising. Some bruising is desirable since it is what gives me painful reminders for a day or two after the punishment. Some spankers I’ve known, use a second instrument for the bruising. Mrs. Lion may have to go to that strategy.

Very few disciplined males write about their actual punishments. That’s because when you do, the people who want jerk off fodder will read the posts as BDSM porn. None of us want that. On the other hand, non-porn conversations about effective spanking would benefit those of us who have been trying to find our own way. So far, my discussions of the subject have elicited a combination of personal porn comments, which I delete, and obscene criticism claiming that Mrs. Lion is an abuser. Conspicuously absent are comments from other couples in a similar lifestyle. I’m not sure how we can promote this but I’m hoping that if you share a domestic discipline relationship, you can provide input as to how you handle punishment.

Meanwhile Mrs. Lion and I will go on doing the best we can. I’m very proud of Mrs. Lion’s ability to give me an effective punishment spanking. She can actually spank me enough that I will work very hard to avoid another spanking. That was the goal. She’s done an amazing job as my disciplinary wife. I’m eternally grateful to her.