Mrs. Lion has been focusing on improving in her role as my disciplining wife. One of her most difficult challenges is determining what constitutes useful punishment. Spanking is Mrs. Lion’s primary disciplinary tool. This makes sense. From what I’ve learned about the way other couples manage disciplinary relationships, spanking is the punishment method of choice.
Obviously spanking an adult is going to be very different from spanking a naughty child. Hand spanking is completely useless as an adult punishment. Even a hairbrush, which is a kind of spanking fetish implement, can’t provide sufficient impact to provide a real punishment. The consensus is that a paddle is necessary for adult spankings.
That brings me to the main reason I am writing this. We’ve received a few comments about the sort of spankings I receive. The writers believe Mrs. Lion is being abusive because of the severity of my punishments. She isn’t. Let me explain why:
When we first started practicing domestic discipline, neither of us had any idea exactly how to punish me. Mrs. Lion and I agreed that spanking made the most sense. Now we had to understand what constitutes a punishment spanking for me. I am a big guy, not a little boy. Obviously, to make an impression on me a lot more force is required. The big question is how much and how long?
When we began, we decided that we had to differentiate between a punishment spanking and a play spanking. Play spankings always start out with lighter swats. The intensity builds up as the endorphins start to flow. This makes that play spanking pleasurable. I love them! Obviously, a punishment spanking shouldn’t be like that. I reasoned that if the spanking started out with very hard swats, it would be absolutely no fun since I didn’t have time to produce any endorphins.
We tried that. After seven or eight hard swats I had to escape. It was just too much. I would try to roll away. I went to one of my favorite spanking authorities, Julie of strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com. She suggested that Mrs. Lion start out with milder swats to allow me to get used to the spanking. This is very similar to what we would do for a play spanking. Then, she suggested the force should build up rapidly. The idea is to keep the force of the swats just below the point where I couldn’t handle the pain. That way, I would be able to get spanked as long as necessary for the punishment.
That brought up another question: How long and how hard should the spanking be? I suggested that Mrs. Lion keep increasing both the force and length of my spankings. My idea was that at some point they would be severe enough to deter me from whatever naughty behavior earned me the spanking. One benchmark of a successful spanking, we decided, would be that it would hurt me to sit at least the next day.
We now had some basis for working out exactly what a spanking needed to be to discipline me. Neither of us had any childhood experience in this area, so this was a new thing that we had to work out. Over many months, my punishments got more and more painful. About a month ago (November 2019), Mrs. Lion was able to successfully make it painful for me to sit two days after the spanking. This was a very big deal for us. It meant that my punishment spankings left a lasting impression. (Boy did they!)
Now we get to the second and more important way to decide if the spanking is severe enough: Did the spanking deter repeat offenses? One example, which I am currently paying for, was that I forgot several times to remind Mrs. Lion that Saturday is a punishment day. Normally a minor offense like this would earn a “funishment”. Funishments are less severe than spankings, but still pretty unpleasant. Currently, Mrs. Lion has two: a mouth soaping and corner time. Sometimes she lets me sit on my punishment stool when I am in the corner. This stool is covered with very rough coconut matting.
When the spankings got severe enough to hurt for a day or two afterward, we realized that spankings would be reserved for “real” offenses. These are things that truly disturb Mrs. Lion. For example, interrupting her or acting like a know it all are spankable offenses. Spilling food on my shirt or forgetting punishment days earn funishments.
When I repeatedly forgot to remind her that Saturday is punishment day, Mrs. Lion felt that I needed a more severe reminder. That meant I would be spanked. A week ago I got spanked for forgetting. This past Saturday, believe it or not, I forgot again. As I mentioned before, one of the main ways to decide if punishment is severe enough is to see if the offense is repeated. Obviously, this one was. That means it’s earning me a longer, more painful spanking.
Obviously, some offenses are more serious than others. We thought that the way to manage this would be for Mrs. Lion to sentence me to multiple spankings depending on the severity of my crime. I could get anywhere from 1 to 5 spankings given on successive days, depending on what I did. The idea was that all spankings would be equally severe. We agreed that it’s very difficult for me to distinguish between spankings. If the spankings were severe enough to hurt the next day, making one harder than another wouldn’t necessarily be detectable. At least that’s what we thought.
It turned out that by the third day both of us forgot why I was being spanked. While the serial spankings seemed like a good idea, they didn’t work out very well in practice. Another couple I read about who practice domestic discipline, manage different severities by the length of the spanking. Perhaps the base spanking would last five minutes. A more serious offense would earn a 10 minute or 15 minutes spanking. This idea made sense to us. I would certainly understand the difference between a five minute spanking and a 10 minute one.
This is how we are currently operating. Mrs. Lion hasn’t set a timer yet, but I’m sure she will. One issue with the more severe spankings is that they cause me to bleed. I’m not being wounded so much as the soft skin of my butt splits a little when hit with a wooden paddle. This is common in domestic discipline relationships. I’m told it’s temporary. Once my hide toughens up, the bleeding will stop.
This bleeding is very odd because after Mrs. Lion is done, there are no sores on my rear end. There are just little spots that bled. The blood is an issue during the spanking. It gets on the paddle and is generally unpleasant for Mrs. Lion. Before anyone gets upset by this, let me say that whether or not there is blood, the spanking feels the same.
Mrs. Lion decided that if I wear underwear during a spanking, any bleeding would be contained and not interfere with her. I suggested that the underwear would also make the spanking less painful. Mrs. Lion thought that a pair of thin panties would let the pain continue as usual. On Monday night I was due for the spanking I earned by once more forgetting punishment day was Saturday. Mrs. Lion took out a pair of panties I sometimes have to wear and told me to put them on.
The spanking actually hurt considerably less. The nasty sting that I hate was much diminished. I yelped a lot less than usual. Apparently, paddle-to-skin contact is an important component of a spanking. There is a reason that bare bottom spanking is the preferred method. Mrs. Lion announced that she would just have to try again the next night. She said that she would adjust her swats to be harder to overcome the protection the panties give me. That spanking is coming tonight; it’s New Year’s Eve. Her idea is that she will keep trying until she reaches the same point of severity while I’m wearing panties as she had when my rear end was naked.
Some guys have special panties just for spanking. To them wearing the panties adds an element of humiliation to the spanking. I wonder if their partners know that those humiliating panties also provide an effective barrier to the pain of spanking?
The spanking on Monday with panties, caused me to bleed as much as usual. The panties provided an effective barrier that allowed Mrs. Lion to continue without worrying about the blood. When she finished and I remove the panties, there was no trace of new bleeding. I’ve theorized that the bleeding is caused by squeezing capillaries in the skin. Having had this issue for quite a while, there’s been no lasting effect.
Mrs. Lion plans to add maintenance spankings to her schedule. If I don’t earn any punishment spankings within a week, I will get a maintenance spanking. The idea isn’t to reinforce her authority. I know some people like to write that this is why maintenance spankings are important. Mrs. Lion will be doing them to help toughen me up so that she won’t need to put me in panties when I am punished.
I hope that what we learned is useful to others who want to try disciplinary relationships. Corporal punishment in a domestic discipline relationship is serious. These aren’t play spankings. They aren’t unnecessarily cruel. Their purpose is to teach me to correct the behavior that earned them. I control the severity. If I don’t repeat the offense, obviously I’m not going to get spanked for it again. If I repeat the offense within a short period of time, Mrs. Lion realizes that I needed more of a lesson. That’s when the spanking goes from 5 to 10 minutes. Trust me, you don’t want to get 10 minutes of spanking from Mrs. Lion.
As I mentioned earlier, the paddle is necessary for effective disciplinary spanking. The reason an item like a hairbrush or shoe is ineffective for the purpose is that neither of them has the handle length or structure to provide sufficient leverage to send a strong message to a grown man’s rear end. Very effective paddles aren’t that expensive. The most severe one we own, and the one Mrs. Lion uses most often, is the Hanson ferule paddle (Image, left). You can find it here. A half-inch thick oak paddle costs $39.95. This is an excellent investment if you are serious about spanking. Of all of the spanking paddles we own, this is the most painful and effective.
I should point out that the purpose of a spanking is to inflict pain without inflicting lasting injury. It’s not a gentle activity. It needs to hurt enough to be remembered. The reason it’s administered is to remind the disciplined male that he shouldn’t repeat the reason he is being spanked. If it isn’t extremely unpleasant, it’s not going to work.
I know that domestic discipline isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. It works for us and we have been doing it long enough that it is an integral part of our marriage. Mrs. Lion and I do talk about spanking. The conversations are never about whether or not she should spank me. There is no way she won’t if I do something she dislikes. The discussions are about how she can be more effective and make the spankings even more unpleasant. We’ve both learned that the less I like being spanked the harder I will try to avoid getting them. Of course, at least until I stop bleeding, I will receive maintenance spankings no matter how good I am. I understand and accept that it’s for my own good.
Our disciplinary relationship is more than just punishment for us. It’s a heightened awareness of Mrs. Lion’s feelings and how I impact them. Our trust in one another has grown. Mrs. Lion knows that I want her to effectively punish me. I don’t want that because I need to be punished for some deep psychological problem I have. I want it because it’s another very effective channel of communication for us.
Too many people focus on the physical aspect of domestic discipline. Yes, this post is about how we do it and is intended to help others who want to implement it. But there is far more to this than just spanking my bottom. It’s about understanding what makes things work for us. It’s about a heightened awareness of each other. Ultimately, it’s an expression of love.