By:
In: Lion's Journal, Edging, Sex, Spanking
Closeup of a angry lion with open mouth and showing teeth

It’s been a busy weekend. Well, very busy for Mrs. Lion; not so busy for me. I feel terrible that she is stuck with the work preparing for move. Between physical restrictions from my eye surgery and my reduced ability to see, I’m not very useful right now. She spent a good part of today getting my office cleaned out and packed up. We are throwing out far more than we are moving. That’s very good news. I’m still really worried we won’t be ready in time.

She predicted it wouldn’t be long before I earn a spanking. She was right. We had a snack Sunday afternoon and I managed to drip some sauce on my shirt. I was rewarded with that knowing smile she likes to use when I break a rule. That smile means I will be getting three spankings. On Saturday I asked her if I could get a spanking to make up for the things she couldn’t punish me for when I was sick. She declined. That made me think about our play spankings. I realized that there is a big difference now between a BDSM spanking and punishment. It has nothing to do with how Mrs. Lion administers it. The play spanking is just that: a spanking. That’s right, just one. Punishment is a series of at least three. For the record, I wasn’t a bit happy about spilling. On Saturday, I was in the mood for a spanking. On Sunday, the idea of three was very unappealing.

Saturday night marked the end of my post-surgical hiatus. Mrs. Lion celebrated it by giving me a wonderful hand job. I know she wasn’t fully recovered from her stomach problems on Friday night. I was very grateful for the relief. Before finally letting me ejaculate, she brought me so close to the edge I was positive I was going to have a ruined orgasm. It was so close I could feel muscle starting to contract. I was very surprised that she had me so well tuned that I was teetering on the edge but didn’t fall over. Once the orgasm came later, it was almost painful. It seemed to last a very long time.

Lately I’ve noticed that my orgasms are less of a mountain peak and more of a very high plateau. It still builds up the same way it always did, but at the top I just seem to sit in a very intense place for several seconds; it feels much longer to me. Then, it feels the way it always does after an orgasm. I don’t know if this is normal or potentially part of a problem. Whatever it is, the longer I wait, the more pronounced my stay on this very high plateau becomes. Sometimes, after a long wait, it almost hurts to come. This time it wasn’t exactly painful, but it was incredibly intense. I could hear the sounds it was ringing out of me.

It may be my imagination, but I think I’m much more vocal lately. I attribute this to my vocal performance when I’m spanked. I try to be quiet. After all, shouldn’t I be stoic? No matter how hard I try, I yelp. I guess I’m pretty noisy. I’ve been thinking that these reactions are carrying over to the polar opposite: orgasms. For a very long time, most of my life, I was very quiet when I came. I think there was a detectable change in my breathing but no vocalizations.

I’m not complaining. I think Mrs. Lion likes hearing me enjoy the fruit of her masturbatory labor. I suspect she also enjoys my reaction to the very different physical labor of paddling me. In some cultures, when you enjoy a meal you’re supposed to burp loudly to show your appreciation of the fine food. I’ve always appreciated strong vocalization when I provide an orgasm to my partner. For the record, Mrs. Lion expressed her gratitude very vocally. I loved that.

I hope she enjoys the sounds I produce. I can’t silence myself. I know that in the case of spanking, she’s commented on how my yelps change depending on what part of my butt she is paddling. I can’t say that I’ve noticed that. I know I make noise, but I’m not at all sure how I sound or what the sounds mean. Mrs. Lion knows. Screams and roars appear to be the reactions she wants to produce. I guess she’s learned to play me like a musical instrument.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion was surprised to get an orgasm last night. He kept saying he didn’t expect it. He said I wrote that he wouldn’t be getting an orgasm. He was grateful but confused. Silly boy. He should know I’m all about keeping him on his toes. He likes magic. He tries to figure out how the tricks are done. It’s usually misdirection. Look! Over there! Nope. Right here, Lion. He hasn’t realized that he’ll never quite figure me out.

He seems to be reminiscing lately in his posts. When we first started enforced chastity, Lion was surprised when I decided to give him an orgasm every night. Back in the day, he really got sex ending in an orgasm every night. Then we entered a period of Lion having almost no sex. It made sense to me to get back to an orgasm a day. Of course, there were a few considerations I hadn’t taken into account. First of all, we were both older. It stands to reason that things you could do even five years ago aren’t as easy now. Second, you can’t necessarily go from zero to one hundred and sustain it for any length of time.

Luckily for Lion we settled in to a more attainable schedule. However, in his reminiscing, Lion wonders what would happen if we tried an orgasm a day again. Everything is in turmoil at the moment, but by the end of the month, we should be all moved in and mostly unpacked. There’s no reason we can’t give an orgasm a day a try again.

Since we’re trying it together, either one of us can end it. Obviously, Lion can end it at any time if he simply can’t go on every night. But what if he’s just tired of doing it? Maybe everything is going a long well, but Lion is done. No harm, no foul. It’s not a rule. It’s not an experiment. Well, it is an experiment, but not a normal, Mrs. Lion experiment. We just want to see what happens. No pressure.

Look for the orgasm a day to start by the end of September. It may be sooner.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

A large part of the problems guys have when trying to get a keyholder so they can begin enforced male chastity is communicating exactly what they want. I’ve been thinking about this problem. It seems to me that like many things, “male chastity” is a misnomer. Let me explain:

back in the early days of computer communication, there were places people could post comments, questions, and answers. Some were organized into “newsgroups”. I believe they started in universities as a way to let people easily find subjects of interest. It was a naming system similar to the way files are named. A couple of groups in the alt (alternative).sex group, were alt.sex.spanking and just plain alt.sex. A lot of the conversations focused on nomenclature. Right from the start, Internet people obsessed on terminology. A debate raged on several groups about what the feminine form of “dominant” would be. A lot of people disliked what they considered the diminutive “dominatrix” name. After way more conversation than is needed, people settled on “domme”. I, for one, refuse to use this silly Internet-created word.

Anyway, almost everything pertaining to sexual practices went through similar discussions. I guess it’s easier to talk about what to call things than it is to actually do them. There were thousands of these discussion groups outside of the University nomenclature. This is important because the ability to attract and gather people around obscure interests created communities centered on those things. All you had to do was find a server, load discussion software, publicize your group on established newsgroups, and off you went.

As it turned out, a little group formed around penis bondage. This group is still in existence: altairboy.com. It featured conversations about what we now call male chastity devices. I don’t recall the exact debate, but there was conversation about what to call the practice of building, wearing, and escaping from penis bondage. At some point, the term “male chastity” was accepted. It made sense because the idea of women wearing chastity devices, which allegedly prevented them from having sex and getting pregnant from unauthorized males, was very close to the male version. The male version as we know, prevents a male from getting sexual release.

The original practice was all about “security”. Practitioners would make or obtain a device, lock it on, and leave it in place until they could escape without using a key. Every day that went by without escape created more frustration and horniness. This practice had the built-in incentive of urgently needing sexual release. Back in those days I reviewed quite a few of these devices.

The idea was all about the hardware and escaping from it. That was male chastity. Later on, some guys would find people who would hold their keys. In the escape context, that meant they remove the only non-escape ability to free their penises. It didn’t take long for some to realize that if they didn’t try to escape, surrendering their keys gave the keyholder a power advantage.

This is where things began to go off the rails. Device wearing became a way to prevent the guy from cheating. Presumably, the keyholder could rest assured that the poor locked male, no matter how frustrated he got, would be physically unable to get himself off. In this context, trying to escape would be extremely bad form. The real game moved away from the hardware and focused on orgasm denial and control.

Now, male chastity referred to two distinct practices that could work together: physical penis restraint and orgasm control. These two practices definitely pair very well. One facilitates the other. To this day, most of us think of male chastity in terms of a device restraining penis and a keyholder cruelly withholding blessed ejaculation. Actually, this isn’t a good thing. If you go by the current resources on male chastity, in order to join the club, you need to want to wear penis bondage equipment, and turn over ejaculation control to another person.

That means guys who just want penis bondage or only want ejaculation control, might not do either if they follow the current guidelines. Of course, there are communities like altairboy.com that focus just on the hardware. There are femdom groups that practice ejaculation control without hardware. If you read this blog, you probably like both.

The big challenge comes when you try to find a keyholder who likes the idea of your penis in a cage and also enjoys watching you get frustrated because she won’t unlock you and allow you to get off. Even if you really want to wear a chastity device and have your partner completely control your ability to ejaculate, you still need to consider how limiting it is if you ask for both at once.

If you are like me and get excited surrendering sexual control and find being physically restrained even hotter, you want both right from the start. I was lucky. Mrs. Lion was willing to lock me up and take control of my ejaculations. In the beginning it didn’t work out the way I thought it would. She decided that if she had control she would get me off every day. We had a talk about that. Her reasoning was perfect. She had control, therefore, if she wanted to see me ejaculate every day, then she would. If it weren’t for the fact that I was physically having a hard time doing this, it might still be going on today. In this case, the device is really not needed. Well maybe it was. I could hold onto the keys and stop her from wearing me out.

Some guys also wanted to be able to try to escape the device. Now they were asking their keyholders to indulge them in their escape artist fantasy as well. I think that most of the people who practice this simply try to escape. If they do succeed, they don’t get themselves off. They just tell her keyholder that they’re going to buy a new device that’s more secure.

I’m hoping that if you’re new to this very hot practice: enforced male chastity, that you can see your best chances of convincing a partner to be your keyholder is to limit your request to the most important single practice you would like to begin. If your partner enjoys bondage and would find it fun to lock your penis and keep the key, then by all means ask her to lock you up. My suggestion is not to ask her for anything else. It won’t take her long to realize that she can tease you by refusing any request you make to get out until she wants you to ejaculate.

Chances are very good if you start off asking for penis bondage, she will ask you why you want it. At that point you can tell her that it turns you on to lose your ability to play with yourself and you like bondage. She might then ask you what would be her role? You can then gently discuss keeping you frustrated. In this context, you are asking for penis bondage. She is considering how she might make use of it. The less you tell her about possible applications, the better off you will be. Let her discover for herself how she can use the power of holding your key. It takes patience and self-control for you to do this.

On the flip side, you might tell her about your sexual fantasies where she controls if and when you get to ejaculate. You can couch this conversation in terms of the practice of delaying your orgasm as a form of very exciting male foreplay. Don’t mention any hardware. Also, resist the temptation to explain in too much detail how you see this playing out. You might suggest that she tease you with normal foreplay and then have you focus on her sexual pleasure. You can suggest that you need not ejaculate each time the two of you have sex. I would strongly urge you to stop there. Let her figure out the rest. Again, I’m very sure she will discover ways to turn this into fun for her and you.

If you also want to wear chastity hardware, once the two of you have established a pattern of refusing you ejaculation at many sessions, you can talk to her about the idea of helping her maintain your abstinence by having you wear a chastity device. At that point you can tell her the idea turns you on.

In our case, Mrs. Lion was willing to lock me up and take control. I don’t think she was ever particularly fond of having to unlock me before any teasing or other sexual activity, and then locking me up again when she was done. She definitely enjoys teasing me and keeping me horny. When I was unable to stay locked up because of some medical activity, we both realized that the hardware was unnecessary for the part she likes. I was locked for three years before this medical need arose. By that time, I was completely trained not to masturbate.

In practice, if I am not in a cage, I can make myself hard. I can’t make myself ejaculate. Mrs. Lion is willing to let me occasionally get myself hard. If she thinks I’m doing it too often, I’m back in a cage. I think she considers that if I give myself erections once in a while, I’m simply helping to frustrate myself even more. She’s right. When I do that, the net effect is that I’m hornier. I’m truly not in any danger of getting myself off. If I let her know that I’m missing my chastity device, she will usually indulge me and lock me up again. Once I’m locked up, I have no input on if or when I might be allowed to run wild.

Without consciously trying, she’s managed to separate penis bondage from enforced male chastity. It’s her power over me that makes the chastity device unnecessary as a way of preventing me from masturbating. I wear a chastity device because I like penis bondage. Or, she can use it as a way of dealing with any idea that I get about masturbating.

Wearing a male chastity device and experiencing orgasm denial and control fit very well together. There’s no way to deny that. However, you can practice enforced male chastity without a chastity device. You can wear a chastity device without practicing orgasm denial and control. If you’re lucky, like me, your partner will be willing to initiate both if you ask. My suggestion is that you decide which of the two practices she might like better, and present that one all by itself while resisting the strong urge to tell her exactly how she should make use of the practice.

Too many of us, definitely me included, would like to write the script on how we want our partners to practice enforced male chastity. If you think about it you’ll quickly realize that doing this is going to be self-defeating. Give her the tools. Let her work out how she wants to use them.

By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

While I was writing my post yesterday, I was dealing with stomach pain. I thought maybe it was heartburn. I deal with pain on a daily basis, but it’s normally low-grade with some flares. This pain was second only to childbirth. After popping Gas-X and Tums, it finally eased after a few hours. I’ve had gas before. This was like an alien was trying to burst out of my gut just below my ribs.

Needless to say, I was not in any shape to play with Lion. I felt better but still not great. Lion made us some egg noodles for dinner. That’s our go-to meal for upset stomachs. I was able to clean up after dinner. I didn’t want to take any chances with being flat enough to snuggle. Of course, Lion understands when these things happen. He’s had enough issues with not feeling well.

Today, I can still feel the effects but I am determined to play with Lion tonight. He’s alerted me that it’s been ten days since his last orgasm. Naturally, that doesn’t sway me a bit. I don’t necessarily care how horny he is. I’ll edge him and decide if I should take pity on him. At this point, I’m not inclined to do so.

Lion also said he should probably have a spanking because he’s annoyed me so often lately. Hmmm…I think he’d like that spanking. Plus, the rules weren’t in effect. He can’t earn a punishment if the rules aren’t in effect. I suppose I could retroactively punish him, but that hardly seems fair. However, I don’t think he’ll go very long without a punishment. We are in the middle of moving, after all. I’m sure he’ll annoy me in the near future. It might even happen this afternoon. Not that he’ll really enjoy it, but I guess we can cross our fingers for a red Lion butt tonight.