By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Since enforced chastity is, at least in my case, a permanent state of affairs, it creates some interesting feelings in me. Most of the time I am unaware the device is even there. When naked, my normal state when home, my balls are pushed by the base ring in front of my body. As a result, I have to find a comfy place for them when I sit down. Mrs. Lion likes their prominence and often comments how nice they are always available to her. For my part, I have to always assure there is a comfortable resting place for their tender underside.  There are many little adjustments to make in order to make permanent chastity device wearing work.

I bought a bunch of new underwear until I could find some that accommodated the cage comfortably. I’ve learned to make slight adjustments as needed without looking like a baseball player grabbing his crotch. I think I have even adapted sexually. While I never got many unprovoked erections, they have nearly disappeared when the cage is locked on. Even the usual early morning erection seems to have disappeared. Of course, since my cage is so comfortable, erections never woke me from a sound sleep. It seems my penis has learned the futility of arousal while caged.

That doesn’t stop me from mental arousal and frustration. Unless I am fully occupied with an activity, my mind keeps wandering to how good it feels when Mrs. Lion rides me, sucks me, or plays with me. I count the days between each orgasm. I also count the days between teasing sessions. After all, teasing is most of my sex life now. I am edged at least twenty times for each orgasm I get. Another change I have made that puzzles me is the amount of noise I make during stimulation. For most of my life I have been almost silent during arousal and orgasm. Since being caged I am quite noisy. I hear myself making sounds that surprise me. I’m not trying to make them. They just happen. Maybe the edging has provoked them. My body is getting very frequent chances to experience the climb to ejaculation.

Before enforced chastity, orgasm was a simple, expected result of penile stimulation. Whether it was Mrs. Lion’s body, mouth, her hands, or my own; stimulation always climbed reliably to ejaculation. No surprises. No edging. Now, I have no expectation of ejaculating. The excitement builds and builds and builds, then stops without warning. Maybe I am learning to make the most of what I get. I certainly want the edging. I look forward to it. After all, I never know when  I will get an orgasm. The only route to one for me is to savor edging and hope for an ejaculating surprise.

I’m not sure I realized how routine orgasms were to me. Before caging, they were just part of sex. Get hard and come. That’s it. Times when I was teased without release were very rare. Of course I knew that once caged, I would have far fewer opportunities to ejaculate. Knowing and experiencing are very different. It took me a long time to finally internalize the fact that sex for me doesn’t usually include an orgasm. Without very regular teasing and edging, I think I would just push sex into the background until it became a fond memory. But since I am constantly reminded through teasing, this blog, and things Mrs. Lion says and writes, I can’t forget how much I want sex. The funny thing is that now when I think of sex for me, I think of edging. I don’t even consider ejaculation. It’s just so rare.

You may be thinking that it really isn’t that rare for me. I get to come every 7 to 15 days. Sometimes I may have to wait longer. But consider that I am teased and edged between 3 and 7 days a week. Each session, including those when I get an orgasm, contains at least two edging massages first. When I am unlocked and teased, the only reliable assumption is that I will be edged, not that I will ejaculate. When I have given Mrs. Lion orgasms, I remained in my cage and received no stimulation myself. I love those sessions. I get hard inside my cage when I can lick her. I can’t wait until she has her libido back. Prior to enforced chastity, I would have been disappointed if she didn’t provide me with an orgasm after she had hers. That no longer even crosses my mind. I suppose that makes me a better lover. My focus is no longer on the rush to ejaculate. I like this. What’s your experience with changes after being caged?

The one thing that sometimes concerns me is whether or not a change this basic to my male nature will have some side effects that leak out in other areas of my life. I’m no more submissive than I was before being caged, so that aspect of my personality is unchanged. That, in a way, is too bad. In some ways I am not surprised at these changes. They make sense in the context of the conditioning I am receiving. If we ever stopped enforced chastity, I suspect I won’t revert. I think these changes are permanent.

By:
In: Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

There’s no doubt about it, sex is a highly loaded topic. It has gigantic political and social loading. Kinks like enforced chastity push a lot of buttons. In my opinion, enforced chastity is not about sex at all. It’s about power. Now if you think that sex is politically and socially loaded, consider power. In the 70’s the mantra was sexual equality. Go back to the 50’s and it was “father knows best.” Socially acceptable power exchange is variable depending on where you are and who you talk with. Even in the heyday of women’s lib, the idea of female domination would raise eyebrows and incur political wrath.

Political correctness supplies a lot of fuel to sexual fantasy. In a world where men are expected to head the household, rich fantasies of male submission abound. Don’t believe that? Google “male submission”, “male slave”, and similar terms. There are endless fantasies guys have written. Chastity fantasies form a classic male fantasy genre. The Internet has made it very easy to read and write sexual fantasies. All this juicy reading got me thinking about enforced chastity. It simmered in my subconscious for fifteen years. During those years I reviewed chastity devices online. It was fun but too uncomfortable for me.

I was a hotbed of contradictions. I was a lifestyle dominant — I “owned” a BDSM slave for a decade. At the same time I imagined surrendering power to a strong woman who spanked me, tied me up,  and kept me in enforced chastity. I came to think of this contrast as my personal Yin and Yang. The longer I lived in the lion-as-dominant world, the stronger the submissive fantasies became. I had an advantage over most guys: I was actually living with a power exchange where I was dominant. That reality kept my fantasies from getting too extreme to ever work in real life. My fantasies were possible. I knew what could and couldn’t work. That was a big advantage.

About ten years ago my master/slave relationship ended. I met Mrs. Lion and we fell in love. She was as vanilla as they come. She never considered any of the stuff that I had been living for decades. Very fortunately, she is extremely intelligent and open minded. Within a few months of meeting, we were experimenting with spanking and other BDSM activities. Over time these activities tapered off. The reasons are buried in this blog if you are interested in digging them out. But the outcome was that we had a nearly sexless marriage. Fortunately, we are best friends and love each other more than anything, so sexual issues didn’t drive us apart. During those years, fantasy and masturbation were my sexual mainstays.

Over those years, my fantasies were very well developed so when I asked Mrs. Lion to take charge, I had a vivid movie playing in my head. Of course, the reality was nothing like my fantasies. For one thing, in my fantasy I earned my orgasms by giving Mrs. Lion many before being entitled to one. It turned out that Mrs. Lion doesn’t want orgasms right now and the she had little interest in my fantasy exchange. Most enforced chastity fantasies are filled with rules and rituals. Most keyholders are uninterested in reading the fantasy script. They want to manage things their way.

And herein lies the key to all this: A power exchange is surrender of power to someone else. Offering to surrender and then presenting the top with a list of exactly how things should work isn’t a power exchange at all. The “submissive” is in charge and expects his keyholder to follow his carefully crafted script. This doesn’t mean that keyholders don’t want suggestions. Most women take on the role to make their partners happy. They are interested in what their expectations might be. In the beginning they may even follow the script. But sooner or later they will either quit because acting out someone else’s fantasy 24/7 is just too much, or they will truly take charge and then things will happen their way. In the beginning, Mrs. Lion followed my suggestions. It didn’t take long for her to decide that she would be calling the shots. She still likes me to make suggestions, but I don’t expect them to be followed. That’s what power exchange is all about.

By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Sex

I’m not sure if it was the promise of being restrained and spanked that did it, but Lion has been horny this weekend. I wasn’t even planning on playing with him last night. As we snuggled it was apparent that he was interested. Naturally I obliged.

I edged him a few times. Technically last night was his scheduled night. I jumped the gun and gave him an orgasm Saturday night. He’s not usually so interested the next day. But here he was, horny and ready for action. What to do, what to do.

Of course I knew what to do. My goal is a happy Lion. I gave him another orgasm. Am I spoiling him? Since he never knows if I am just edging him or going all the way, and he doesn’t expect an orgasm, I don’t think he’s spoiled. He’s probably more spoiled by all the attention of nightly edgings than from a few orgasms close together.

Today we head home again. I’m sure the pressures will come crashing in around us again. I’ll try to maintain nightly play sessions, but I can’t force Lion to be horny. I can only offer and support him. It just makes sense to me to give Lion orgasms when he’s interested.

At some point, Lion will find a job, and eventually things will go back to normal. Then I might not be so generous. For now I’m willing to give him as many orgasms as I can.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Sex, Spanking

Quite often I don’t have no opinion on things. I can take it or leave it. I don’t care. There was an attraction I wanted to see. But it was 60 miles away. On one hand, we’re closer now than we’ve ever been or probably ever will be. On the other hand, I do all the driving when we’re away, so did I really feel like driving 60 miles. And back. What are the other options? We could go back to the camper and enjoy the river. We could go back to the camper and watch tv.

Lion likes adventure. So we drive. I drive. And we find things that no one else cares about. Sometimes it’s a fruit stand. Sometimes it’s an interesting rock formation. Sometimes it’s a small wildfire on the other side of the river. And then we go back to the camper and watch the river or tv.

Two things I have to keep in mind are that Lion doesn’t like sitting still for long and that he wants what he wants when he wants it. He was thirsty yesterday. “Boy, I’m thirsty.” “I wish there was someplace to get a drink.” “I thought we could stop there for a drink.” Sometimes he’s just a toddler about things. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it’s not. Yesterday it was not.

I hadn’t slept well, my stomach was fighting me, I was tired, and Lion wanted to go somewhere. Anywhere. Now he’ll say he’s willing to drive but when I ask him he tells me he’s not really up to it. So I drive. And if I’m driving I don’t necessarily want to make all the decisions. Especially if we’re not out there for me.

Well yesterday it did turn out that it was for me but only because we were headed toward the attraction that I wanted to see. And it’s only a little further and we’re more than halfway there now. So we went. And I’m glad we did, but I didn’t want to be the one who decided to go.

I know that’s infuriating for Lion. Why can’t she just make a decision? Jeez! My non-opinion concept creates few ripples for me. Pizza for dinner? (I had pizza for lunch.) Sure, pizza sounds good. Let’s go grocery shopping tonight. (I’m really tired.) Sure, we can do that. but I know it drives Lion crazy.

However, I did make one decision last night that Lion was a fan of. Even though I was tired, I kept my word about strapping him to the bed and spanking him. He had a good time. And despite getting the date wrong, I gave him a wonderful (if I do say so myself) oral orgasm. It should have been tonight. But who’s counting? He can have another one tonight if he’s up for it. The more the merrier.