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In: Bondage, Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex, Spanking

Do you ever read the right column of blogs? Mine, at least, contains extra information you may find useful. We show a list of recent posts and comments, a rundown of some blogs we find interesting, as well as my chastity and orgasm status. I habitually read the right columns of other blogs. Sometimes there is gold buried there. I like to see what other bloggers  list as blogs they like to read. I constantly change our list to reflect my current taste. Of course there are so many other great blogs out there. I read many of them too. Our right column list reflects my most consistent reading. I often check our blog to see if there are any new posts in one of the listed blogs.

It’s very satisfying to find kindred spirits out there. In some cases I’ve developed friendships which I treasure. As I’m sure you know, there is a lot more to life than enforced chastity and FLM. I am very grateful for the support we get for those other areas too. It means a lot to me.

One of the reasons we choose to write every day is our commitment to consistently report our kink as well as live it. We both read each other’s posts. For me that means I frequently get coming attractions of what is going to happen to me next. It gives me something to look forward to, or sometimes, to dread.  We also give and get daily feedback on our feelings and reactions to recent activities. It’s also valuable that we can refer back to prior posts to verify our memories and to track our progress. For me, at least, these posts have kept me honest and committed to male chastity and FLM.

It’s entirely too easy to withdraw when times get tough or when expectations haven’t been met. Daily posts make it very difficult to hide. If I try to gloss over something in my morning post, Mrs. Lion will call me on it (in the nicest possible way) later in the day. I don’t think this would happen as reliably without our blog. But it’s more than that. You provide very welcome feedback that helps us both.

I’m writing this post from our camper on the shore of the Columbia river. It’s Saturday night. According to Mrs. Lion’s post today, after my shower I can look forward to being tied down, spanked, and teased. We may also eat some ice-cold watermelon. If we eat it at the table, I may have some trouble sitting. Lately, we haven’t been playing much. Life intrudes into our fun.

Speaking of life, I continue to make most of the decisions for us. Sometimes this bothers me since in FLM, while I may be told to make some decisions, I’m not sure I should be expected to make almost all of them. I realize that Mrs. Lion is often indifferent to which option we pursue; like where to go sightseeing. It just annoys her to have to decide just to show her power. I don’t mind deciding. But then, how does she show her power over me? I think we need some way she can clearly assert her role without upsetting herself or worrying about upsetting me. In fact, is the only way to demonstrate power to deny the submissive something he wants? Is the only understandable expression of power being able to say “no”?

Power exchanges like ours need more than an agreement to surrender and accept control. Certainly, Mrs. Lion has demonstrated her sexual control continuously. I have learned that my orgasms are completely under her control. She enforces my lockup in a chastity device and gives me almost no choice about sexual activity. I accept her control at a very deep level.

Maybe this sexual control is the only domination for us at this time. Or, like enforced chastity, perhaps we need a lot more time and some ideas to help us accelerate our FLM. We both need to get comfortable with any power exchange we continue. If Mrs. Lion feels pressured by making decisions she would rather give to me, then it won’t work for her. Similarly, if I don’t have something that will remind me that I am not in control, it won’t work for me either.

Most of the time when we hit an impasse like this, Mrs. Lion says she will do better. But “better” means she will do something that will make her uncomfortable in order to help me. I don’t want that. We need to work out something together. Since we have a pretty good track record and we are best friends, I am confident we will find a way that works for both of us. Lion taming isn’t easy and requires a firm hand and a lot of patience. Mrs. Lion has both.

 

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Femdom, Keyholder, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Male Control (training), Sex

Mrs. Lion and I have gone back and forth about rewards. She favors Good Lion Coupons. These coupons entitle me to redeem them for a specific treat. Her early efforts yielded coupons that I could trade for orgasms. I never redeemed them. I felt it violated the basic power exchange if I could come anytime I redeemed a coupon. True, I only had a few of those, but still it bothers me. After we got back from our trip, Mrs. Lion presented me with new coupons. This time there is no opportunity to redeem one for an orgasm when I choose. These coupons preserve her power.

One type is for restrained play of my choice. She knows I like to be tied down either on the bed or in the sling. This is, of course, extra work for her. So her coupon allows me to add bondage to a play session. She has to say that there will be a play session. Then I can redeem my coupon. The other coupon does relate to orgasms. I now have a coupon that I can redeem for the orgasm of my choice on my scheduled date. Since I don’t know when that is, I imagine I need to redeem it in advance and then when she decides it is time for me to come, she will do it the way I chose. I already know what I want when the time comes, but will wait before presenting the coupon.

These coupons add interest to our FLM as well as enforced chastity. Some people think that FLM means punishment for failing to obey or do what was ordered. It’s true. That is part of it. But what about rewards? Rewards are a great way to reinforce desired behaviors, but many female led marriages don’t have any real provision for them. Not getting punished is not a reward. For a reward to be useful, the person getting it needs to know what he did to earn the reward (reinforcement!) and what the reward is. In FLM where any good stuff could be considered a reward, Mrs. Lion’s coupons offer a very substantial behavioral reinforcement by providing a tangible item that both says what I did to deserve the goody and what that goody is.  I got my orgasm-of-my-choice coupon for cooking all the time. Nice! The restrained play coupons (there are two of them) were issued for two reasons: One was for going on the trip to visit her daughter. The other is for doing so much around the house.

Since all three coupons are for things I want, you can be sure I will try to earn more. Does it mean that the only way I can have restrained play is by redeeming a coupon? I don’t think so. Mrs. Lion will tie me up when she wants. But my coupon gets me tied up when I want. Big difference. I think she has hit on a great way to recognize good behavior. I’m going to work hard to earn more coupons.

By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Rewards, Ruined orgasm, Sex

Yesterday I drove all four hours home. Lion offered to drive, but I was doing fine so I kept going. On some of the longer trips he drives about halfway because, let’s face it, highway driving can be a big snore. Later in the afternoon Lion took a cat nap. I watched him sleep. He looks so cute when he’s softly snoring away. A little later it was my turn for a nap. And, of course, he had his Jeopardy nap.

I finally sat down and wrote out some Good Lion coupons. One was for deleting one punishment from his list. I knew he needed that coupon last night because it was 8:30 when I handed it to him and he hadn’t reminded me that last night was punishment night. Yeah. I probably cheated with that one, but I did give him one for his choice of orgasm on his scheduled night. And he got two for restrained play of his choice. He liked them all and immediately redeemed the punishment one. He had forgotten what day of the week it was and didn’t remember until I’d pointed it out to him. Oopsy.

When I asked for the Lion weather report he said he was pretty horny. What a pleasant surprise! I like having a horny Lion. I was able to successfully edge him a few times. Then I decided, since he was horny, he should have a real orgasm. Not the ruined orgasms that I’ve been giving him by accident. A full orgasm. I probably should have teased him a little more, but I didn’t want to risk going too far before I was ready to go all the way. I’m pretty sure it was a surprise to him. It wasn’t his scheduled night, but I figured with everything that’s been going on, I had to strike while the Lion was horny. And he doesn’t know when his scheduled night is anyway.

The wild Lion has been successfully captured and re-caged. Maybe tonight I will unlock him again and tend to his manscaping. It’s been quite a while since I’ve done it. He’s pretty unkempt. He doesn’t like it that way. I tease him that I will have to get out the hedge clippers. I think it’s ironic that he likes me hairy and himself bare. Many men prefer their wives/girlfriends bare and wouldn’t dream of manscaping. I don’t mind if Lion is hairy or bare. I’m just glad he doesn’t expect me to go through all the trouble of making myself bare for him.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

This weekend we will be making an unexpected trip to join Mrs. Lion’s daughter. This is very exciting for my lioness. She’s been unable to cross the country to see her kids for a couple of years. It’s nice to see her so excited. My libido is gone again. It’s worry, I’m sure. However, Wednesday night I did have a ruined orgasm. Each time I experience a ruined orgasm, I immediately lose my erection. Mrs. Lion and I assume that means I am done for a while. It certainly feels that way to me. However, I keep reading that guys have four or more ruined orgasms in a row. I wonder if I can too.

My reaction after I get the feeling I am over the edge and Mrs. Lion stops stimulating me is a bunch of spasms. Usually, no semen appears just then. A few seconds later I wilt. At that point some semen drips out. If Mrs. Lion stops right after I cross that point of no return, there is very little liquid. As I get soft, my interest in more sex drifts away. What is the secret of multiple ruined orgasms? What are we missing?

Edging, on the other hand, doesn’t result in loss of erection. I may lose a bit of the almost-painful hardness, but I am at attention and ready for more. I expected a similar reaction to ruined orgasms. One of my online friends suggested that there is a technique involving waiting that allows multiples. What is her secret? Is there something I have to do?

Of course I truly dislike ruined orgasms. But the masochist in me wants to experience multiples. Edging isn’t a great deal of fun either, but it is way less frustrating. Orgasm control is a powerful form of domination. It doesn’t require a chastity device, though I like the continual reminder of who’s in charge that it provides. In a way, the chastity device is my fetish, but the orgasm control is all hers. Beyond the aesthetics of seeing me locked up, the device has no real effect on my lioness. However, I think she probably feels a sense of power controlling my most primal force. In a very real sense the ruined orgasm is the ultimate expression of this control. It takes my seed and at the same time reminds me of the pleasure I can’t have. That’s the ultimate in orgasm control.