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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Orgasm, Punishment, Sex, Spanking

I like what Mrs. Lion’s wrote in her post yesterday. It started me thinking about exactly what I care about in terms of getting off. When I am in the process of being teased and edged, coming moves front and center in my mind. At that time I really want to come and will do anything to convince her to finally let me ejaculate. At other times my interest goes from no interest at all to active fantasies that envision an orgasm.

When it comes to being made to wait for an orgasm, I am as torn about how long is the right length as is Mrs. Lion. It isn’t a matter of how long I can wait. I’m sure I won’t turn into a puddle of desire no matter how long I go without coming. More likely, the longer the wait, the less interested I will grow. Other guys have reported this. Yes, the teasing is amazing and I love it. It can become an end in and of itself. One reason I asked if I could know my next orgasm date is that I can look forward to it. In a very real sense it keeps my desire growing during the time it would normally wane. In her post, Mrs. Lion said,

“Depending on how he handles his knowledge of the scheduled date, I may wait the full amount. It’s up to him. And not in the he’s-calling-the-shots way, but in the how-much-does-he-whine way.”

Does this mean that if I whine enough, Mrs. Lion will give me an early orgasm? I hope not. For me, at least part of the “fun” of waiting is being able to do some whining about how much I want to come. If Mrs. Lion reacts to this by giving me an early orgasm, she’s misunderstanding my complaints. A certain amount of “poor lion is so horny” is part of the game. On every level there is no imperative to get me off early. The way I feel is quite simply that it isn’t how long I have to wait. What counts to me is that Mrs. Lion is in total control and I can’t influence when she will let me come. That’s true if my wait is five days or 500. The thrill is loss of control; of knowing that my release is 100% at Mrs. Lion’s whim.

In the past I’ve felt that I’ve gotten some orgasms because I whined about needing one so badly. I winced a little inside when that resulted in a handjob to orgasm. I don’t want it to be up to me. I want it to be up to her. That’s what makes things so exciting. I suspect that Mrs. Lion worries that she isn’t making me happy when I am in distress because I want an orgasm. I think that is why she said that whether I go the full time or not is up to me. The one thing I want is that it isn’t up to me at all. I think she should enjoy my distress, not feel badly about it. If the mood strikes her to make me ejaculate, then she should.

This is just like spanking. She works hard to spank me hard enough and long enough to make her point. I know she doesn’t want to hurt me. Perhaps the fact that she is doing something she doesn’t want to do could motivate her to be more severe; punish me for making her feel badly for hurting me. I think that part of the problem here is that I initiated enforced chastity and FLM. Mrs. Lion does it for my benefit. I think that she feels she isn’t succeeding if I’m not having fun.

To be completely clear, I’m not suggesting longer waits. I’m also not suggesting shorter ones. I’m not saying that I should be spanked more soundly. What I am saying is that I asked Mrs. Lion to take charge, sexually and otherwise. I have given her ideas about how I see it working. I think she evaluates her performance on  how much I like what she does. In my opinion, that’s a mistake. She should judge how well her punishments work by observing if my behavior improves. If not, I probably need the volume turned up. In terms of enforced chastity, I think that she is most successful when she makes sure I have no control over when I get to come. Whining about being very horny should be greeted with a laugh, or if I am annoying, added days to my scheduled release. What will make me truly happy is learning that I have absolutely no control over things. That is what a power exchange is all about.

[ Mrs. Lion — It was supposed to be a contrast. It’s up to Lion how long he waits based not on his calling the shots (topping from the bottom), but on how much toddler activity there is. Tantrums and snarky behavior will not earn Lion a speedier orgasm; he’ll earn at least an additional two days to his wait.  A certain amount of whining is to be expected. Too much ceases to be cute. Whine at your own risk, Lion!]

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Keyholder, Keyholder101, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

I’ve made frequent reference to other guys who take great pride in how long they wait for their orgasms and how different I am. It’s true that I get no pleasure thinking about  how long I have held out. But I don’t like it when I get an orgasm because I tell Mrs. Lion I really want one. For me, at least, what I truly want is the power exchange. So, if I get to come because Mrs. Lion knows I am really horny, it feels a bit like topping from the bottom. On the other hand, extending my wait doesn’t feel to me like more control over my sexuality. I think that’s where I am different from some of the other guys. More desperation doesn’t equate with feeling more submissive. I know this feels like a problem for Mrs. Lion: give him an orgasm and he feels that he is topping; don’t give him one for a long time and he still doesn’t feel submissive. It sounds like a lose/lose.

Mrs. Lion wrote about reconsidering letting me know when I might come again. At first, I really didn’t like the idea. Not knowing does add some spice to the game, but then I gave it more thought. If the earliest date I can orgasm is announced in advance, I can’t claim that I am topping from the bottom when I finally do get that orgasm. My expectation is set for the scheduled date. If Mrs. Lion decides to give me a bonus orgasm, it won’t feel like topping from the bottom because I am convinced my next orgasm is engraved in stone. If Mrs. Lion decides to extend the scheduled date as part of a punishment, I will feel it strongly because I have been looking forward to the announced date.

There is a key phrase in my thinking about a schedule: “not before”. That means there is no guarantee that on the appointed date I will actually get to come, just that I have no hope before that date. That keeps the uncertainty under Mrs. Lion’s control. I realize that if she sets a schedule, Mrs. Lion is more likely to make my waits longer. It just seems to work that way. I’m not happy about that. Right now, I’m not too happy about waiting for many days or weeks. I’m also not too happy about anything. Financially, things are coming to a head. I only have one more unemployment check, and it will be for about half of the previous payment. We have no savings. I have a series of job interviews for a company in a couple of days. I’m worried that they will think I am too old. I’m pretty sure this is why I haven’t had much luck yet. So that reality definitely colors all of my thoughts and feelings.

When it comes to my orgasms, I’m beginning to think that wanting them can be more fun than having them. Well, maybe not. But when the time comes for my orgasm I know I really enjoy a big buildup and uncertainty right to the point of no return whether or not this is It. I’ve noticed that after a long wait, my orgasm actually hurts. Others have reported this too. If the wait is too short, the orgasm is very nice but less, well, climatic. All this varies considerably each time. The more buildup, the more exciting. Or, in the case of a long wait, potentially more painful. It doesn’t hurt every time I ejaculate after a long wait (over 10 days), but about 25% of the time it does. If I get another orgasm the next day, it feels really good. I rationalize this by thinking that my body lost it’s sexual tone and after a chance to ejaculate uncomfortably, is restored. I have no idea if this is true. I only know that I never have a painful orgasm if I come every few days (3 days to about a week). I know that other guys have written about this as well. This in no way should affect how Mrs. Lion schedules my ejaculations; just sayin’ this is what seems to happen with me.

While on the subject of feeling Mrs. Lion’s control, it is both exciting and frustrating when she says no to me. This, I know is very difficult for her. In a way it’s like a play spanking; I get aroused thinking about getting one, and aroused remembering it, but hate it while it is being administered. To be clear, I get no feelings of arousal or anticipation for punishment. I just hate those spankings and try my best to avoid them. On those occasions Mrs. Lion spanks me right after I do something wrong, I feel her power acutely. Even if the spanking is for a silly rule, like not dropping food or ice cubes, the immediate response sends my brain the unmistakable message that she is in complete control. If she goes back to announcing orgasm dates and I do something that warrants it, letting me know then and there that the date has moved sends a very powerful message to me. Without an announced date, telling me I have to wait longer has no real effect since I had no anticipation of any specific chance to come. I guess I am asking for a return to scheduled orgasm days. They provide a continuous reminder that I don’t get a vote on when I can come.

By:
In: Edging, Male Chastity, Mrs Lion Comments, Sex

That has a few meanings for us lately. You all know about our financial problems and why don’t we just shut up about that already. I agree. I’m talking about edging Lion. He’s been a very horny boy lately and, rather than give him orgasms, I’ve decided to return to edging him. Not that I didn’t edge him before each orgasm, but I mean just edging him. Stopping just short of his promised land, so to speak.

He made a comment the other day that it’s possible to have too many orgasms. He wanted to wait. I thought I was being nice. I was taking pity on him because if nothing else seems to be going right, at least he could have an orgasm. He didn’t think I was not being nice. He just voiced an opinion. And I know he likes to wait sometimes, although he’s not a fan of an extended wait. I think 21 days is the longest he’s waited. That’s a mini wait for some caged males. Not even the blink of an eye. So far he’s been waiting five days and, if memory serves, he’s got quite a while to wait till his next scheduled orgasm. It certainly won’t happen tonight. But he will get edged.

Today is manscaping day. I’ll unlock him and get rid of all that extra fuzz cluttering up my play area. He’ll be hair free from belly button down and around back to his buns. While he’s wild, I usually play with him a bit. Sometimes it’s just a quick feel. Other times it’s a full edging. When he’s very horny, it takes very little touching to get Mr. Weenie to full attention. If the mood strikes me I can be very mean to my pet and ignore him altogether. Just let his erection fade into the sunset without even acknowledging it. I can do my trimming and hand him his ring to put on when he’s able to. But what fun would that be? Ignore him? No, no, no. I want to let him know I see his dilemma and I can help. Of course, by helping I know I’ll only make it worse. Because, you see, he said he wants to wait. Silly boy.

So if I do actually play with him (and why wouldn’t I?) while I manscape him, then I might even decide to edge him again tonight. Double whammy! Poor Lion. I can hear him grumbling already.

By:
In: Keyholder, Keyholder101, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Tuesday night Mrs. Lion gave me a great orgasm. I only had a two day wait, but was massively horny. I have no idea why my hormones were so active but I am very grateful for the relief. My sweet lioness’ style of enforced chastity is purely her own and suits us perfectly. For the record, both of us are very upset about the Midwestern dentist who murdered a beloved lion in South Africa. Where is the death penalty when we need it? I certainly hope he never hunts or drills teeth again.

I thought that my interest in sex was tied to my worries about money. Last weekend and Tuesday proves that isn’t true. I’m more worried than ever, but my sex drive has new life. I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised. The imperative to reproduce has to trump everything else for the species to survive. But still, I am surprised and half expect my interest in sex to disappear as suddenly as it reappeared.

The vast majority of my sexual activity is provided by Mrs. Lion’s hands. This is probably due to her currently eclipsed libido. She has been more concerned about that lately. It isn’t because she misses sex. She’s made it clear that she doesn’t. She now understands how much I love to give her pleasure and for that reason she is considering what she can do to get her mojo back. This both pleases and worries me. She has avoided seeing a doctor because money is so tight. So, at least for the time being, help is unavailable. The last thing I want is for her to feel that she is making me unhappy. She isn’t.

Our situation is unusual in the world of enforced chastity. Most keyholders love the increased sexual pleasure that locking their males provide. It isn’t unusual for a keyholder to have twenty or more orgasms for every one her male gets. This is in sharp contrast to vanilla relationships where the woman is lucky to get as many orgasms as she gives. I used to think that the idea of converting male sexual energy into providing orgasms for his keyholder was largely fantasy. In fact, it is a typical male fantasy, but it’s one that usually comes true.

Girls are conditioned to downplay their sexual needs. This is partly to reduce the chances for unwanted pregnancy. It’s also cultural. You know, “good girls” don’t do it. Women’s lib didn’t entirely erase this conditioning. Even in marriage, many women report finding it difficult to give in to their carnal desires. When her husband introduces the idea of enforced chastity, the spotlight turns on her sexual satisfaction. This isn’t always comfortable for her. Males starting out in enforced chastity are usually so blinded by the excitement of being locked up, that they don’t see the struggle it is causing his keyholder.

We males tend to think that our partners share our enthusiasm for sex. They often don’t. Since a big part of the enforced chastity fantasy is transferring the male’s sexual needs to his partner’s satisfaction, the pressure on his keyholder to “perform” can be terrible. As Mrs. Lion is fond of saying, “baby steps” are the way to approach this transfer of sexual activity. It takes time, sometimes a long time, for a woman to make the transition from sexually passive to the active, sexually-hungry woman the caged male desires.

As we are still discovering, enforced chastity is a process. It only starts with the chastity device. Once the decision is made to begin, it takes a long time for the changes to complete. In our case, the sexual training has been just for me; but there is time, lots of time.