I like what Mrs. Lion’s wrote in her post yesterday. It started me thinking about exactly what I care about in terms of getting off. When I am in the process of being teased and edged, coming moves front and center in my mind. At that time I really want to come and will do anything to convince her to finally let me ejaculate. At other times my interest goes from no interest at all to active fantasies that envision an orgasm.
When it comes to being made to wait for an orgasm, I am as torn about how long is the right length as is Mrs. Lion. It isn’t a matter of how long I can wait. I’m sure I won’t turn into a puddle of desire no matter how long I go without coming. More likely, the longer the wait, the less interested I will grow. Other guys have reported this. Yes, the teasing is amazing and I love it. It can become an end in and of itself. One reason I asked if I could know my next orgasm date is that I can look forward to it. In a very real sense it keeps my desire growing during the time it would normally wane. In her post, Mrs. Lion said,
“Depending on how he handles his knowledge of the scheduled date, I may wait the full amount. Its up to him. And not in the hes-calling-the-shots way, but in the how-much-does-he-whine way.”
Does this mean that if I whine enough, Mrs. Lion will give me an early orgasm? I hope not. For me, at least part of the “fun” of waiting is being able to do some whining about how much I want to come. If Mrs. Lion reacts to this by giving me an early orgasm, she’s misunderstanding my complaints. A certain amount of “poor lion is so horny” is part of the game. On every level there is no imperative to get me off early. The way I feel is quite simply that it isn’t how long I have to wait. What counts to me is that Mrs. Lion is in total control and I can’t influence when she will let me come. That’s true if my wait is five days or 500. The thrill is loss of control; of knowing that my release is 100% at Mrs. Lion’s whim.
In the past I’ve felt that I’ve gotten some orgasms because I whined about needing one so badly. I winced a little inside when that resulted in a handjob to orgasm. I don’t want it to be up to me. I want it to be up to her. That’s what makes things so exciting. I suspect that Mrs. Lion worries that she isn’t making me happy when I am in distress because I want an orgasm. I think that is why she said that whether I go the full time or not is up to me. The one thing I want is that it isn’t up to me at all. I think she should enjoy my distress, not feel badly about it. If the mood strikes her to make me ejaculate, then she should.
This is just like spanking. She works hard to spank me hard enough and long enough to make her point. I know she doesn’t want to hurt me. Perhaps the fact that she is doing something she doesn’t want to do could motivate her to be more severe; punish me for making her feel badly for hurting me. I think that part of the problem here is that I initiated enforced chastity and FLM. Mrs. Lion does it for my benefit. I think that she feels she isn’t succeeding if I’m not having fun.
To be completely clear, I’m not suggesting longer waits. I’m also not suggesting shorter ones. I’m not saying that I should be spanked more soundly. What I am saying is that I asked Mrs. Lion to take charge, sexually and otherwise. I have given her ideas about how I see it working. I think she evaluates her performance on how much I like what she does. In my opinion, that’s a mistake. She should judge how well her punishments work by observing if my behavior improves. If not, I probably need the volume turned up. In terms of enforced chastity, I think that she is most successful when she makes sure I have no control over when I get to come. Whining about being very horny should be greeted with a laugh, or if I am annoying, added days to my scheduled release. What will make me truly happy is learning that I have absolutely no control over things. That is what a power exchange is all about.
[ Mrs. Lion It was supposed to be a contrast. It’s up to Lion how long he waits based not on his calling the shots (topping from the bottom), but on how much toddler activity there is. Tantrums and snarky behavior will not earn Lion a speedier orgasm; he’ll earn at least an additional two days to his wait. A certain amount of whining is to be expected. Too much ceases to be cute. Whine at your own risk, Lion!]