By:
In: Edging, Female led relationship with discipline, Male Control (training), Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Sex, Spanking

Technically two unless you count the ruined orgasm Friday. Yesterday, less than a day from an orgasm, Lion said he was really horny again. Maybe he is a goldfish too.

We were relaxing in the bedroom in the afternoon. He’d reminded me earlier that it was punishment night. He asked me what was on his list. I told him he was supposed to remember. He said he only remembered reminding me about maintenance spanking night and he was only a half hour late. As I recall, I reminded him. And I wondered if missing it by only a half hour was supposed to get him half a punishment. He said he has nothing to do with the punishment part. Very true. He had also interrupted me a few times, which I hadn’t asked him to remember. Plus the biggie of embarrassing me but I didn’t count that one. Depending on his behavior next weekend I may have to punish him retroactively. I did remind him that he holds the key to the punishments. If he obeys then he doesn’t get punished. All he has to do is be a good Lion. Simple, right?

He made the mistake of rolling over while we were laying there and I asked if he was offering his butt to me because he was ready for his punishment. He rolled back over and said no. Too late! I got a mean paddle and swatted those cute buns very hard ten times. To his credit, he did not move. He didn’t even yell into the pillow. He was a very good boy.

A little while later I started massaging his balls and stroking him. Mr. Weenie was at full attention in no time. How could he be so horny the day after an orgasm? There’s really no rhyme or reason to it. I edged him a few times. He was bucking away. I decided that even though he had come about 24 hours before, I hadn’t tasted it. He’d had his fun of ejaculating inside me. Now it was my turn to have fun. I gave him a hand job and enjoyed every drop of Lion creme filling.

By:
In: Edging, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Ruined orgasm, Sex

Yesterday, after we spent a few hours wandering around the fake Bavarian village (I know it sounds tacky,, but actually it is genuinely quaint). we returned to our RV for a bit of rest before dinner. I got naked and lay down on the bed and started watching a DVD of some old “Magnum PI” shows. Mrs. Lion joined me. She started to do some nice petting. I didn’t immediately get hard. With some determination, she got a good rise out of me.

It felt amazing. Before long I was bucking and ready to come. She stopped just a second too late and I had a ruined orgasm. She said that wasn’t her intention. She only wanted to edge me. But, alas, I was too quick for her. That ended the festivities. She did mention that she plans to give me an orgasm today. I will love that if she remains in that generous frame of mind.

One thing that bothers me: I don’t seem able to recover after a ruined orgasm for more stimulation. Is it my age? Is it something we need to do? I don’t know. I do know that there is absolutely no reason why I need to go through a full refractory period after an essentially semen-free ruined orgasm. Mrs. Lion should be able to have me up and ready after only a minimal delay. Maybe you can give us some pointers. We both would like it if a ruined orgasm could be followed by more edging or another ruined orgasm.

Even though we’ve been doing this for over a year and a half, there is a lot about my sexuality we need to learn. Orgasm control is an art. By its very nature, it is an art practiced by my lioness. I am her sexual canvas. It feels to me like her color palette needs expanding in order to fully express her control over me. It appears that every keyholder has to learn what to do by trial and error. That’s really a shame.

About fifteen years ago at a BDSM event there was a male masturbation workshop. It was directed at the males’ partners. It was hands on, by the way. I participated. Well, my penis did. A very talented gay man demonstrated a technique and then had the partners practice it on their males. I was very aroused and can’t say I learned much. Of course, I was just there as a lab specimen. It was big fun for me. By the way, none of the males were allowed to ejaculate. The hour ended with twenty super hard and horny guys struggling into their clothes. We all left the room with noticeable bulges.

I recognize that this sort of workshop isn’t practical for orgasm control. There really isn’t any active organization of people practicing enforced chastity and orgasm control. Also, we are all very far from each other. On top of that, how many couples would be willing to attend classes like this? My guess is very few. That’s too bad.

It seems to me that the Internet is our friend in this. If some accomplished women (or men) would record a how-to video on edging, ruined orgasm, teasing, etc. we could reduce the learning curve for orgasm control. I’ve done a lot of searching; poor me searching through all that porn, to find anything of value. Sadly, nothing has come to light. And if you care,  almost everything I looked at was more turn-off than turn-on.

I keep thinking that if Mrs. Lion and I could watch other couples successfully induce multiple ruined orgasms, or demonstrate teasing techniques, our own orgasm control would benefit. YouTube and Vimeo won’t allow explicit videos, but there are enough of us with blogs to provide platforms for these educational recordings. I have one here that demonstrates a teasing session. I like the dialogue and the way the keyholder controls the situation. It’s a real life couple who decided to record this event and share it. Since it’s easy to remain anonymous and still show everything needed, there isn’t much risk to making one of these.

Maybe this is an insane idea. But I know we would benefit from this kind of education. Of course, a live workshop would be best, but that has absolutely no chance of happening, at least for now. What do you think? Any volunteers?

By:
In: Keyholder, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

The typical fantasy about enforced chastity is that the keyholder obtains and then locks a chastity device on her male. In real life this just doesn’t happen. Enforced chastity and orgasm control is almost always initiated by the male. Sometimes the couple selects and orders the chastity device together. More often, the guy orders it. In a lot of cases, the guy is responsible for locking and unlocking and removing the device. The keyholder retains the key and gives it to him when she wants him to take it off. In other cases, like ours, Mrs. Lion removes and puts on my cage. She lets me remove and replace the base ring, but I never touch the cage. This may seem like an unimportant distinction, but I think it can make a big difference.

If the male is the one who puts on, takes off, and stores the device, there is a tacit sense of ownership. He may be obeying orders to put it on or remove it, but it remains in his possession. That doesn’t automatically mean that he believes he is in control of his chastity, but it is an assumption it is easy to make. The other side of this is that the keyholder doesn’t demonstrate ownership of the chastity device. She may unconditionally own his orgasms and arousals, but she is indirectly saying that the cage is a device he can use to support his orgasm control.

This may seem like nit picking, but I don’t think it is. For a lot of guys, just wearing a chastity device that they can’t remove is very hot. It affects me that way. It’s bondage that can be in place 24/7. It forcibly prevents me from arousal or sexual activity. I have no say in it. The cage is implacable. That’s hot. The keyholder may not see it that way at all. She may wholeheartedly adopt orgasm control, but she may not find the chastity device particularly exciting. To her, it may just be a tool to keep her male honest. Or, she might think of it as something he wants to do. She accepts the control of his sexuality, but doesn’t strongly associate that control with the chastity device. She expects her male to keep hands and other things off, device or not.

That brings me to the most important point: If you were the keyholder, how would you feel about controlling a guy who requires an escape-proof cage in order for him to stay chaste? I know I wouldn’t like it a bit. Since enforced chastity is a power exchange, the person who has the power doesn’t usually want a new career policing the submissive. Mrs. Lion expects me to be obedient; especially in terms of enforced chastity. Caged or not, I know that I can’t arouse myself or get off. She owns my penis and my sexuality. Locked or not, that’s true.

For us the cage is important; not because it assures I won’t masturbate, but because it is an unmistakable symbol that she owns my sexuality. The fact that the cage prevents me from taking any sexual action reminds her that she needs to stay aware of my needs and provide the stimulation she feels is appropriate. As long as I am locked up, she knows I absolutely depend on her. That knowledge helps her sustain the effort she needs to put in. I like to be locked up. The bondage aspect turns me on. The cage also reminds me that I have to ask for any sexual release. It also reminds me of our FLM and that I need to ask for pretty much everything. I truly like the bondage aspect. It is very arousing for me to feel helpless. That’s why I love it when Mrs. Lion ties me to the bed.

I’m currently wild (uncaged). Mrs. Lion has unlocked me for the trip we are beginning today. She does it because it is awkward and messy for me to pee (even sitting) in the RV. She also likes the easier access on vacation. I don’t miss the cage right now, but by the middle of next week when we return I will be more than ready to return to it. The cage is clearly hers. I don’t put it on or take it off. She maintains custody when it is off. I do clean it and I put on and take off the base ring, at least for now. If she is willing, I would like her to handle that too.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

There are a lot of sexual generalizations out there. One is that men are always ready for sex. All a woman has to do is show mild interest and the man is ready to go. This generalization has led to a rich mythology that over the centuries has turned into fact. For example, almost every American girl is taught that she should avoid anything sexually exciting with a boy or she will be expected to “go all the way” with him. Later she learns that “all the way” can mean jerking him off or giving him oral sex. Girls who turn boys on and then don’t follow through are called “cock teases”. This is a serious insult. Any contact with male genitals is expected to end in ejaculation, unless you are a cock tease.

These early lessons affect behavior long after sex has become a routine part of life. How many wives avoid sexual contact when they don’t want intercourse? How many find it acceptable to tease their husbands and withhold orgasm? How many men buy into these myths? To some degree, we are all affected by these early lessons. One reason that enforced chastity is such a rich source of hot, male fantasies is that it features the taboo female behavior of tease with no ejaculation.

It goes much further than this. I think that traditional beliefs about sexual behavior suggest that male orgasm is the primary objective of sexual contact. Until the mid-twentieth century, women had no expectation of orgasms for themselves. The sexual revolution helped change that expectation. Women now expect and assure that they get orgasms. Despite these evolutionary steps, the vast majority of women believe that if they stimulate a penis, they have to assure it ejaculates. Many worry that if they don’t provide enough release for their males, that they will go elsewhere for sex. Sexually, it’s still a man’s world.

There are very few men who don’t masturbate. Single or married, young or old, men give themselves orgasms on a regular basis. Even guys with very active sex lives feel the need to jerk off. Study after study from Kinsey to Masters and Johnson verify this behavior. Before enforced chastity, I masturbated regularly, between one and three times a week. When the mood struck, if I was alone, I’d rub one out. Why we do it is unclear. Perhaps it keeps the plumbing active. Maybe it helps meet some emotional need. I have no idea. However, self gratification reinforces the belief that we males own our sexual pleasure and with or without partners, we will have it.

Some of us have fantasies in which we lose our sexual power. A powerful female removes our ability to ejaculate. She locks our penises in a device that prevents any stimulation. Sex is impossible. Masturbation is inaccessible. We are put in a sexual desert where only one person has the key that will let us get off. This is clearly a power fantasy. It’s similar to another, more common one (over 70% of males share it) where we are tied to the bed and a woman has her way with us. Those fantasies generally end with ejaculation, but the theme is loss of power. Both fantasies are very arousing and they generally end in masturbation. That’s how it worked for me, at least.

When I decided I wanted to make the fantasies come true and Mrs. Lion agreed, we both made some difficult changes. For my part, I am physically prevented from any self stimulation. Masturbation has become a distant memory. The last time I masturbated was a few days after I began wearing the chastity device. Mrs. Lion wanted to watch me jerk off. Since then I have not been permitted any self stimulation. Since then, I am teased regularly and brought to the edge of orgasm with no ejaculation; teased, edged, and locked up again. For months  after we started I went through a predictable pattern: After an orgasm, my arousal would grow rapidly every day. By the fifth day I was climbing the walls. On the sixth day I was grumpy and cranky with frustration. On the days after that I would remain very horny but not feeling the urgent need for orgasm. After a year, I stopped feeling grumpy on the sixth day. My arousal grew more slowly. I lost my expectation that I would get an orgasm just because I was horny. I have pretty much forgotten about masturbation.

Mrs. Lion has had to unlearn her early conditioning. She has learned that the normal pattern of sex is that she gets orgasms when she wants them and that I only get them when she wants to give one to me. She’s learned that it is more than OK to tease me and bring me to the edge of coming over and over with no expectation of ejaculating. She has learned to enjoy my frustration. In our house, sexual norms have done a 180-degree turn. Now if Mrs. Lion is aroused, the expectation is that she will always get an orgasm if she wishes. I don’t expect to get an orgasm despite the length or intensity of sexual activity. Instead of expecting an orgasm after every contact with my penis, I have learned to accept and enjoy the stimulation without hope of ejaculating.

If I get to ejaculate I consider it a rare gift from Mrs. Lion. Her hands or other body parts are the only flesh that can touch my penis. It really belongs to her. Even I can’t touch it sexually. Occasionally, she holds my penis and I am allowed to “buck” until I am at the edge, then she opens her hand and I am fucking air. Ocasionally she hangs on and I am allowed to make myself come by fucking her hand (video of a guy bucking to orgasm NSFW). I’ve been conditioned to not enjoy my own touch. She can leave me uncaged for days and I will never give myself an erection. I am not sure I can if I want to try. Erections belong to her. The conditioning that continuous orgasm control has provided, changed me, perhaps permanently. Does all this make me less of a male? I don’t think so. I’m just different now.