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In: Edging, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Yesterday, my post discussed possible ways to determine minimum and maximum wait times. Mrs. Lion in her post mentioned that I offered so many different opinions that it’s a good thing she does the picking of wait times. My intention yesterday wasn’t to offer her a smorgasbord of wait times I want. It was to suggest logical options. None of what I wrote is about what would work for me, just some ideas about setting enforced chastity waits. I think that each male reacts differently to enforced waits between orgasms. A lot has to do with age. But based on my reading, we are quite similar.

In my case, I’ve observed that starting with the third day of waiting I get much hornier. This peaks on the fifth or sixth day. My interest remains very strong until the seventh day. After that it drops slowly. By the fifteenth day I don’t think much about sex during the day. If Mrs. Lion teases me nightly, she can easily get me erect and excited no matter how long the wait. If she skips a day, even early in the cycle, it takes more work to get me hard. She observed that yesterday. In the past she commented that I get hard very quickly between the fifth and seventh days.  On the day she edged me twice I was super interested in coming. Apparently the frequency of edging has the expected effect on me. What I find interesting is that now that I am at my 15th day of waiting, even writing about all this isn’t arousing me. I’ve read that others also find waiting much easier after about ten days.

I’m not sure that any of this should influence how long I wait, but it does influence the lion “weather report”. This loss of interest when not being stimulated doesn’t mean I am less interested in an orgasm, at least for now. Instead of biological pressure to come, I find myself missing the opportunities to come. It’s hard to put into words. It’s like the feeling you get after a great vacation. You really wanted it to last longer or happen again very soon. It’s a longing. Is this emotional horniness? I think that in situations where the keyholder allows the caged male to give her frequent orgasms, there is much less longing. On an emotional level it must be quite satisfying to provide all that sexual pleasure to the keyholder. Even in vanilla sex, I’ve noticed that my satisfaction is much greater when my partner had a good orgasm.

Our case, at least at present, is different. Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in orgasms for herself. We are both focused on my orgasms exclusively. I think this is why I can observe so easily my change from physical sexual need to emotional longing. As a practical matter, it shouldn’t affect how Mrs. Lion sets my waits. It just means that the lion weather report changes as my wait lengthens. It also means that if time between edging sessions is increased, she can expect it to take longer, maybe much longer to get me aroused and close to orgasm.

There’s one other thing I have observed: After a long wait (for me), the orgasm can sometimes actually hurt and not be very pleasurable. Other guys have observed this as well. My theory is that my body needs “priming” before actually going for an orgasm. That doesn’t mean edging me in the same session as I get to come. That didn’t help in the past. I think it means an edging session the same day that doesn’t end in orgasm, then some time later the session that includes preliminary edging and the orgasm. That’s just a theory. I don’t have any real evidence to support it. I also believe this is only necessary after a relatively long wait. I think it gives my endocrine system time to secrete enough hormones to restore physical horniness. This could all be wrong, but it’s my theory for now.

By:
In: Keyholder, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

We’re back from our long weekend. It was great fun being away. Mrs. Lion and I had a chance to relax. I was wild (uncaged) the entire time and Mrs. Lion edged me over and over every night. As of today, my last orgasm was two weeks ago. My next opportunity to come is next Saturday.

Sunday night, after edging me orally a few times, Mrs. Lion asked me if I wanted to orgasm. I can’t begin to tell you how much I wanted an orgasm just then. But I said no because I want it to be as easy as possible for Mrs. Lion to make me wait the full time. In the past I would have immediately said that I want one. I know it isn’t easy for her to stick to her guns when it comes to getting me off. She is always only inches away from giving me a bonus orgasm I  know we both would have loved one on Sunday night, but it seemed to me that it’s unfair to her if push for one. I may be wrong, but I think that keeping me waiting until at least my scheduled date will reinforce her authority and make it easier for her to make me wait even though I desperately want relief. In the past, I have gotten bonus orgasms when she asked if I wanted to come and I said, “Yes.” She’s said and written that she wants me to wait the full time. I owe it to her to help her succeed.

The fantasy has me, the caged male, giving up control and the keyholder withholding orgasms as long as she wishes. I think the reality is that before my keyholder can comfortably do that with me, she needs my support. In this case it means that I have to help her at “weak” moments to remember her decision.  I have to confess that in the past I have been way too fast helping her cave in early. The big problem for her to withhold my orgasms is that she likes them almost as much as I do. She isn’t all that fond of me waiting. In the past, I’ve written that how long I wait isn’t really the point; it’s that I am not controlling when I can ejaculate. Mrs. Lion agrees. That’s why the current 18 day wait is one of my longest. I am not getting a desire to wait longer next time, but if it takes a longer wait for me to truly accept her control, then she should give me one. She may also want to use my longer waits to train herself to be stronger about bonus orgasms.

I’ve read a lot of opinions written by women on what the optimum time between male orgasms should be. Most of the sane ones think a wait between one and two weeks is the minimum. The crazier ones think 6 months to two years is optimum. I don’t understand what factual basis any of these writers have. I am pretty sure there is no basis at all. Speaking just for myself, if I get an orgasm every four days or so, it feels like a normal, non-enforced-chastity sexual relationship. Once we pass seven days I start to get very desperate. At two weeks it took everything I had not to beg for that bonus orgasm. The average guy over forty has sex (orgasm) about twice a week or 100 times a year. Enforced chastity should certainly reduce that  number significantly. One orgasm a week would divide that in half, but then a substantial number of couples have sex only once a week. One orgasm on average of once every two weeks would divide that once-a-week number in half again; about 25 orgasms a year. Once a month would take it to twelve.

Some keyholders decide on orgasm frequency based on the caged male’s behavior. Some guys change significantly after they come; sometimes for many days. In those cases, I can understand making orgasms as infrequent as practical. Others, like me, don’t change much at all (according to Mrs. Lion). In this case, orgasm spacing should make it crystal clear to the caged male that he is no longer enjoying normal sexual frequency. Enforced chastity comes with a significantly reduced number of ejaculations. I don’t think Mrs. Lion has decided on my minimum wait. She likes to switch up between very short waits and longer ones like this one. I really love the shorter waits. Waiting three or four days is wonderful! But from the perspective of sexual control, the minimum should probably be much longer. I hesitate to write this, but I think the minimum wait should be two weeks. That’s twice the average for almost all men. It’s long enough to make me crazy. Maybe waits should range from 14 to 60 days. That means in an average year I would come about 20 times. I know this would be very difficult for me. I really want to come now and have for the last ten days. Nightly teasing doesn’t make things any easier. Maybe this is really too long and minimums should be shorter. It’s a good thing it isn’t up to me. I vote for 4 days!

By:
In: Edging, Keyholder, Keyholder101, Lion's Journal, Orgasm denial, Ruined orgasm, Sex

Male orgasm control is largely exercised by depriving the male of wanted orgasms. His keyholder or top only allows him to come when she wishes. Most of us who are under orgasm control, aside from waiting, are teased to the edge of orgasm. Sometime we get a ruined orgasm which is carrying edging just past the point of no return. Both practices are virtually the same thing. I decided to do some research on male arousal and orgasm to get a better handle on these orgasm control practices. Males and females have very different arousal patterns. Females slowly build excitement that climaxes with at least one orgasm. The buildup is steady. Males, on the other hand, have a very different pattern. We start to get aroused and become erect. Continued stimulation feels good but doesn’t necessarily build up excitement very much. Finally, we get very excited and ejaculate. The time it takes to go from hard to ejaculation is generally less than ten seconds. Once we ejaculate, we lose interest. That takes a minute or two at most.

When we are at the top of the curve, the brain initiates a sequence of events. Starting ejaculation takes about two seconds. In that time various glands begin releasing components of semen and they start mixing and moving toward the penis. Muscle spasms are triggered the next few seconds that moves the semen up and out. The ejaculatory phase can take from one to ten seconds or more. In some men like me, the initial ejaculation is followed with semen dripping out for some time. Occasionally, it looks like I am not producing any semen. I have an orgasm with no apparent ejaculate. However, as I calm down, semen starts dripping out. It’s probably a natural part of getting older.

Edging is fairly tricky. The idea is to get the male as far up that steep curve as possible without triggering ejaculation. When Mrs. Lion edges me, I feel a rapid buildup of excitement. I mentally prepare to ejaculate. I can’t help but thrust and try to get over the top. Of course, Mrs. Lion knows that and stops just before I can get that satisfaction. My arousal level will gradually go down. When it does, she starts stimulating me again right to the point I will come. And she stops. That’s the process. Grrrr! In order to do this, she needs to read me like a book. I think that I do some involuntary things just prior to orgasm. Even when I fight to remain perfectly still and breathing evenly, she can tell. As far as I can see, edging gives me all the work of sex without that final note. Each successive time she repeats it, the frustration grows. I never want to tell her to stop. Maybe this time she will take me over the top. When she finally stops, I gradually lose my erection. Oddly, I never feel compelled to finish on my own. I guess I am getting well trained. The more times you edge in  a session, the shorter the time becomes between almost ejaculating and the start of orgasm.

A ruined orgasm is edging that goes a bit too far. Just one stroke past the point of no return will trigger the brain to start the launch process. When stimulation suddenly stops, everything shuts down. I do feel muscles tensing and I can feel the PC muscles trying to ejaculate. Generally some semen will seep out. Depending on just how soon she stops stroking, the ruined orgasm can be almost as good as a full one. It’s very tricky to stop at exactly the right time. A few seconds after the ruined orgasm, I rapidly get soft. We haven’t really tried it, but I’ve been told that if Mrs. Lion keeps stimulating my penis, eventually I will get hard again and ready for more edging or another ruined orgasm.

There is a risk with ruined orgasms. Contrary to claims to the opposite, any ejaculation will have an effect on the cumulative frustration the male feels. I’ve heard tales it makes a guy hornier. In my case it doesn’t. The next day I either feel the same way I do after a full orgasm or no different than if I were edged the night before. Some keyholders provide only ruined orgasms as release after long waits. They never give their male the opportunity for a full one. They guys who live this way seem pretty happy with the situation. When I think about it, I realize that women are often in sexual situations that don’t result in an orgasm for them. Either their partners finish too soon or they have some other issue that keeps them from coming. However, they report still enjoying sex a lot. Of course the female orgasm builds in a linear manner, so a lot of arousal is fun too. Males can experience the same thing when edged. I, for example, know I’m not getting to really come, but I am getting a lot of the pleasure anyway. It’s both frustrating and enjoyable. It’s enough fun for me to want more. I think that is why many guys are content with just edging and ruined orgasms. They are fun and are certainly better than nothing. I’m grateful that Mrs. Lion teases me almost every night. Nevertheless I am counting the days until I can come again.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Tomorrow we begin another weekend trip in our RV. Mrs. Lion has allowed me to be cage free while we travel. She does this because our RV toilet has a shallow bowl design. The inside slopes gently toward the drain. The result of this is that when I sit to pee, my balls sit on the porcelain. and get bathed by my pee. This isn’t the end of the world, but it isn’t very pleasant. I can’t stand to pee since my aim is uncertain in the cage. I’m not entirely sure why I get a vacation from my cage because of this. My balls, after all, are washable. I admit that I enjoy the freedom and it does simplify things somewhat.

In the future there is a chance I will need to travel (if I get the job I am pursuing). That travel will, of course, require me to go through airport security. My Jail Bird chastity device will not go through unnoticed. So, I will either have to be wild when traveling or find a plastic cage that fits. My research indicates that there are two potential products: the CB6000 and the Holy Trainer 2. The CB2000 has numerous problems that rule it out. The Holy Trainer has a short version and gets excellent reviews. Unfortunately, even the short Holy Trainer is at least an inch longer than my Jail Bird. While it might fit, there will be “head room” at the end. Excess length, particularly in a closed tube like the Holy Trainer traps moisture and will smell in a day or so of wear. Getting clean with a tube on is iffy at best. My Jail Bird is very easy to keep clean. The open cage cleans up in a normal shower. A week-long trip wearing the Holy Trainer will likely result in some serious hygiene issues. Unless there is another, easy-to-clean plastic device, it appears I will need to be wild on business trips as well as our RV adventures. This isn’t really a security problem. I am certainly well enough trained to not masturbate. It’s just a bit odd, like taking off my wedding ring.

As I think about it, being wild while traveling is in a way worse than no device when we travel together. The cage reminds us to continue to be physical and sexual with one another. I’m not really suggesting that on a four-day trip we will forget. That’s silly. But the fact remains that the cage is a valuable symbol of our renewed physical relationship. Neither of us believes that it’s on my penis to prevent me from sexual disobedience. It’s there in the same way we wear our wedding rings: as a symbol of our sexual relationship and our power exchange. I actually feel a little undressed when it isn’t on. Being wild doesn’t change the way Mrs. Lion treats me. She has no problem spanking a wild lion. Nor does she mind edging me over and over. She clearly isn’t worried I will take matters into my own hands.

As a submissive I still have a way to go. I try to squirm away during spankings. I can forget to remind Mrs. Lion of scheduled punishment days or maintenance spanking days. I still interrupt her. One area I am completely confident about is sex. I am completely trained in terms of masturbation. That’s something, isn’t it?